Poll - Why did the chicken cross the road ?

[piano8950 32577]

It would be arrogant and disrespectful not to consider the feelings of the road in this poll.

 

There you go, derailing the thread and making it about roads. This was not supposed to be a debate, but a discussion.

 

I think you're being quite rude to the chickens and owe them an apology.

[Jabba 18389]

So, is the chicken living in the UK or North America?

Makes a difference as to which side to approach a crossing. Since the Brits drive on the wrong side of the road (crazy bastards), then conceivably, from our point of view, the chicken will have already arrived at the opposite side.

 

I hope that somehow made sense.

[Old Dog 179138]

There you go, derailing the thread and making it about roads. This was not supposed to be a debate, but a discussion.

 

I think you're being quite rude to the chickens and owe them an apology.

 

Contrary to your arrogant and completely disrespectful personal attack on me, I will nonetheless attempt to dissuade anyone who actually wants to consider the original question to see only my viewpoint. My personal feelings are far more important than anything you can possibly feel, and you say things that make me want to edit my original post in order to make you appear more villainous.

 

I would say that you are a big poopyhead and that your genitalia smells of wood alcohol and goat cheese. Don't be alarmed. I will edit that later to claim that I have never said such a thing and that I was completely respectful.

 

Neener neener neener. You have a smelly weiner.

[piano8950 32577]

Contrary to your arrogant and completely disrespectful personal attack on me, I will nonetheless attempt to dissuade anyone who actually wants to consider the original question to see only my viewpoint. My personal feelings are far more important than anything you can possibly feel, and you say things that make me want to edit my original post in order to make you appear more villainous.

 

I would say that you are a big poopyhead and that your genitalia smells of wood alcohol and goat cheese. Don't be alarmed. I will edit that later to claim that I have never said such a thing and that I was completely respectful.

 

Neener neener neener. You have a smelly weiner.

 

 

*EVIL LAUGH*

 

I have quoted you therefore capturing your lame attempts at insulting me then hiding, you coward!

 

You sir, are the bigger poopyhead, with 25% more poopy, with 99% less head (the good kind).

[Old Dog 179138]

*EVIL LAUGH*

 

I have quoted you therefore capturing your lame attempts at insulting me then hiding, you coward!

 

You sir, are the bigger poopyhead, with 25% more poopy, with 99% less head (the good kind).

 

Touche.

 

I will claim that you have taken me out of context and then I will change my name to make me appear less nefarious.

 

Oh and I think that the roads deserve far more credit in the equation.

 

Furthermore, your testicles have not descended. You have ovacles.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

You guys are killing me! LMAO!!!

[cat 262460]

My sides are hurting from laughing so hard! Thank you guys for this, I needed it!

 

cat

[piano8950 32577]

Furthermore, your testicles have not descended. You have ovacles.

 

First of all, it's spelt ovaries. And by your comment, I see that you are just part of the patriarchal problem that perpetuates the wishes of the road over the chicken.

 

It is people like you that continue on the historic injustices and maintain them through society today. Sure the road loses out once in a while, but chickens have to give up their eggs every.single.week. And for what, just to make some yummy omelettes, that fills the stomachs of the politicians who fund road work projects, and fills the stomachs of the construction workers who build and maintain the road. You sir do not pay attention and have no regard for the chicken, and I will ask you again to apologize. For shame...for shame.

[LeeRichards 177238]

*EVIL LAUGH*

 

I have quoted you therefore capturing your lame attempts at insulting me then hiding, you coward!

 

You sir, are the bigger poopyhead, with 25% more poopy, with 99% less head (the good kind).

 

Old Dong and Pianoman ! You are both a pair of eleventeen year old hijacking poopyheads ! I award you 50% poopiness each !

 

Now I feel I have two choices here :

 

A: Report you to the Mod for being underage can't play nice poopyheads

 

or

 

B: Lock you two in a padded room with a case of Jack Daniels and 4 weapons. A Hitachi wand .... an as seen on TV SlapChop with a ShamWow thrown in for free .... nipple clamps ..... and a TV, DVD player, full season set of "Little House on the Prairie" and 25 feet of rope. Only one of you can come out alive ;)

 

 

Anyhooo by the poll there, bisexual chicken population is on the rise, therefore explaining the decrease in egg production, less action for the roosters and in turn blue ball syndrome and/or why the pussycats at the farm are now all cocky and go cocka doodle meow every morning at 5 AM.

 

Thanks for your votes folks !

[piano8950 32577]

 

B: Lock you two in a padded room with a case of Jack Daniels and 4 weapons. A Hitachi wand .... an as seen on TV SlapChop with a ShamWow thrown in for free .... nipple clamps ..... and a TV, DVD player, full season set of "Little House on the Prairie" and 25 feet of rope. Only one of you can come out alive ;)

 

 

Well since I'm young enough to have strength and flexibility on my side, but old enough to have some experience, I pick this option.

 

But I'm only going for this option if a duo is part of the prize. Ladies...volunteers?

 

 

OldDog will not be killed, but the rules specified only one can come out outside So I will use methods of ingeniousness to make this happen humanely

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

--------

Sorry, misread something and my comment didn't make any sense once I realized it.

[LeeRichards 177238]

--------

Sorry, misread something and my comment didn't make any sense once I realized it.

 

No It made sense. You get on in there with those two Gabs...... no doubt 99.99999 % chance you will be the one that comes out alive :)

 

For example.

 

You are a redhead sometimes = feisty and fiery.....

and

When I ask you to spell smart....you say "Smart....S M A R T"

 

When I ask Piano8950 to spell smart...he says "Snart" S N A R T"

 

When I ask Old Dong to spell smart...he say "Penis" PEE NUS

 

Just sayin.......

 

Not sure what that had to do with chickens crossing the road so just hijacked my own frickin thread !!! My bad ;)

[piano8950 32577]

 

When I ask Piano8950 to spell smart...he says "Snart" S N A R T"

 

 

I think you've crossed the line with the jokes at my expense. If I were to speel the word,

[LeeRichards 177238]

I think you've crossed the line with the jokes at my expense. If I were to speel the word,

 

Yes perhaps I crossed the line.... oops. Was this part of your studies and education Pianoman ? Rave reviews I hear.....

 

[Old Dog 179138]

No It made sense. You get on in there with those two Gabs...... no doubt 99.99999 % chance you will be the one that comes out alive :)

 

For example.

 

You are a redhead sometimes = feisty and fiery.....

and

When I ask you to spell smart....you say "Smart....S M A R T"

 

When I ask Piano8950 to spell smart...he says "Snart" S N A R T"

 

When I ask Old Dong to spell smart...he say "Penis" PEE NUS

 

Just sayin.......

 

Not sure what that had to do with chickens crossing the road so just hijacked my own frickin thread !!! My bad ;)

 

Now I am offended. Or would be offended if this was an actual thread about things that were really real. I will feign offence for the purposes of achieving some degree of sympathy or at least empathy... and then when you come to my defence (or not) I will again change my original response to say that I was misquoted and then make you appear like an aggressor.

 

Back to chickens. I would suggest that the only chickens that have ever crossed my road are ones that wait for the light to turn green and the appropriate amount of caution has been observed to allow for their safe and legal crossing of my road. That is the only legal way for a chicken to cross my road and I certainly want to raise myself to the level of pure and strict adherence to legal poultry movement.

 

I still suggest that the chicken's crossing is secondary to the road and even further suggest that the chicken only crosses to see me. Without me, she would never have to cross. In fact why are we speaking of chickens and roads anyhow. Didn't the OP actually state that this was a thread about me and my feelings? I believe that he did; he just changed the whole topic of the conversation when people started speaking about poultry and pavement.

 

Hmmmmmm.... chickens lay eggs. Eggs go well with bacon.

[PhantomKnight 7914]

I wonder what the chicken is thinking as he reads this thread :)

[Old Dog 179138]

I wonder what the chicken is thinking as he reads this thread :)

 

Chickens can't read. Chickens only think about having sex on the other side of the poor unfortunate roadway. You know that many leave claw marks in the pavement?? But NO protection for the roadway. No. All we think of is the poor chicken and her need for sexual and probably illegal gratification on the other side of the road. And if she gets killed mid way across the road?? That stains the road. Another reason that the road should be considered of greater importance.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Best. Poll. Ever.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I kind of forgot that the poll deadline was up. I want to take a moment to thank all of you that voted....and to those that contributed to the thread. It didn't get too ugly at all. No suspensions or bans. Old Dog rambled on a bit about roads and stuff but that's to be expected from the old fella :) Actually I wish he was our Premier because our roads in Manitoba certainly need some attention !!!

 

So some valuable information has been given to help me move forward with the never-ending question...."Why did the chicken cross the road?"

 

The poll results indicate that there are a lot more bi-sexual chickens out there than I thought. Horny cluckers are going both ways damnitt !! ;)

 

Soooo as a part time farmer with chickens ..... and because of your help peeps....................

 

I have hired a flaming GAY rooster as a traffic cop to keep the freakin chickens on the right side of the road !!!!!! Hetero chicks on one side and bisexual chickies on the other.

 

 

Thx again for your help :)

[thedriver 6179]

I think it is time to give the real answer to the question,

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

To get to the other side

 

Why did he want to get to the other side?

 

To get to the pub

 

Why did he want to go to the pub?

 

To get to the bathroom

 

Why did he want to get to the bathroom?

 

Because thats were all the cocks hang out.

[Elle Diablo 1345]

The chicken crossed the road so it could "get in my belly"!