Poll - Why did the chicken cross the road ?

[LeeRichards 177238]

I always wanted to do a poll. I really just want to know Cerbies opinions on this question. It would be best for nobody to comment as I absolutely don't want this to turn into an argument or a hen fight or a chicken fight or a cock fight !! Just curious :)

[Mikeyboy 27113]

I know you said not to comment, but I couldn't resist. It has to be number two. (I love bisexual chicks ;-) )

[IsaMassage 54318]

I kinda like the idea of a cock Figtt! Hehehe

[explorer69 3513]

I think you missed the point. Currently there is a fifth option: she was lost.

However really it doesn't matter what the chicken was doing. The real debate is where the hell was the farmer?

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

She was on the wrong side of the reaod

[silverado17 12689]

always been to get to the other side

[Jabba 18389]

One has to first ask themselves some relevant questions:

 

1. Was it a paved road?

2. Was it really a road or perhaps merely a gravel path?

3. If was merely a gravel path, then it wasn't a road at all now was it??!

4. Now that we've established that it was just a gravel path and not a bloody road, what was the point of this pol...oh, never mind.

 

Sorry. I know the OP didn't want this to turn into an argument. My bad.:icon_biggrin:

[explorer69 3513]

One has to first ask themselves some relevant questions:

 

1. Was it a paved road?

2. Was it really a road or perhaps merely a gravel path?

3. If was merely a gravel path, then it wasn't a road at all now was it??!

4. Now that we've established that it was just a gravel path and not a bloody road, what was the point of this pol...oh, never mind.

 

Sorry. I know the OP didn't want this to turn into an argument. My bad.:icon_biggrin:

 

lol

[canuckhooker 19202]

But what about all those chickens that have no motivation to cross the road? Why can't I chose that option??? Not every chicken wants to travel you know.

[piano8950 32577]

Sorry. I know the OP didn't want this to turn into an argument. My bad.:icon_biggrin:

 

 

Well there you go, taking this thread off topic! Jesus. It's people like you that makes the chicken cross the road, to seek greener pastures, hornier cocks, and chickens with delicious legs and breasts (and wings...)

 

Hope you're happy Jabba the derailer

[canuckhooker 19202]

And furthermore this discussion obviously needs more debate. I draw your attention to this paper that may definitely prove that to a chicken there is no road.

[Jabba 18389]

Well there you go, taking this thread off topic! Jesus. It's people like you that makes the chicken cross the road, to seek greener pastures, hornier cocks, and chickens with delicious legs and breasts (and wings...)

 

Hope you're happy Jabba the derailer

 

I prefer to be known henceforth as: Jabba the Irritator

You do however make compelling reasons as to why a chicken would want to make such a hazardous journey...the legs and breasts thing had me by the fruit (if there is such a thing on a slug).

 

..Umm, did I derail again?

[piano8950 32577]

I prefer to be known henceforth as: Jabba the Irritator

You do however make compelling reasons as to why a chicken would want to make such a hazardous journey...the legs and breasts thing had me by the fruit (if there is such a thing on a slug).

 

..Umm, did I derail again?

 

If you're going to give yourself a title, make it a proper one

 

 

Oh Mighty Jabba the Irritator. Son of Jabba the Hutt, son of Pizza the Hutt, King of Irritaly, Leader of the Left Lane Hogging Society, Founder and Board member of the Cold Damp Socks Institute, and

[Phaedrus 209521]

Plato: For the greater good.

 

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

 

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

 

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

 

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

 

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

 

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

 

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

 

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

 

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

 

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

 

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

 

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

 

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

 

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

 

Aristotle: To actualize its potential. Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.

 

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

 

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

 

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

 

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

 

Epicurus: For fun.

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

 

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

 

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

 

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

 

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

 

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

 

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

 

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

 

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

 

The Sphinx: You tell me.

 

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

 

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

 

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

 

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

 

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

 

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

 

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

 

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

 

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

 

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

 

Othello: Jealousy.

 

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

 

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

 

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

 

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

 

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

 

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

 

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

 

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

 

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

 

Hamlet: That is not the question.

 

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

 

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

 

Constable: To get a better view.

[LeeRichards 177238]

One has to first ask themselves some relevant questions:

 

1. Was it a paved road?

2. Was it really a road or perhaps merely a gravel path?

3. If was merely a gravel path, then it wasn't a road at all now was it??!

4. Now that we've established that it was just a gravel path and not a bloody road, what was the point of this pol...oh, never mind.

 

Sorry. I know the OP didn't want this to turn into an argument. My bad.:icon_biggrin:

 

Well Jabba the City Slicker....... I am a country boy from hickville. We call gravel paths "ROADS" here ;)

 

I think you missed the point. Currently there is a fifth option: she was lost.

However really it doesn't matter what the chicken was doing. The real debate is where the hell was the farmer?[/QUOTE]

 

I was busy tending to my sheep....Bah Bah Bahhhhhhhhhhh

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Now now Lee you can never post a thread and request that no one comment! That's just an invitation! Lol. In my opinion, she crossed the road because there was a shoe sale.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Now now Lee you can never post a thread and request that no one comment! That's just an invitation! Lol. In my opinion, she crossed the road because there was a shoe sale.

 

My rooster at the farm always says to the chickens ...."you must walk a mile in my shoes before you can get some shoes... Now Cluck Off" ;)

 

[IsaMassage 54318]

Nothing Like a good COCK FIGHT! hahah

[Phaedrus 209521]

Sorry, but this question is simply not relevant in today's world. With advances in the studies of topology, it is now more important to inquire as to the chicken's reason for crossing the Möbius Strip.

 

Which was, obviously, to get to the same side.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Plato: For the greater good.

 

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

 

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

 

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

 

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD! ...

 

...

 

Now, now, Phaedrus! Have you considered the fact that you might be hurting Lee's feelings by providing realistic options that were not included in HIS poll? Shame on you!

 

I might have to cross the road myself and give you a real good spanking

[IsaMassage 54318]

The chiken just wanted a COCk!!!

[crankF 12893]

The chicken was running from the Fowl Patrol after escaping from prison, in other words, she "flew the coop"!

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Because she couldnt drive to the other side!

[Old Dog 179138]

It would be arrogant and disrespectful not to consider the feelings of the road in this poll.

 

I mean, sure the debate is MAINLY about chickens but we can't disregard the residual wear and tear of the road by chickens crossing willy nilly to fulfill whatever purpose (sexual or otherwise) they wish.

 

Sure, you could consider the road only incidental to the equation, but these chicken encounters... wait no, we don't have chicken encounters, we have chicken dates.... not really a date.... ummmm.... these resplendent chicken visits (which because they are happening on the road's home turf are the only legal way at present that a chicken/road crossing may occur)... ummmm... lost my train of thought.... oh yeah.... the road MUST be considered when all discussions of the legalization of chicken crossings are ummmmm... discussed.

 

Should we discuss the Albanian model of chicken road crossing or the Senegalese model? The Peruvian model considers the road as the villain, and never considers that a chicken should have the ability to cross roads at their own location or should have a driver or a bodyguard that could ensure their safety.... damn Peruvians....

 

Should we legalize chicken road crossings or just decriminalize? What about if a chicken is technically only a chick? What about chickens that just strut by the side of the road??? What about chickens that only go part way across the road... are they full service chickens or just chickens that offer full crossings to just SOME roads? What about unfortunate chickens that cross all roads just to get food??? Are they represented in this poll???? Do farmers have some responsibility in this debate??? I mean, they let their chickens strut about like little feathered tarts.....

 

Ohhhh... this is complicated. You should see the pics of the chicks that I have let cross my road. I have a gallery, you know.... wait.... strike that..... ummmm......

[PhantomKnight 7914]

Something tells me the chicken gets hit by a car. Poor thing. ;)