Seeing multiple woman

[Fresh start 17467]

I know some guys want variety or enjoy sleeping with many different woman but I have my own reason. This is something I've felt conscious about for a long time now. I enjoy seeing the same woman several times but I always tend to see someone else in fear and to prevent myself of getting to attached. I mean some to me have gone beyond a sp/client relationship. I feel that I can discuss anything with them, some offered valued advice in time of need. I must admit before cerb I had fallen for one who may have led me on to much but still it happened and being so vulnerable at the time I was devastated, so I tend to back away before any feelings develop. I do feel a slight guilt that I'm betraying the woman I've seen by seeing someone different, which I understand this is supposed to be no strings attached and I know and doesn't bother me in the slightest that they are not exclusive and it is their job. When asked for a reference I feel bad giving a name, like how is the lady going to feel about giving a reference about me?

How about you why do you see different woman.

Ladies does this bother you? Does this make you think any less of yourself?

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm sorry Empty that you have to be so guarded with your feelings when hobbying and its never alright for an sp to lead anyone on. When I first started meeting cerb men I always mentioned to many before they left the name of another woman, and, in all cases I was asked why I wanted to give my business away. I explained that I just wanted them to be aware that there were other beautiful ladies if they didn't want to see me again. I must say their reaction confused me as I thought referring and recommending was part of the experience. I am always happy to meet with nice guys repeatedly, if they so choose, if they don't that's fine too. Either way its never taken personally. In this lifestyle one should understand that most providers are in this for monetary reasons, not to form emotional bonds.

[Fresh start 17467]

So it doesn't bother or effect you if I clients goes somewhere else? I assumed the loss of client or potential income would upset or disappoint some. For those I take a break from and enjoyed our time together I certainly do plan on returning but stepping back provides necessary time to not become attached. I believe it unfair for me or the provider to become attached to someone when the feelings aren't mutual.

 

I'm sorry Empty that you have to be so guarded with your feelings when hobbying and its never alright for an sp to lead anyone on. When I first started meeting cerb men I always mentioned to many before they left the name of another woman, and, in all cases I was asked why I wanted to give my business away. I explained that I just wanted them to be aware that there were other beautiful ladies if they didn't want to see me again. I must say their reaction confused me as I thought referring and recommending was part of the experience. I am always happy to meet with nice guys repeatedly, if they so choose, if they don't that's fine too. Either way its never taken personally. In this lifestyle one should understand that most providers are in this for monetary reasons, not to form emotional bonds.

[CristyCurves 169032]

So it doesn't bother or effect you if I clients goes somewhere else? I assumed the loss of client or potential income would upset or disappoint some. For those I take a break from and enjoyed our time together I certainly do plan on returning but stepping back provides necessary time to not become attached. I believe it unfair for me or the provider to become attached to someone when the feelings aren't mutual.

 

No Empty it doesn't bother me as my clients choices don't affect my ego nor my pocket book. I don't rely on this as my sole income so I am able to live comfortably without this , I'd have to be a bit more frugal but my day to day expenses have been covered. I think you are being smart by taking a break or stepping back form a provider you have become attached to since most sp hobby relationships are started for monetary reasons or some kind of kink, not for finding a mate. I guess I'm wired perfectly for doing this as I just don't go there I don't attach to people that way, I love the company of men from time to time but love it when they leave as well:)

[futileresistenz 28253]

A great thread, Empty!

 

For my part, I prefer to see only a small number of ladies, and mainly have repeats with my one or two ATFs. I do see the spice that variety can add, so I do mix it up a bit sometimes.

 

As for getting too attached: I believe in being myself and showing (not holding back) my emotions. Ladies that can play along with me are very much valued -after all, it is fantasies that we are living out-, and yet I am fully aware that this is just for the time booked. Once a client leaves, the temptation to hold on to their feelings is there, but you have to compartmentalize them. It is a special type of relationship where you might (but not necessarily) have a deeper attachment, even a friendship, but you must as a client (and as provider) be vigilant in maintaining the boundaries. That's not to say that emotions don't sometimes lead to full-blown 'civilian' relationships, but this is quite rare indeed and not something to expect!

 

And for my last point: Successful providers (especially with their regular clients) don't mind offering suggestions of their friends that a client may be a good fit with (no pun intended) without fear that their income stream is negatively impacted by you booking someone else for a change. I've had this happen (you know who you are) and think that's pretty cool, kind and magnanimous when it's offered.

 

Just my nickle's worth...

FR

[mrgreen760 37785]

Folks come and go including favorites and regulars so personally I think ABP (always be prospecting) is a good thing to do.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest realnicehat]

Excellent topic for discussion Empty.

 

There have been numerous threads/posts regarding clients falling for SP's and vice versa so I think we can all admit it does happen. I appreciate that you are self aware enough to see where your concerns lie and to discuss them openly.

 

Much like Futile, I also tend to find a small group of regulars and repeat with them often. While I understand some men's desire for variety I find it doesn't really work for me. I prefer the sensuality that develops when you have seen someone a few times and can fully relax with them.

 

I have nothing but respect for the ladies who become successful in this business. They play so many different roles (lover, friend, therapist) while walking a fine line between care and attachment. I don't for a second think that any of them are fighting to keep from chasing me to the elevator to beg my return but I would like to think that they enjoy my company while I'm there. If I felt that they didn't I probably wouldn't repeat.

 

The afterglow of a great meeting can last a few hours, sometimes a couple of days but I find it does wear off. If this is not the case for you then yes, backing off for a while is a good idea.

 

It is very sympathetic of you to worry that by backing off or seeing someone else you may in some way hurt a provider but I have found that these ladies know exactly who they are, and exactly what business they are in. There is a reason they command the money that they do, and a reason we willingly pay it. Affection, Sexual release, laughter, a friendly ear, all without complication.

 

So play on my friend, hopefully with a less heavy heart. If you aren't finding some joy in this environment your money and time are better spent elsewhere.

[roamingguy 300291]

Both the ladies and gentlemen in this lifestyle accept that this is by nature a poly amorous lifestyle. I don't think any companion expects a gentleman to see her exclusively, likewise, a lady isn't going to see just one gentleman exclusively.

In fact the ladies, well most of them are supportive of one another. Look on a lot of the ladies' websites. They often have a section where website banners are exchanged so you can while looking at one lady's website, see links to other ladies' websites.

As for providing references, most ladies recognize the importance of verification/screening. And they are happy to provide a reference to a gentleman, because they know it helps keep a lady safe, and by being a giver of a reference, they one day will also be a receiver of a reference. The ladies want to keep each other safe. So don't feel uncomfortable asking if a lady will provide you with a reference, if you are a gentleman and good client she will be happy to do that for you, and the lady you want to see.

And just my opinion, but I think the ladies aren't in competition with each other. That is because each lady is a unique special individual, and no two ladies are alike. Each lady offers something special in her encounters, and no two encounters can be replicated. If a man wishes an encounter with a certain lady at a certain time it is in large part because she offers something special and unique, and another lady would also offer something special and unique, but different. Hope that makes sense

A rambling

RG

[Philander39 3705]

Interesting thread and I do give Empty83 credit of being aware enough to think about this issue. I have to say I also thought about this issue but more in terms of being loyal to the SP who provided me an excellent experience.

 

I think one thing that helps me is that I do not see SPs very often during a year and I'm a realist to know that although I would really like to see my "favourite" her schedule may not line up with my schedule. So by default I end up seeing multiple SPs over a given year. But my multiple may be three or four different SPs over a year. Saying that, I have by luck and good fortune seen an SP multiple times in a given year which in my mind is preferable.

 

I find the SPs here on CERB are very helpful to each other and thus I don't feel any guilt in seeing another SP. The key point is to be respectful to the SPs that you do see, that tends to make you the type of client that SPs would like to see and/or recommend to other SPs - which is a good thing.

[steveyK 4311]

I think perhaps you should take a step back and reflect on what your situation is wrt your 'hobbying' on this or any other site like this. If you are going into your encounters for satisfying your desires, then kudos, you are one of us, but if you are looking for commitment or romance outside of your alloted time, well you should reflect on this and perhaps look at a dating website for these desires. The ladies here are highly professional and provide excellent service, and in providing that service you may be naive and think that you are their only one or you shouldn't see others to the financial detriment of the first one,,, to sum up...enjoy your hobbying or quit! If your hobby is causing you emotional ruin then quit!

Just MHO! Good luck :)

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If I were to get upset that someone I saw decides to see another SP, then I have no business being an SP! Variety is the spice of life and men come to see us to escape reality...not to get ragged or nagged on for seeing other women.

 

Men are visual creatures and what they see often entices them. I can't fault them for that. Each SP has her own signature service you could call it and she really knows how to make a client feel special, he always finds his way back to her. I would be an idiot to think that my clients don't see anyone else. lol. I have a relationship with them but it's one that is a business relationship and secondly not a personal commitment.

 

I have many SP friends here and many of us have mutual clients and often refer one another. Those who become jealous or very upset that their clients decides to see someone else, needs to take note of what they're doing in this business.

[piano8950 32577]

After moving to Toronto, I've met a few SPs, and while all have been great, they are very very different in their approach. While one oozes sex, another has a level of sensuality that's unparallel, and another has a rather unique approach (I have yet to find a word that can aptly describe the experience).

 

But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't even a small part of me that feels bad with not repeating. These women were so enthusiastic and welcoming, that to reward an exceptional service with not seeing them again (or at least after seeing a few others first), just seems wrong. This is a luxury, and I know it's no hard feelings, but I do wonder some time.

[Guest realnicehat]

After moving to Toronto, I've met a few SPs, and while all have been great, they are very very different in their approach. While one oozes sex, another has a level of sensuality that's unparallel, and another has a rather unique approach (I have yet to find a word that can aptly describe the experience).

 

But I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't even a small part of me that feels bad with not repeating. These women were so enthusiastic and welcoming, that to reward an exceptional service with not seeing them again (or at least after seeing a few others first), just seems wrong. This is a luxury, and I know it's no hard feelings, but I do wonder some time.

 

I think in any line of work losing a valued repeat client can be disappointing. Having experienced it I know it can make you question yourself, your approach or even your direction. Ultimately you realize that people (or their needs) change and it is usually nothing personal.

 

If you have found ladies whose service was so exceptional you wish to reward them with repeat business then it is a win win for everyone. I personally love repeating with the women whose company I enjoy. I even sometimes feel a little pang of guilt when I decide to switch things up, I think as men we have a built in sense of loyalty and it will kick in at the strangest times. But I believe with experience the ladies realize that some of us will become regulars, some will come and go, and I'm also sure they realize that no matter what they do some men will never repeat.

 

Empty's concerns of attachment certainly should supersede any guilt he may feel about not returning and I'm glad he came here to discuss it. By distancing himself and perhaps fading away gracefully he is actually saving the provider a great deal of stress. Should the attachment become a serious issue I would imagine telling a client he is no longer welcome would be significantly more difficult than simply losing his business.

[emiafish 30979]

Empty's concerns of attachment certainly should supersede any guilt he may feel about not returning and I'm glad he came here to discuss it. By distancing himself and perhaps fading away gracefully he is actually saving the provider a great deal of stress. Should the attachment become a serious issue I would imagine telling a client he is no longer welcome would be significantly more difficult than simply losing his business.

 

Very well put. The consequences of being bitten by the love bug may result in pain, awkwardness and cessation of service. Compared to that, a little lingering guilt is a small price to pay.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Isn't variety the spice of life?

[Guest realnicehat]

Isn't variety the spice of life?

 

No, I think you're thinking of cinnamon. ;)

[emiafish 30979]

:confused0024: Cinnamon is the spice of life? Who knew? :confused0024:

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I love cinnamon! lol

[emiafish 30979]

I love cinnamon! lol

 

Especially on hot sticky buns...

 

Damn! Now I'm hungry and horny.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Clients come and go. That is the nature of the business. I've certainly made connections with many clients and I am always disappointed when our journey comes to an end. Not because it is a loss of income, but because I genuinely enjoyed our time together.

 

As for clients seeing other escorts, I just assume they do. It doesn't bother me. Ottawa is a fairly small community--I've recommended other escorts to clients and other escorts have referred clients to me. I just see it as good business practice. If you respect your colleagues, they're more likely to help you out and vice versa.

[Guest webothscore]

Bottom line. Women are insanely beautiful and smart creatures.

[Justhavinfun 431]

I tend to stick with a small circle for awhile. I feel it's more comforting and a lot less hassle. Like waking up in the same bed every day. The problem is you ladies post some really hot ads wow can you all write creatively. Them wham you stray

But you know so far I have not been disappointed so the circle grows a bit from time to time. Keep up the good ads girls yer the best.

[Mikeyboy 27113]

I do this for the chance to have some non-committal fun. I think attachment is more of a mind set. I don't get attached emotionally, because that isn't the point of all this. (My life is far too complicated as it is.) I have met some great ladies, some of whom I now consider to be friends. I know deep down that this is their profession, and that their emotions rarely go far beyond that of client/sp, which allows this great fantasy to carry on. I do sometimes repeat with ladies I have had an enjoyable time with, but I also like to experience new ladies when they catch my eye. I don't think that most of the ladies would expect differently, any more than I would expect for them not to see other clients. It is the nature of the industry.

I do however know what you mean when it comes to the referrals. I sometimes feel disrespectful asking a lady to recommend me to someone else. After all, this is their livelihood and potential income. I know that many see the big picture and that it is a good safety precaution, but I often wonder if some are offended. I'm sure it is a touchy subject for some.

[Guest D***el B***e]

Isn't variety the spice of life?

 

 

I was just about to say that ......

 

Amazing thread. Everything I'm thinking has been said ....

[Athos 108589]

On the issue of referrals, it might be a good practice to ask a lady, perhaps via e-mail after you've seen her, if she'd be willing to provide you with a reference. This clearly signals that you are planning to see other providers, although to be frank, I can't see how this would be a surprise to her.

 

The reference system is an important vehicle for enhancing safety and security. I can't see many providers not being willing to provide a reference to a good client because they are upset he's seeing other providers. This is the nature of the business, even with regular clients. Ideally, she should want other providers to also see good clients. That, it seems to me, is good for everyone's business.