Why we ask for refferences...

[WhaWhaWha 101]

I realize this is not going to sit well with the ladies who want to use our CERB presence to assess our character, but isn't the whole idea to post anonymously, without fear of reprisal?

 

I mean if everyone knows who I am, will I be at liberty to post warnings in the warning section when I encounter a scam or b&S? Where's my assurance that this won't affect me down the line if I don't remain anonymous? Our full names and contact info including emails and phone numbers are added to the blacklists that we clients cannot access or respond to.

 

For making the mistake of being open about my handle, I have recently been reoved from a very enjoyable review board after posting an honest review. Within 2 hours of posting, the review was removed, my 12-year-long handle banned, and my IP blocked. The site's owner would only say that he read 'something very disturbing' about me after I posted the review. Never a problem before. All because I foolishly let my provider know both my board identity and my real identity. Subsequently a future unrelated booking for that week was cancelled without explanation.

 

Clearly I have made the blacklists Now when I book I simply use my email or phone and tell the ladies who ask that I dont know about the review boards. If I find anyone I can recommend I'll gladly do it, but I won't risk divulging my handle. Even a positive review can have repurcussions. For example, though many of the ladies form alliances through heir profession, a few end up competing as rivals and would seek to damage each other's reputations, frivolously blacklisting their known clients if they have to.

[fortunateone 156618]

I realize this is not going to sit well with the ladies who want to use our CERB presence to assess our character, but isn't the whole idea to post anonymously, without fear of reprisal?

 

I mean if everyone knows who I am, will I be at liberty to post warnings in the warning section when I encounter a scam or b&S? Where's my assurance that this won't affect me down the line if I don't remain anonymous? Our full names and contact info including emails and phone numbers are added to the blacklists that we clients cannot access or respond to.

 

For making the mistake of being open about my handle, I have recently been reoved from a very enjoyable review board after posting an honest review. Within 2 hours of posting, the review was removed, my 12-year-long handle banned, and my IP blocked. The site's owner would only say that he read 'something very disturbing' about me after I posted the review. Never a problem before. All because I foolishly let my provider know both my board identity and my real identity. Subsequently a future unrelated booking for that week was cancelled without explanation.

 

Clearly I have made the blacklists Now when I book I simply use my email or phone and tell the ladies who ask that I dont know about the review boards. If I find anyone I can recommend I'll gladly do it, but I won't risk divulging my handle. Even a positive review can have repurcussions. For example, though many of the ladies form alliances through heir profession, a few end up competing as rivals and would seek to damage each other's reputations, frivolously blacklisting their known clients if they have to.

 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but any sp on a review board is going to be able to connect your contact info with your handle the minute you post a review. I am assuming it was a bad review, or mentioned something specific that she objected to? On many boards, an sp member may have the ability to have potentially damaging reviews removed. It might be a bad review, or it might be information that should not be posted.

 

But that is not really the point. Your review got removed and you got banned not based on your real identity being linked to your handle, but because (I assume) of the contents, tone or information within the review itself. Or perhaps on what happened afterwards. I can see by the post here that you do not accept the ban and the terms for which you were banned, and the removal of the review otherwise you would not be posting this here.

 

Most blacklists areas for sps are all about safety, the only reason to be concerned about getting on one is if you have done something extremely dangerous, damaging or offensive. And if you did any of this, then why be surprised if you end up on one? I am also often offended by male members implied concerns that these areas are going to be misused by sps, and they will end up on it simply because the sps want to keep good clients for themselves. This is not a joke, it is about personal safety, health and wellbeing and a business for sps.

[Guest E*******h S******s]

I realize this is not going to sit well with the ladies who want to use our CERB presence to assess our character, but isn't the whole idea to post anonymously, without fear of reprisal?

 

I mean if everyone knows who I am, will I be at liberty to post warnings in the warning section when I encounter a scam or b&S? Where's my assurance that this won't affect me down the line if I don't remain anonymous? Our full names and contact info including emails and phone numbers are added to the blacklists that we clients cannot access or respond to.

 

For making the mistake of being open about my handle, I have recently been reoved from a very enjoyable review board after posting an honest review. Within 2 hours of posting, the review was removed, my 12-year-long handle banned, and my IP blocked. The site's owner would only say that he read 'something very disturbing' about me after I posted the review. Never a problem before. All because I foolishly let my provider know both my board identity and my real identity. Subsequently a future unrelated booking for that week was cancelled without explanation.

 

Clearly I have made the blacklists Now when I book I simply use my email or phone and tell the ladies who ask that I dont know about the review boards. If I find anyone I can recommend I'll gladly do it, but I won't risk divulging my handle. Even a positive review can have repurcussions. For example, though many of the ladies form alliances through heir profession, a few end up competing as rivals and would seek to damage each other's reputations, frivolously blacklisting their known clients if they have to.

 

Obviously the SP that said something has a more believable reputation than you do. The majority of Mods and Board owners don't take such drastic action unless there is a prior history.

 

As for the ladies frivolously blacklisting clients? That is one of the MOST ridiculous statements I have yet read on these boards. Believe it or not, SP's can actually be fairly objective and figure out for themselves whether or not something another lady says has any merit.

 

You have presented a perfect example why I won't see new clients any longer. Personally, I would decide not to see you based on your foregoing post. It would disturb me greatly if I found out that you managed to see me anyway.:(

[WhaWhaWha 101]

I realize this is not going to sit well with the ladies who want to use our CERB presence to assess our character..

 

Most blacklists areas for sps are all about safety, the only reason to be concerned about getting on one is if you have done something extremely dangerous, damaging or offensive. And if you did any of this, then why be surprised if you end up on one? I am also often offended by male members implied concerns that these areas are going to be misused by sps, and they will end up on it simply because the sps want to keep good clients for themselves. This is not a joke, it is about personal safety, health and wellbeing and a business for sps.

I agree, but you would have to be naive to believe that every SP honors this policy and always tells the truth. You must realize that abuse of the boards goes both ways and some SPs (even a minority) abuse the privelege of the highly indiscrete blacklist boards. though I would never say who, one such provider logged me into her account and let me browse the listings complete with shocking revelations like home addresses, phone numbers, places of business, and full-faced photographs. I know this is necessary information for law enforcement to have if the man has commited some kind of offense or posed a threat. But what if he didn't? Does this really belong on a notice board? What if the SP posting the warning is unstable or has integrity issues? Is that really so impossible? I mean when men post reviews (good or bad) they dont disclose actual contact info... unless its in the form of links to publicly-posted advertisements.

 

 

Obviously the SP that said something has a more believable reputation than you do.

Why obviously? Especially when dealing with a client who has been on the boards for more than a decade and hobbyng for more than two?

The majority of Mods and Board owners don't take such drastic action unless there is a prior history.

Or err on the side of caution

As for the ladies frivolously blacklisting clients? That is one of the MOST ridiculous statements I have yet read on these boards.

You haven't read much then. You never heard of a dishonest provider? Really? Are you naive or would you just like us to be?

Believe it or not, SP's can actually be fairly objective and figure out for themselves whether or not something another lady says has any merit.

Most yes but you cannot account for everyone.

You have presented a perfect example why I won't see new clients any longer. Personally, I would decide not to see you based on your foregoing post. It would disturb me greatly if I found out that you managed to see me anyway.:(

You're safe from that, I promise.

[Andee 220524]

I agree, but you would have to be naive to believe that every SP honors this policy and always tells the truth. You must realize that abuse of the boards goes both ways and some SPs (even a minority) abuse the privelege of the highly indiscrete blacklist boards. though I would never say who, one such provider logged me into her account and let me browse the listings complete with shocking revelations like home addresses, phone numbers, places of business, and full-faced photographs. I know this is necessary information for law enforcement to have if the man has commited some kind of offense or posed a threat. But what if he didn't? Does this really belong on a notice board? What if the SP posting the warning is unstable or has integrity issues? Is that really so impossible? I mean when men post reviews (good or bad) they dont disclose actual contact info... unless its in the form of links to publicly-posted advertisements.

 

I don't know which board you are referring to, but it isn't CERB, that's for sure. The one being indiscrete in this case was the SP who allowed you to look at that area.

 

We have a saying, "no news is good news". We don't spend our time dreaming up ways to make you guys' lives difficult.

 

If someone is listed in our bad dates section, it is because they have done something that the SP feels other SPs should be aware of such as no showing, showing up late, not being hygenically clean, expecting things not offered on the menu, not respecting boundaries, short changing us, etc. Then of course there are the downright nasty and dangerous types which fortunately are in the minority.

 

Then we judge whether or not we think that person is worthy of us seeing.

 

It is unfortunate that you had a bad experience on another board. I am in no position to judge whether they were warranted in blacklisting you, as you claim, but that is the risk one takes on boards. Just as not ALL Sps may be honest, it works the same way with hobbyiests. It's a two way street, with SPs sometimes complaining they have been unfairly reviewed.

 

If you are on this board and trying to make a fresh start, I suggest you let that other stuff go. By drawing attention to it, you are just perpetuating what you claim you think you are not deserving of.

 

The only "guarantee" you will get for not ending up on our so-called "blacklist" is to not piss anyone off.

 

There are literally hundreds of hobbyiests who do not end up on our bad date list, nor do they seem worried about it either.

 

Just some food for thought.

[Guest s******ecan****]

though I would never say who, one such provider logged me into her account and let me browse the listings complete with shocking revelations like home addresses, phone numbers, places of business, and full-faced photographs.

 

 

 

You haven't read much then. You never heard of a dishonest provider? Really? Are you naive or would you just like us to be?

 

 

Logging into an SP account on CERB could very well end up getting yourself banned so its something you should avoid if offered.

 

Also your comments "you haven't read much then" and "are you naive or would you just like us to be"

are unfriendly, uneccessary, and frankly not welcome on CERB. This is a friendly board where we make our points and have our discussions with maturity and respect. If you came here looking to start flame wars or engage in fighting you've come to the wrong place.

 

CERB is a great community, but we have community standards, show some respect for them.

[fortunateone 156618]

Logging into an SP account on CERB could very well end up getting yourself banned so its something you should avoid if offered.

 

Also your comments "you haven't read much then" and "are you naive or would you just like us to be"

are unfriendly, uneccessary, and frankly not welcome on CERB. This is a friendly board where we make our points and have our discussions with maturity and respect. If you came here looking to start flame wars or engage in fighting you've come to the wrong place.

 

CERB is a great community, but we have community standards, show some respect for them.

 

 

I agree. It is annoying to have made a point, then have to re-defend it when the argument comes from someone with no history of using blacklists or even viewing them. It is pure paranoid speculation, often used as an offensive move in an attempt to try to get these areas removed or exposed, and really I have seen these attacks on different boards by different methods before, and the end result is always the same: the sp areas remain intact and the blacklists remain intact, and the good guys do not suffer for their presence, and the bad guys don't get away with their bs.

 

I am not sure about the reference to full details. The details would be privately accessed, and with few exceptions like the example given of the mysterious unnamed sp who gives access to a client (as tho we are to believe they have nothing better to do with their time together), so there is no public exposure of name, address details. The information, even a picture, would be given in an extremem example where the sp assumes the guy will try to disguise himself with a new # or email address. Many sps do outcalls, and get # and address. If a guy is booking fake appts, or is dangerous, then confirming an address is a necessary part of it all. I do not see any of that as a danger to a good client. If a client is truly good, and the sp is mistaken in posting his info based on one experience, other sps will speak up for him and present another viewpoint.

 

I have seen a few black lists that have a lot more info that are fully publicly available without screening the viewers to be legit sps or to have some history on a board before they can view it. These are open for viewing by anyone. spoc . ca and shiftcalgary both have online bad date lists, with as much information as the sp can provide along with the accusations.

descriptions, license plates, type of vehicle, phone #, names, addresses, etc etc.

 

I would end this by saying that any good or great client is supportive of these areas, does not have unrealistic delusions of selfimportance to think that they are so awesomely great that they are included by an sp who doesn't want to share him and that they support the sps desire to work safely and without either endangering themselves or wasting time on jokers. They can already screen for reviewers with bad attitudes based on their posting history, and that really does work against the guy who uses a handle to book or for reference. There is no need to include such a person on a black list tho lol. 8-)

[mod 135639]

I highly doubt anyone here would let a customer see the SP ONLY Area - if they did they are just risking every other ladies safety and the lady would loose her account if the other ladies ever found out who did this.

 

Anyone who is paranoid about what the ladies write in the bad date logs probably has a REASON to be concerned. Probably someone the ladies will want to stay away from as well. Trying to convince people that the lists are not accurate is silly and trying to discredit such a list only makes the person doing the convincing look suspicious!

 

It would come back to haunt the ladies if they started posting stuff that was not true. When someone posts something about a guy and other ladies have had positive experiences with the same guy they discuss it and the ladies make sure to mention that they had a good experience with the same person and defend him (This RARELY HAPPENS but has happened a few times over the years but usually when someone post something BAD the other ladies comment saying they too had the same problem and reinforce the listing to warn others to stay clear of him).

 

The ladies know that if someone posted false info that the other ladies would jump in and voice an opinion (and probably raise a fuss as it would be easy to spot someone trying to post fake data).

 

To this date I have not had anyone tell me that any of the ladies have posted bad info... the ladies look out for one another and they know that in order to protect each others safety they must check any differences they have at the door and work together to keep each other as safe as they can.

 

If someone is on that list 99% of the time they did something to deserve it and 1% of the time maybe they had an off day (no show or something they could not avoid) and even then they should have called - even a trip to the washroom to send a quick sorry message (If they did not even attempt to cancel the date they do deserve the mention in the list)

 

... and the guys need to know that these lists exist and if they are not gentleman and respectful they will also be added to the lists to warn others.

[fortunateone 156618]

I don't know if this is a new feature or I have just not noticed it, but mod has a little note in the lower right corner of the post that says "did you find this post helpful?" and you can click thumbs up or down.

 

I just think that is cool.

[mod 135639]

something I am testing out.

[velvetvixen 110]

So how do you ask for a reference to a potential client?

[LuxeMulvari 65764]

I do however only accept new appts with a number I can verify.. why? because if you no-show I will keep your # in my phone so you can't pull it on me a 2nd time.

 

I am also an SP that does not require references,and am happy to give them if I feel it's appropriate. I just ask that you call from an unblocked number for the exact same reasons as Carrie. I also ask where you found me as i advertise in many places and just like to know where to spend my advertising dollars lol.

[WhaWhaWha 101]

Thank you, Angela and Carrie Moon for your objective and fair responses.

 

MODS, ADMINS, and other SPs, not trying to rattle your cages, just presenting some valid viewpoints to support a clients decision to hobby anonymously. As I said, it is my desire to continue hobbying as I have for more than 2 decades. I have been doing very well on and off the boards. Lately more "off". I can see that my views are not shared. But I did tell the truth about my experiences, shocking as they sound and hard as they are to face. I will keep these views and experiences to myself and limit my posts to recommendations of lovely women and compliments to your discussion board setup and features.

 

...Very cool selection o' smilies you have here...

 

fortunateone, I have seen the "Did you find this post helpful?" review link in techie type support forums for a decade now. Microsoft puts one of these links at the end of every knowledgebase and techhelp articles. VB forums have hundreds of dormant features that mods can activate or leave dormant. This is the first social forum where I've seen it activated.

[fortunateone 156618]

fortunateone, I have seen the "Did you find this post helpful?" review link in techie type support forums for a decade now. Microsoft puts one of these links at the end of every knowledgebase and techhelp articles. VB forums have hundreds of dormant features that mods can activate or leave dormant. This is the first social forum where I've seen it activated.

 

 

Seen them elsewhere, just mentioned because it was the first time I have seen it here. It is similar to a thank you feature which I have seen on one or two other social sites.

[etasman2000 15994]

So how do you ask for a reference to a potential client?

 

Since references take slightly longer to verify it is usually best to have it on your website as part of your contact protocol or part of your schedule announcement.

 

The sooner we know you require a reference the better.

[fortunateone 156618]

Since references take slightly longer to verify it is usually best to have it on your website as part of your contact protocol or part of your schedule announcement.

 

The sooner we know you require a reference the better.

 

 

For more tips on wording, just look at the sites or ads from sps who do require references or have more detailed screening, and form one that works well for you. Many have more than just one option for a client to choose, one that works well for him and for what he can provide.

[AmericanGeisha 100]

I am glad to know that other girls check refs ! When I 1st posted a tour I had so many guys tell me No 1 will see me if I ask for refs in CA !!!

[jasminesummers 100]

I myself found a way around this :)

 

When I first meet clients my boy toy is always there in case something goes wrong. If the client isn't ok with a guy being down the hall then honestly they will or may be trouble in the end. In a lot of cases the client ended up being bi and we all have lots of fun :)

[EmilyRushton 253346]

I am glad to know that other girls check refs ! When I 1st posted a tour I had so many guys tell me No 1 will see me if I ask for refs in CA !!!

More and more ladies are requiring references in Canada and one day hopefully it will be the standard with everyone.

[Guest s******ecan****]

More and more ladies are requiring references in Canada and one day hopefully it will be the standard with everyone.

 

I think it is a matter of setting the client's expectations. Aside from the challenge of seeing your first SP and getting a reference from her/him I don't see why any reasonable client would refuse or be concerned about providing references to providers. It should become standard, and with other screening services that I am dimly aware of (date check? do I have that right) even 1st timers have a way of helping the SP to screen or establish themselves.

[Amanda Bella 421]

The gents are checking for references when they read recommendations and assuring thenselves that some of us are not

gone trown a tauntrum right?

We sex workers we like would also want to know what to expect

and am i safe with this person?

I would never get in to details because everyone is different and

we even act warmer to some right? But knowing "am i safe with this person it is essential"

In this note, guys who phone from private numbers are usually about

to say something horrible or disgusting, this is why most of us dont answer private numbers, neither.

But references rock!

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I don't ask for references. My intuition has never let me down. No prospective client will get an appointment with me today, or even this week. We're going to exchange some e-mail, maybe have a couple of phone conversations, first. I might suggest we have lunch instead of a private meeting (my lunch rate is lower than my private rate) so that we can check each other out and make sure that we do want to have private time together.

 

I also ask new clients to pay a deposit to confirm their first meeting. I accept credit cards, and they know that they can cancel a credit card transaction if they need to. My cancellation policy is clearly outlined on my website (and was worded by my lawyer). That has virtually eliminated time-wasters and no-shows.

 

The main thing I want to say, however, is this: You're concerned for your privacy. Fair enough. We're concerned for our safety. No matter who you are, or how important you are--or think you are--the one who is taking the most risks is the companion. Always.

[MiaBella 10988]

Omg, I've just read this thread, and though for the most part I agree or understand where everyone is coming from, I still can't get one thing off my mind:

Why in the world would you not want to provide a girl who is possibly ENDANGERING her life or livelihood with solid references, Let Alone your Real Name and Cerb Handle with a work number?

Do some men still not understand? Especially ladies working out of their homes. They might possibly have children! Young Children! God Forbid anything ever happened to them because some man who thinks he's 'someone' and 'we are out to get them' or something.

I simply can't put it past me.

My gut has rarely turned me in the wrong direction. Sometimes even with references and a cerb handle, number, name, etc. some guys are determined to call and book and pull a No Show. You have now been BlackListed sir.

And trust me, us ladies may bicker or act foolishly at times, but We Look Out For Each Other!!! Many of the other girls now know Exactly who you are.

Good Luck booking with a Reputable lady again.

 

Really, If you want to be safe and discreet and all that jazz, why not reassure us that you're not a psycho, or wont pull a no show? References keep us All safe.

Really, Don't you feel safer giving a girl references, knowing that she cares about herself enough not to let just anyone into their private area and Bodies? To be safe, you must act safely.

 

Am I crazy here?

[roamingguy 300291]

Omg, I've just read this thread, and though for the most part I agree or understand where everyone is coming from, I still can't get one thing off my mind:

Why in the world would you not want to provide a girl who is possibly ENDANGERING her life or livelihood with solid references, Let Alone your Real Name and Cerb Handle with a work number?

Do some men still not understand? Especially ladies working out of their homes. They might possibly have children! Young Children! God Forbid anything ever happened to them because some man who thinks he's 'someone' and 'we are out to get them' or something.

I simply can't put it past me.

My gut has rarely turned me in the wrong direction. Sometimes even with references and a cerb handle, number, name, etc. some guys are determined to call and book and pull a No Show. You have now been BlackListed sir.

And trust me, us ladies may bicker or act foolishly at times, but We Look Out For Each Other!!! Many of the other girls now know Exactly who you are.

Good Luck booking with a Reputable lady again.

 

Really, If you want to be safe and discreet and all that jazz, why not reassure us that you're not a psycho, or wont pull a no show? References keep us All safe.

Really, Don't you feel safer giving a girl references, knowing that she cares about herself enough not to let just anyone into their private area and Bodies? To be safe, you must act safely.

 

Am I crazy here?

 

I have no problem providing a reference,(or references) if needs be

I have no problem with CERB handle, I mean good god, we all know why we are here...anyone not forthcoming with their CERB handle, something to hide. My guess, they have had issues on the board and they would be flagged as someone to avoid

Contact phone number (unblocked) no problem

Contact email, no problem

Name (first & last) well some hobbiests have to show discretion in their real life, just as most of the ladies don't use their real names in their escorting life. I'll leave that one open for debate

Work number, no. In my case I work for the federal government in a shared office. I'm not ashamed of hobbying, but it's my private life, not something where a lady can potentially call in, and the conversation would be from my end, in a public area (not all of us have privacy at work)

Not arguing, but some thoughts from a hobbiest's point of view

RG

[fortunateone 156618]

I have no problem providing a reference,(or references) if needs be

I have no problem with CERB handle, I mean good god, we all know why we are here...anyone not forthcoming with their CERB handle, something to hide. My guess, they have had issues on the board and they would be flagged as someone to avoid

Contact phone number (unblocked) no problem

Contact email, no problem

Name (first & last) well some hobbiests have to show discretion in their real life, just as most of the ladies don't use their real names in their escorting life. I'll leave that one open for debate

Work number, no. In my case I work for the federal government in a shared office. I'm not ashamed of hobbying, but it's my private life, not something where a lady can potentially call in, and the conversation would be from my end, in a public area (not all of us have privacy at work)

Not arguing, but some thoughts from a hobbiest's point of view

RG

 

 

I also see no reason to ask for or require work # information. We are not in the US, and proving the potential client is not LE (and therefore has a legit job elsewhere) is unnecessary. Asking for such info, in the hopes that having provided it, he now shows up in order to prevent any problems related to having given out such details does not make for a happy encounter, imo. About the only thing that can assure someone is not typically a WOT is references from other sps, who can attest to his reliability. I have had some guys call from many diff #s, work/home/cel/blocked and not show up to booked appts, lol. Not exactly a guarantee, well, nothing is really, so just work out a policy/process that reduces time wasters is the best thing. For the truly dangerous, in my opinion, many of them have no problem providing all the details (outside of sp refererences) requested.