pjrd 324 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 i agree with Scott. i had no idea that calling someone hun or baby was offensive but if you call me sunshine one more time I`ll scream Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 All this means is to be one cut above the rest you just need to address the individual by their name, be it for a hobbiest or a SP. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123366 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 like Cat said, once you have establishes a rapport someone it's different...it's just when you don't know them it's just odd...for example just last night someone texted me.." hey Hun, whats your price?" He could be talking to anyone...i know clients like to feel special but so do we..out of common courtesy i just like to be called by my name...then after you know me you can call me anything you wish..i guess at this point you might want to call me bitch...lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted November 26, 2009 All this means is to be one cut above the rest you just need to address the individual by their name, be it for a hobbiest or a SP. I can only speak from my own perspective as a hobbiest. When I address the ladies I always use their name until we have established rapport or met. If they start referring to me as hun or sweetie sometimes I will return the usage, but usually I still use their "name" However I have also been with SP's that I consider to be a cut above who have always referred to me as hun or sweetie. It just doesen't bother me. One of the best experiences I ever had was with an SP who referred to me throughout the session as "baby" (as in "oh baby yeah that's good") yet I consider her to be "a cut above" because she went all out to make me feel good. If I had told her please use my name I'm sure she would have. If I told her to call me Belzak King of the Molemen she probably would have done that too. I understand where the ladies are coming from and Emma makes a good point that unless she is addressed by name she's not even sure if the message is intended for her. I'm just speaking for myself when I say these terms don't bother me, and in my mind they're not comparable to something as pejorative as "bitch". In fact I honestly think when SP's and most clients use the term Hun or Sweetie they are trying to be friendly, not disrespectful. They're offering a term of endearment (perhaps overly friendly) but offered in a well intentioned spirit, just as I'm sure the same individuals would smile in person, or use a friendly voice on the phone. One may even suppose that in the minds of potential clients they're seeking to get a bit of a headstart (bad form I guess) on the experience by using an intimate term up front yet also trying to add some warmth to what is in the end a business transaction. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted November 26, 2009 I don't like being called hun, sweetie, baby or whatever, nor do I ever refer to an SP other than her name be it real or working. I had a recent encounter and she constantly referred to me as "baby" this or "baby" that...I'm in my 60s and I'm nobody's "baby." Thanks for putting up this thread Emma. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 On the flipside, I get weirded out when someone calls me by name in the throes of passion. Even with a girlfriend. One time I was with a sp and it was our 4th or 5th meeting. We were chatting and she wanted to put my ph# in her phone so we could get together socially another time. So she starts entering the info and pauses, saying to me, 'Oh my god, please don't hate me but....' To which I responded with a giggle, 'You don't remember my name, do you?' I introduced myself the first time we met, but that was the only time my name was mentioned. Anyways, we went upstairs and started playing and at one point she was moaning when out came my name. Freaked me right the fuck out, I don't what it is but I HATE that...call me baby or sweetie, please! But that's just me, everyone's different and I think it's the same for casual intros and conversation. Different strokes.... Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 One SP in particular I can think of would moan and yell "Oh Capitalman!!" and I'm telling you, it's not good!! I don't mind being called "Bitch" though, that's kinda kinky in a weird way... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted November 26, 2009 I don't mind being called "Bitch" though, that's kinda kinky in a weird way... With a nice slap on my perfect bum... Nicknames should be given only in intimacy, though... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BownChickaBown 4829 Report post Posted November 27, 2009 Yes me ducky I believe that's from Nfld. Is it commonly used in CB too? (I say it all the time up here/everywhere.) In places around the World, such use of terms instead of exact names is somewhat the norm (albeit by an aging demographic if I do say so myself), and is seen as a sign of respect to be comfortable enough as a culture to address other community members this friendly-meaning way. (Typically, in smaller/medium-sized, close-knit communities from what I've experienced.) To say its the calling-sign of a stalker makes me LMAO. Really thou. As an example, I'm too lazy to squish a bug outside arms-reach (where it can keep being free), let alone get-up and go stalk it. :S I am too lazy to even stalk celery at the grocery store 3 blocks away when I can order-out and have supper delivered to me every night. ...but I digress. I agree thou, the norm for the culture in other parts of Canada and the World is largely the opposite, for whatever reasons. Perspective is relatively subjective, and social norms evolve geo-specifically and varies from person to person. Variety is the spice of life. :) (Having all the same looking ladies in the World would be boring - No?) On-going amalgamation of the Canadian Mosaic, and the Global Commonwealth as a whole, is now inter-mixing all kinds of cultural idiosyncrasies. 'tis is life. (Sidebar: IMHO, there are at least 3 Guarantees in life: Death, Taxes and Change - of which, Globalization combines all 3) Rather than curse such things, I find it easier to educate others to the specifics of my irk (great thread Emma!), and explain to them how I would find such behaviour offensive. If they rudely persist, then one would know that person is a jerk. If they apologize and don't do it again, then it was just a simple difference in communications (shthpns). Generally in Australia, if one gets teased hard and joked about personally, it's a sign of liking you, respecting you. If one is spoken to prim-and-proper, it's a sign of not being liked. (I have personal experience with this, after continually being politely asked if I were American by the locals, of which I retorted: I am proud to say I am. Canadian. :) (Yes, I lost my Newfie accent decades ago.) ...after which the Aussies would mostly say: No way, I love Canadians - wanna beer? *then turn to their buddy* and say something like: This a*hole is from Canada! (This all without even asking my name yet!) I found it endearing - felt like home. While I have been called a lot of things, I still only reply with the classic: Just don't call me late for supper! :P [PS: Now, what about those jerks who don't use turn-signals???] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerican 657 Report post Posted November 27, 2009 Emma I always thought your name was 'Don't stop!!' I know better now!:-D In all seriousness I completely agree when dealing with people you need to use their names, that is why I like SP's who use actual names. When it is an acronym or a term it is hard to say 'Hi there XXX'. So as a tip: A screen name or saying as your CERB handle is great, but help us be a little more personal by also having a mainstream name (not your real one obviously). I have never been a pet name person, I have been known to call someone 'my lovely x' in the past but I am big on showing respect by starting with a salutation and ending with my name in farewell. Something my parents hammered into me. Having said that I don't really mind being called anything personally as long as it seems sincere and not just a forgetful and throw away term...just like GFE aspects can seem sincere or mechanical, how you call someone sweetie or Hun can feel fake or sincere. My 2 cents! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted November 27, 2009 I could do that for you....... With a nice slap on my perfect bum... Nicknames should be given only in intimacy, though... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted November 27, 2009 I had a guy visit me once with a really thick newfie accent. He kept saying "Yes, my love." I figured it was a Newfie thing but other than that I don't like being called honey, dear, sweetie, sweetheart, Alexis or Alie. I've met a few guys and they always seem to screw up my name. lol. I don't call clients hun or sweetheart either. Calling people those names is fake imo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misterme 110 Report post Posted November 27, 2009 I am probably late to this thread. If I don't know her real name when I am writing a PM or something, I usually say 'Hi [user name].' I figure that's the safest alternative. It's not a cop out (I don't think) because at least I'm calling her something that she has more or less asked to be called. As for me having a name, I'm usually better with her not using my name. It feels weird to have a girl call my name. But that's just me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Meadows 1676 Report post Posted November 28, 2009 Yikes! I call everyone "sweety" I had no idea it bothered anyone! I guess I'm just trying to up the intimacy and put people at ease since we go from strangers to 'close friends' very quickly. I feel silly saying the name the men use especially since 90% of guys use a fake name. (usually John! haha) I will check myself and try to break this habbit! Thanks for the tip! BTW I don't mind being called 'pet names' as long as it's not in a patronizing way. Just don't call me Ma'am! (That's my mom, not me!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted November 28, 2009 Yikes! I call everyone "sweety" I had no idea it bothered anyone! I guess I'm just trying to up the intimacy and put people at ease since we go from strangers to 'close friends' very quickly. I feel silly saying the name the men use especially since 90% of guys use a fake name. (usually John! haha) I will check myself and try to break this habbit! Thanks for the tip!BTW I don't mind being called 'pet names' as long as it's not in a patronizing way. Just don't call me Ma'am! (That's my mom, not me!) You can call me sweety annytime Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whatsup 11893 Report post Posted November 28, 2009 Yikes! I call everyone "sweety" I had no idea it bothered anyone! I guess I'm just trying to up the intimacy and put people at ease since we go from strangers to 'close friends' very quickly. I feel silly saying the name the men use especially since 90% of guys use a fake name. (usually John! haha) I will check myself and try to break this habbit! Thanks for the tip!BTW I don't mind being called 'pet names' as long as it's not in a patronizing way. Just don't call me Ma'am! (That's my mom, not me!) Hun, LOL you can call me sweety or anything else you would like. I am sure it would be my pleasure. :mrgreen: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *o****ea****t Report post Posted November 28, 2009 it may have been mentioned earlier in this thread. if it was & i missed it i'm sorry for repeating. is saying "you are a sweetheart" considered the same thing as calling someone "sweetheart"? to me there is a difference, maybe its subtle, maybe it isn't. i don't want to be saying it if it offends cause it certainly isn't meant to. for the most part i think addressing someone by a nickname is innocent and i would imagine most can weed out someone who is being insincere & cut off contact if we're bothered. i also agree that using a nickname like this can be considered more personal & should be used after some sort of rapport has been established. i also know there are people who call everybody sweetie, dear or honey. it is often heard throughout the valley. makes me feel good if i've ordered breakfast & the waitress asks "how is everything sweetie". this is just how they were raised & who they are. you gotta luv the valley :D no harm is meant. the world could use more people like this. i can relate to the reasons for this post cause i hate it when people call me bud, buddy or pal. if you don't know me then we are not buddies & if you do know me then you know my name so use it. what about addressing someone as an abbreviation of their user name in an initial contact. ex. jessicarabbitt69 (i checked to make sure i wasn't using anyones name) >> hey jess, hi j >> you get my drift. is this acceptable or should it be more formal until we have exchanged a few pms? speaking for myself by addressing someone informally it could help ease the nerves a wee bit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted November 28, 2009 Yikes! I call everyone "sweety" I had no idea it bothered anyone! I guess I'm just trying to up the intimacy and put people at ease since we go from strangers to 'close friends' very quickly. I feel silly saying the name the men use especially since 90% of guys use a fake name. (usually John! haha) I will check myself and try to break this habbit! Thanks for the tip!BTW I don't mind being called 'pet names' as long as it's not in a patronizing way. Just don't call me Ma'am! (That's my mom, not me!) Dido, does not bother me through a pm...A few times at actual appointments I always thought my name was "hard" or "harder" ...I would walk in say hello, (in actual fact no names exchanged)....just saying something like "so nice to finally to meet you", she say "oh yes I feel the same way, it always so hard to get a hold of you babe" the next thing in the bedroom she screaming at you "hard" "Oh ya babbbbbyyyyyy harder" So you can call me hard, harder,Pete, sweetie, babe...really I'm okay with it8-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AttilaTheHun 356 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 Hey I thought I was the only Hun here....May the real Hun stand up ATH 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 it may have been mentioned earlier in this thread. if it was & i missed it i'm sorry for repeating. is saying "you are a sweetheart" considered the same thing as calling someone "sweetheart"? I don't think so... Being told that we are sweetheart is related to what we do... It shows appreciation, and it did'nt slipped out of your mouth. Calling somebody Sweetheart is often a reflex for a lot of people. Why can't you think about my name? Eventhough you don't remember it, tell me... It happened before that I've been called Lexis after the session. It was half of an offense, since it was'nt a pet name that you give to anybody. Did'nt say anything, but when he called me back, I've told him my name was Sabrina... Never happened afterwards... If you can't remember my name, I can understand that you've seen a lot of ads, featuring different names. Solution: BE HONEST AND TELL ME... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 its funny, i was thinking about two situations that might make this more clear for guys...I was having a convo with a girlfriend about this subject and she said something that kinda brought it to light for me: its like when you're walking down the street looking good on your way out and a guy you've never met turns his head and says "hey sweetheart!" or "hey baby"....the likliness that you are going to stop and talk to that guy is probably zero, you may cringe and keep walking...even if hes a really good-looking guy. maybe its a pride thing but in the end, you dont know them. in the same situation and you walked by a guy you knew and the called out "hey sweetheart!" it might make you giggle and you'd walk right up to them and start chatting if it was appropriate. A name would have always been better in any situation but I think the lesson is, if you dont know her, dont use terms of endearment.....or you might give off a similar reaction to the random guy on the street. hope that made sense, it was an interesting angle so I just thought I would share :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ford1976 1074 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 A Newfoundland friend of mine calls all women "my love" and all guys "my son", it doesn't matter who they are. I had a guy visit me once with a really thick newfie accent. He kept saying "Yes, my love." I figured it was a Newfie thing but other than that I don't like being called honey, dear, sweetie, sweetheart, Alexis or Alie. I've met a few guys and they always seem to screw up my name. lol. I don't call clients hun or sweetheart either. Calling people those names is fake imo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214120 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 I have noticed in most spanish speaking country if you greet or thank the waitress with the words my "my heart" in the sentence, you will get much greater services then if you don't. For example "Gracias el corazon" wich means "Thank you my heart" which no one uses this around here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apex2006 1071 Report post Posted November 30, 2009 its funny, i was thinking about two situations that might make this more clear for guys...I was having a convo with a girlfriend about this subject and she said something that kinda brought it to light for me: its like when you're walking down the street looking good on your way out and a guy you've never met turns his head and says "hey sweetheart!" or "hey baby"....the likliness that you are going to stop and talk to that guy is probably zero, you may cringe and keep walking...even if hes a really good-looking guy. maybe its a pride thing but in the end, you dont know them. in the same situation and you walked by a guy you knew and the called out "hey sweetheart!" it might make you giggle and you'd walk right up to them and start chatting if it was appropriate. A name would have always been better in any situation but I think the lesson is, if you dont know her, dont use terms of endearment.....or you might give off a similar reaction to the random guy on the street. hope that made sense, it was an interesting angle so I just thought I would share :-) So the famous construction worker sitting having lunch and yells out ?Hey Hun! Looking good!? doesn?t work! So that?s what I was doing wrong! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C****** K***e Report post Posted December 1, 2009 I prefer to use names, even if they aren't real. It adds a tangible and, imo, personal aspect to it. My own pet peeve is when guys send a pm but make absolutely no mention of a name. (Usually the ones that have no discernible name in their Username.) I mean, I don't want to address a message to kdsogj27u. That sounds stupid. Hell, you can say John Smith, if you want, but not "canadianmachotractorlover". *if either of those are anyone's username, I apologize, and haven't had any contact with you anyhow!* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
