Approaching a lady about a "retainer"

[Wolf Knight 29667]

I'm looking for some genuine opinions from gents and ladies as to the best way to approach and ask a lady if she'd be willing to to agree to a "retainer".

 

So we all know that negotiating rates is VERY bad. However, I have a bit of a quandary. I don't want to be seen as negotiating or haggling but I've been thinking that perhaps I might want to approach a lady about placing her on a retainer. I've met her many times, I like her, I trust her, and I want to continue seeing her for the foreseeable future on a regular basis.

 

So here's where my thoughts are; In essence it would be that I would pay the lady upfront at the beginning of the month a predetermined fixed amount representing compensation for one date per week (four dates per month) at a pre-scheduled date and time. (It's easier for me to schedule my life rather than just fly by the seat of my pants, the rest of my life is scheduled a month in advance plus I always like to play from 12 to 2 in the day). Because I am willing to pay upfront for all dates for the month I'm thinking that it would be nice if I could receive some additional benefit like receiving 1.5 hours for the same rate as 1 hour.

 

Now as you can see in this scenario lies the risk that I might be seen as trying to negotiate rather than develop a mutually beneficial arrangement. I'd like to explore this, but if the risk is that the lady takes offense to this proposition and blacklists me I don't want to bring it up.

 

So I'd appreciate some honest opinions from those who might have some experience in this area and if your honest opinion is that I'm "out to lunch" then I want to hear that too. Bottom line I don't want to mess up a good thing, just maybe make it better.

 

Thanks

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

My dear, I am sure any lady would be pleased about this:) Especially with you, as you are a proven Gentlemen. I really do not think she would look at you as a haggler at all.

 

A retainer benefits both, whereas she knows it is a guaranteed donation per month, it can alleviate some of her concerns.

I do not think an extra 30 mins should matter, personally. I have many regular clients that I give extra time to, cause I feel they are worth the extra effort as they visit every week.

I always say, I can always barder on more time for my VIP, not a drop in the rate though.

 

It is the client you never met or see once a year, and when they ask for discount I have to ask "why do you feel you are so special? I only seen you 2 times! Meanwhile, my clients that are ere every week for years are the deserving of extra effort" These are the ones that do not get the extra benefits form me.

 

I say approach her with it, let her think on it and go from there. :)

[roamingguy 300291]

My take on this. Approach the lady you would like to see about a retainer relationship. Tell her what you would like (ie once a week for two hours paid up front at the beginning of the month)

She would tell you what the donation would be for such an arrangement and you can both set up your weekly dates

Don't suggest any rates. She'll tell you her rate for a retainer type relationship. And since you know one another, you trust her and I assume by extension she trusts you, it should be something you can discuss openly. You may even wish to have an encounter with her and during the encounter discuss such an arrangement in person.

My two cents

RG

[amber76x 241]

I have this kind of agreement with a favored client, When it is on a regular basis that you see her ...this is not haggling to me.

Good luck

[CristyCurves 169032]

If this is a lady you've seen numerous times she'd know you and know that you are not the type to want to take advantage of anyone, especially financially. I think to many worry about how to say what they want the right way, I say just ask your way, say what you feel! If she is offended then she's to thin skinned and particular, imo:) This isn't negotiating anyway, negotiating would be asking her to take a reduced amount for her services. I think any lady should be flattered to have a gentleman ask her for an ongoing relationship. Discussing when to pay, although not common place, perhaps, is just part of setting up that arrangement. :) Now use your balls, you've got a big set ;) and ask:)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

IMHO this is in no way haggling. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement!

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

IMHO this is in no way haggling. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement!

 

I agree! It's all about it being "mutually beneficial". :) Haggling is just when one side gets more without giving anything back. In this agreement, both people come out winning.

 

I really like this idea, and have entered into agreements like this before and they worked out quite well. I continue to welcome such arrangements that will make us both happy as provider and client. :) Ongoing relationships can lead to some very fun and intimate times.

 

Every lady is entitled to operate however they please, but IMO, this in this line of work, this is a good way to do business, and hopefully she will not feel offended. I personally think the terms you mentioned are fair, but maybe she will have something else in mind.

[fortunateone 156618]

My take on this. Approach the lady you would like to see about a retainer relationship. Tell her what you would like (ie once a week for two hours paid up front at the beginning of the month)

She would tell you what the donation would be for such an arrangement and you can both set up your weekly dates

Don't suggest any rates. She'll tell you her rate for a retainer type relationship. And since you know one another, you trust her and I assume by extension she trusts you, it should be something you can discuss openly. You may even wish to have an encounter with her and during the encounter discuss such an arrangement in person.

My two cents

RG

 

 

This is the way i suggest you approach it. if someone came to me and asked me to give 90 minutes for the price of 60 on not just one but all of the appointments even prepaid, I would not be interested. I have always had the opinion that being regular meant that the person agrees with and is content with my rate as is.

 

And in exchange, when/if my rates were to increase, they would not be increased for the long time regular client. :)

 

My friend however does a buy 5 get one free approach. Prepay for 5 sessions, and the 6th is free. That also would not be getting 1.5 for the price of one, but you can see that there is still a benefit to the prepayment 'on account'.

[Frank7 3939]

I've seen one lady offer this to her regular clients. Pay once upfront for the month, she gets to know well in advance when to reserve a spot for you. And she does offer some kind of discount. (a little bit of free-time i think) Also, most ladies do offer a discount the more you book. (the first hh or hour is almost always costier then the second one or "overnight" package)

 

Roamingguy's way seem to be the best and the kind of way i used when i wasn't sure if the lady i was seeing changed her rates over the years. Just tell her what amound of time and how often you'd like, then ask what would be the rate for that.

[LDBF123 675]

I have to admit I'm a little surprised by the overwhelming response that this would be welcomed and not a negative. I get the idea that this provides the woman a level of predictability and certainty so thats a good thing but the idea of getting some perks like extended sessions etc did feel like it would be negotiating or haggling to get a deal. I guess its not that different than some spas that allow you to purchase a set of door fees in advance and give u one free. I guess it just feels different when its with an individual versus with a spa but really isn't that different.

 

seems like a thumbs up from this group :)

[Guest D***el B***e]

I think this is a fantastic deal, both for you and the provider. Any girl would be crazy to refuse a stable source of income with a safe and reputable customer.

 

Yup, I think I'm gonna work myself a lil deal like that too!

[Guest S****r]

I welcome these kind of arrangements, too. You guys probably have no idea how stressful the unpredictability of income is to us girls. Almost brings a girl to tears some times!

 

I can usually afford to "give away" some time, but I can seldom afford to give away any money.

[FunValerie 8573]

Good point about giving away some time but not giving away any money.

 

 

I welcome these kind of arrangements, too. You guys probably have no idea how stressful the unpredictability of income is to us girls. Almost brings a girl to tears some times!

 

I can usually afford to "give away" some time, but I can seldom afford to give away any money.

[Ice4fun 78396]

I think it is a very hard thing to determine in advance how a particular lady might react. 

 

Certainly the idea of a retainer and asking a lady what such an arrangement might cost is not haggling from my perspective so I like Roamingguy's approach but I would be cautious with suggesting a reduced rate without a good feeling of how the lady might react. 

 

If you have been seeing this lady regularly ie weekly, then I think you would be in the best position to have a good insight into how she will react.  Given the other SP posts on this thread it may be a welcome gesture that she will appreciate.

 

The fact that you are asking might Indicate you think she might not like the idea..... or are you possibly throwing it out here in the hope she reads it and expresses an opinion (lol very sneaky of you).

 

For me personally based only on my experience seeing a lady regularly has its own inherent benefits that have nothing to do with the rate that I pay. When I start seeing a lady I accept that the rate is reasonable for the experience she will provide me so it would never cross my mind to look for a better rate or a volume discount if I wanted more of the Amazing ladies time. For me... this would be disrespectful to the lady (lol shows what I know given the SP responses in this thread).

 

My understanding of a retainer is that you pay an amount in advance to ensure the availability of a service provider (lawyer, Accountant, courtesan) on a consistent basis regardless of whether the service is actually used during the period.  It is not a discounted hourly rate. 

 

For me your idea is more a request for a volume discount which there is nothing wrong with if both parties see it as beneficial to them. The seller hopes to make more money by encouraging a higher level of purchases and by getting the money up front while the buyer hope to achieve a reduced unit cost because of their volume purchase.

 

Good Luck with it either way I hope you and the lady in question find an arrangement that works for both of you... after all if you and her are happy that is really all that matters.

 

Just my Opinion

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Thanks everyone for your contribution to the thread. Although this is something that I personally have a vested interest in I think that it's also something that has crossed the minds of other on occasion so the sharing of opinions is important.

 

As harsh as it may seem an aspect that many of us clients prefer to forget is that at its essence we are engaged in a "business" relationship with "professional" companion. As a business relationship this type of thing should be quite simple to sort out, however as we all know when sex and intimacy enter into the equation, emotion also becomes a factor and the waters get muddied.

 

To make this arrangement a "mutually beneficial" one, both sides would need to receive "benefit". The lady receives the convenience and peace of mind of knowing that a portion of her income for the month is guaranteed by a good client. To make the arrangement beneficial to the client obviously he would have to also receive something beyond the normal arrangements for everyone else.

 

As Frank7 pointed out many (not all) companions do offer a reduced hourly rate as the number of hours of an appointment increase so the concept that more "guaranteed" paid hours has a strong value for a companion is not a foreign one.

 

Definitely, provides some interesting thoughts. Again thanks for the contributions.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

My two cents...

 

If you have already been seeing her regularly and paying full price, why would she want to take less from you for more work/time for her? Regular income is lovely. But this entire concept can be a VERY slippery slope.

 

You suggesting the "discount" is insulting. I agree with RG in the sense that you could approach this woman and suggest that you'd like to pay an amount monthly for set weekly times. But honestly that removes any "flexibility" for her, and in busy times, she may lose business. It cannot be up to you to define the rules. This is HER business, and if she wants to offer a reduced rate for such an arrangement, or offer more time "off the clock" so to speak, that has to be HER decision. Not yours. Remember - yes, this is a business relationship - but we are human beings - who spend A LOT of money to be part of this industry, and we are not the dollarama or a pawn shop. We aren't a bargain to be haggled over.

 

Be very careful... And be mindful that you do not put her in a position where she feels taken advantage of. I understand and appreciate your desire to want to offer her a bit of stability... But less pay from you means more pay from someone else to pay bills and put food on the table :)

 

Just my opinion!

[Athos 108589]

I think this can be easily interpreted in both the ways expressed in the above posts. As haggling and disrespectful, and as a good and beneficial arrangement for both parties.

 

Part of the issue is how often you are seeing the lady now. If you tend to see her twice a month, then maybe the guaranteed commitment to 4 times a month would be seen as beneficial and worth the trade-off in terms of the addition time she would be investing. You also need to be careful of not taking advantage of that extra time i.e. not expecting the level of service that might go with a 2 hour appointment, suddenly being squeezed into the 90 minutes.

 

There is lots to discuss, so i would suggest having an open and frank discussion. You could preface that discussion by saying that you respect her decision either way, and that regardless of the outcome you'll still want to book with her. Take that pressure out of the equation. If you propose this and your continued patronage is seen as a bargaining chip (i.e. if we can't come to an agreement I may have to stop seeing you) then it would, it seems to me quickly become a bad situation.

 

I've had arrangements like this in the past. And if approached properly, can be very beneficial to both parties. But it does need to be approached from positions of trust and respect. When I've had these arrangements though, the effort was to ensure that, while there was a certain "retainer", that as close as possible market rates for services were respected. where I have had a "special rate" structure, it was sometimes on much longer multi-hour dates, with shorter dates still at the usual rate.

 

To be totally honest, though, I'd probably just pre-book the 4 appointments, and pay each time. There are lots of things that can go wrong with this. She gets sick, or has an emergency and isn't available. You can't make it because something comes up and you expect a new time, but she can't fit you in, but also feels she held time for you so is reluctant to now forego other clients in order for you to get your time. Even though you prepaid, if you reschedule to another time she is potentially losing income. These sorts of things can make make for bad feelings.

 

Porthos

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I have/had this arrangement with some regular in the past. It give me x amount at one shot, then receive a discount/or longer time when they see me. I only do so to people that see me on a regular base in Toronto (or was in Ottawa) and not when I tour different cities...especially since I don't tour constantly.

Nor do I except said regular to see me x times a month for that amount because I am student and I tour. I cannot guarantee that at least one wednesday a month I will be in town (for example if that's their day)

 

 

But...as a client bringing a retainer idea in the mix may be a bit tricky. I was always the one who brought it first since it was more convinent for me.

For now you could be enjoying Jane Doe at 300/hr but how is it in 6 months? She could be "expecting" your 1500$ a month (no idea who she is, how much her rates his and etc) but as an SP when you realize that you are relying on a fix incoming for someone...can be hard. You can stop tomorrow. or in 3 years.

 

Just my random 2 cents( which is now worth...zero derp)

[blue_eyes56 2010]

I've done this type of thing successfully with a few women in the past. The "negotiating" was comically different in each case, but we always managed to work out something everyone was happy with.

 

I'm happy to see women on a session-by-session basis at their standard rate or, for someone special, make a bigger $commitment in exchange for extra time or sessions. The women are always free to choose what suites them best. This is common in many/most/all industries.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I have had one arrangement like this. It quickly became one sided (not my side) and ended poorly. Just be careful.

[Guest k *** t***n]

I know im new here but I honestly think a Lady should be flattered that you would want to have this kind of long lasting play time with her.

 

;) Take a chance if it goes wrongly then I cant see her never talking to you again. Epecially since what your asking (1.5 for price of 1) is extremely fair.

 

Best of luck hun!

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Again, great insight from different perspectives. As I anticipated there's lots of different views and positions on this and I'm glad I put it out there for discussion. Although there can be mutual positives from this scenario, the last thing I would want is to be thought of as haggling. Definitely need to tread softly around this one.

 

Thanks everyone.

[LeeRichards 177238]

My deep thoughts on retainers might be I suppose......

 

I love DATY :Cunning:..... and I also like to live dangerously ;)

 

 

 

oops

 

Hi :oops:

 

Jack

[Wolf Knight 29667]

My deep thoughts on retainers might be I suppose......

 

I love DATY :Cunning:..... and I also like

 

 

oops

 

Hi :oops:

 

Jack

 

 

Lol.....no prob on the hijack.....I love to laugh.

 

cheers

[Ice4fun 78396]

I know im new here but I honestly think a Lady should be flattered that you would want to have this kind of long lasting play time with her.

 

;) Take a chance if it goes wrongly then I cant see her never talking to you again. Epecially since what your asking (1.5 for price of 1) is extremely fair.

 

Best of luck hun!

 

I may be wrong.... God knows I have been in the past, but I think the benefits for the client of a regular ongoing relationship with a service provider tends to just naturally happen, it not as calculated as a 1.5 for 1 lol more a relaxed atmosphere and a real connection with the lady... if she wants to run over the time.... or invite you to stay longer wonderful... i know this is a business arrangement but geez I don't want it to feel like one.

 

Just my opinion