The term 'hobbyist'

[Guest Ou**or**n]

There is a very interesting thread going on now about the term 'John' and how us guys here feel about being called that in the media. In that thread a few members mentioned how they feel about the term 'hobbyist'. I thought I discussion of this term warranted its own thread.

 

First of all from what I can tell it supposed to be spelled 'hobbyist' instead of 'hobbiest'. Both a google search and a search of the Urban Dictionary point to the spelling 'hobbyist' being the correct one.

 

So what does this term mean to you? In terms of being called hobbyists by the media many of us find it a bit silly. However internally we do call this a hobby (even 'the' hobby) so the term hobbyist works (at least for me) when we talk amongst ourselves.

 

Personally I like the term internally because it gives me perspective on all this. Sex is intimate and can easily spawn emotions. We can also get very emotionally caught up in the ups and downs of things - services we didn't get, ladies that don't show up and so on. To me calling it a hobby gives me a perspective - its all just casual sex, meant to be fun and not our life's work, mission in life or anything like that but rather just a hobby.

 

However if used externally by the media I could see it taking a negative connotation. In a hobby we 'collect' things, they are 'objects'. I could see this term being picked up by the various fem-nazi's as proof that we simply objectify the ladies we see (which couldn't be further from the truth).

 

What about the rest of you guys and ladies -what does this term mean to you?

[wildstallion 1819]

To me the term simply means it is a enjoyable way to spend my time and money while escaping reality for a while, so I guess it is a form of stress relief that helps contribute to my over all well being, so I think that it should be funded by medicare.

[Royalfun 55448]

When I became a member of CERB, I smiled when I had to answer to the question: "Are you a Service Provider or a Hobbiest?" What made me smiled was the politically correctness of the terms used and the reality underneath.

Then after a few weeks on the board, looking at many profiles of SP and of the other members and reading many posts, I found that being at CERB was more than a tool to find the right sp for me, it?s also being part of a network, a community that shares informations, their thoughts, experiences, either good or bad, their support to others, and also their pleasures( hum...8)) and joy they experienced.

 

Yes, for sure, I am here to find sex, good sex, but the safe one hopefully, and with the right SP or MP, but on top, I am discovering that being here becomes a real hobby, where I have a good time and express and share the good things in life and find people that have that common interest.

 

So the word "hobbiest" appears to be the right word, and its special spelling shows what CERB is all about. I am still a newbie here, but the more and more I come back to the board, the more and more I feel it's a place for me.

[MightyPen 67414]

Hey, interesting topic -- especially because trying to sort out the meaning of a word requires delving into ourselves. Our answers will reflect how we feel individually about the idea of paid companionship, and what it means to be on the consumer end.

 

For myself: of the two terms, I find "John" is passive, limited, and subtly judgmental. The word only signifies an anonymous guy paying for sex. Now, that part is accurate in a limited way, but the term ignores our active engagement with another human being, and the generic name "John" suggests a built-in need for anonymity and therefore shame. Y'know, sometimes that's all true; but not for me. "John"? No thanks.

 

"Hobbyist" gets a bit better. I think it manages to suggest that we're bringing a little more to the table -- an active interest, something we spend some time on, that we care about, and that we choose to do as a kind of self-expression. The only problem here is, just like the OP, I think the term treats the providers as impersonal or just casual objects with whom we indulge our hobby. And while I'm sure that describes the breezy, casual fun and indulgence of some genuinely fun encounters, it misses the deeper meaning that sessions can have. Sometimes, for some folks, there's more going on than a casual dalliance with a hobby.

 

Personally, I like the term "client", because that establishes in a single word that there are two active sides to the interaction, the consumer and the provider, and it instantly treats the provider with some respect. It suggests there's genuine expertise worth paying for on the provider's part, and also a business-like responsibility for both parties to treat the interaction like grown-ups. And since I personally think that the best providers are a kind of intimate therapist, it does a good job of encapsulating the nature of the relationship between the two players. A conventional therapist isn't actually your personal friend, but that doesn't mean they're not honestly engaged in helping you explore parts of yourself and guiding your journey with expertise and care. Likewise, a great service provider isn't your lover, but she can still guide you, open doors, and help you to satisfy deep human needs in ways you aren't otherwise able to.

 

And speaking now only for myself, I think that, as with a conventional therapist, the relationship with the provider can't be an end in itself. Hopefully we clients can take what we learn and experience with a provider, build it into ourselves, and carry it with us into other parts of our lives, other relationships, and engage our interests with real-life lovers. We can't always succeed at that in our imperfect lives, but I think it's a healthy thing to strive for.

 

Yup. "Client" works best for me.

[etasman2000 15994]

I prefer hobbiest.

 

The definition of hobby found in wikipedia states:

 

A hobby is an activity or interest that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, often in one's spare time.

 

I have other hobbies as well and I find the same behaviours apply: research, community participation and engaging in the hobby itself. The difference being this hobby tends to be more physical :-D and actually involves interacting with the opposite sex (for the most part!) :shock:

 

I'm equally comfortable using the term punter especially in the UK, besides maybe I do bet on the races ;-)

[whatsup 11893]

I like the term "Hobbyist" and really what better hobby could there be.

 

One gets a little :cooter: then :69: followed by :motion: and:bddog: .

 

I sure know that I leave with a big :mrgreen: and I want to thank the providers for providing their companionship, if even for a brief fleeting moment of glorious time. I :bowdown: to you.

 

 

 

"Client" sounds to much like a business transaction. I just want a hobby that is personally enjoyable.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

These terms inevitably have different connotations for different people. I myself have no problem with the term "John". It is, at least, a convenient, relatively specific term, meaning, by common understanding, "client of an escort", or, if you will, "gentleman client of an escort". Because "John" is a short one-word term, it is more convenient than these other two more cumbersome phrases.

 

On the other hand -- and this may just be my own quirky take on the word "hobbyist" -- not all clients of escorts are really hobbyists, given all the connotations of the term "hobby". A "hobby" is "a favourite or specialized pursuit or interest", so when I think of a "hobbyist" in the world of escorts, I always think of it as meaning someone whose "favourite or specialized pursuit or interest" is specifically Being the Client of Escorts. I'd guess that most "Johns" or "clients of escorts" are not "hobbyists" in the way I think of the term "hobbyist".

 

Who are the typical clients of an escort? Following are a number of categories into which clients might be said to fall (not necessarily mutually exclusive):

One-timers or Special-Occasion Celebrants

Clients who are dissatisfied with their home sex life

The Marginalized

The Virgin

The Fetishist

Business travellers

The Lonely

(sadly) The Psychopath

aaand ... last but not necesaarily least ... the Hobbyists.

By my way of thinking, few of these could be said to have a specialized interest in Escorts in the way I think of the term "hobby". Most of these client-types (if you will) just want to have some sex, either of a specific type, or due to access issues elsewhere. Their interest is mostly just sex per se, not the exploration and savouring of the World of Escorts.

 

I'm not happy that I've made this distinction as clearly as I wanted to, so let me blather on a bit more about the idea of "hobby". I want to use the example of people who are clients of restaurants (and no I am NOT comparing escorts with restaurants). Is everyone who goes to fine restaurants a restaurant "hobbyist" in the sense of being a gourmet or gastronomist? No they are not. Some go out to celebrate a special occasion. Some go to enjoy one specialized dish that they can't get anywhere else. Business travelers frequent restaurants, as do people who are too busy or lazy or unskilled to cook enjoyable nutritious meals for themselves. Some people go to a restaurant because they have friends who own it or work in it. Sadly, I swear that some people go to restaurants just so they can abuse the wait-staff. Only a relatively small portion of the clientelle of fine restaurants are "hobbyist" gastronomes who cultivate their food tastes and diligently pursue the accumulation of specialized experience of a wide range of fine dining, the systematic exploration of new foods, and repeated enjoyment of past successful gastronomic discoveries. Most people go to restaurants primarily to fill their stomachs in a pleasant manner -- they are not fine-dining "hobbyists".

 

So, to (finally) make a long story short: By my (perhaps quirky) way of thinking, "hobbyist" and "client of an escort" are by no means synonymous terms. Yes, a hobbyist is a client -- but many clients are not hobbyists.

　

[mod 135639]

I need to change my spelling of Hobbyist. LOL...

[Guest f***2f***]

Personally I hate labels. they do not tell the full story or the complexity of the situation.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

To follow up on WIT's excellent post...

 

Very interesting analogy between eating at restaurants and being a gastronome. It certainly broadened my thinking on this issue. I have been involved in this board so long I forgot that casual clients of escorts existed :) I definitely would consider myself a hobbyist in your definition of the term.

 

Now if they only legalize brothels I can see a new career for myself - a sommelier. 'A yes sir, I can personally recommend one of our excellent spinners... we have an excellent 1990 Angel who's has..."

 

;)

[West 220]

I like the term hobbyist because I'm not a professional and I don't charge the ladies for my services. ;)

[buggernot 588]

Now if they only legalize brothels I can see a new career for myself - a sommelier. 'A yes sir, I can personally recommend one of our excellent spinners... we have an excellent 1990 Angel who's has..."

;)

 

Make sure you stay away from the majority of the 92's and anything after though, they need a little bit more time to breathe...

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Make sure you stay away from the majority of the 92's and anything after though, they need a little bit more time to breathe...

 

We will sell no wine before its time.

[Parker 19761]

I'm wondering what the rest of the ladies think here...

 

I personally don't care for the term "hobbyist"...

I'm not sure why...

Maybe it's because I think of it more of a service than a hobby... /shrug

 

 

There is a very interesting thread going on now about the term 'John' and how us guys here feel about being called that in the media. In that thread a few members mentioned how they feel about the term 'hobbyist'. I thought I discussion of this term warranted its own thread.

 

First of all from what I can tell it supposed to be spelled 'hobbyist' instead of 'hobbiest'. Both a google search and a search of the Urban Dictionary point to the spelling 'hobbyist' being the correct one.

 

So what does this term mean to you? In terms of being called hobbyists by the media many of us find it a bit silly. However internally we do call this a hobby (even 'the' hobby) so the term hobbyist works (at least for me) when we talk amongst ourselves.

 

Personally I like the term internally because it gives me perspective on all this. Sex is intimate and can easily spawn emotions. We can also get very emotionally caught up in the ups and downs of things - services we didn't get, ladies that don't show up and so on. To me calling it a hobby gives me a perspective - its all just casual sex, meant to be fun and not our life's work, mission in life or anything like that but rather just a hobby.

 

However if used externally by the media I could see it taking a negative connotation. In a hobby we 'collect' things, they are 'objects'. I could see this term being picked up by the various fem-nazi's as proof that we simply objectify the ladies we see (which couldn't be further from the truth).

 

What about the rest of you guys and ladies -what does this term mean to you?

[capitalman 3861]

And complex the situations can definitely become! It's more than a hobby for me, it's therapy.

 

I'd prefer to be called a therapy seeker.

 

Personally I hate labels. they do not tell the full story or the complexity of the situation.

[buggernot 588]

I personally don't care for the term "hobbyist"...

I'm not sure why.../shrug

 

Besides my personal feeling that the term is uninventive and generic - given that a hobby could be a billion other things - I also find there's an underlying objectification to it. Most hobbies revolve around inanimate objects or solo pursuits, neither of which are fitting to describe sex or social activity.

 

Granted, many hobbies bring people together as we are drawn to others with common interests, but the social aspect is a by-product of those hobbies. So to say your 'hobby' is paying to have sex with women, to me it puts the sp in the same realm as a stamp, model airplane, or knitting needle. That doesn't make any sense to me so I will never refer to this as a 'hobby'.

 

And yeah, I said it before...it just sounds silly too...

[Jackie James 215]

Hobbyist sounds silly to me, I prefer client. :grin:

[Newton 714]

I prefer client, too. It's a neutral label, legally, socially and emotionally.

 

The concept of hobbyist is subsumed under that of client.

Posted via Mobile Device

[omehgosh 736]

What about "associate" like the big name retailers such as Walmart and Home Depot?

 

"I'm not a hobbyist, I'm an associate" - I think it'd be good for morale.

:wink: :smile:

[Guest s******ecan****]

I've never been big on the hobby description. I also think WIT's earlier post is an excellent analysis. For me I consider it a form of recreation and I have made the decision to seek the services of SP's rather than engage in casual relationships at bars etc. In my mind that makes me a customer or client.

[pjrd 324]

maybe we should be referred to as H`s like SP`s seems fitting eh?

[Guest S**a*Q]

And complex the situations can definitely become! It's more than a hobby for me, it's therapy.

 

I'd prefer to be called a therapy seeker.

 

I like to call myself a Physical Sexual Therapist.

 

I could put that on a business card!!! :D

[Kayla 344]

I like to call myself a Physical Sexual Therapist.

 

I could put that on a business card!!! :D

That sounds cute hehe. I would like to see the card once you do that :wink:

[shaft 100]

To me the term simply means it is a enjoyable way to spend my time and money while escaping reality for a while, so I guess it is a form of stress relief that helps contribute to my over all well being, so I think that it should be funded by medicare.

 

You have hit the nail on the head my friend!

[Guest C*****tte]

I prefer client, too. It's a neutral label, legally, socially and emotionally.

 

The concept of hobbyist is subsumed under that of client.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

I agree with this this. A hobbyist is a part of a subset of clients.

 

I feel that the term hobbyist implies a certain amount of frequency in seeing escorts. There are those who do this weekly. They see a variety of ladies. They visit the message boards regularly too. Then there are those clients who only see 1 companion and only once a month or less. He does not even know about the hobbyist community. The term doesn't suit such a person.