Just caught my husband

[Guest LovingShelly]

Wow , so i just caught my husband, i found out he was going to parlours and using escorts , so i guess i'm not good enough , so i decided to join cerb and going to try new things, a lot of things i want to try and always wanted to experience that my husband didn't want to do. so now lets show him so please i can use all the help i can get on this site thank you

I am using the name Shelly

[Luscious.Tianna 12254]

Haaayyyyy Shelly

And Welcome to CERB

First off don't ever think your not good enough, you might be the most beautiful sexy and understanding woman ever and your husband could still go out and do these things, it has nothing to do with you love :)

 

CERB is full of so many different types of people and personalities...Everyone here is always so helpful and everyone has their own talent...you choose what you feel like exploring first and their will be plenty of men and or women willing to help you out!!

 

I hope you fully enjoy CERB and have so much fun exploring

xxo

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Hi Shelly,

 

Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Are you sure you're in the right frame of mind to take this step? This sounds like a recent thing and I just wouldn't want to see someone make a mistake out of haste. Sorry if I'm off base.

 

Take care,

 

Steve

[Jabba 18389]

Hi Shelly,

First of all: "Ouch" for your recent discovery. Not very pleasant. As a habitual and secretive hobbiest, maybe I'm not the best person to lend an opinion. Let me just say that sexual exploration is not exclusive to the male domain. Try not to feel too much hurt - curiosity and variety occupies a large part of a healthy sexual life. I hope you find friendship and informed companionship here on this forum.

 

On the upside, maybe it's the 1st step toward honesty in your relationship? I hope you are mutually able to discuss your desires and find a way to work them out.

[silverado17 12689]

hello Shelly welcome to cerb i hope find what your looking for there's alot of nice people here to meet

[Ice4fun 78396]

Hi Shelly... welcome to CERB you will find lots if great people here.

 

Like Jabba I am a longer term hobbiest and have kept it a secret from my wife so i am probably not a good source of advice. That said I would just add that I don't think a husband seeing an escort has anything really to do with not loving or appreciating the woman he has at home. I live my wife unbelievably and in fact I would love to share this part of my life with her but I know it's not something she would do.

[Highsexdrivebabe 11800]

Hi Shelly, I have married or attached clients that just want to sexplore and feel, don't ask me why, maybe because they respect so much their SO, they just can't ask her that would want to try such and such etc... I fully understand that for, us as a society, place barriers against certain sex fun and it's really too bad.

 

Believe me he IS NOT cheating on U per say. What I admire most about my married or attached clients is that they LOVE their SO and wouldn't want to spend a minute WITHOUT HER and I ADMIRE that. Truly do.

 

Now, U, just sexplore yourself with either a Male Sex Provider or a Female one, just let yourself go and forget about those dumb boundaries society put in front of us. Just be U or U wanting to just sexplore and U should have fun and possibly understand a little more. Don't judge him darling! His heart and mind belongs to U and ONLY U! And believe me that's the MOST important thing!

 

Now I am also wishing U Welcum on CERB chérie !

 

If U want to talk furthermore drop me a PM and honestly do not worry to much he LOVES U.

 

Barbara

xxxooo

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

Welcome!

 

I can go on and on about how people tend not to be monogamous or give you scenarios of why he decided to go outside your relationship for sexual gratification that have nothing to do with love. Instead I'll just say this - what's done is done. Try to keep positive and use it as a stepping stone to a more honest and enjoyable future for the two of you.

 

Hope you find what you're looking for. There are so many wonderful providers here for every taste and fantasy

[Hector17 9215]

Did the OP (Shelly) catch her husband in June of 2013 and just now, a year later looking at exploring things, or is the "join date" just a typo?

[MightyPen 67414]

Did the OP (Shelly) catch her husband in June of 2013 and just now, a year later looking at exploring things, or is the "join date" just a typo?

 

The date is auto-generated, so no it's not a typo.

 

Proceed with caution. It's the Internet after all.

[Guest S****r]

You might find this commentary of interest:

I stumbled upon this expression by chance not long ago in the documentary American Courtesans and found that it struck a real chord in my heart. I had never heard the expression before. I have been turning the phrase over in my mind for a while now, and find it to be an apt description of how I felt about the relationship I was in when I entered the world of escorting. The phrase was used by an escort in an interview when she said, "It's not easy to love someone that is in this industry, because you're not monogamous. You have to understand the concept of monogamy of the heart that says: the person that is at home at night with you on the couch is not the person that goes to work." I could describe it further by saying that although I am able to go out and be intimate and sexual with others, it didn't mean that I loved or cherished my partner in a unique and profound way. He still had my heart like no one else. On the other hand, it doesn't diminish the genuine pleasure that I experience with my client lovers, and the genuine concern that I have for their well-being, either, but my partner knew the "whole me" in ways that my client lovers never can, if only because he walked through the day-to-day details of my life every day. To him, my "heart" truly was monogamous.

 

I confess that, prior to this period of my life, I would have scoffed at the phrase and seen it as a contrived expression for perhaps someone caught "cheating on his/her partner," merely as an excuse to justify his/her actions, but now.......I see it completely differently. I know for me, it is truly possible to experience monogamy of the heart while in a relationship with a partner.

 

So for those of you who do have a partner who is involved in escorting, be assured that it is indeed very possible that your partner loves you completely and uniquely, even if s/he is having sex with other lovers.

 

And to others of you who may have discovered that your partner is seeing an escort because of a lack of intimacy in your own marriage but a continued love for you, be assured of the same: it is entirely possible that s/he has been entirely faithful to you in love, if not in the realm of sex.

 

Those are my thoughts. What do the rest of you think?

[FunValerie 8573]

Love and sex are two very different things. It would save many people lots of heartache if they understood the separation of two.

[Jo84doin 100]

Hey welcome to verb hope you get to try all the thing you desire

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

Did the OP (Shelly) catch her husband in June of 2013 and just now, a year later looking at exploring things, or is the "join date" just a typo?

 

join date can't be a typo. I noticed that too.

[Boomer 33202]

Occurred to me that it could be a bit awkward if he's also a member here.

[tenfoursiz 170]

Well dear Shelly

All I can to you is ,don't go and do something you may regret

I know there are a lot of married or attached people on this site but every people have different reason for using these services

I am a widow myself and use this service because I don't want another relationship so this works great for me.

As a previous married man I can see why a married man would use these services because they want to do things that are different and feel unconfortable asking there spouse to do . It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Like my wife use to say it's only sex

So please think twice before you get into something you will regret and will change your life forever

Take care and good luck

Tenfoursiz

[loneskater 25635]

Wow , so i just caught my husband, i found out he was going to parlours and using escorts , so i guess i'm not good enough , so i decided to join cerb and going to try new things, a lot of things i want to try and always wanted to experience that my husband didn't want to do. so now lets show him so please i can use all the help i can get on this site thank you

I am using the name Shelly

 

Since you joined CERB over a year ago, I think it would help others to properly comment on your thread if you clarified the time lapse between this thread and your join date. Did you just catch your husband cheating or it happened a year ago and you finally decided to post!

[Guest D***el B***e]

Honey? Is that you? ... pfweew, you scared the living daylight out of me!

 

Seriously, I really love you but I just want to experiment. I'm going through a phase where I need spicy and discrete encounters, but in my heart, you're still THE one! ... sorry everyone, I was just reflecting on my personal situation.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I've been in the same situation when I was in your position once upon a time. Looking back, I find that those who see escorts or frequent massage parlours are looking for something physical. Imo, I consider it far worse if a man were to have an emotional affair than to visit a sex worker. Men are also visual creatures. I'm not condoning what your husband has done but if there has been a lack of communication or lack of sex, men decide to take things into their own hands. I think the best thing to do is confront your husband and let him know that you know about his activities and ask him why. Communication is key here and then you can begin to make sense of it all. And please don't blame yourself.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Jabba 18389]

Imo, I consider it far worse if a man were to have an emotional affair than to visit a sex worker. Men are also visual creatures. I'm not condoning what your husband has done but if there has been a lack of communication or lack of sex, men decide to take things into their own hands. I think the best thing to do is confront your husband and let him know that you know about his activities and ask him why. Communication is key here and then you can begin to make sense of it all. And please don't blame yourself.

 

Dear me...

I find this post to be somewhat offensive. It's demeaning, confrontational & accusatory in tone toward males. Your charactarization of men is rather simplistic and dismissive. I won't suggest we as male people are perfect, but we do have our positive moments. Please lead me to a different conclusion if I am mistaken

 

Are all females sexual victims in a relationship - is that what you are suggesting?

[ManniGold1 120]

Couldn't agree more Love & Sex are very different , sex with out is love just less complicated

[Guest *l**e]

I didn't read that at all. I think she just chose to describe things this way based on a generalization and the fact that it is a man the OP is dealing with.

I hate seeing a relationship ruined. I hope these folks can figure stuff out.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Dear me...

I find this post to be somewhat offensive. It's demeaning, confrontational & accusatory in tone toward males. Your charactarization of men is rather simplistic and dismissive. I won't suggest we as male people are perfect, but we do have our positive moments. Please lead me to a different conclusion if I am mistaken

 

Are all females sexual victims in a relationship - is that what you are suggesting?

 

I'm a provider and knowing what many clients have told me and how they do love their wives but seek something that isn't in the marriage anymore or for other various reasons is very common. Everyone has their reasons for seeking out SPs or MAs, etc. I fully understand this and don't judge. Otherwise I wouldn't be in this line of work. I also know what it's like to be in her position and to be blindsighted by this. So I understand from both sides of the fence.

 

Jabba, do you know what it's like to have your partner seek outside physical intimacy without your knowledge? Maybe you do, maybe you don't but please do not put words in my mouth! I never said she was a victim. It takes two in a marriage and a lot of work to keep a marriage going. Interpret it as you see fit but what you are alluding to is just plain wrong!

[Ice4fun 78396]

Dear me...

I find this post to be somewhat offensive. It's demeaning, confrontational & accusatory in tone toward males. Your charactarization of men is rather simplistic and dismissive. I won't suggest we as male people are perfect, but we do have our positive moments. Please lead me to a different conclusion if I am mistaken

 

Are all females sexual victims in a relationship - is that what you are suggesting?

 

I did not read Nicollete's post that way or see anything offensive about it.... lol.. text can be interpreted so many ways.

 

Just my opinion

[Jstrano 130]

Welcome.....