Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I was talking to an hobbyist the other day about recos... I've asked him why we are not getting recos anymore... His awnser has stunned me... He told me everything was already written and that he was only a lurker... Ok, I can understand that... But you have to understand that I'm only a hooker, and I don't have to put effort in what I'm doing... My job is to satisfy you, not to give you the best moment of your life, or even make you relax... That's how I feel... When you post a reco, it's the same has saying thank you, eventhough it's just two words... No need to write a book! Adding to a reco makes it going back on top, and helping us get noticed among the others... I feel that I'm not good at it anymore, so better just quit, and I know I'm not the only one to think this way... We, girls, need VALORISATION, to be RECOGNIZE, to feel that we are the BEST... Not into it? Next time we meet, I may not be either... 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ava Foxx 1747 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I understand that you're upset but I don't think this rant is going to get you very far. Perhaps it would be best to cool off a bit before posting. If you post when you're upset, and this applies to anyone, you may just come across as hostile and angry and that will scare people away rather than encourage them to write you recommendations. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c******n****h Report post Posted June 16, 2010 Grass Hopper, I understand your frustration, however, there could be a number of reasons why a reco is not posted. 1) You have already been reviewed by the gentleman. He may not think that further reviews are necesary. 2) There are a large number of reviews and he feels like he has nothing to add. This does not mean he did not enjoy himself. It could mean so much has been said that he does not want to sound repetitive with the other comments and reviews. 3) He may simply wish to remain anonymous on the board 4) He may not have had a great time and opts not to review 5) He is too lazy to share the info 6) He might be a one time only client who is never gong to bother to post any type of review. Personally, I like to see up to date reviews as they speak to the present. Many things could have changed over the course of a year or two with an SP, so keeping up to date is a good thing. You can probable sense when you have had a great ecounter, so I would suggest you ask the gentleman to post a review when you have a mutually satisfying visit. Good luck in Ottawa. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kate von Katz 49953 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I, too wish that gentlemen would review more often - especially the ones who swear I'm a "gem". But many feel that writing a review for a lady who already has several is redundant. Some do not actively participate on Cerb, and are "lurkers" who have no desire to post on any topic. More still simply feel that a review is not their responsibility. Everyone has reasons for why they do or do not do something. Ladies don't like when men scrutinize what services we offer, so why should we scrutinize their choice in activity and posts on Cerb? If it truly annoys you so much, maybe you should make it clear to clients that you expect reviews written about you? Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redmachine 1916 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 No one should feel pressured to do a reco nor should the sp take it personal if they do not it is just not for everyone. It is the same as a sp providing a reference for a gentleman it should only be done if they are comfortable doing so Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I don't understand why ladies are getting their knickers so tied up in a knot about having recommendations written. We are not "on display" here, (or are we). As I mentioned in the BBW reco thread, some guys would like to but can't because they don't have enough posts and some...well...let's face it, may be shy, or downright lazy. I understand your frustration Sabrina, but I tend to agree with Ava on this one, I don't think it's going to get the guys writing more reviews. In fact it might have the opposite effect. I always shied away from reviews because of the other boards. I know on CERB, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. But my validation and best "review" comes from repeat clients. That's just me though - perhaps other girls see it differently - after all this is a recommendation board, so you might expect to see "recommendations", n'est-ce-pas? It's a tough subject to address without sounding negative or desperate. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theliquor (Lost but not fo 50595 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 From a "hobbiest" I clearly understand where Sabrina is coming from. Women and men like to know that they are being recognized positively for what they invest their time and expertise in. However, I do agree with Angela, that the most positive review I can give is providing repeat visits to the ladies I adore. Although I do provide reviews on an irregular basis, I will do my utmost to do it more regularly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c******n****h Report post Posted June 16, 2010 Echoing Angela's sentiments, a repeat customer should tell the SP that she is doing a goog/great job. I was approached by an SP following an encounter to post a reco. During our visit, she had asked me a few questions which made me uncomfortable answering. Needless to say, I did not really enjoy my time with her. She is well reviewed on Cerb, and while I respect everyone's opinion, I simply chose to ignore her request, and have elected not to see her again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I just try to understand... Yes, I use cerb to be on display... Eventhough I love chatting with guys, my main point is to make money (enough for my living) and time I'm spending in OT could be spent with my family and friends, at home... If I was'nt doing the effort of travelling, getting headaches from hotels, fees to rent a car, doing my nails and hair... I would'nt care. I could just take my calls from home, and do my thing. But there's some girls (I understand most of us) that are travelling only for the guys... Honestly, I've ben thinking of quitting, because I don't feel like being useful to Ottawa anymore, and there's nothing to make me think the opposite... As for the pressure, I would never do so... You deserve it, or you don't. Clients were telling me about sps willing to pay over 100 bucks, just to be reviewed... Not my thing... I just do my job with a little more to make you feel good, wich I wish I still do... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kate von Katz 49953 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 In the end it comes to personal choice - and as adults, we are all encouraged to peacibly accept those choices. If something is truly important to someone, they will make it known before an encounter - whether it be "I would like my clients to review me" or "hey, can you wear that great outift in the photo". Put it out there so the other person knows and can make their decisions and choices based on that knowledge. But respect the choice they make. As I said earlier, we don't like being scrutinized so why go and scrutinize the men? As for you feeling unappreciated, remember that our relationships are predominantly casual. You are not their girlfriend, and smoothing over a bad mood is not their job. That's why they see us. We're all the perks of a girlfriend without the headache. If you are truly and genuinely feeling disillusioned, maybe this is the time for you to move on to another vocation? Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I just try to understand... Yes, I use cerb to be on display... Eventhough I love chatting with guys, my main point is to make money (enough for my living) and time I'm spending in OT could be spent with my family and friends, at home... Sabrina I understand your frustration about not being reviewed but I'm really stunned by this statement. dont let a couple guys who dont write reviews throw out your appreciation for the amazing community we've got going here. True us SPs are here to make a buck...but theres a lot more to it than being on cerb and some of us really do value your input....the SP only section warning for example that you post have been helpful to us and we're not paying you in there..just an example. If I was'nt doing the effort of travelling, getting headaches from hotels, fees to rent a car, doing my nails and hair... I would'nt care. I could just take my calls from home, and do my thing. But there's some girls (I understand most of us) that are travelling only for the guys... Honestly, I've ben thinking of quitting, because I don't feel like being useful to Ottawa anymore, and there's nothing to make me think the opposite... As for the pressure, I would never do so... You deserve it, or you don't. Clients were telling me about sps willing to pay over 100 bucks, just to be reviewed... Not my thing... I just do my job with a little more to make you feel good, wich I wish I still do... sabrina I'm sensing a lot of angst in your post and get the feeling that you dont feel like you are getting enough back from something that you are putting effort into, if thats the case from the sessions you are having (and not based on reviews) perhaps its time to take a break? I've known of some SPs to take a bit of a break and deep breaths and come back when they feel they are not sacrificing their time for nothing... and a client that tells you that girls have paid him for reviews...isnt a client you need to see...if he wasn't speaking of himself than I apologize but I have to wonder why anyone would bring that up...if girls even ARE doing that, that is. I've never heard of anyone to pay for a review, thats truly horrible and I certainly hope he wasn't mentioning that to you to see if you would jump on the offer. finally I will add that our presence on the boards here is important, and not to sound mean but if thats the case please try and stay positive...a good review will come, you just have to be patient. I went through a while with no reviews...then again I also had a couple regulars...business will come no matter who reviews you or not is generally what I discovered. wish you all the best and chin up. xo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 If your clients aren't giving you the validation you need and you feel that you deserve that pat on the back, I'd say you aren't seeing the right clients. I also sense a bit of sex worker burnout syndrome. As others have said, perhaps some time away from the biz would be beneficial. Our work is very emotionally labour intensive and sometimes you just have to step back and take care of yourself. That being said, you are a valued presence on this board and it would be sad if you left us. <3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 maybe some guy's don't write them because thay have read other reco's and went to see the girl and was all together different from what was on the reco so maybe there thinking everyone can spend there money and find out by themselves Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 Our work is very emotionally labour intensive and sometimes you just have to step back and take care of yourself. That being said, you are a valued presence on this board and it would be sad if you left us. <3 well said Erin :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wpg2010 203 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 When I look for an SP to meet I look at recommendations and recent ones are the most valuable. Also multiple hobbyists with the same recommendation is a good sign as everyone is looking for someone a little different than what I might want. Many hobbyists probably find it hard to put their thoughts in writing or are just lurkers. We as hobbyists need to put back into cerb recommendations to payback what we have benefited from others. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 All very valid points and as usual, Annessa and Erin have deftly described what I feel Sabrina may be experiencing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I almost always leave reco's because i feel that is the whole point to this board. If we don't leave reco's, then the women have very little reason to be here as the advertising from reco's is the main reason for a lady to be on CERB. Without reco's and this site, you guys may be stuck with nothing but CL to deal with. I feel bad that Sabrina is upset...I have never met her. but have always wanted to (bad timing) From my experience, guys...if you have a good experience with a woman and write a great reco, your next time with her will be even better!!! "Give a little to get a little"!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jg24 3708 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 Well I agree you only get back what you put into something. Ihear if a lady has too many recos no need for me to write one. Well you don't have to or you can it can be a simple I agree with all that has been said aboutthis lady or MP It doesn't have to be long and full details a simple positive gesture can go along way for some. I sometimes don't do a reco maybe because I didn't enjoy or wasn't near computer and then forget. I for one look for recos on ladies and sometimes visit 2 or 3 boards to find one on a particular lady. We had a thread where lurkers were upset they couldn't get certain info shared with them here is a prime example for lurkers to step up. A week or so ago I saw a lady from an ageancy she begged me to do a reco asked me atleast 4 times it spoiled things I did not do a reco if you need to ask a client to do a reco then it is not the same. To me the reco has to be my choice and because I feel I thouroughly enjoyed my time with the lady. We need to appreciate what we have here on Cerb when I started hobbying almost 30yrs ago we had nothing to look at before seeing a lady. Appreciate what you have because you may never know when you may loose it and have nothing to go check on a reco of a particular lady. And to say Grashopper may have burntout syndrome people have this in almost every job everyday and they need to step back and take a break and come back refreshed. Posted via Mobile Device 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
777flyer 1612 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I have been seeing an SP from this board regularly now, but have not added a review, since she had been well reviewed already. We actually did speak about reviews, but she was indifferent about whether I wrote one or not, only asking that i not provide any details IF I PERSONALLY decide to add a review.... After each time I see her, i send a personal thank you note, which to me goes a long, long way to thanking her for another excellent date..... I believe a personal note or text message goes much further in showing someone your gratitude and thanks, than does posting a review. Both have their merits, yet i believe serve two completely different purposes......if all you merely wanted was a thank you.....a personal note would go a lot further than a review..... IMHO SNK Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dead Things 100 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 I for one look for recos on ladies and sometimes visit 2 or 3 boards to find one on a particular lady. We had a thread where lurkers were upset they couldn't get certain info shared with them here is a prime example for lurkers to step up. I just joined this board about a week ago because I was looking for a SP in a specific area and google brought me here. I am the kind of person who will dabble in the so-called hobby once or twice a year, if that. As such, I can't base my decisions on personal relationships or first-hand experience. Thank goodness for the recommendations on this site, that's all I can say. I haven't yet visited the SP I've chosen, but am really kinda retardedly excited about it because I know I've made the right decision and am going to have an awesome time with her! I, for one, will make the effort to reach that 5-post minimum in order to leave recommendations, because I know how helpful they were to me. And BTW, you guys have the best emoticons ever! :bddog: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted June 16, 2010 It should be understood that guys talks among ourselves. I'm quite sure most of us have been asked if we met so-and-so or if we could recommend someone. Even though OP's client didn't or wouldn't write a reco it does not exclude him from touting their incredible experience together. Why write a recommendation then ? Permanency. Clients come and go. By writing a recommendation the experience will be preserved for future clients. It also acts as a personal log of this hobby. Recency. Ladies come and go. By writing a recommendation it signals others that the lady is still around. This is particularly important this past few months. The number of schedules posted by ladies seem to have gone down but with a recommendation we know that she is still around. Appreciation. A personal thank you note is directed privately to the person. A recommendation is a shout of thanks to the world. Both have its place in this forum. One does not preclude the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xracer86 122 Report post Posted June 17, 2010 Grasshopper; As a "Newbie" you have brought up a very good point, I personally wouldn't have thought of the benefits of being reviewed by every client. I usually look at the reco's others have posted & go with that, usually feeling I really don't have anything to add that hasn't been already said. I will change that in the future! Even though we've never met you sound like a great person. Don't let life get you down, there are alot of us that appreciate what you do! :-D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Scarlett 25073 Report post Posted June 17, 2010 I see both sides of this debate. But I would have to agree with the fact that most of the hobbiests do their research based on the reco's for a lady. But when they see a lady they do no see the need to post a reco! This is just my opinion, but the newbies take the reco's from the long time members and do not post any new ones, how are the newer newbies supposed to know what that lady is like, if the only review for her is a year old? I am not say it is manditory for someone to write a reco, heck where I am there is not many on here I have seen. But I love being on this site because even though we are not close in location we all have a common goal. I think it would be bennificial for newer members to leave reco's for the ladies they see and like, because it is not only a reco for the lady, it is also a reco for himself. A lot of the lady's will look at you previous reco's for a reference for you. Just my 2 cents! Feel free to disagree, but this is how I feel about reco's. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted June 17, 2010 A lot of the lady's will look at you previous reco's for a reference for you. Just my 2 cents! Feel free to disagree, but this is how I feel about reco's. you are quite right about this point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123367 Report post Posted June 17, 2010 I don't understand why ladies are getting their knickers so tied up in a knot about having recommendations written. We are not "on display" here, (or are we). As I mentioned in the BBW reco thread, some guys would like to but can't because they don't have enough posts and some...well...let's face it, may be shy, or downright lazy. I understand your frustration Sabrina, but I tend to agree with Ava on this one, I don't think it's going to get the guys writing more reviews. In fact it might have the opposite effect. I always shied away from reviews because of the other boards. I know on CERB, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. But my validation and best "review" comes from repeat clients. That's just me though - perhaps other girls see it differently - after all this is a recommendation board, so you might expect to see "recommendations", n'est-ce-pas? It's a tough subject to address without sounding negative or desperate. Your right about everything except one thing...you don't have to have a certain amount of posts to write a reco...i mean look in the Atlantic section...haha some of the ladies there have reco's from gents that just joined.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
