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WOW!!!! I can't believe the class of some ladies. I am sorry if I have offended any ladies but seriously, how can you be so stupid. It takes ALOT to build up client trust and assure them of discretion then someone goes and does this. Is it that hard to send an email? I have one question WHY, WHY, WHY would you do this? Do you want a client calling you on your personl phone when you are with famly? Respecting the fact that everyone has a private life outside this is truly one of the most IMPORTANT things in the industry. One stupid move like this affects the rest of the community in one way or another. Sorry to hear this happened to you Steve.

"For one to be happy one must risk unhappiness" These past few weeks have brought up a number of great topics and discussion, ranging anywhere from `did I fall in love with my SP?` to Discretion to Respect for the SPs. No matter where you are or what you are doing respect is always a #1 on the personal integrity scale. I have always acted as a true gentlemen with any SP and I have always respected each of them for who they are ...- not what they do. And we should be able to respect ourselves as clients for what we do. C`est vrai? I am a single father of 4, a busy professional with, as you may well appreciate, a very full life. No rest for the wicked they say!!! I was not, and am not, ready for any kind of fulltime relationship. There is only so much of me that I can spread around. But as plans go they don`t always come to fruition. For not wanting to be emotionally involved, I ended up being just that after seeing the same SP for upwards of 2 1/2 years. We were becoming quite close ... perhaps too much so for our own good. And it got to the point that the level of seriousness was a little uncomfortable ...- and more for her than I. You see there is quite a different perspective in terms of client and SP. I know that from my own `client` work. Although I have developed a very deep affection for this woman ... and would always be there for her if she needed me...there are some things that can`t mix. And I have to respect that about her. And certainly, especially so, when I know she also has strong feelings for me. So, out of respect for her, I have backed off -- completely. Perhaps things will change over time (I hope so) and perhaps not. I have known many in this buisness over the years, some who no longer practice but remains friends, and they have said this to me: "Whenever we were different feelings for a client and thinking about them often we found ourselves making `love` to him and then seeing others just became emotionally tough on us" Makes sense. This special woman that became part of my life deserves a whole lot of respect for that decision. They should all be treated as ladies ... they are gems to us for a lot of different reasons. To all the `clients` out there ...- be respectful of your SP ... after all she is a vibrant, intelligent woman who treats you well.

Ok...I am starting to wonder if indeed discretion truly means what I think it does. The reason I am wondering is, and believe me I wondered about starting a thread on this topic. A few months ago (November to be exact) I met a lady for the first time, some of you may remember my post on this meeting entitled "Disappointment." Anyway THIS post relates directly to that previous post and lady in question. So enough background information, now I will begin. One evening shortly before Christmas as I am relaxing at home, incidentally with my wife in the same room, my cell starts to ring. Considering that I am now married and long since stopped receiving any phone calls much past 9:00...isn't married life wonderful, this call on MY phone at 11:00 must be a wrong number...please let it be a wrong number! As I start to reach for the phone I hear the obligatory question, "who is it?" Well to my surprise it was a text message from someone stored in my phonebook! This person was not my best friend, not someone from my ball team not even the office! The person texting me was the lady whom I met only a few weeks earlier TEXTING ME that she was going to be close by and wanted to schedule an appointment with me!! So here I am phone in hand with the words "new message from ......-" staring up at me and a wife trying to see who it is! Talk about DISCRETION! So, needless to say I had to lie...hard and fast to escape certain castration! So the reason for this little story is two fold: Reason one is to advise the community about this situation. Reason two is to ask if this or anything like it has ever happened to anyone else??

Gross! Pistol Pete expressed it perfectly: the phone numbers of the gentlemen (let's call them "clients" for this purpose) should be discarded after an appointment takes place. If the client wants to meet the SP/MP or whoever, again, HE WILL MAKE THE CALL, not the other way around. Does anyone here receive calls from, let's say the painter?? wanting to go paint your living room today??? or does the accountant call you to schedule an appointment to see your registry books for no reason? I really think and feel this is an issue of "bad association" (sorry for the frankness). Most of the SP's /MP's at CERB wont even think of doing that. Privacy goes both ways, however, we know that our "clients" are mostly attached with a SO, and even if a real friendship develops between Service Provider and Client, everybody should know his/her place. If an SO picks up the phone and reads a text like Steve mentioned...WOW... "castration" may be just a small part of the tragedy that could unfold. If a client asks to be called....we call....and in that case they will provide a number that is convenient to them and a time for that call to be placed. Regarding "blocked numbers"....I have my 2 cents to say: Bad,bad, bad. We do not pick up calls from Blocked Numbers. It is distasteful of the caller. It is "hiding" behind the phone....why? Because the other person may investigate you? or perhaps do what the SP of Steve did? well....more reason to assert that this was a case of bad-association. I suggest to check with the other gentlemen in the forum about the SP/MP you would like to meet; get a good reference and you wont have to go through undesirable situations.... We want you all in one piece, I mean...unless you want to be the next eunuch at a sophisticated harem !!!!:bowdown:

The question is does it actually work ?!? It is always worth following Schneier. http://www.schneier.com/blog/ and to remember