Leaderboard

One thing that I have noticed in some, but not all, advertisements are different colours and/or capital letters used within the body of the post. I find it very DIFFICULT and ANNOYING to try and read something that was TYPED with the "CAPS LOCK" on and in THREE or FOUR different colours.

After being here at CERB for quite sometime,and getting to know quite a few ladies throughout my experiences,I thought I let it know how important friendship is. It is not about having 400+ friends on your profile (like I do :) ),but it is nice to know that members here can certainly from end of the country to the other can be friends or acquaintances. It is not always about sending ton of pm's, it is in real life,face to face that you can have a great friendship with members here. I've got to know some ladies on a great personal level, and we have become I like to think "good friends" when meeting face to face. I have also had the pleasure to meet a couple of gents,and I like to think we are close friends too. It is not just about the sexual activities with a lady, but that itself is certainly a huge plus. I have over time found that trust,that special bond becomes a true friendship and I like to thank those special ladies. You will always be part of my life. So to that thread regarding if you ever fell in love with your Sp or your hobbiest. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=33715 I like to think we have become good friends and we communicate well with each other, we trust each other deeply with personal issues. I have found many dear friends here,and yes I love them for that "friendship". The definition of friends- "The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will." So I leave you with this, "friends are so important" in your circle of life, so thoroughly enjoy the good will and the bond between each other. Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. Muhammad Ali May you all enjoy your friendships;)

Personally I'd rather someone let me know if they are unable to make it than not show up at all. The reasoning is secondary, sometimes it may help me to grow my business (or as a person) but other times it may be irrelevant to me and I do not really need to know. If you wanted to know what his actual reason for cancelling was you could always contact him after with a polite note and let him know that you noticed he saw another lady at that time and would like to know the reason he had to cancel the call, explain to him this type of feedback allows you to further develop your business and is useful to you. Some people are okay with providing that information when in a business context but you have to frame it as such and depersonalize it in order to allow him to safely provide criticism without feeling like he is personally insulting you. In addition it's important that you accept that not everyone will want to or care to provide that information, they are the client and they can set the boundaries for disclosure. It's also helps to keep in mind why people lie, we all do it but the reasoning can vary from one person to another. Sometimes we lie to avoid conflict, sometimes to spare another persons feelings, sometimes to avoid punishment, sometimes it's a fear of rejection, etc. He may have felt that providing his actual reason would have caused a conflict he did not wish to deal with or perhaps he thought that he was sparing your feelings as we often read on the boards reminders that the ladies 'are human too' and it's not polite to treat them as just a business. It's not easy for the gentlemen to navigate these relationships as they have an entirely different dynamic than the ones they are used to at work or at home, it takes time to learn the intricacies involved.

Old dog is rockin it! gonna give er a shot .... mind you, this is after a coupla beers and a rye nd coke...( i work nights in case you notice the time of this post..lol) so here goes.. On Cerb, i;m payin the dollars i'm not into Dog Collars Just looking for a treat And although i've got big feet My penis ain't makin em holler Additional Comments: I'll try one more, Just practisin my sex skills on Cerb sometimes my life is a blur while waiting for "The One" i'm just havin fun Thank God for the ladies on Cerb! this is contagious... 1 more There once was a cutie named Nicki i'm told that she gave a great licky her pictures were sweet i vowed that we'd meet as long as she didnt give me a hickey happy bday Nicki

I don't like reading ads that have: 1. Promises of duos with the undead - nothing is less sexy than a zombie gnawing at your cranium. 2. Ads written in Cyrillic text. I couldn't tell whether I was booking with Svetlana or Vladimir.... and Vlad had gone to an awful lot of effort to get ready for me... I felt bad when I canceled at the door. 3. Ads with words I don't understand. I have a very limited vocabulary. 4. Ads that say "no dogs allowed." They make me sad. 5. Ads that don't contain the letter "v" and the number "2". They were proud sponsors of Sesame Street on several occasions and they aren't given enough credence. 6. Ads that don't pay homage to the movie "Full Metal Jacket." Those Vietnamese girls knew how to hustle. 7. Ads that contain photos of Steven Seagal. He frightens me.

Good thread. I've said this before in other threads, but I'll take the opportunity to repeat myself. I don't like reading rants from service providers about deadbeat clients or no shows or whatever, and I don't like ads that say things like: "I had a cancellation, so now I'm available." (no guy wants to think he's second best or just a number) "I'm working today." (No guy wants to know he's just part of your WORK...you're his fantasy! Can't you pretend we're your fantasy?) Ads that make me feel special and wanted and like I'm number one, and that help my fantasy that you are there just for me and only me, and that we will have the best chemistry and the best love connection ever ...those are the ads that turn me on and make me want to come see you!:handjob:

You are putting a lot of pressure on me, but here goes: There once was a 'ho named Berlin, the sight of your dick sent me hurlin', but you reeled me back in with your mouth full of sin, and now you've got my toes a-curlin'. Ok, that was terrible. Hahaha. I also forgot to mention CERB. Goddamnit. I just can't compete with Seymour and Cato and WIT. You guys are too good with words. A member is called a CERB-ite, many are much tastier than marmite, from handsome to plain, we'll play again and again, until our endeavours seem trite.

Well after checking out Angel's ads on CL for the last couple of weeks I was very interested but not sure because of the lack of recommendations. She had some weird testimonial ads posted on CL and she was in Truro so I was a little uncertain . Then I noticed she had joined CERB and had an ad saying she was in HRM for a few days so I figured this was the time to TOFTT. I text messaged her and she got back to me right away. I asked about a few menu options, specifically BBBJ and was told she was an "expert". So how do I say no to that sort of endorsement. So at the predetermined time I arrived at her hotel (not downtown, but decent enough), and was greeted at the door by a very sexy young rocker chick. Tattoos, piercings, fishnet stay-ups, miniskirt, stilettos, long jet black hair and all. So now I am really interested. We close the door, take car of business and sit down on the bed and start DFK. I then sit back as Angel undresses and her pictures are very accurate. She is thin, small breasts, shaved, and very sexy. Her personality I would have to put on the shy side but in a good way. Sort of the shy girl that you knew was secretly a very dirty girl...So after some kissing, fondling and FIV I disrobed and with out missing a beat Angel dropped to her knees for some great BBBJ. Feeling like if we didnt change up the action this was going to end "prematurely" I suggested she lie down and let me do the work. So down for some DATY that she either really enjoyed and was very vocal about or she is a great actor...either way I was digging it. Then back to FIV and simultaneous BBBJ at which point I figured she seemed to be enjoying so why not just go with it. She is a self proclaimed expert after all. When that feeling arose again I asked where would it be appropriate to finish and was told in a very sexy whisper "in my mouth"...no need to tell me twice. Not a drop was wasted and and I collapsed on the bed for a little post coital chat. I was told the experience would be GFE but I would have to say it was far closer to PSE. This lady is really sweet. Shy and quiet (except during DATY) but very sexy and seemingly down for whatever. I didn't partake of the FS but it was on the menu as was just about anything else. I didn't think to ask as I was otherwise occupied. As always YMMV but for me I haven't had this much fun with a SP in a very long time. I will be making the trip to Truro as often as I can find an excuse. http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=35208

This morning while I drink my coffee and read the boards here, I?m struck by how many complaints we have about the guys who take advantage of some aspect of our services and then treat us badly. There are active discussions about men who: Try to negotiate or bargain clearly-stated non-negotiable fees Try to pay less than the agreed fee after they arrive Try to get services that were not agreed on before the date Complain about our screening questions Don?t bother to take a shower, brush their teeth or trim their nails before seeing us Assume that we're likely to rob them Threaten to write bad reviews and/or aren?t believed when they write good ones Insult us, our need for safety and even our looks when we don?t give in to what they demand No one is forced to read our ads and websites, look at our photos, contact us, discuss our services with us, or meet with us. It?s all voluntary and initiated by the client. The client has needs, feelings, preferences and curiosity, but why do so many refuse to take responsibility for themselves? What they express as anger, self-righteous indignation and personal entitlement is really projected self-hatred. I want to sit these men down and say: If you don?t want to see a paid companion, don?t do it. If you decide to seek out a companion, that's your decision. What you want is not what everyone else may want. That?s usually a wonderful thing. Recognize that we?re not like cheap candy that you can buy daily. We?re more like fine dining to be enjoyed occasionally. Plan accordingly. If someone?s prices are too high for you, either wait until you can afford her, or find someone else. Meanwhile, don't blame her for your lack of funds. Recognize that she charges what the market will bear. That means that there are plenty of others who can afford to see her. Always be polite and considerate. No matter what. Even if you feel confused, disappointed or insulted, be polite. Remember that companions are human beings, just like you. We have needs, desires, dreams and things we?re worried about or afraid of, just as you do. We will protect both your health and our own. Fair is fair. If you're worried about your safety, know that she's concerned about her safety, too. No matter who or how important you are or think you are, the one who is taking the most risks is always the companion. Always. Relax.

O.k. here's my lame attempt..... There was a young farmer named Jules While on Cerb would not follow the rules Found himself now "dis-Membered" Favorite girls not remembered He now contemplates f**king the mules Oh well....I tried

I thought that was called The Hotdog: A WEINER BETWEEN 2 BUNS!!!!

There's some pretty stiff competition around here, but I'll have a go..... I came to CERB on a mission For girls with nice bods I went fishing But I had a brain fart And found girls that are smart With nice bods as well as ambition!

I like to see the general area but that doesn't give the exact location. That way I can get a very close approximation of travel time.

At least he canceled. Much better than a no-show. Disregard the reason. We always encourage guys to have the courage to cancel instead of no-showing. They don't owe us an explanation. If he didn't want the appointment, at least he showed you so respectfully.

If a guy tells you that he's canceling because he has found someone else at a lower rate, how is that being dishonest? Maybe he really did. You should have asked him what that rate was, and then offered to match it. That way you would have trapped him in his lie, if indeed he was lying. In any event, it should be expected in your line of work as it is in other vocations as well. In my business for instance, I have people reneging on commitments on a daily basis. I could initiate lawsuits against them and win the majority of cases, but I don't. I look at it as being the price of doing business, par for the course, and it's water off a ducks back. Although that attitude has cost me alot of money, it has saved me from getting ulcers, and will probably prolong my life a few years. We all know that life is way too short. So take a deep breath Lexi, put a smile on your face, and have a hap hap happy day.

This is a very secure way of collecting. If you (The lady) has a registered business and you deposit stuff like this in your business account it's a good way to pass large amounts legally (I would avoid depositing such things in personal accounts and you want to have a registered business - See below as to why if you don't know already). Some trust is involved too as this has to be done ahead of time (but it does remove the fraud element for the lady as she can call your bank and confirm the wire was deposited). If it's a business account the ladies REAL name would not be used and if this is being deposited into a business account and your taxes are all in order it would be a good way to collect payments. If you don't have a registered business (and you should) see my comment further down... you can get in lots of trouble. I am not sure about alertpay (It is possible they allow adult) but most of these companies have a hold back (Usually 10-20% for up to 6 months to cover charge backs) and none would allow a actual "Escort" to provide services and use the service for escorting (at least not knowingly) Adult friendly usually means "adult sites" (porn membership sites) and stuff like that (Too high risk for the other guys). CCBILL for instance allows adult processing but the costs are WAY HIGH (look at the cost per transactions! WHEW! Not sure anyone would do this over cash). If you ask them if you can use CCBILL to collect payments for escorting I am 99% sure they would say no. Same goes with any adult processor. Business (Taxes) and Income Tax - Tempting cash based business First thing everyone should know here in Ontario is ... if you make more than 30000.00 a year you need to register for HST (and register a business). If you have more than 30000.00 a year go INTO your bank account and you do not have a T4 to show where that money came from they (The government) will assume you are self employed and not complying with tax collection laws. They will review your account to see where the money was coming from (business or personal) and they will have questions!! If your INCOME tax statement does not match what you deposited in your bank (Especially if it's over 30grand in a year period) and you will be FLAGGED if you don't have a T4 or a registered business (That you file your taxes with) to show where this money came from! They know your working as a self employed person when this happens. If you deposit such things as wire transfers, credit card payments or even deposit cash or cheques in the ABM without claiming this on INCOME tax (or again having a T4 showing your earnings in this amount). Even depositing INTERAC email money transfers is the SAME as depositing CASH into your account. If you do this ALL the time you better make sure it's in a BUSINESS bank account. If you deposit over 10000.00 by INTERAC EMAIL MONEY TRANSFER into a personal bank account in a 365 day period you will set off a flag and be reviewed. Ongoing payments from business accounts (Especially outside Canada) sources such as ccbill, paypal, alertpay, etc... and even canadian providers such as hyperwallet .. these place all have to report this to RevCan if the transactions are over 10000.00 every 365 days. If your depositing these in personal accounts and not a business accounts the FLAGS will go up as well (Even for stuff under 10000.00/yr as this sets off the flags saying your doing business and they will look for self employed income statements to be files by you - if not... the flags will go up). The government makes sure anything "LIKE CASH" (especially after 9-11) is reported to them. Wire transfers, money orders, interac, paypal, etc...etc... and if you have "CASH MONEY" (Including any of these things) being deposited into your account and that does not match what your income tax and HST / OR T4 is saying... you will be investigated for non compliance if you do not file income tax properly (and HST if over 30000.00 per 365 day period of income being deposited into your bank accounts). Every bank account transaction you make the government can see and any transaction over 10000.00 is reported "per transaction" and I beleive that any bank account balance over 10000.00 is also reported regularly. Every dollar that you put into your bank ... please make sure it shows on your income tax and if it's over 30000.00 a year make sure you pay your HST as well. I know it's tempting to collect cash and never report it (I am sure some of you do this not knowing of how the system works fully) all I can say is if this is your only job you should register a business and pay income taxes. If your depositing money into a bank or holding onto it off the grid as cash only... your screwing yourself along with the government as your robbing yourself of some things that have great rewards in life... Such as... 1) You will not be able to get a loan without insane high risk interest rates. 2) Credit cards that are not "Pay as you go" 3) You will not be able to buy a house (Can't pay for a mortgage with cash or get a mortgage without showing some sort of income - even with a deposit and a high risk mortgage that you do not have to show your income the deposit and mortgage payments are all reported) 4) You will not be able to do anything where the funds are reported (Purchasing a car over 10000.00 in cash required the transaction be reported) - Even a personal sale (Used cars under 10G are the only option) 5) You will pretty much need to live off the grid (and that sucks as you miss out of a lot of stuff doing that). 6) and I am sure MUCH more... This day and age it would be VERY hard to live off the grid. You would be renting your home (In the long run taxes paid are actually much LESS than what you are loosing by not purchasing real estate and you can forget about retirement income!) - Sure many only plan to do this job for a few years but why not start building a business and credit over the next few years so when you leave the business you have something out of it! I am saying all this as many of the ladies don't realize this - many end up in the business for MANY years more than what they planned. I know a number of escorts now (and a few agencies) who have been audited because they had homes and cars and failed to pay taxes and deposited cash into bank accounts to pay these bills. It's stressful and not worth it. As tempting as it may be to not report your income since it is a cash business... it really does leave you in a bad situation. Many book keepers and accountants will meet with you and explain how to do this business on the books and reap the benefits. Benefits do exist and business credit history with the banks on a business account has some BIG benefits as well... Some ladies have even told me they do not feel they should have to pay income tax as it's such a personal service (Comparing to the stay at home "Wife" thing or girlfriend who is pampered with gifts and a "Allowance") and as much as I agree it is not fair... the tax man will see it as a business when your escorting and it's very hard to explain the income as "Gifts".

i recently had surgery to fix the nerve damage in my arm . i am incredibly happy to say it went well and i now have the feeling back in my arm and hand . i have just been going around and touching everything i can , rolling it around in my hand . i cant describe it because i know what this stuff feels like but just to be able to have any feeling at all after 5 years , its just amazing . :D

To those hobbyists who are crude You might meet someone who is a prude Cause when you want someone to lust You'll be greeted without any trust They'll kick you out in the nude If Cerb is a board Then the Mod is a Lord I enjoy coming here Even more than getting it behind in the rear I never feel ignored Cerb, is it a verb Hell, it's more entertaining than t**b But when shit hits the fan You know who'll be in the can At the end of the day mod will say "Do not disturb" When Cerb has a party You know never to be tardy Heaven forbid should you drink too much You might need a crutch You could end up in bed with a guy named Marty

WOW !!!! Thats really not nice to people juge me again... seriously im just a little girl want to do this job for fun and not cause i need money. cause i like to have fun with mature guys. And i was doing that for free before.. just decided to charge instead do it for free. why not ? and yess thats happend sometime i do lots of client but i just love it. i take time to shower between each appointment. and im really organized in my time. i have a lots of pre-booking so its easy for me to set up my day. usually when i start a day i have 4 or 5 appointment already book from the day before. and maybe one client per week dont show or cancel last minute. after that i put his number on my black list if he cancell like 5 minute before or just dont answer his phone anymore. i try to do my best all the time. and i never talked bad about nobody. i even dont participate in that kind of discution cause my english is pore and people juge me. and yess i can admite that affect me. i would like to be builingual... but how many of you can write in english and in french too ?? probably not a lot. and im only 19 years old and im proud to be able to write already that good in english. i have dream in life like everybody and i will not have a burnout cause sometime i try to take vacation and after 1 or 2 day i come back cause maybe im nympho.. dont know about that stuff. but i like have sexe all the time. i never had problem like that when i was in mtl i just have determination in life and i want to go far. i have goal and i will be accomplish at 25 years old im sure. i woke up everymorning at 8h20 at 9 im at the gym with my personnal trainner till 10h30 at 11h i jump in the shower at 12 im ready to start. thats it .. i work till im tired and after i go to bed and start again. this is my LIFE and my ROUTINE. and i like it like that. i will also appreciate people stop to talk about me cause is really affect my feeling.

Oh the ladies of CERB would implore, That his hygeine was really quite poor, But he never listened, And his chest how it glistened, With the sweat garnered three days before. Now he called and he called everyone, His mind full of visions of fun, But the odious smell, Like the sulfurs of Hell, Meant his calls would be answered by none. Poor Stanley could not understand, That no courtesan in the land, Would sate his desire, So burning with fire, He was forced to take matters in "hand."

I once wrote a limerick - it sucked I knew from the start I was fucked Who needs poems and rhyming? I'll practise orgasm timing Oh shit! I forgot to use "CERB"! Did I mention the time I wrote a really sucky limerick?

Where do you come up with these??? Remember you're not supposed to mention CERB members' names but those were priceless! Additional Comments: A madam operated a house of ill repute It was the best in the city - no dispute Frequented by politicians and many others Men of reputation were found beneath the covers Since they paid, they didn't need to be cute This is harder than I thought!!!

There once was a boy-name of Mikey. Whose boredom you’ve not seen the likey! Once searched the wrong verb, landed somehow on cerb, And now has sex to soothe his psyche!

To me this goes without saying. References are and should be the norm! We (the guys) do our homework sort of speak. We research a ladies reviews, access her website, and gather as much information as we can about someone we wish to see. Why would the opposite be any different? Safety for all is paramount be it physical (violence, etc.) or sexual (use of condoms). Seeing a lady for the first time is just like a job interview be prepared with references in hand! You might be surprised if when you first contact her simply state in your email that "references are available upon request." This lets her know you are serious and not wasting time. It also may take some of the akwardness out of her having to ask for them.