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I think it's more like that mechanic relationship you mentioned than some of us would like to think... but that doesn't diminish its value. Clients and SPs have a business relationship, but it's an exchange that transpires in an intimate, deeply personal space. That's where the confusion can come from. The thing being sold is physical and personal intimacy. Sometimes, it's pretty straightforward sex-for-hire. Other times, both parties are picking through a dense thicket of the client's feelings, desires, and vulnerabilities. I imagine most sessions are somewhere in the middle. An SP's working self has to be prepared for whoever comes through the door, and good SPs do their best to find out what one particular client needs, and fulfil that during the time together. But remember that the experience is asymmetrical. The client wants what's being offered badly enough to pay a considerable sum for it. Some kind of obstacle keeps him from obtaining the same thing in "civilian" life. But the SP is generally more comfortable, and expert, with the thing being purchased. The two people involved are engaged interactively with each other, and can be entirely honest while doing so, but in the bigger picture the experience means very different things to each of them. As intimate relationships go, the one a client has with an SP is equipped with a pair of gigantic training wheels. The SP is assured to be interested, generally accommodating, reassuring, and focused on the client's satisfaction. Things are pretty much assured to go well for the client. But that artificial safety also limits the relationship's real utility: you're only going to learn so much, and experience so much, in any kind of relationship with an SP. And I can only imagine that the accommodation this requires on the SPs part instantly limits the depth and significance of the relationship, friendship, or whatever we want to call it to her. She limits her responses to suit the situation: in making those choices, she adopts a role. In that sense, we can't avoid the fact that at least to some degree, it is an act. But that's okay: if you saw, let's say, a conventional psychotherapist, that's like a friendship with gigantic training wheels. That person isn't really your friend in a conventional sense. The therapist might genuinely care about you as a person (with some professional detachment). You cover some very intimate and personal ground, and develop some kind of professional-yet-personal relationship. And both parties are being perfectly honest throughout the exchange. It's just that they've also set boundaries and adopted certain roles. Consider SPs as a kind if intimate therapist, and I think you're close to the real nature of the relationship. At least, for those guys who are looking for that. For some, it's much simpler. It's all part of the same broad territory. "Paid friends with benefits"? Okay, but only to the extent that a psychotherapist is a paid friend without them. ;) The SP's responses are friendlier, closer, more personal... but that professional wall remains. ps: I've presumed here to make claims about the experience from an SP's perspective that I can't possibly know about for certain. To those who know better, please jump in and correct me wherever I've gone wrong. pps: This grew waaay longer-winded than I'd planned. Sorry. It's a subject I get super-talky about.

Many factors determine the kind of relationship I have with a client. The range of things clients have wanted from me is very broad, so it's difficult to define our interactions in a simple way. Most of my clients are older men in their 50s, 60s and 70s. Quite a few of them have erectile difficulties due to diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, the medications they take to treat these conditions and other causes. Over the years, I've had several clients who wanted to explore their erotic responses with a safe, non-judgmental partner with whom they didn't have a long-term or complex emotional relationship. I had one long-time client who was quadriplegic: he could feel everything, but he couldn't move. Paid companions had been his only erotic outlet for years until he married his nurse. I've had several men who wanted to see me the first time they took Viagra; they wanted to know if or how it would affect them. I've enjoyed all of these meetings. While not exactly clinical, they haven't been emotionally deep encounters, but they have been satisfying for me because I felt that I was truly beneficial to the clients. I have quite a few regular clients with whom I've built up a great rapport over months or years of meeting. I honestly care about them and I feel cared about, in return, without a major emotional attachment in either direction. I know they're married. They know how I make my living. No one wants to change anything in their lives. The boundaries are well-placed and, within them, we enjoy each other. I offer a wide range of submissive escort services, which is not common in Vancouver. I do it because it's a type of play that I truly enjoy and because, in my experience, those who have a good background in BDSM play are able to be very clear about what they want. They're comfortable with negotiating and sticking to agreed limits and boundaries. I have a great time with these clients and I'm sure they know it! I'm often asked to provide genuine companionship without sex--lunch meetings, dinner meetings, accompanying a client to the theatre, on a shopping trip, to a concert or to a private party. If I do say so myself, I am excellent company, at ease with most people in lots of circumstances without having an expressly erotic aspect to the encounter. My point in saying all of this is that I generally find it easy to establish a good rapport with the men I see. This is one of the reasons why I continue to choose to be a paid companion. I also enjoy meeting new people and exploring their needs, desires and fantasies: I learn a lot about people this way. I have a strong sex drive, too; I arouse easily and have no trouble reaching orgasm most of the time. In other words, the work is often sexually fulfilling for me. But it's also true that I do these things because I'm being paid to do them. I wouldn't see most of my clients on any other basis. I have an intimate partner in my "real" life. Companionship is paid work for me. In screening potential clients, I try hard to determine whether we may be genuinely compatible--whether our personalities, likes and dislikes may mesh or enhance each other. If I find that I don't like someone enough, I will decline to see him a second time. If the question is really whether I will care about you if we meet, the answer is that I expect that I will. Yes, you will pay me for my time and, yes, I care about the money I make. But I also care about treating you handsomely and ensuring that we have a mutually fulfilling experience together.

Simply put, I wish for no woman to feel pressured to have plastic surgery, but I also respect her right to do with her body as she wishes.

Kubrickfan I really don`t see the rationale behind this statement. You are seeing a woman who may or may not be using her real name, living a secret life, seeing & sleeping with other men & all the while trying fulfil the expectation of what each ( including you ) wants her to be. That is by definition a fantasy. You may also be involved with someone else, even married with kids & I highly doubt you are keen to invite your favourite SP to your next real life family function. And that of course is reasonable. While you may grow very fond of each other, the reality is that the SP/Client relationship is based on some mutual subterfuge. And naturally of financial consideration. A fact with which you are both acutely aware going in. As such I personally am not under ANY illusion that I am to be the next Mrs. So & So no matter how much a gentleman enjoys my company. However, simply because I am compensated for my time, my behaviour should in NO way be construed as insincere or bereft of genuine affection. The two need not be mutually exclusive. I suspect that you are in the minority. In fact I hope you are.If a man I meet escorting grows to consider our relationship as a way of life for him & not a hobby ( it has happened to me ) out of an abundance of caution I feel it necessary to part ways. ( and have ) By the same token if an SP becomes needy, demanding & jealous with you I would fully support your decision to do the same. As Samantha clearly stated: boundaries are necessary on both sides or lives can get ruined. Which is why I must agree with Emily`s OP. Alluding that any SP, especially one with her stellar reputation, would react in a possessive, adolescent manner following a request for a reference is absurd. To assume her ego would take priority over another ladies comfort or safety is an affront to her character, professionalism & she has every right to feel hurt & offended. It comes as no surprise to a secure & intelligent lady that you may want variety in your lives. We`re all big girls here. Take the kid gloves off & just be honest with us. Trust me, we can take it!! Sandi

I was surprised recently when a potential client wrote that he didn't want to ask his regular paid companion to write him a reference. He said he didn't want her thinking that he was seeing other escorts. The girl in question I know to be very reference-friendly, but he said he didn't want any drama. I am horrified. If I knew my clients were telling other escorts that I would cause drama and be hurt and upset that he was seeing other girls, I would be furious. That is NOT an image I want projected to the CERB community, particularly as it does NOT represent me fairly. That kind of image does an escort a huge disservice, and hurts her business and reputation. It also creates conflict amongst the girls. If other escorts thought I was a jealous drama queen, I would be mortified. By claiming to protect her 'feelings', this client is being extremely condescending and insulting. These kinds of assumptions about possessiveness and territory are damaging to the SP, and reinforce the stereotype that escorts are emotionally unstable. If you like us (and we're glad that you do!) please HELP us create a great reputation. There is nothing worse than having bad word of mouth, especially initiated by clients who are our fans. The idea that we are romantically or emotionally attached to our clients is generally false. The idea that we don't want clients seeing other girls is false (and kind of funny). We work so hard to make CERB and the escorting community a positive, honest environment. I would hate to think that these assumptions are reversing our progress. Your SP doesn't mind that you see other girls. What she does mind is the damage to her reputation inflicted by this kind of client.

I'm pretty lucky. I'm very sexy, turquoise eyes, small nice breast, straight nose... But this is not the case for everybody. As everybody (or almost), I have little details on my body that are bugging me... My waist is not fine enough, too small breast, very VERY pale complexion, red head, ... But I live pretty well with myself. I train every day, mountain climbing twice a week, trampoline in the backyard, eat well, and living well. I'm not rich, not poor, very ordinary. I just don't understand why people would go to the point of no return, and even farther. Huge breast, not even and wrecked, fake tan same color as a burned toast, or even facelift so hard, it looks like a witch face... I mean, we are born with a certain type of body, and we can working it out so it fits certain beauty criteria. We can do some amelioration, like a very little implant, but when does it comes to a compulsion? I mean, nobody wants to look like Joan Rivers, or have a Janet Jackson type of nose... Our society is so focussed on details that we often forget to look at the whole picture. You know what? I feel beautiful and awsome this morning, and I wish you the same!. . http://www.ocregister.com/articles/celebrities-297900-worst-plastic.html?pic=1

Deepthroating - Really OhMyGod OhMyGod Lovely. Next: PLAYS

I really don't think we live in a society that pressures women to get plastic surgery. I think we did in the 90's and early 2000's when plastic surgery was the newest and biggest thing to do. Yes... there is the suggestion of what perfection is provided by Hollywood and by the hottest magazines, but I consider that an illusion of perfection. I think the average man, prefers natural beauty in a woman. Some women will conform to try and fit that natural beauty category and other women who genuinley want the surgery for their own happiness and fulfillment. I think if someone is using soley using plastic surgery to find happiness, then there are deeper issues going on.

Oh man, this kind of massage must be for those who have a thing for blue balls. Ouch!

...and with a grand flourish your wish is granted! The candles are lit. The wine is poured. The bed is large and inviting. Angelina is waiting for you. She is wearing a beautiful silk kimono and she beckons you forward with one perfectly manicured finger. You swallow once, take a deep breath and swallow again. You move slowly towards the bed unwilling, maybe even unable, to break eye contact. You reach her side and she takes you by the hand. She pulls you close, cheek to cheek and whispers..."I've been waiting for you..." The bedroom door crashes open as her whole brood come charging in and jumps up on the bed. "The nanny has the night off. Thanks for agreeing to take care of my kids. Oh yes, the youngest has an explosive case of Montezuma's revenge. Be sure to check on him every hour or so. See you in the morning!" The doc wishes that he had mind control powers.

I would love to have a nice place in the Laurentiens or down in Nova Scotia near Halifax.

I lost a cat when I was a kid and 2 dogs that weren't mine, but knew and saw often enough that it still hurt deeply. A few years ago I came across this while looking for something totally unrelated. It's certainly a pleasant thought. http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

We had a half dozen of these kicking around the office and I have to say I am impressed. It is as solid as a rock in your hands which for anyone who has owned a bb or used one is probably the first shocker as RIMs build quality has suffered of late. The QNX OS was the next shocker (though considering it's pedigre it should not have been). It is as slick as snot and twice as smooth. Though the overlaying software has issues and there are more then a few glaring omissions the OS has nothing to do with them. I do not believe you will ever see the sheer depth of apps developed for it that you see for apple but frankly that is not a weakness in my mind. I own an IPad and love it. It cannot be beat for what it does. The playBook will serve in it's role as a business tool and companion to the accursed BB I am chained to 24/7 365. It will make that far more bearable. PIO

How could I, a fisherman, forget this one http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-18502621/brad_paisley_im_gonna_miss_her_official_music_video/ RG

I do not think that this is a cold hearted activity for the lady or gentlemen, if it was none of us would be here disucssing it. Each of us give something of ourselves every time we have put effort into the time spent together and we get out of it what we put into it, our action speak the louder than words.

good idea - not much experience planning events but if you need some carnies lurking around I know people ... :) FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US

I cannot really believe what I have just read here. I am certain that the vast majority of men and women on this board find the comment distasteful, disturbing and dangerous. I believe that most of us treat people as people first regardless of their sex, and that our personal interactions should demonstrate the respect that we have for each other, as everyone deserves. My experience here has demonstrated that the women are individuals with feelings, families, friends, just the same as anyone else. They have been caring, sincere, and honest. Their career choice requires that they use precaution in their meetings and this unfortunately is a reminder to them of that. Equally unfortunate is the fact that when a man expresses thoughts such as these it can reflect to some degree on the community of men as a whole, even at a subconcious level. For me it is disturbing and embarrassing to have felt a need to respond to a comment such as this. MY SP's are people first. Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.

I think no i'm sure you won't be seeing anyone who read what you wrote.

Everything about this post makes me feel, as a woman, that we are just objects to you. If it was someone you knew, and you 'want to bend over', you wouldn't give her the respect of letting her know you'd found out her secret, you'd just go to the door and 'hope for the best'. Wow. And if it was someone you hate, her being an escort would give you grounds to 'make her life a living hell'?? Seriously? Is you found out a woman you know was an escort and you didnt' like her, her being an escort would be grounds for you to treat her like crap - or worse? I am very sad for you, that thoughts like that are what came into your mind about this question. And even more so, I'm sad, and scared, for the women in your life who may do things you don't approve of. If being an escort is a valid reason to make someone's life hell for you, what in the world are you doing on this board? This is a place of respect, admiration, and devotion for the people who make the choice to become a sex-worker. NOT for people who think our vocation is something they should be shamed or taunted for in real life.

Jug... this is chilling. You think it's not likely to happen, but if you knew the companion outside of hobbying and were attracted to her, having discovered that she's one of us, you'd set up a meeting without telling her and hope for the best? If that's what you're saying.... well, if it happened to me, I'd feel that my consent had been violated. Even if I was attracted to you in real life, being set up like this would be devastating. It would feel like a major breach of the boundaries I maintain between my ordinary life and my working life and I would feel very unsafe for a long, long time, anxious about what you might do or what you might say to others. I would feel extremely threatened. As for the companion being someone you hate and your statement that you'd meet her to be sure you had her identity correct before you "make her life hell," frankly, that just stops me cold, even as I sit here, writing this post. In thread after thread on this board, I read men's claims that they have well-founded concerns about fallout from meeting us. I don't recall any companion here relishing even a slim chance that she might be an unpleasant, disturbing surprise for a client, or a hope that she might be able to make a potential or former client's life hell because of something that's gone wrong in a meeting. Over and over again, other companions and I try to urge gentlemen here to relax, to be careful, but not paranoid, to trust us a little bit because we want a lot of the same things that you want. We try to point out that we have more to fear than you do. My impression is that most men here understand this, and that most believe that they're not going to hurt us because they don't think they're violent. Physical violence is only one kind of abuse and, horrible as it is, it's not as bad as emotional and psychological abuse.

I hope this never happens

Deleted inappropriate comments

Yes, and I didn't miss the point. My point, if I read his post right, he mistrusts his friends because one friend betrayed him. My point is that your friends can support you in bad times. The one (now ex) friend, who betrayed him is leading him to mistrust his other friends, friends who if he trusted could be there for support. And in no way am I knocking therapy, actually in this case it's probably the best. RG

Why would he be getting into trouble? Posted via Mobile Device

Obviously this is going to be a touchy subject for either party. I can honestly see the validity and sincerity in 99.99% of the points being made by the SPs and Pooners alike. Being that I am a pooner I am naturally biased toward my own protection, and given the nature of the consequences should an SP go sideways on any of us (pooners)... Well I don't feel it is outrageous to expect a pooner to be anything less then protective over their personal identity. Of course the pooners needs must find a healthy balance with the SPs needs and that's where it seems to get complicated..... I was fortunate enough to be able to see Victoria Jolie the last time she was in town (fabulous by the way :D) BUT I didn't have a reference.... I contacted her via email and after a few conversations I was confortable enough to provide her with my cell number which satisfied her verification requirements- lucky me! The rest is glorious history :bddog: :-D But I can promise there is no way I would have given my cell number to any other SP I have ever met (maybe ONE exception). The point is the Pooner and SP must become very comfortable with one another before sensitive information, and in turn services, are exchanged. This type of relationship does not usually devlope in a mater of a few emails or posts. How can the SP or Pooner decide who has to "go first". IE: I give you all of my info up front, you give me services later or vice versa. It's not really fair to make either go first but the next issue is the fact that the SP is indeed running a business. Although they have every right to meet only the most respectable Pooners out there they do adopt a certain level of risk. Along with that risk comes compensation. What does that mean at the end of the day? I'm not entirely sure... :? What I am sure of is SPs need to use every tool in their arsenol to protect themselves from the idiots out there... I'm not sure there is a 100% fair solution either way so like most relationships everyone is going to have to grin and bear it to a certain extent and come to a mutual ground, develope a relationship (can't wait to see you again VJ!!) and then enjoy the fruits of the process as a whole. I just don't see any easy way to get there... I really hope I didn't offend anyone and I hope at least 10% of that made sense to someone besides me lol....... H