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In my opinion, this question doesn't have a yes or no answer. It's not black and white, it's pretty grey. It's going to vary between the people involved as everyone has their own opinions on these types of things.

One of the very essential surviving factors in a relationship is honesty. Your partner is your lifeline, the one person on this planet you can feel completly honest with. No matter what, if you aren't being honest, consider yourself a cheater.

If you have to ask, it's probably cheating. Cheating, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It all depends on your and her belief system. Think of the cultures where anything but a lady's eyes being visible in public is pornographic.

Seems to me you are over analyzing this, If you are stepping over a line that you and your partner have already established then it's cheating. If you've not fleshed out the details and are making assumptions about where the line exists then you're probably going to take some heat. It's all about good communications and not doing things that you're not going to mention to the SO.

I have the pleasure of posting my first ever dancer review of Bridgette Dances, a dancer at Barbs. I had the good fortune to get to know Bridgette online via cerb before actually meeting her at Barbs. She has a wonderful personality, she is very bright and she is a very, very good conversationalist. For Bridgette, her dancer work is very much a a part time job while she finishes up her University degree and moves on to graduate school. Physically, she is a younger lady and she is taller and thinner, and "spinner" would be an appropriate term. Bright eyes and a very nice smile. Without getting too explicit, her dances are slow, very close and very sensual. Nothing against the club rules, but she does a great job! I will definitely be seeing her again the next tiem I'm in town. A couple specifics: Bridgette only dances once or twice a week and you can find out when in her cerb profile which she keeps up to date. Also, she asked that I say that she does not provide private dancing or any other services. Thanks Bridgette ... look forward to seeing you again soon!

"Cheater!!" Strong words, depending who's saying them. Someone might say I was cheating just for being on this site. Others might argue over getting a massage from the opposite sex would be considered cheating. I believe that morality plays a big part in all this. Would you consider going to a stripclub cheating? I'm sure some gentlemen have had issues with their partners when it comes to having a beer with the guys with beautiful women working nude. I understand if you frequent the place regularly. Again, that is my opinion. I love the female body. If I want to see one, shouldn't I have the right to "view" one. I would never cross the line. A line that has been pre-detemined between to adults. With that said, should one feel guilty for endulging in non-line crossing fun?

For what its worth, and not that I have a vote, but I wouldn't be in favor of deleting the thread as its a great display of the "self-correcting" nature of some of the more controversial message strings on this board, all compliments of the posters (I think ... dont know if stuff was deleted). Things got pretty acrimonius, and I suspect many feeling were hurt, but a number of apologies, or at least pleansantries, were issued and people have moved on. Sometimes a few different times ... smile. In short, this topic ... "Respect," became somewhat of a study in respect, thanks to a lot of different members of this board. That's not always a straight road, and I'm sure there are a lot of loose ends, but I think deleting this thread would lose that story, and that would not be good. Maybe its time to close it, as most everyone has had a chance to make their points, and its only apt to re-ignite negatively after this many days.

Requiem For A Dream....great movie....but Jesus Christ if I ever have to watch it again I'd probably do away with myself :p Apocolypse Now - Another great movie....but not really "entertaining" per se

I think mine reveals the depth of my persona and my deep commitment to providing serious commentary on the issues of the day. No whimsy, nothing capricious, just my dogged determination to deliver truth as I see it... cuz we all know I hate levity.

Yes, Ashley is fabulous - I always tell her that her muscles are sexy. ;) Speaking of feature performers, that doesn't happen much here, eh? I'm just starting out in the adult film industry (director/producer) and I'm learning that in other major cities, if the performers do well in the business, they get invited to dance as features in clubs. Would love to see that happen in this city! You're all correct in saying that the current pay structure for dancers just doesn't give them an incentive to be creative on stage. That's too bad. I would LOVE to own a club, to be honest. I'd love to try it out- change it from a predatory scene and bring it back to entertainment, pay the women salary + commissions (and health benefits, dammit) and do like any other smart business does, invest in their training and education. Why not invite dancers to take classes in belly dancing or latin dancing, why not invite design students to design costumes for exotic dancers as part of their coop, why not invite theatre students to coach dancers in drama and showmanship? Make it a grand affair and I think the money would follow. You can still please the fundamental needs of (mostly) men and give them something extra in terms of a unique offering...something more high-end, more theatrical. Just my idealistic two cents. ;) Additional Comments: Yep, you're totally right - that's why I would see this as being the responsibility of the club. They could schedule training hours for dancers to come in to practice when the club is closed to the public. Or they could offer an incentive for dancers to train elsewhere. They do it in other lines of business (like paying tuition for courses or training seminars), why not do it for dancers? Of course, I can only see this happening if dancers became employees, not independent contractors like they are now.

Well now. I was going to stay away from this thread. But hey... I can't. I am a cheater ! Feels like I am at an AA meeting or something. My wife doesn't know about my hobby so right wrong or indifferent I am a cheater. Young kids, marriage romantically dead and beyond repair and for those that want to suggest counselling. Don't. My point here is that my family is together, my kids are happy and have their daddy there, my wife and I get along as what you call parents and room-mates. I am not having an affair with the disgruntled horny wife down the street that causes two divorces. I am cheating. Happily (which may sound sad) in the SP/Hobby world with a very very very select few ladies that I enjoy to spend time with. I am not out prowling for a bbbj or a quickie. I am looking for a few hours here and there with a wonderful lady to share a relaxing yet exciting time with. Whatever happens happens. No strings, no attachments but for me there has developed friendships. I think. lol Which is nice. So there. I am a cheater. Plain and simple. And you know what ? Life is good and I smile more now and am happier this past year+ than I have been in quite some time. Because of that my household is a happier place too. K ... I am done typing now ;)

Didn't see that; even worse, someone with that much time on the site should know better!

As an MA virgin, I decided to check out the MA experience after reading the glowing recommendations of Emily. I arrive at Paradise Spa and think the lobby is well decorated and the receptionist comes out and we do the business end of things and she says have a seat, I will go get Emily. I only sat for a moment and I hear a set of high heels coming, I stand up and the Oh So Hotttt Emily introduces herself and says follow me OK I am completely in awe as I follow her down the hall and yes I was looking at her fantastic ass. Emily gave me a quick tour of the spa and I was very impressed on how well appointed the rooms were. Kudos to Paradise. The very Erotic Emily has a look to her that really turns my crank and her very friendly personality is so welcoming. Emily has such a petite gorgeous body and everything is so divine. So easy on the eyes but hard on the other thing :icon_wink: From start to finish the encounter was Erotic It was my pleasure to have Emily pop my MA experience cherry. Intense to say the least. In summary, I will go see Emily again needless to say this is what I look like now :icon_biggrin:

A lolcats version of "don't feed the troll" maybe?

Well put... and it even goes beyond. Is looking at porn cheating? Is reading erotica cheating? Is a furtive glance at a beautiful woman on the street cheating? Ostensibly, they are mental betrayals, are they not? If you ogle someone on the beach wearing the briefest of bikinis, even if you are with her... is that wrong? I would think that even before you put it on anyone else, you have to see if it makes you feel guilty. Does guilt equate to cheating? Hell, she me be alright with some of things that make you feel guilty. It is like trying to define "right" and "wrong"... ask a million people and you are going to get a million answers. Damn. I do philosophize sometimes.

Cheating is what you've done to yourself when you wake up one day, possibly as an old man or hopefully before that, and realize you've spent your time, your money and your life trying to please others but the guy in the mirror still has things he wants. He's the one to please.

Congratulations........Now get off my lawn! :p Before things get fucking ugly

Jeebus. Mine was awful too. Of course I only have myself to blame for the casting.

Well... what is there to say about Cleo that hasn't been said already? I had the pleasure of making her acquaintance in the recent past, and was greeted by a delightful lady in a very pretty summer dress. Some small talk, some getting to know each other, some getting to know each other a little better... and it soon became apparent that the dress was *all* Cleo was wearing. And soon she wasn't even wearing that any more, and I was scrambling to keep up... There then followed an extended period of awesomeness (well, I thought it was awesome, anyway :) ). Cleo is quite spectacularly good at what she does, but you don't get details; you 'll just have to go and find out the details for yourself! I shall be back to... um... refresh my memory of those details before too long, and, perhaps, discover some new ones....

Simply put, there is no money in fancy stage shows. You make your money hustling selling lapdances, and putting on a fancy stage show hardly makes you money. It's a shame because I really do enjoy a good stage show.

Great thread Ripley!!! I think what you are seeing now is just another step in the evolution of live adult entertainment. We have gone from fan dancers wearing pasties to champagne rooms in just over 60 years. As the show evolved, the need to be a great stage act dissipated - there was no longer a need to have elaborate costumes or choreographed routines - but then again, clubs aren't paying for entertainment anymore, entertainment is paying for the right to use the club. Clubs are looking to maximize profit - more dancers means more revenue and possibly more sales in liquor and food; dancers are looking to maximize profit and frankly the stage does not generate income unless you see it as advertising. Stage time is time away from the client base. To put it another way, we have gone from the days of salary to salary plus commission to straight commission. Commissioned salespeople rarely enjoy compulsory presentations for the "good of the company"; it does not put bread on the table. With all that in mind, there are great entertainers out there. There are plenty of dancers who take a pride in their stage work and do train and choreograph their routines... but that is more a reflection of their personality than the actual requirements of the job. As long as the bottom line is still in the black, I wouldn't think club owners would be willing to expend profit for the sake of art, but then again that is just my opinion. As for the guys, well, let's face it. We want to see lots of beautiful women get naked. It's base. It's primal. It's who we are. The stage routine just let's us see the dancer from different angles. If we wanted "art" we would find alternatives. Essentially it's the 3 b's at strip clubs - boobies, buns and beer.

Music: Pink Floyd: The Great Gig in the Sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBabMxnFQsQ&feature=related Literature: The Prophet by Khalil Gibran The Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig (Phadedrus you should know this one!) Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse The Happy Hooker by Xavier Hollander Record Album Art: Led Zeppelin IV KISS Destroyer: Beatles: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Elton John: Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy Santana: Abraxus Fleetwood Mac: Rumours

I saw on television the other day that there r plans to remake Dirty Dancing I'm sure the other ladies will agree that this is an untouchable! Posted via Mobile Device

So why post this then? Sounds like a totally inappropriate thing to ask anyone to do.

I admire the guts it takes to start talking/emailing one of us. To be open and vulnerable is part of the process, and every man takes a risk when he contacts any of us. We are all beautiful women; the industry demands it. But every man who calls or writes to us knows that beauty is only one aspect of the thing. Really, he wants to like her. Even more, he wants her to like him, but he may feel a lot more like a putz than anyone would know. What if he wants something the companion doesn't do? He doesn't want to offend her, but, frankly, maybe he's had a rough time getting that one special thing, maybe he's never been able to have it. Once he summons his nerve to ask about it, it's hard to hear that she doesn't do it. Maybe she knows someone who does. Maybe she'll consider it after she's met him a time or two. Whatever the case may be, the ball (so to speak) is in her court and he's exposed as a guy who likes, or hopes he will like, that. It's a tough place to be, no question about it. However, on the up-side of things, men who are honest in their vulnerability are wonderfully attractive! Really, they are!

I think everyone needs a breather here and go get laid...:wink:

joy smith is a moral zealot and with a majority conservative government...? it might happen. we are fighting for inclusion in the federal human trafficking strategy development and hope to go through the federal ombudsman for the victims of crime to fight the implementation of any kind of criminalization including criminalize the client. on a personal note; hope everyone in cerb land is well!! love susieXXXO

Oh believe me. I am not a bible preacher so will not bring religion into this dicussion. I'm not a school girl, can hold my own, have no problem expressing sexuality in a respectul manner and this is just a debate. With debate comes understanding. Please refrain from using the bible to describe how any of us feel. Additional Comments: Well, you do bring up good points Pete and do agree to disagree with you on this one respectfully. I really like this thought from Elizabeth: Originally Posted by Elizabeth Saunders While I am fully aware that my opinion will not stop threads that focus on a particular body part or menu item, it would be appreciated by many escorts if those of you who participate in these threads could keep something in mind: First and foremost, we are human beings.....not just sperm sockets. We are complex people and the interactions we undertake with you affect us in many ways. This is not a business like any other. While you have the right to expect professionalism, it is upsetting to us when we are broken down to simply what we do or how we look. Because let's face it, it isn't just a pair of breasts or a warm mouth that greets you at the door, it is a whole person.

I'm glad you bring this up. I find it really hard to negotiate "safer" services in the context of a GFE which is my specialty. The way I see it, a girlfriend would be very concerned about the sexual health of her lover, and so should I. People get confused at the suggestion of protection for DATY and BJs. I've discovered that making safer sex sexy is really a skill, and I'm proud to be on my way to mastering it. There are all kinds of considerations in a safer encounter that are often left unconsidered. I try always for example to make sure that one hand is devoted to my own body and one to my client's so that my hands don't transmit any fluids. I wish more people spent more time considering their own safety especially considering the emergence of such niceties as drug-resistant gonorrhea. I would sleep a lot better at night if I knew that people all took their sexual health as seriously as I do. It calms my mind to know that I'm not the only one. Thanks, Hornet, for caring so much about your health. It contributes to all of us who participate in this industry. I wish you a great deal of happy, healthy, consensual sex. xooo, Eva

Having been away from the board for a couple of weeks, returning to see this thread is a little surprising. Seems like we can't avoid diving into some controversy every now and again... :-) Hornet, I get that you're frustrated with an encounter (or encounters) that didn't meet your expectations, but I don't think it's fair to blame this on faulty recos. I would encourage you to re-examine your expectations...of both your encounters and what you find here on CERB. First off, the encounters: it is unfortunate when the reality of an encounter doesn't match up with the scenario we had playing around in our heads, but it is a reality of this hobby, and you should be careful about even assuming your encounter with an SP can be generalized to all encounters with that SP. As we so often say, Your Mileage May Vary, and that doesn't just apply to services, it applies to everything about the encounter. The lovely ladies we're seeing are not selling cars that come off an assembly line...and above all else, you need to remember that they are people, too, and everyone has a bad day at some point. I get paid for my job, too, but that doesn't mean that I perform the same way every day that I go to work. Most days my employer gets 10-12 extremely productive hours out of me, but every now and then they wind up with 6 hours of me socializing, surfing the internet, or making plans for the weekend. Please note that I'm not trying to make excuses for what sounds like a disappointing experience...I'm just encouraging you to accept it as something that does happen once in a while, rather than trying to turn it into a "lesson" for all SPs. As you've already seen on this thread, the SPs who put a great deal of effort into making sure that most of their clients' expectations are met aren't going to take too kindly to that kind of "lesson". Now, as for the recos here on CERB...of course they're not telling you the whole story. As the tag line says, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. That isn't a mantra designed to put all "truth" out on the table, it's a recognition of the fact that we, as a large collection of anonymous people, are not capable of sticking to "truth" when there are no controls put on us. When I first started hobbying about three years ago, I used some of the other boards as well, and quickly became frustrated with how often the threads dissolved into extremely negative and childish behaviour. The rules here prevent this board from becoming like that, but of course that comes at a cost. It means we as hobbyists need to be a little more careful about how we read the recos, and as someone else mentioned, we need to be able to read between the lines as well. But I'll gladly take that in order to maintain some sense of community here. Besides, it's not like those other boards aren't still around for you to make use of, if you really want to. As for the mod becoming the arbiter of recos, I think he'd be the first to tell you that he doesn't have that kind of time. What you suggest would require a large investment of resources, and you need to understand that CERB isn't the money-maker here...it's the board that is provided to us in concert with EC, and I'm pretty sure we already take enough of the mod's time as it is. :-) I hope my points above provide some perspective, particularly on why most of the other members are reacting to your comments and suggestions.

I'm going to try my best to attend the social. I'm so excited about meeting everyone and visiting Ottawa again. It's been too many years.