How do you feel about your secret life?

[Guest s******ecan****]

How do you feel about your secret life as part of the escort (Sex worker, Prostitution for the purists) industry?

 

I'm asking this of both SP's and Clients. I know some live openly (more common among SP's I believe) but I believe that represents a small minority. Most of us keep this a very close secret indeed. In my case no one else knows, not my SO, my brother, nor my best friend. I'm not Catholic but even if I was I don't think I would even bring it up at confession.

 

At times I admit I find it thrilling and fun to have this secret. At other times I am fearful and question my judgement since the risks associated with discovery are high. Still at other times I feel guilty and selfish.

 

I have come close many times to sharing my secret, sometimes out of a sense of bragadaccio, sometimes to share the wisdom that comes with the timelessness of our industry, other times to unload some of the burden of carrying this secret (maybe I would confess if I were Catholic LOL).

 

There have been many times when I have been almost caught (CERB left open on my laptop), it seems inevitable my secret will be discovered eventually by someone. As far as being seen with an SP this is in my case not an issue since my work takes me all over my city meeting with a variety of people out in public. Its not uncommon for friends of mine to bump into me with complete strangers. I even meet with some clients of my business in Hotels, so it is not unusual for me to be seen in those venues.

 

Still it is a strange thing to live this double life, thoughts anyone....

[Cleo Catra 178382]

This is a hard question for me, because for the most part, I have no 'secret' life. I keep a lot of my personal details secret, of course, but in my real life, everyone knows what I do. I even told my sister last time I saw her. The only time it's strange for me is when I meet a new person, or a casual acquaintance, and they ask what I'm up to now - I see no reason to drop the bomb on them, because it would create more drama in the quick meeting than is necessary, so I make up some lame excuse. And that feels weird to me - I don't like hiding who I am, I see no real reason for it.

 

I of course understand that not everyone feels the same, my comments above are about ME and about me only. Believe me, I had no reason to hid this from my friends - the reaction, pretty much across the board, was 'well, she does love to fuck!!!', hahahah!

[Guest S**a*Q]

I'm not secretive about it... Well I don't walk around yelling about what I do, but my close friends all know what I do for a living.

 

I think that they understand what I do more, having been explained to them how I conduct my business. They aren't worried that I am on a street corner, or run the risk of getting hurt as much with venues such as Cerb.

 

It's also simpler as I answer my phone in front of people, *(I'm always around others it seems) So saying "Yeah, it's 250$ an hour, no I don't do anal..." Makes sense to them now, and doesn't shock them. LOL!

 

There are those that I don't tell at all, ex: The parents or any family for that matter, and friends that I don't trust all that much. To them I'm just a consultant, which I am anyways, but I don't tell them about my main job. It's all about self-preservation!

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I am a teacher so I feel very much like I'm living a double life. To be honest, I kind of get a thrill out of it. I don't worry too much about being discovered. I want to avoid it because it would be a huge pain, but I honestly think my students and their parents would stick by me because I'm a fabulous teacher and they've known me for years.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

When I worked as a stripper I responded cheeky like this:

 

Them: What do you do for work?

Me: I work in sales

Them: What do you sell?

Me: Lapdances

[Ashley Ann 75247]

The only ones who know my secret are my sister & my best friend, and of course my special friends ;)

 

I guess you could say I have a split personality because, most of the time, I like my job, I love the freedom, the excitement & yup uh huh..the MONEY!! Then there are days, when I am like, you really need to get it together and leave this business and start putting your energy into something else that makes me feel good, something I can be open about, not secretive about!!! Right now, my family is constantly asking me "what the hell do you do all day??" Why aren't you working..( I have 3 college diplomas) .....that question makes me feel like shit, cause I really would like to make my family proud of me again, and NO this would not do it for them!!!

 

I have always been rather open, sexually..however, I must admit due to the stigma that comes along with exposing your secret life...I will never be open about it.

 

1st reason, I am a mother, and I have a daughter ( whom I NEVER EVER want her to do this)

 

2nd reason, this is something I have chosen to do when I feel to do it, it is not something I am interested in making a full blown career out of , I still want to pursue other options....I plan to continue on pursuing a 9-5 business career, I like that type of work, and because I really do want a pension & I want to have benefits) (FED GOV) , so I will NEVER expose myself...my worst fear is to be interviewed or start a job...and someone there knows me....

 

As we know, there are plenty of lurkers out there, this is why I would never show my face in my pics .....people are cruel....I would hate to know my face pic would be floating around out there somewhere or even worse someone showing it to my daughter.....As a mother, I must do what I need to do sometimes, however, I think it is IMPERATIVE that I be ULTRA DISCREET for the well being of my child.

 

I am worried about, the judgement, harshness & disrespect that comes with exposing yourself or even worse being exposed by some one else is something I never want to experience. This is biggest secret I have had to keep!!!

[R1300 151]

Vanessa darling, This is meant in the nicest of ways....OK!

 

I don't think you need to show your face to be found out. Wow you have some other very unique and wonderful attributes.

[mrgreen760 37785]

No one in my "normal" world has a clue. And there is no one I would ever share this knowledge with.

 

I look at it this way....life is very very short and all things have a shelf life. Not sure how much of a shelf life hobbying has left for me. I try to be very selective and try to fly under the radar so to speak. I've met some great gals by and large and it is what it is. It's sort of like smoking pot for me, I can take it or leave it.......I'm just better when I take it :)

 

In the end I'm just trying to do the best I can and cause as little harm as possible.

 

Peace

MG

[stevecurious 42059]

Honestly I have never admitted to anyone that I have a "hobby" such as this and I can not ever see myself telling anyone. It is not that I am ashamed, fearful, nervous or anything of the sort. To be truthful I don't think people that are not involved in this "hobby" of mine can or would understand it as a whole. Generally speaking I find that unless people are experienced in something, prostitution in this case, they will never fully understand it. I know what I am doing and I understand the risks and benefits of "hobbying" and I am both comfortable with and prepared for the consequences. This however does not mean that I will ever take any unnecessary risks...especially by talking about it. In my view discretion starts and ends with the decisions I make and the fewer people in my "other life" that know about my lady friends the better and safer it is for me and my marriage.

[spud271 47779]

I have never hidden any of this from anyone in my life. I have no reason to, I was always the wild child growing up and none of my hobbying came as a shock to anyone. I feel no reason to be ashamed or to feel any level of guilt about any of this. I have always enjoyed myself and have met many wonderful people over the years as a hobbyiest and hope to continue to do the same till the end of my days. :D

[Loki318 1631]

I have been in the hobby for a long time started Oct 1981 was dam near "caught" first time out of the gate, but fast thinking a an alliby kept me safe, and from that day I have been extra carefull and lucky..... a lot Lucky :) . In fact for many reasons I consider myself the luckist man in the world! and I tell my SO and all my special ladys that every chance I get .....:twisted:

 

There are two people in the Straight world that have had a peek into my secret world, one guy and one lady (not sp) ... The guy because we have a couple of times hobbied together .... there is nothing like haveing as much dirt on your best buddy as he has on you LOL .... The lady is a confidant and we have shared a few secrets with each other but, she may know some of the hobby life I have, but not the extent or many details...

 

I live in a small community 2600 people! and my job requires me know almost all of them and them me SO I Do NOT hobby in my home town at all ... I am currently trying to figure out how to continue this hobby into retirement, can we really hobby on a fixed income? .... Got it! I'll write a book under an assumed name of couurse, on how to keep it Up for years ..all the things I did right and all the things I did wrong ... Maybe it will become a movie ! I'll be rich and hobby for ever LOL

 

A good thread :) sorry I rambled a bit and for the spelling errors checker dosent seem to be working here...

 

Loki318

[roamingguy 300291]

Started hobbying July 2010. Don't tell a soul about it...not that I'm embarassed or ashamed, but it's my private life, nobody's business.

Also, I came into hobbying after decades of dating...none worked out, and tired of the games. Hobbying allows for a fun time, with no long term expectations.

Being single, there is no risk to me if someone found out. My friends might razz me a bit, till I tell them it only cost me a few hundred dollars (depending on the lady), and I certainly haven't risked losing my property, salary, pension etc (yeah, some of them have in so called legit relationships)

And one more note, the ladies I've thus far met have been great, not only personable and intelligient, but great looking too...certainly not the stereotype the public would have us believe

RG

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Good thread Scott and thanks for sharing your thoughts to get it going.

I think you have to be discrete about it because in general most people are closed minded.

I would not tell anyone for the sake of telling but if the right person were to breach the subject and they were sincere I might discuss it.

I don't feel there is anything to be guilty about and certainly not ashamed. All the people I have met here have treated me with kindness and respect.

 

I do find that I have to keep track of where I heard something because sometimes in a conversation I want to say " yes (insert CERB handle) mentioned that same thing" or something like that. I always catch myself. I have passwords on my computers and just put them to sleep if I leave or they go off on their own. If I leave I log out anyway out of habit.

 

Even though it is a secret, it's not a bad thing, it's just a different thing and as long as it is fun and positive place I am happy to be here and will be staying.

 

Thanks to all my secret friends, you are great!

 

J

[Cato 160314]

Great thread, Scott. I try to maintain my privacy, but have shared my secrets with my two best male friends. I have absolute trust in both of them. I haven't attended cerb socials for reasons of discretion, but am increasingly tempted to do so. We'll see. I have met a couple of guys from the board for drinks, which was fun, but don't do that very often. An Australian punting companion visited me here too in the summer, resulting in Cato's Night Out, one of my better summer evenings. But usually I'm careful of my identity.

On the other hand, as I've spent a lot of time in a certain strip club, I could be easily spotted there, and was by some work mates on one occasion.

 

Funny thing: I frequently met board members at public functions when I lived in Australia, though I guess the risks of disclosure were somewhat less-- a much bigger city than my current residence, but I think it mainly was down to the different culture there, where you just feel less inhibited.

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Some of my friends know, some don't. If my devout Roman Catholic parents ever found out though...well let's not think about that! lol Truth of the matter is, I've never been happier with this newly secret life of mine! I hate being dishonest, but I think every girl deserves to have some secrets! ;)

[roamingguy 300291]

Some of my friends know, some don't. If my devout Roman Catholic parents ever found out though...well let's not think about that! lol Truth of the matter is, I've never been happier with this newly secret life of mine! I hate being dishonest, but I think every girl deserves to have some secrets! ;)

 

Your secret is safe with me ;)

RG :rolleyes:

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

As you and I have previously discussed (in fact that's how we started communicating) I fully understand you as my reason to keep this part of my life private is just like you for respect to my parents. But we are not being dishonest, only keeping stuff to ourselves.

If my devout Roman Catholic parents ever found out though...well let's not think about that! lol Truth of the matter is, I've never been happier with this newly secret life of mine! I hate being dishonest, but I think every girl deserves to have some secrets! ;)

 

To me as Johnsutter mentioned is not easy to bring up something from here when having a conversation since this has become a part of my life but my brain hasn't betrayed me yet :)

 

I know (like most of us) I will not do this forever but I have been so lucky to have met some beautiful people and memories of that will always stay with me so it will always be my secret.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I often describe it as the smile of my face that nobody else understands :))

 

Peace

MG

[Amanda Bella 421]

Sometimes i feel ashamed depends who

are we refering to.

 

If someone rejects parts of me, them this person

will not become my friend right?

The people that truly matters to me in my family, knows what i do.

They need to know to be able to be there for me

when things get tough.

 

My good close friends are sex workers or have been

sex workers, which makes it easier.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Pretty much everybody leads multiple, or compartmentalized, lives in one form or another. Most everyone has a number of different faces that they present to the world, depending on the circumstance. I don't think I've ever felt this particular aspect of my life to be truly strange.

 

As far as the secretiveness part goes -- for me personally, I have no SO, and, being retired, I have no employer. So right off the top, this means that I have a reduced list of secrecy imperatives, compared to many folks.

 

My closest family (siblings) are all hard-workers who have raised a number of children. Although the Protestant work ethic (my heritage as well as theirs) served me well in my decades masquerading as a "productive" member of society, my life-long shunning of the option of biologically reproducing (among other things) has left me permanently out-of-step with my siblings' outlook on the world. Any public exposure of myself as a hobbyist would only confirm the already entrenched (and accurate) opinion of my family that I'm a bit of a misfit -- so secrecy is not really a concern as far as my familial reputation goes.

 

The thing that I would feel slightly uncomfortable about admitting to my family is the fact that I have spent so much money on the luxury of hobbying, instead of spending it like my siblings have done -- on serious stuff, such as raising a family (see Protestant Work Ethic, above). For exactly the same reason, I have habitually downplayed to them the cost of certain other luxuries that they can't help but know I indulge in (books, art, etc). I don't feel guilty about actually spending my hard-earned money "frivolously" (if you will), but I choose to spare myself the reaction that would inevitably follow if my family's attention were ever drawn to the full extent of any of these financial frivolities.

 

I am sure that my oldest and closest friends would be delighted to discover that one of my hobbies is not entirely mainstream, and would fully approve of it. However, although we have spent many hours over our lifetimes in (relatively tame) "disreputable" activities together, they have also long been married, and their wives have almost all become as close friends to me as they are. So, on those occasions when the subject of escorts has happened to come up in our conversations, my reaction has always been to clam up tight as a drum. Since they appear not to be hobbying, I would die of guilt if anything I might say to them on the subject happened to tip their theoretical interest in it over the edge, and they took hobbying up on a practical basis. In that case, I would feel I had been instrumental in abetting the betrayal of their wives, who are also now my close and long-time friends themselves. So ... while I am confident that I would face no direct disapproval from my friends if my hobbying was revealed, my conscience still dictates secrecy.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

I have only been in this business for a few months and I absolutley love the "secret" path I have taken!

 

For me it is a way to allow the sexual naughty part of me I always knew existed come alive!

I have chosen to let mostly everyone I know into my little world. There is trust there that I know, if anything, I would not be "revealed" to people I wouldn't otherwise want to know.

 

My hometown is very small and I am constantly running into old friends and other people I know. I do not feel as though I need to hide who I am, because this is who I am, and I believe that if someone does not agree with my chosen way of life, and has then decided to judge me, then they are not the type of people I would enjoy having in my little bubble.

 

However there is a limit to the amount of openness I have about it. I dont parade around screaming I am proud of who I am but I do scream it on the inside!

 

Its really exhilerating to be part of this age old industry and I hope I can be part of it until I decide to retire or my hips give out ;)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Only one other person knows of my secret life. I love the naughtiness of being a seductrice by day and the prim and proper girl next door all the rest of the time! I am in no way ashamed of my chosen path but because of society's view on this issue, I am not prepared to "come out" yet. My previous job was very straight laced and I was constantly dealing with clients and suppliers who may not view this as a good move (although behind closed bedroom doors, they seem to think it's great lol, so I guess I lied...a few people from my "real life" have snuck in) I suppose that is why I so value my inclusion in cerbland. I have made some very good friends that I can rely on for help and advice!