Not allowed to say no?

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I have been dealing with a situation for quite a while and now i am having the 2 same situation in a different regions..

I am curious of your opinions...thoughs...

If i feel that someone is not compatible to me...someone that has done something that i considere a no no...I tell them that i do not wish to see them...Why is it so hard for some to understand that and respect my decision?The first situation has been in manitoba....It is getting ridiculous to the point of changing email,name,phone number and not having static IP and having mutiple handles..

The other situation has been calling every week mutiple time a week at any time to solicitate that i visit his city...Now changing emails and name...

a third situation the person nearly harass me on 5 different names and emails to get banned from here not wanting to fit my requirements but insist on meeting

I have notice in past tread that some of you(gents) have comment that if a girl refuse to see you..*** this you would still try to see her and sneak in by changing name...etc...

Does it mean to some of you that we aren't allow to choose who we see..That if we feel that someone have a stalkish personality or disrespectful,that is simply not compatible and the app will be miserable that we have no choice to not see you?Yes i can understand that maybe i said maybe i could have a wrong impression of the person but why insisting in a sneaky way?

I am so confuse as for me if someone clearly stated to me not wanting to be in my compagny i cannot even imagine how a session could be great...Maybe i am not soly bussiness...But seeing the behavior described before really discusted me and make me despite those people..hate them without even knowing them....

It does not want me to give you the time of you life ..Far from it to be polite

I am currently in a dilemma...Getting my booking requirements more stick for those 2 regions and penalize many nice gents...

Or..........

You inputs would be appreciate

VJ

[mrgreen760 37785]

Personally I'd rather be told no than be ignored. I can handle a no but being ignored is just plain rude in my view. Not sure why some one would want to see a provider who didn't want to see them. Doesn't seem like fun to me.

 

My pet peeve this year has been what I call the tyranny of the minority. When the minority screws up it's the majority whom seem to pay the price. And that doesn't seem fair some how.

 

Peace

MG

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Absolutely unacceptable! Remain stern and stick by your guns. Why should you have to explain yourself or have to put up with harassing phone calls, texts or emails just because you said no to someone? That's not fair! Nor is it productive or effective or his part. You have my support as well ma belle, but sadly, no suggestions. Any references I can help you with in Manitoba, don't hesitate. :D

[Two Thirty 1422]

Victoria,

 

Please be assured that you are NOT in the wrong. No should mean no.

 

Unfortunately, there will be people who, despite hearing you say "No", do not listen. For these people, there a few things you can do to help them understand.

 

However, you do have control over what YOU do. May I suggest adding a screening program? Such screening could take the form of a few choice questions (on your cerb advertisements? your website?) that you would require a reply to in order to help you infer the soundness of the person who would have the privilege of your company. I know of a couple of MAs who do this sort of screening, and it seems to work for them.

 

This sounds like a hassle, but you are putting your time and your whole self on the line. So, a bit of pre- emptive screening might help.

 

'Just a suggestion...

 

Regardless, take good care of yourself!

[shymale 10234]

no means no. Victoria you hlod all the cards, you have the wright to see who you want.

[roamingguy 300291]

Victoria

You are not in the wrong, No means No...not maybe, not later, not I'll think about it...No means no.

Escapes me why someone would want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. And I can't imagine an encounter being enjoyable under those circumstances. But if I was in your shoes, I would be first and formost concerned about safety. These individuals sound possessive and controlling, rather than hobbiests interested in the company of a lady

Don't really have any advice on what to do. But I'm sure if your screening methods changed the majority of guys, even if inconvenienced, would understand. You have to think of your safety and welfare first, before anything/anyone else

Hope that helps

Good luck

RG

[ottanon 2930]

Hi Victoria,

 

You just need to be firm adn tell them Your not going to see them again and not to call or contact you. I am so sorry this is happening to you.. It can only be that you are so beatiful and so go at what you do, that these guys consider it a loss they cannot accept. You might also want to contact thier ISP and tell them you are being harrased.

 

As a side note, cant wait for you to get back to Ottawa..

[BarrhavenWoody 10776]

I totally agree with what the other members have said. Obviously, your initial instincts or screening worked to identify these guys as unacceptable. Their subsequent behavious only confirms that you are right.

 

Good luck!

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Having a receptionnist (a girl) cuts almost all of them. By her dealing with clients instead of you, and her hosting them, she'll be able to see if the situaion is safe or not. Also, by hosting them, the stalker will realize that you are protected. This way, you have the choice of showing up...

 

Also, having a paid line connected to your cell phone will limit not serious calls...

[alexgrenyait 2186]

Hi Victoria

I truly do not understand why a person would do that.I put myself in their shoes and still do not understand it.It does tell you you were correct with your decision,always go by your gut instinct,always.A wise lady once told me(a lady off this board)we can fire our clients.She is right we choose who we want to spend time with as they choose us,so I dont believe we have to give a reason of why just that we can or will not see them.Naturally we do not want to hurt peoples feeling needlessly sometimes we really have to practice tact and a white lie here or to.I myself have had similiar things happen to me,it is unfortunate as because of it we have to become more strict with our screening process.i hope everything works out for you xooxalex

[JoyfulC 132299]

But it does happen. I've been told that it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of age or race, and for many businesses, I'd agree that they should not discriminate. For example, a diner should not be allowed to deny service to someone on such basis. However our business is somewhat different in that our level of comfort with someone makes all the difference in the world.

 

For me, it is younger guys -- I'm just not into them. Wasn't even when I was younger myself. And still some will try to insist and, regrettably even find a way to lie and sneak into an appointment. In a case like that, what can you do? It puts an SP in a very difficult situation.

 

Sorry this is happening to you, Victoria. I recommend that you ask prospective customers for a phone number where you can phone them back. It's not impossible for someone to get a new phone number, but it's a little more trouble, and so it might make it easier for you to track and identify those you wish to avoid.

[Loralee Reach 245]

Oh Victoria.....this can not be happening to someone as nice as you!!!! I really feel bad because this is more common than what the gentlemen think, and as Joyful C said it is more common when we mature ladies do not accept to meet with a young male.

Have you considered to work with a bodyguard? do not laugh, as you know they do it in Germany and Netherlands, and here in Canada are several very high-end ladies with bodyguards.

It is absolutely awful, our Roaming guy also said that your instincts were well tuned and you knew who u did not want to meet, however, that is not enough stop for a stalker and these guys seem obsessed with you as a stalker would be....

Do not punish your clients in those provinces because of the "chaff" just get someone to protect you and contact the police if you feel in danger.....

All the best Victoria, you do not deserve this!!!!

Hope it gets solved for your peace of mind....

Loralee

[40ishsxaddict 203]

Your safety obviously comes first! Go with your gut instinct and don't 2nd guess yourself. Anyone trying to manipulate you into changing your mind should set off big alarm bells! Manipulative men (people) are the most dangerous...

[crillin 54]

Yes i can understand that maybe i said maybe i could have a wrong impression of the person but why insisting in a sneaky way?

 

For me, this sentence tells me a lot about the kind of woman you are Vic. Sometimes things get lost in translation but I know you are a kind, compassionate woman and sadly some guys will abuse this. The fact that you are even entertaining the idea that you may have the 'wrong impression' of these individuals makes me want to give you a hug. I would imagine most people would not even give these individuals a second thought and have them blacklisted/dealt with appropriately.

 

I am so confuse as for me if someone clearly stated to me not wanting to be in my compagny i cannot even imagine how a session could be great...Maybe i am not soly bussiness...But seeing the behavior described before really discusted me and make me despite those people..hate them without even knowing them....

 

It looks like you already know what the outcome will be even if you gave these guys a chance. So the real question is, why even think about saying yes to these people and put yourself through that? During our time together I told you that I think respect is the most important thing to any relationship whether it is on family/friendship/intimate level. Without it you can't build anything else like trust or comfort. It appears to me that these guys don't respect you at all and hence all the silly games and hoops that they make you jump through. I would say that they can't take a 'no' and should be even more reason for you to stand firm on your principles...it has guided you safely thus far...non? The good guys will respect whatever you decide to do and will make the effort to see you nonetheless.

[renegade 11027]

Hi Vic i,m so sorry you are having troubles you have every right to refuse to see whoever you wish and they should accept it. Their failure to accept it proves your intuition was right. As a person from one of your problem area,s I apologise on behalf of the real gentleman of this province and i would understand your reluctance to travel our way. However i believe your safety is of the upmost importance. Someone that refuses to accept your decision isn,t playing with a full deck and should be considered dangerous if it continues he should be reported as a stalker to the local police.

[quick25 137]

Well who you want to see is up to you, and only you. I think in my case if someone told me that they did not want to, it would hurt my feelings. It is hard to take, but life moves on, and if someone keeps stalking you, then I think you had made the right choice. I really think it is the bond that you had made with the sp that has been damaged, and being told this I would not come back because it would not be the same. :(

[Apex2006 1071]

To the people that are harassing VJ!

STOP NOW!

If you make us lose VJ because of your selfishness of not understand that these wonderful providers do have the capability of picking any man they want and telling the rest of us that they don't want to see us any more, you will have an angry MOB after you.

VJ is a stellar woman and is incredibly sexy, but come on people

NO MEANS NO!

VJ, please do not judge us all on a couple of yahoos that have no respect for women.

ALL WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO. PLEASE RESPECT THAT!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I truly feel for you Vic...I am currently going through the same type of experience. No means nothing but then again ignoring him makes it worse. Hopefully they will all get kicked in the head with the knowledge that it just won't change our minds!!!

[Apex2006 1071]

I truly feel for you Vic...I am currently going through the same type of experience. No means nothing but then again ignoring him makes it worse. Hopefully they will all get kicked in the head with the knowledge that it just won't change our minds!!!

 

 

WTF guys, can we not just let them do their jobs? if they don't want to see you, CHANGE!

Respect goes a long way! Please respect our ladies.

 

Apex

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

WTF guys, can we not just let them do their jobs? if they don't want to see you, CHANGE!

 

Respect goes a long way! Please respect our ladies.

 

Apex

 

Thank you Apex :)

[Origin 268]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I feel really bad you are going through this. As unfortunate as it is it is however more common than we think.

 

All the members have given great advice.

 

You are a wonderful woman. You deserve respect. Your self-worth is unmeasurable. You have the right to automony and no one should be able to take that away from you. People how try to manipulate, bully and force you into something you do not to participate in do not respect you hence, do not deserve your attention.

 

You provide a service as we all do in some capacity. We all have the right to with draw that service. There are always others that want out services therefore we will have that attention and loosing a few will not jeapordize our livelyhood.

 

Those that are insensitive to your requests should be ignored. If there is grounds to seek the authorities help that should to sought. The people will hopefully move on and not be after you anymore only if you do not give into their adolescence.

 

Hopefully they will be stuck by lightening to jumpstart thier brains into realizing they are human beings and not neanderthals (actually neanderthals probably wouldn't have done that)

 

I hope everything resolves quickly and without further trouble.

[Lowdark 5613]

Every woman has the right to say no, regardless of what they do. These fools seem to be under the gross misunderstanding that being an SP guarantees them your time and company when they couldn't be further from the truth. Their behaviour reflects their inferior character and they are guilty of stalking, plain and simple. They aren't worth a hearbeat of your time and I suspect that deep down they know that and that's why they're harrassing you so persistently, hoping against hope that their stubborn determination works. It is truly unfortunate that you have to endure this and I am sincerely sorry. In the end I hope it all works out but just realize that the people with common sense and decency (fortunately still the majority here) support you and are behind you. Good luck.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

VJ,

 

You have right of who you want to see and who you don't. I don't think these type of guys taken rejection well. And by changing emails, phone numbers, IP addresses, it just tells you what their motives really are. Also given the fact that they don't want to abide by your screening policies screams volumes. No means no and they should just move on. They should realize they are not your type of client. If all else fails and it gets really bad, threaten to take legal action against them.

 

When an SP doesn't want to see someone, she shouldn't be harassed. This includes serial phone calling. I had a guy call me 18 times in one day and not leave one single message. That is a red flag right there. Another texted the hell out of my phone wondering why I wasn't answering him back. Umm, maybe because I've been innundated with text after text from you within minutes of each other. A grand total of 8 texts in 20 minutes. And because you are a known time waster.

 

If you don't hear back from an SP either she is busy so trying again doesnt hurt but not 10 times in a few hours. If she never gets back to you and you've never ever talked to her, she doesn't want to see you for a valid reason.

[sexy bbw vero 425]

same Happened to me couple of times ... In Ottawa as well as in Montreal.

 

Like you, I don't understand what they think they gonna win if they finally booked without we know it is the same person ... I mean, if I already have meet the person one time and I told him that I prefer to not see him anymore ... If he manage to arrive to my door ... I will say no still he's at the door. :rolleyes:

[mod 135639]

To the people that are harassing VJ!

STOP NOW!

If you make us lose VJ because of your selfishness of not understand that these wonderful providers do have the capability of picking any man they want and telling the rest of us that they don't want to see us any more, you will have an angry MOB after you.

VJ is a stellar woman and is incredibly sexy, but come on people

NO MEANS NO!

VJ, please do not judge us all on a couple of yahoos that have no respect for women.

ALL WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO. PLEASE RESPECT THAT!

 

I know you want to help and you mean well... but posts like this (threads like this really) do not help these situations... they actually add fuel to the fire. The guy is getting some sort of reaction from this and often that is just prolonging the issue. Calling someone out never really helps.