How do you feel about being alone?

[Nathalie L 112512]

How do you value your a(lone) time? How do you feel about being alone and/or lonely? How do you feel about the attachment we have to our cell phones, laptops, and ipods?

 

I feel like we're constantly connected to something that may/may not be real. I feel like this 'connection' (virtual or otherwise) might infringe on our abilities to connect with people that are right in front of us.

 

For example, I really miss just sitting on the bus and smiling at people. Being completely and utterly receptive to the present moment. I miss the time when it was more acceptable to start a random conversation with someone, before we all started hanging out with our cell phones.

 

This is a really cool video that might inspire the thread - have fun with your responses:

[Mister T 45020]

Love being alone ..... early morning in the summer .... coffee in hand at a local coffee shop ... looking out, glancing at the paper, smiling at people, small breeze, walking slowly back home while taking in the sun, no pressure at all.

 

Got to love it, trying to reach for that inner peace....

[Guest o*****24]

Personally, I enjoy my "me" time. It is a chance to relax and just collect my thoughts. While I do have my phone, and my laptop, there are days where I turn both off...much to the annoyance of friends, and some bosses.

 

I find that many people are so wrapped up in their technological toys, that they forget how to interact with people. I found this a little shocking when I was in Vegas last month.

 

Alone time is a true chance to be you. A practice that is sometimes lost in the day to day rush of life. It's those moment where you can unplug, and just be. No expectation, no stress, just you!

[Guest J***u]

I hate it.Throughout the years friends entered and left my life to the point where I only trust people half way.Been betrayed by friends who I called my brothers.I'm ranting again I'm sorry

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I spend a lot of time alone and even though I have friends, I often think of myself as a loner. I like the peace and serenity it often gives me to sometimes just not deal with the bullshit and drama that comes along with having other people in your lives even though you do love and care about them. Even though I'm alwyas busy, I now manage to take time for me everyday whereas a few years ago I took care of everyone else but myself. I've learned to become selfish in a good way. Sometimes I will just abandon my cell phone and shut the world out for a few hours. I turn it back on and everyone asks where the hell I've been wondering if I'm alright.

[TGirl-Kay 7484]

Wow what a stunning video. Thanks for shareing it Nathalie :)

I enjoy alone time when I get to choose when it happens, all too often though being alone is work related for me. My day job can put me on a job site away from other people for a week or more at a time. Not haveing any one to talk too realy starts to play with my head after a while and I find I have to seek out other people.

[roamingguy 300291]

Liked it...love being alone, wait change that, being single.

Most of my time is alone, master of the remote control, no waiting to use the bathroom etc etc etc...sometimes I even shut the phone off

To be completely alone, no, I have family that I visit, friends I hang out with, not to mention my monthly dates with ladies.

But for all the time spent with family,friends, ladies make me appreciate both my alone time, and conversely my time alone makes me appreciate time spent with them

RG

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Being single and alone is great now and I enjoy it. When I come after work I want complete silence and rest. No kids playing in the backyard or fighting in the living rooms. No wife complaining, no loud TV. All the space to myself..... Note that i said it is great now but they tell me when I grow old I am going to regret it deeply as no one will be around to take care of me at the time of sickness or need and no one wants to be friends with me then. They tell me I will be a very lonely old guy. I guess they tell me this so that I get married now. But I like variety and hobbying, so it would be hard for me now. Who knows may be if the conservatives win a majority, then I will get married (if you know what I mean :icon_wink:).

[Nathalie L 112512]

I've learned to become selfish in a good way. Sometimes I will just abandon my cell phone and shut the world out for a few hours. I turn it back on and everyone asks where the hell I've been wondering if I'm alright.

 

I know the feeling! There's a societal expectation to be constantly connected to everyone, and when we actively avoid doing that, people get worried, think you've died, think you're weird...

 

I think it's really important to be selfish. Ultimately, no one has your best interests at heart but yourself and you'll be more available to people if you take care of yourself first.

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

As far as being single/alone goes, I love the fact that as long as I show up to work and my rent's paid on time I don't have to answer to a god damn soul!

 

And yeah, some quiet alone time, no cell phone, internet, etc. is sweet as well. It seems like humans have an almost pathological need to stay connected to everything nowadays. I don't get it.

[Guest e**m***h]

I know the feeling! There's a societal expectation to be constantly connected to everyone, and when we actively avoid doing that, people get worried, think you've died, think you're weird...

 

I think it's really important to be selfish. Ultimately, no one has your best interests at heart but yourself and you'll be more available to people if you take care of yourself first.

 

How thoughtful and how true. I am learning to be alone again and there is so much to this. Takes more than I ever imagined. Yet so rewarding. For the first time in countless years I have remembered what it is to be serene. I found I have been speaking to people more attentively. And laughing more.

 

This is a really good post, Nathalie.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I have one word to say the previous question.

"How do you feel about being alone"...

 

I say NO!

I have no use for alone time.

 

I seem to be able to run two brains...

One brain for the alone time and the second which craves friends.

There's not a moment in time that I want to be alone.

 

I think that leads to my constant online-persona.

If I'm not on here I'm on FB, or MSN, or... (everything else I'm on...)

 

I miss the friends that I've made in my travels.

I'm not alright with no being able to talk to the girls I miss in Tbay.

I'm not alright with the guys (and girls) I left behind before that.

 

I think that I've spent too much of my time with people, so now I thrive in the presence of others.

 

I was raised with constant attention.

My parents were strict, but I hung out (a lot) with my brother, and my mom n dad.

I did family things, trips and camping and the like...

There was little time to play alone.

I never came back to an empty house, I was never a latchkey kid.

There was always a parent or a guardian.

We were, and still are, a close family.

 

When I moved out at 16, I missed that family.

Extenuating circumstances lead me to not be able to see them...

At that moment of the loss of my family, my friends became that family.

I enveloped myself with them, as they have time for me.

 

Nowadays, I'm still close to the fam, however distance adds to the issue of seeing them all the time.

 

I don't think I need alone time... I love people.

However, people may need a break from me. ;)

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Having just come back from six-weeks spent mostly alone (or with people I'd just met), this is something I've already been thinking about a lot. I value my time alone, and can't understand people who don't. Today, I was with four of my closest friends, and while we were hanging out 3 had cell phones open and one had a laptop. It made me wish I was back in Australia, peacefully enjoying my time alone.

[Nathalie L 112512]

Today, I was with four of my closest friends, and while we were hanging out 3 had cell phones open and one had a laptop. It made me wish I was back in Australia, peacefully enjoying my time alone.

 

Mhm... those situations make me ponder quite a bit. Texting, facebooking, IMing... it seems to stem from two things: 1) impatience and 2) an inability to be still in the present moment.

 

Sometimes I catch myself when I'm about to text someone, and I ask myself whether they 'actually' need to know whatever I'm going to text them. "Is it vital they know this right now?" I'll ask myself. "How much of my desire to text them is stemming from impatience?" Especially when I know I'll be hanging out with them in a few hours!

[mrgreen760 37785]

One of the advantages of being ahem a little older is that most of my friends are not technocentric, I'm the only one who tweets and stuff so it's rare that a device even goes off when we're hanging out. That being said i do love a day alone and have ones where i don't speak to a soul, those are cool! If i'm out and about I'm not rude about it and smile at everyone i pass by as long as i'm not doing any commerce it's pretty easy. I also day

dream a lot and can be empty-headed when working out.

 

I'm very social but enjoy a balance.

 

Peace

MG

[mikkismitty 197]

I love having connections with friends and family but I enjoy my alone time. I like just hopping on my motorcycle and going off for the day exploring. I like traveling to far off places and exploring on my own. A friend mentioned to me lately that she went on a date by herself. I was kind of jealous and plan to do that one night soon.

[Gentleman11 10508]

Am going through a bit of a rough patch right now, but have always found that solitude in regular small doses is good for the soul - it has a rejuvinating effect. I find this site and the folks here in particular, very honest, introspective, articulate and like to let their collective hair hang down.

 

Musings from a guy who values heart felt & honest conversation (no saintly stuff thought!)

[VedaSloan 119179]

I am a loner to the nth degree. Socializing, as much as I like it, is exhausting.

 

I very much prefer to be alone with my cat and playing some sort of computer/video game (procrastination from papers, yo!) or reading, than going out.

 

Also, I find all the new-fangled things that phones can do (check email, surf the net, etc. etc.) really overwhelming and for me, mostly pointless. When I do make an effort to go out, it is usually because I want to see someone or catch a show--I certainly don't want to be checking Facebook every two seconds.

 

It makes me nostalgic for the days when all phones did were phone people.

[etasman2000 15994]

On laptops and cell phones. Many of my friends aren't in Ottawa, much less Canada. They are as far flung as Australia, Singapore, UK, Sweden, France etc. Without email/chat it is difficult keeping in contact. I had also PBeM and email cuts down on the wait time.

 

I don't answer phone calls although I have a cell phone for work. Txt and email aren't as distracting, I can get to it during breaks.

 

I'm a loner and let very few people into my live. Although I hang out with a bunch of guys I tend to ask more questions then answer. Its partly because I'm fascinated by people and consider my own life rather mundane (computer programmer 'nuff said).

 

I grew up in the country and got use to being alone, wondering the open space, absorbing the ebbs and flows of the seasons.

 

I do get lonely and at times even melancholic, although I wonder if its just self pity.

 

There is a connection with the Universe that I cherish, have you given thought to the breath you take in ? How many other creatures were nourish by that same breath ? The tender Wind on your face, who else has it kissed, who else will it kiss after you ?

[Kubrickfan 12836]

My only alone time is when I am travelling on business. The rest of the time I am surrounded with family and friends. During my average 2-3 day trips, I find myself craving the alone time and then, by then end of the visit, very happy to get back to my family and "regular" life.

 

The alone time really is a time to decompress and have some "me" time. But in the big picture, its a small investment in a very big family life, so that's probably a good thing.

[NotchJohnson 214073]

As far as being single/alone goes, I love the fact that as long as I show up to work and my rent's paid on time I don't have to answer to a god damn soul!

 

And yeah, some quiet alone time, no cell phone, internet, etc. is sweet as well. It seems like humans have an almost pathological need to stay connected to everything nowadays. I don't get it.

 

I agree, just make enough money to pay rent, taxes, food, and gas etc then when possible take time for yourself.

In my younger days cell phone did not exist and neither did the internet so if you wanted to get a hold of someone from afar, land line phone was the only way. With today's technology it seems like kids of all ages have a cell phone and are constantly texting or calling each other or online MSN, etc. What will this bring our world to?

 

I have a 23 acre property by a river and I take care of it alone with 12 acres of it being grass I can spend 10 hours cutting it and taking care of flowers and so on. When you enjoy doing this and you are alone doing it, it gives you much alone time to think and figure things out, reflect on what is going on around you in your life.

 

Good thread.

[mrrnice2 157005]

I used to enjoy those times when I would have a day or two or even three of being alone and now that it has become the norm, it is not the same at all. I used to think that I could function alone but now realize just how much contact with others is so important.

 

I am a new person to texting over the past 7 months and those constant texts from my daughters who are spread across the country have become incredibly important things for me. All of those little "nothing" texts are not meaningless, they are showing me that I am not alone, and that means more than I could ever express here.

 

Likewise for short emails from friends or quick calls. They are connections to remind me that others are with me, even if not present in my space at the time.

 

I DO enjoy quiet reflective time outside, walking, working on my property, in my gardens, but other people are so important.

 

As with so many things in life - balance.

[Butterfly Kisses 2301]

Prior to my divorce 3 years ago, I was living on my own working out of town for six mths. During that time as I struggled with my feelings about possibility of getting divorced, I realized how much peace and comfort I experienced being on my own.

 

I look back now and see how that 6 mths helped me realize I would be ok living on my own.

 

I do enjoy the company of friends & family (cherish them), but I can equally sit back and relax in the comfort of my own surroundings and reflect, hear and see things I missed in the past.

[Nathalie L 112512]

I look back now and see how that 6 mths helped me realize I would be ok living on my own.

 

That moment when you realize you would be ok living on your own is really powerful. You feel free, and suddenly, comfortable with the idea of 'alone'/'lonely' ("if your heart is bleeding make the best of it").

 

I had that moment about a year ago. Not in the context of a divorce, but in the context of realizing that the person I loved and cherished the most in the world wasn't worth disrespecting myself over! The greatest love is the love we have for ourselves...

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I enjoy being alone...but I can't stand being lonely witch as some extends is almost ruining my life...I am what you would call a serial dater I guess. I can be monogamous emotionally or poly...but physically I am poly. I am bisexual, so I need a pussy and a cock in my life and not everyone is willing to accepted that...therefore I chase relationship

 

But yeah...I find that we are most alone in groups...go in a bus and look at how many people are on their smartphone texting, talking and being in their world. I use to despite people that have Iphone and that would always be on them in restaurant...now I am one of them and I am not really that proud...don't get me wrong I love my phone, it's usfual as hell...