Respect

[Sensual Erin 33900]

Hello everyone,

 

 

I may ruffle a few feathers but after reading many threads over the past several months in the General Discussion area, I have a few things I need to address and have faith that most of the hobbiests here are Gentleman I would consider spending my time with.

 

First off, I have learned many new acronyms or Urban Dictionary terminology from the threads on this board. Do I agree that a vagina is a pussy or kitty? I do not, but the word surfaces daily on this board in discussion. I may just not be cut out to read these threads as I am a woman with substance and will not let you know how big my other lips are, if it's shaved or unshaved, or respond publically to any of these threads. Is it just the ignorance of grasping for the proper ways to ask a question? I"m sure I will quickly figure out the answers and have so far continued the faith that the Gent's who start these threads are respectful. However, I'm having a hard time just seeing these threads up even though I don't read them.

 

So when I wake up with my morning coffee, log into to read the General Discussion area and see thread titles of "Daty vs Digits." "Greek or no Greek", etc. It really makes me question things here and a few have almost made me spit of my coffee on a few occasions. Every sensual, sexual erotic encounter is a gift for both the provider and client and I will use "YMMV" for this one. Please don't disrespect us, get to know us a little and ask us personally. Please always remember as well that we are women. If ever I had anyone in my personal life speak to me in this way they wouldn't be with me. Yet, here we are spoken to this way, asked very personal questions, menu item questions randomly thrown out there, etc. I may be old school but do believe old fashioned chivalry goes a long way, even here as we explore our sexual needs.

 

I will always value and cherish my clients that treat me as Erin, not as a menu item or topic of the ??? day..

 

Hoping this falls upon understanding ears and do enjoy being a part of this board. I just had to get it off my chest as this has bothered me for some time.

 

Cheers!

 

Erin

[jafo105 39057]

I wish to apologize to you if any of my posts or threads have offended you or any of the other ladies in any way.

 

If any of my posts or threads can be interpreted in more than one way. I always mean them to be interpreted in the nicest way possible.

 

I encourage you to message me and let me know if I have offended you in any way ladies.

 

Cheers,

Jafo

[Sensual Erin 33900]

Thank you Jafo. I'm not seeking an apology. It's just that when I read some of these threads, it takes me to a space where I feel the ladies are not valued as a whole. Sometimes I think I just need to let it go and be the girl that takes no offence to our "lady parts" described in all kinds of ways or scenarios. I don't kiss and tell and just questioning why some do? Do I want to know exactly what kind of encounter I will have with a Gent ahead of time I don't even know yet? The only question I make sure is answered before any encounter is can I trust you, am I safe and will you treat me well during our time spent together? A question of allowing "digits, daty, etc. would not get a response. I'm an MA and have been asked these questions. As women, we are giving you are most treasured gifts and deserve the highest respect.

 

I wish to apologize to you if any of my posts or threads have offended you or any of the other ladies in any way.

 

If any of my posts or threads can be interpreted in more than one way. I always mean them to be interpreted in the nicest way possible.

 

I encourage you to message me and let me know if I have offended you in any way ladies.

 

Cheers,

Jafo

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

As far as the abbreviation and the change like greek instead of anal, digit instead of fingering, I do believe it is because some search engine will found those words a bit too easily and using acronym can make it harder to find...or on CL word like vagina and all that are forbidden..and I think we say greek for anal because in Ancient Greece, it was common to have anal sex and they seem to be those that did "popularize" it

 

Vagina...well for the young kids apparently it isn't as bad, to say pussy or kitty instead of vagina.

 

It's scary. Vagina.

[Sensual Erin 33900]

Good points Malika. I've never been a fan of the word vagina either. : ) However, much of the tone is lost through these threads. I would just like to see more mystery, fun and excitement, not the questions put out there that are so blatant. I may just not be cut out to read them. : )

 

As far as the abbreviation and the change like greek instead of anal, digit instead of fingering, I do believe it is because some search engine will found those words a bit too easily and using acronym can make it harder to find...or on CL word like vagina and all that are forbidden..and I think we say greek for anal because in Ancient Greece, it was common to have anal sex and they seem to be those that did "popularize" it

 

Vagina...well for the young kids apparently it isn't as bad, to say pussy or kitty instead of vagina.

 

It's scary. Vagina.

[jafo105 39057]

Erin, If you are not comfortable with vagina. What if we referred to women's genitals as "naughty bits".

 

 

Good points Malika. I've never been a fan of the word vagina either. : ) However, much of the tone is lost through these threads. I would just like to see more mystery, fun and excitement, not the questions put out there that are so blatant. I may just not be cut out to read them. : )

[roamingguy 300291]

Interesting post. And I'll muster in a few thoughts. When I first started in on this lifestyle, the etiquette I gleaned was from various boards and ladies websites. And a lot of the ladies own sites had acronyms of services offered, whether shaved/unshaved/tattoos/piercings etc.

Well my first emails in my early days of seeing ladies to schedule encounters were more focused on the "menu"

Then, and it took three encounters for me to discover this, that the best encounters came when you let the date unfold naturally, and enjoy your time with the lady.

There is a bit of a learning curve, at least for this guy, but I think I learned pretty quickly

I find the whole recommendation/review thing kinda sometimes makes me cringe a bit. I don't mind writing a reco...which is basically "saw this woman, had a great time with her, would see her again" But some reviews, well they are graphic play by play details. Well I'm of the school that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. Not criticizing anyone here, just the detailed reviews, it isn't my thing.

But the etiquette in seeing SP's, well I don't think there is any intentional

bad manners with the posts. Nor do I think it's trying to demean the ladies. It would be, from my vantage point, communicating thoughts in the terminology of this lifestyle It's still taking me a bit of getting used to and I certainly don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone, or diminish them

But I certainly can see and understand your point of view.

Some quick ramblings

RG

[Sensual Erin 33900]

Feeling uncomfortable with the wording is not my only concern. I have two. I do call my vagina "lady parts" btw. : ) Anyway, it's the questions that bother me as well. I am a woman that doesn't want to describe my lady parts, or what I prefer during an encounter detail for detail. I like the mystery and if too much is put out there before, for me, it's a turn off. I know some hobbiests do it to ensure their experience will be exactly as they want, but how does it make it sexy if you know ahead of time?

 

Erin, If you are not comfortable with vagina. What if we referred to women's genitals as "naughty bits".

[Guest E*******h S******s]

Wow Erin, great minds think alike! I too have been a little disturbed by some of the threads and posts that I read also.

 

I became an escort approximately 5 1/2 years ago. I came into this business believing that every human being needs to be touched, needs to be desired and needs to be allowed to express their desires. For me, those things are as necessary and breathing, eating or sleeping. I had no concept of escort boards and what was discussed on same.

 

It didn't take long for me to discover that these boards existed. Being a novice in this world, I allowed my own boundaries to be pushed and accepted certain "truths" from long standing members on the boards that I advertised on. It took a few years to figure out that irrespective as to what a potential client's opinions and preferences are, I have to be true to myself.

 

I am a woman that has walked on this earth for almost 50 years. I have lived a full and sometimes complicated life. I have a great deal more to offer than merely an orgasm. While I am fully aware that my opinion will not stop threads that focus on a particular body part or menu item, it would be appreciated by many escorts if those of you who participate in these threads could keep something in mind:

 

First and foremost, we are human beings.....not just sperm sockets. We are complex people and the interactions we undertake with you affect us in many ways. This is not a business like any other. While you have the right to expect professionalism, it is upsetting to us when we are broken down to simply what we do or how we look. Because let's face it, it isn't just a pair of breasts or a warm mouth that greets you at the door, it is a whole person.

 

As Erin previously stated, it's about simple respect. Thank you for taking the time.

 

Elizabeth.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I know this is an adult board but there are better ways to say things...personally i rather the gentlemen just ask me in a pm or email.. Even then I want respect...as I'm sure every man does. In private we can have the dirty talk..:wink:

[BownChickaBown 4829]

IMHO to each their own, as long as people are not intentionally disrespecting others (individually or in group form).

 

Not everyone has the same delicate constitution, nor hardened sense of self - and that's Great, as everyone having the same looks and/or character would make a monotonously boring World. Variety is the spice of life. Ying to Yang.

 

As OC Transpo puts it: Respect and courtesy are a two-way street. Unfortunately, in a collective, that often falls to the lowest common denominator. Just watch most any news show - it's not the intelligent demographic that's being targeted, rather the opposite. Ex: Fox News

 

A rose by any other name is still as sweet and beautiful, or thorny and stinky - depending the eye of the beholder.

 

Like TV, if I don't like the program on the boobtube, I have the free will in a deterministic universe to simply change the channel, as much as I can go online and blog aboot it. Got to love freedom and choice!

 

Party-on CERB!! (...as I can only assume if there is something totally egregious, the Mods will take corrective action accordingly.)

[roamingguy 300291]

I like the mystery and if too much is put out there before, for me, it's a turn off. I know some hobbiests do it to ensure their experience will be exactly as they want, but how does it make it sexy if you know ahead of time?

 

I agree with you Erin. Anymore, when I am seeing a new lady, I don't like a preplanned script of activities. I like to let the encounter unfold naturally. And with repeat encounters, as I have pleasantly discovered, they aren't clones of the first encounter, they unfold and are different, and more personable (for lack of a better word) than the first encounter

Part of the enjoyment of the encounter is the surprise, wondering how the evening will turn out

A quick additional thought

RG

[jafo105 39057]

How rood!

You should not have to describe your lady parts to a potential client. IMHO.

 

I like the mystery of not knowing too much before the rendezvous. It adds to the excitement and the anticipation. For me its all about the chemistry between us that is important. All I am really looking for is companionship, warm tender embraces, and maybe some kissing. If we get around to sex great, if not that is fine to. I let the lady decide when and if the time is right. I am not looking to see how many women I can be with. All I want is a special friend over an extended period of time.

 

 

 

Feeling uncomfortable with the wording is not my only concern. I have two. I do call my vagina "lady parts" btw. : ) Anyway, it's the questions that bother me as well. I am a woman that doesn't want to describe my lady parts, or what I prefer during an encounter detail for detail. I like the mystery and if too much is put out there before, for me, it's a turn off. I know some hobbiests do it to ensure their experience will be exactly as they want, but how does it make it sexy if you know ahead of time?

[Sensual Erin 33900]

I couldn't spread you anymore points RG but thank you so much. Musings from a true Gentleman always like yourself make me come back to read more. The rest I will start to filter out and do not read. It's just my morning wake up, occasional title thread that makes me not digest my coffee properly. Even if I don't open it to read, the title is there. I am known as the girl that can kick back with the guys, drink beer, swear, listen to them burp and be raunchy. It's part of life and if two roses were identical, they wouldn't be original. Guess I can put it down to it takes all kinds of characters to make our world go round.

[PistolPete 61421]

T Sometimes I think I just need to let it go and be the girl that takes no offence to our "lady parts" described in all kinds of ways or scenarios. I don't kiss and tell and just questioning why some do?

 

Yes perhaps you should just let it go, after all it is a adult play ground, and this is just part of the daily routine here as far as I'm concerned.

 

If we were all to hear no 'sex'... speak no 'sex'... and see no 'sex'....with the abbreviations commonly used here, or the f word or the variations used to describe ladies parts, in general discussion or other any other threads...well it just would not be what the gentlemen are looking to learn about, and I don't think in reality it would be good for both parties. My point of view...lady advertises..guy pays and books time..comes back here and writes a rec..YMMV.

 

Why do some kiss and tell? Well there is a long list in reality I'm sure, some gents like to pass on their information through threads or rec's, or like simply glow with fact what they have accomplished with a MA or a SP with some class or sometimes with details in a rec, very seldom is there any mention of DATY or Digits with a MA in recs (unless I missed those ;).

 

By the way quite a few women do the same, it is not unheard of in thread where a women has bragged or said she likes to " give a great juicy blow job", or "big or small I can fucking stroke them all"

 

If we are turn your way of thinking(if that what you are thinking Erin) with not using the mentioned abbreviations, or the not using recommendations, a man and a woman having multiple orgasmic times, or if a man prefers shaven or not shaven, or DATY and Digits...

 

then I ask what is the entire sense of the board if we don't have something to talk about?

 

Must we talk about cooking,weaving,cats,dogs,elephants...I don't know..everything under the rainbow but sex? And sex terms are addressed and used in different manners on each and every Escort board.

 

OH and I believe in old fashioned chivalry(I like that when I'm one on one with a lady ;) ) and yes it goes a long way!

 

On this board we all explore our sexual needs, and desires, but there is something about being honest and upfront about sexuality and how to chat about it regardless of type of words being used in a thread.

 

Is it to simply come on the board read ad's book a lady and speak no 'sex' here on the board?

 

I think in all honesty if you go back and read threads from 2007, you will see the language was quite more offensive then it is today.

 

This board has taken a 360 turn in the past while, with rules in place, advertising requirements,banning of meat heads that do not belong.

 

I also can say I would feel that 90% of the gents do and give ladies the highest respect then it might of been back in 2007, who knows but change has happened.

 

Things are good here, if we are to add more rules or guys are asked refrain from using this expression or that expression in sexual terms, it just makes people wonder what am I doing here? Does this make sense to anyone???

 

Perhaps I'm babbling but it is the end of a day, and I see these threads pop up, and I just needed to say my piece. No harm, no foul, just saying it from the chest (pounds of heart side).

 

Happy hobbying everyone, and yes Erin ladies do give us their treasure gifts, and the gents here do give respect back, as far as I'm concerned.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I for one absolutely hate vulgar language and sometimes when I have to refer to some parts or sex acts replace the name by acronyms (like kitty or daty I frequenty use). I always thought this is a good thing lol. Never crossed my mind even this can be offensive. Yes this is an adult board anyways not a bible study lol!!!.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Where else should gents and ladies discuss escorting and sex with each other, than on an escort discussion board?

 

If we were to judge everyone who uses a word that someone is uncomfortable with as being disrespectful, then every human being on the planet is disrespectful - because every single word whatsoever makes someone uncomfortable. Respectful communication requires allowances to made on all sides, and requires an assumption of mutual good-will - unless explicitly shown otherwise.

[Sensual Erin 33900]

Oh believe me. I am not a bible preacher so will not bring religion into this dicussion. I'm not a school girl, can hold my own, have no problem expressing sexuality in a respectul manner and this is just a debate. With debate comes understanding. Please refrain from using the bible to describe how any of us feel.

 

I for one absolutely hate vulgar language and sometimes when I have to refer to some parts or sex acts replace the name by acronyms (like kitty or daty I frequenty use). I always thought this is a good thing lol. Never crossed my mind even this can be offensive. As Pete said this is an adult board anyways not a bible class!!!.

 

Additional Comments:

Well, you do bring up good points Pete and do agree to disagree with you on this one respectfully.

 

I really like this thought from Elizabeth:

 

Originally Posted by Elizabeth Saunders

While I am fully aware that my opinion will not stop threads that focus on a particular body part or menu item, it would be appreciated by many escorts if those of you who participate in these threads could keep something in mind:

 

First and foremost, we are human beings.....not just sperm sockets. We are complex people and the interactions we undertake with you affect us in many ways. This is not a business like any other. While you have the right to expect professionalism, it is upsetting to us when we are broken down to simply what we do or how we look. Because let's face it, it isn't just a pair of breasts or a warm mouth that greets you at the door, it is a whole person.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I never thought the word bible can be offensive too, my apology!!. I meant to say on an escort recommendation board it is not unusual to discuss material of sexual content. However, may be I took it too far to compare it to a bible study to clarify my point (likely because deep inside, I may be religious as I used to take part in bible studies when student). My apology again if I offended anyone by my analogy.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

I took the bible reference to be that in a puritan sense, even prudish, not in 'The Bible' sense - but it goes to show how some people will take away from things what they will - once again demonstrating that Perception is Relatively Subjective.

 

On the other hand, like those whom created CERB - others are free to start their own board if this one is not to their taste. Personally, I do not go to churches and ask people why they are so superstitious, nor more than I would come here and expect the Queens Grammar.

 

Party-on Wayne!! Party-on Garth!!

[Sensual Erin 33900]

I agree, the second paragraph is very well said. I can take a good debate. However, I don't like walking from this feeling like a prude or puritan since I approached this topic. If that is what was communicated I'm dissapointed. I'm an expressive woman that shared with others my thoughts, stated I may rumple a few feathers and didn't expect everyone to agree. I'm done with this thread and am sticking around to add to this board as a provider with the knowledge that I can have a good debate. However, now I feel like I should take a walk down Sesame Street by a few.

 

Have a good night everyone.

[JDWUK 161]

Very well put, Erin -and obviously you have hot something important, judging by the replies.

 

As a side, I can't seem to find a post for your services...are you still offering massages for gents in the west end?

 

Have a Good night!

 

JD :)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Short attention span and all, I will admit that I did not read the whole thread. My main concern is that no two encounters are, or could ever be, the same. The threads questionning specific desires/requests are moot. Each and every encounter is different because of the dynamic! I cannot say this unilaterally but...each and every encounter to me is different! Chemistry etc is 90% of the encounter so asking if I do this or that is irrelevant and asking what time with me will be like is impossible to answer if I have not met you!!!!!!!!

[Capital Hunter 18263]

We are debating and it is a good debate and I am sorry to see you so easily offended (I did not mean anything bad by my bible study analogy and I am sorry again if I offended you). There are always two (opposing) sides to a debate otherwise it would be like Russian (Stalinistic) parliament lol if everyone speak the same voice out of fear!!!.

 

I think what we say, (or at least what I say as I can only speak for myself) in this debate (on the other side of the debate) is that one who comes to an escort recommendation board should likely expect comments or terminalogies of sexual nature. It is really nothing unsual or unexpected. This is the most respectful, disciplined, classy escort related board you can find btw. I was on the other board and I quit because of the frequent use of vulgar language and hurtful reviews of ladies. We can't start censoring acronyms or comments of sexual nature on an escort discussion board anymore that we can ask for an end to political debate in the parliament. And of course as others have said it, there is always a clear choice to change the channel (or the thread in this case).

[ottawaadventurer 5114]

I, for one, don't think that this is all that fair. I don't think that asking questions relating to a woman's body means that the questioner is equating the woman to a "sperm socket". Let's not forget that this board is an escort review board - not strictly a social board. While not all clients have preferences, many do. And that's ok. There's a way to ask questions in a respectful manner - for certain. And for many of us, myself included, time with a provider is an honor, not a privilege. Still, it's entirely fair for a client to want to know certain things before entering into a commercial relationship. And asking should be ok. This is, in the end, a board about matching clients with providers. For many of us, it's more, but in essence, that is it's main function. Some guys use the term "kitty", others care if the "kitty" is shaved. Who are we to judge. As long as there is respect shown, even in the eye of the beholder, I don't think we should chastise. We're all different.

 

In the end, we're all here to have fun. Sexual and sensual fun. I would hate to see this place so sanitized that we can't be open with our desires, our questions, our preferences, and our fantasies.

 

Sorry if this is out of line - but this thread hit a nerve. I have always loved CERB partly because I can be me here... Even if "me" isn't perfect.