Question

[drlove 37202]

So, here's the story.... I've been trying to schedule an appointment with one of Cerb's lovely ladies. She has positive feedback, and I was looking forward to seeing her. The last few attempts resulted in the lady being unavailable due to scheduling conflicts and other obligations on her end. I e-mailed her over the weekend, and we had a tentative appointment for this evening. She told me she would be in touch with me before then.

 

This morning I still hadn't heard from her, and since I'd be at work all day, I sent her my contact info, address etc.. Now, I proceeded as though the appointment was going ahead. As such, I allotted time for the appointment by arranging my schedule around "playtime". Our appointment was to have started 15 minutes ago, and I have heard nothing. I understand if something came up again on her end. That's no problem since I can appreciate the fact that things may unexpectedly crop up. However, I feel that I was owed the courtesy of a reply of some kind, to keep me apprised of the appointment's status. After all, it's just good business practice. At this point, I'm feeling a bit put off by the whole thing. I'd appreciate everyone's input and thoughts on the matter, and opinions on how I should proceed.

 

Thanks!

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Unfortunately, all you can really do is move on.

Posted via Mobile Device

[roamingguy 300292]

Megan's right...move on

Trying to resolve a private matter between you and the lady in a public forum never turns out good for anyone

And there are other ladies on CERB to see

RG

[drlove 37202]

Ok... will do! Thanks again.

[PistolPete 61421]

and I agree, it is only "good business practice" and A response from her privately is the best she should be doing to let you know what happen,but not here on this board in threads to get into a inflamed discussion.

 

After all, it's just good business practice. At this point, I'm feeling a bit put off by the whole thing. I'd appreciate everyone's input and thoughts on the matter, and opinions on how I should proceed.

Thanks!

[drlove 37202]

and I agree, it is only "good business practice" and A response from her privately is the best she should be doing to let you know what happen,but not here on this board in threads to get into a inflamed discussion.

 

Yes, I agree completely. Perhaps Mod could close the thread now, since I have my answer.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I concur,walk away...no better yet run away! There's no excuse for bad manners ever. And personally I wouldn't care to have an explanation at all.

 

Peace

MG

[fortunateone 156618]

If I understand the initial post, there was a tentative maybe set for today, but before that she would be contacting you to confirm. Since she did not do that at all, there actually was no appt set up. She didn't have to cancel, because there was nothing confirmed.

 

It is a mixed signal communication issue, and i think if you look at it again with fresh eyes you will see what I mean. Altho it might have been nice for her to get back to you prior to today to say that she definitely cannot do today, she wasn't under any obligation to do so. I think that you both already set it up well enough: if she could see you she would be in contact. She was not in contact, she couldn't see you.

 

I can't see any reason for the additional comments by others here about professionalism or manners tho.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

... Altho it might have been nice for her to get back to you prior to today to say that she definitely cannot do today, she wasn't under any obligation to do so...

 

Reverse the roles and I'm positive you would have appreciated a reply either way even if

it was just a tentative appointment. It's not very difficult to take a minute, send a text or an email and say

you cannot make it. If the roles were reversed I know I would have appreciated the gesture and that,

sooner than later.

 

Plain and simple, it comes down to respect and courtesy and in the end, yes, professionalism.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I think the crux of the matter is that there were no "ifs" mentioned:

 

.... She told me it she would be in touch with me before then....

[stevecurious 42059]

Reverse the roles and I'm positive you would have appreciated a reply either way even if

it was just a tentative appointment. It's not very difficult to take a minute, send a text or an email and say

you cannot make it. If the roles were reversed I know I would have appreciated the gesture and that,

sooner than later.

 

Plain and simple, it comes down to respect and courtesy and in the end, yes, professionalism.

 

Exactly Gabriella, you took the words right out of my mouth. Courtesy is a two way street.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

You shouldn't feel like the string should be closed, and there's a lot of guys here who have been in your shoes, so no worries and that can be very frustrating as you get your expectations up, etc., especially if its with a lady you have been looking forward to seeing for a while.

 

On the other hand, you said in your post that she did say that she would be in touch to firm things up, so I wouldn't have gone to the trouble to give her your personal info. until she gave you some sort of confirmation. If it was me, I would have e-mailed her Monday and asked her to confirm by either Monday night or this morning at the latest, and that you would assume something came up if you didn't hear from her.

 

At the same time, if you had a series of active communications with this lady, back and forth, over a period of time trying to schedule appointments, and then never heard from her after finally setting something tentative up, that certainly doesn't seem very nice. As others have said, just move on. If it was a mis-communication, she certainly knows how to contact you.

[drlove 37202]

You shouldn't feel like the string should be closed, and there's a lot of guys here who have been in your shoes, so no worries and that can be very frustrating as you get your expectations up, etc., especially if its with a lady you have been looking forward to seeing for a while.

 

On the other hand, you said in your post that she did say that she would be in touch to firm things up, so I wouldn't have gone to the trouble to give her your personal info. until she gave you some sort of confirmation. If it was me, I would have e-mailed her Monday and asked her to confirm by either Monday night or this morning at the latest, and that you would assume something came up if you didn't hear from her.

 

At the same time, if you had a series of active communications with this lady, back and forth, over a period of time trying to schedule appointments, and then never heard from her after finally setting something tentative up, that certainly doesn't seem very nice. As others have said, just move on. If it was a mis-communication, she certainly knows how to contact you.

 

I thought I would wait until this morning to see if I got a reply from her, as the appointment itself was not supposed to take place until 6:00pm. In the event that she were to try and contact me during the day, I decided to give her my info before I left for work as I knew I would be out of the office all day, and wouldn't be able to e-mail her until I got home, which would have been cutting it a bit close.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Thanks ... that makes sense and sorry it didn't work out.

 

Usually the "I'm going to assume something came up unless I hear from you by ____" expresses a sense of urgency without sounding rude. Its not going to change minds one way or the other, but it might help to get things moving.

[stevecurious 42059]

So, here's the story.... I've been trying to schedule an appointment with one of Cerb's lovely ladies. She has positive feedback, and I was looking forward to seeing her. The last few attempts resulted in the lady being unavailable due to scheduling conflicts and other obligations on her end. I e-mailed her over the weekend, and we had a tentative appointment for this evening. She told me she would be in touch with me before then.

 

This morning I still hadn't heard from her, and since I'd be at work all day, I sent her my contact info, address etc.. Now, I proceeded as though the appointment was going ahead. As such, I allotted time for the appointment by arranging my schedule around "playtime". Our appointment was to have started 15 minutes ago, and I have heard nothing. I understand if something came up again on her end. That's no problem since I can appreciate the fact that things may unexpectedly crop up. However, I feel that I was owed the courtesy of a reply of some kind, to keep me apprised of the appointment's status. After all, it's just good business practice. At this point, I'm feeling a bit put off by the whole thing. I'd appreciate everyone's input and thoughts on the matter, and opinions on how I should proceed.

 

Thanks!

 

Firstly I can understand you being "put off" as you say because it isn't that hard to send an email, text message, etc. stating that "such and such happened so I have to postpone our time this evening." It has been said many times before "it" happens.

 

One thing I feel I should ask, playing the devils advocate if you will, are you still planning on seeing this lady? If so you might want to keep in mind that she may not really appreciate the thread you started regardless of whether it is justified or not. Now keep in mind I am not coming out on either side of this topic I am only pointing out a possible pot hole in the road ahead...

[drlove 37202]

Firstly I can understand you being "put off" as you say because it isn't that hard to send an email, text message, etc. stating that "such and such happened so I have to postpone our time this evening." It has been said many times before "it" happens.

 

One thing I feel I should ask, playing the devils advocate if you will, are you still planning on seeing this lady? If so you might want to keep in mind that she may not really appreciate the thread you started regardless of whether it is justified or not. Now keep in mind I am not coming out on either side of this topic I am only pointing out a possible pot hole in the road ahead...

 

As I said, I understand that something may have come up unexpectedly that is beyond the lady's control. I just wanted to garner some opinions on whether or not I should have expected some form of response from her with regard to either confirming, or in this case postponing a tentative appointment. It's all water under the proverbial bridge at this point.

[capitalman 3861]

Just like the ladies keep track of men they won't see, us guys do the same thing. I have mental notes and notes on my phone.

 

Cancel on me once, no problem. Cancel on me twice I might try again. No show on me and I'll never call you again.

[stevecurious 42059]

Just like the ladies keep track of men they won't see, us guys do the same thing. I have mental notes and notes on my phone.

 

Cancel on me once, no problem. Cancel on me twice I might try again. No show on me and I'll never call you again.

 

Probably a little more to the point than how I would have said it but I am forced to agree. I honestly don't see how, in this day and age, how a quick message couldn't be sent by the "cancelling" party their gender aside.

[Lexy Grace 103696]

A reply would have been the professional thing to do IMHO. When I have an inquiry with a certain date/time requested and with all the information supplied that I require it is still not considered a booked and confirmed encounter until you receive a confirmation PM or email from me. I have had people think they have a booked and confirmed encounter but if you do not contact me on the date you were suppose to with all the information that I require I do not hold openings/spots.

 

My advice would be next!! Unless you do receive some sort of communication and a date can be booked and confirmed without issues but still things do come up on both ends that are unforeseen, then I may try again. I use the word may very strongly.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Firstly I can understand you being "put off" as you say because it isn't that hard to send an email, text message, etc. stating that "such and such happened so I have to postpone our time this evening." It has been said many times before "it" happens.

 

One thing I feel I should ask, playing the devils advocate if you will, are you still planning on seeing this lady? If so you might want to keep in mind that she may not really appreciate the thread you started regardless of whether it is justified or not. Now keep in mind I am not coming out on either side of this topic I am only pointing out a possible pot hole in the road ahead...

 

Steve -- I dont think we should ever get to the point here where we cant have a frank discussion of an issue that's bothersome as long as it doesn't get personal within the thread and as long as the poster isn't trying to solicit PMs from other members to vent. This discussion is good substantive content and part of what we should be discussing IMO.

 

I once started a thread about whether it is reasonable for a lady to request a photo of a client before agreeing upon an appointment. It was a requirement included in a PM from the lady when I tried to arrange a meeting and wasn't mentioned in her publicly available information. In my cerb poting, I made it very clear that the lady had every right to do it, but it was a non-starter for me and I was wondering what other members thought. I stated in my post that I wasn't willing to share the name of the lady involved. It ended up being a 75-100 message string calling out the pros and cons of doing that. Nobody got cranky, it was just a good discussion. And I did hear from the lady via PM, but it was a very polite discussion.

 

Similarly, there have been many threads here on cerb about client no-shows and other misbehavior. Usually not personal, and usually very good discussions.

 

I certainly dont want to re-hash those issues, but I'd really hate to lose discussions like that from cerb just because an anonymous person might (or might not) feel a bit uncomfortable. This is a very supportive group here on cerb, and I think we need to be that way especially as to the "primary topic" at hand.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Yesterday, I had one tentative and one confirmed appt cancelled. In both cases, adequate notice was given and while a bit sad, I was very appreciative that they took the two seconds to let me know.

 

On the other hand, I had a confirmed appt that did not show, did not warn me and did not answer his phone. While easy going, I will admit this really pissed me off. Often, I will give a second chance with a plausible excuse but in this instance, there was alot of communication beforehand so I may not be so lenient.

 

Ultimately, it is up to each person to deal with these unpleasant situation as they see fit. Each situation carries with it a set of circumstances and you are the only one in the position to decide whether or not the offense is excusable! :)

[drlove 37202]

In her defense, from what I've heard, she is reputable and provides great service. She just seems to be very difficult to pin down, as can be the case with some independents in general. I feel like giving her another chance, pending her explanation, of course. I just wish there was a good agency in my area. Much more convenient and hassle free, IMHO.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I don't understand how her reputation and she apparently providing great service are factors that diminish the fact that she stood you up. In my opinion the action is the same coming from a reputable SP or from a new lady, is what she says when sge contacts you if she ever does that would make a difference depending on what made her not show. As for you saying all independents are difficult to pin down well I think you are generalizing, lack of professionalism may happen with both, agencies and independent providers.

In her defense, from what I've heard, she is reputable and provides great service. She just seems to be very difficult to pin down, as can be the case with some independents in general. I feel like giving her another chance, pending her explanation, of course. I just wish there was a good agency in my area. Much more convenient and hassle free, IMHO.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Isabella -- not sure that drlove got stood up, at least from a "technical" standpoint. Looking at his initial post, he said that the lady promised to communicate one more time presumably to firm things up (no pun intended ... Smile), so I think this may be more about politeness for lack of a better term.

[fortunateone 156618]

Isabella -- not sure that drlove got stood up, at least from a "technical" standpoint. Looking at his initial post, he said that the lady promised to communicate one more time presumably to firm things up (no pun intended ... Smile), so I think this may be more about politeness for lack of a better term.

 

 

I agree. A lot of people seem to be posting as tho it was a no show on a confirmed appt, due to what the OP telling us he prepared for an appt. However at NO time did the sp confirm an appt, she only said she would get back to him the day before if she could do it. She did not promise to get back to him if she couldn't, fwiw. Given his followup email, it would have been a nice/polite thing for her just to repeat that she couldn't see him after all, but as I say, she wasn't really obligated to repeat with an email the obvious, and what she already told him prior to the day. And at that point, she might be saying to herself, what the heck is he emailing for??

 

That's why I'm not really following the strike one, off the list, name names, demand an explanation, or what have you. I don't think she could have been clearer: she would confirm if she can make it. She will not confirm if she cannot. She did not confirm, therefore she cannot make it. Its just A + B = C logic lol.