Would you date me?

[roamingguy 300291]

I just wanted to share an experience I had with a guy not that long ago,I always have tried to be very open with those I befriend , especially if I am intimate with him,when I started escorting I had met a guy, we dated for a few months until I felt comfortable enough to open up to him about my choosen occupation,needless to say it didn't go over well,he informed others in my building,dumped me ,letting me know I wasn't worthy of a man like him and caused me alot of problems.I have since decided to keep my business to my self only,I haven't even told friends.This has obviously affected my ability to trust people,as I also had a friend turn away as well and she used to be in the business,some people are very judgemental and cruel,they judge you only by what you do and not for who you are.Thanks for the thread ,I think it's a good subject to discuss,Cristy

 

Well he was right about one thing, you weren't worthy of a man like him...you deserve someone so much better than him

If he was uncomfortable or couldn't continue in a relationship because of your profession, you two should have parted ways...informing others, demeaning you, well that says more about him, and to put it mildly, it says he's a jerk

Treat people the way you would like to be treated, that's how I try to operate.

Sorry you went through that

RG

[spud271 47779]

I just wanted to share an experience I had with a guy not that long ago,I always have tried to be very open with those I befriend , especially if I am intimate with him,when I started escorting I had met a guy, we dated for a few months until I felt comfortable enough to open up to him about my choosen occupation,needless to say it didn't go over well,he informed others in my building,dumped me ,letting me know I wasn't worthy of a man like him and caused me alot of problems.I have since decided to keep my business to my self only,I haven't even told friends.This has obviously affected my ability to trust people,as I also had a friend turn away as well and she used to be in the business,some people are very judgemental and cruel,they judge you only by what you do and not for who you are.Thanks for the thread ,I think it's a good subject to discuss,Cristy

 

I agree with RG Cristy, you deserve a much better man than him. People like him make me scratch my head. Why would he tell the people in your building what you do...that's dumbest thing I've ever heard!!! I can't figure what childish mindsets people have at times. Cristy, never like looser's like him get you down. He shouldn't be lucky enough to have someone like you!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I've been in relationships while escorting and even dated a client or two. While the other person was okay about it, i always felt a bit weird. I didn't discuss my work with them and I would leave it at the front door. Ultimately there were communication problems that didn't even involve my line of work so everything just went awry.

 

Call me old fashioned but this time I'd rather do things the right way. If I end up finding Mr. Right and I truly love him ( and am not testing the waters or anything) I would leave this business without hesitation. And financially, escorting for some time now has been a side act with me. The way I see it if i really care about someone, I can't be screwing other guys. I think in my past relationships while escorting, I cared about them but wasn't "in love" with them and that's a huge difference for me.

 

There was one client that I had a huge crush on and met him about 3 times. There was an instant attraction and chemistry there but I never saw him after that. I always wonder if he will call again. It was weird because I didn't know much about him and felt like that. That was not normal for me. I've always stayed within the boundaries unless the feelings were mutual. The crazy thing is he lives close to me and I see him around town all the time. My SP friend knocked some sense into me and told me he was just a client and to come back down to reality.lol. So I did and left it up to the universe to decide if he were to meet me again. I had to accept things the way they were. And as far as I know he is NOT a cerb member just in case someone else thought I was referring to them. lol.

 

If I met a client and decided to take it to the next level, I'd probably give it a try but on a couple of conditions... he doesn't give me an ultimatum, he doesn't throw my job back in my face and he is not a possessive and controlling type of person. When I witness the above things, I run away... and fast!! Honesty and communication are big things for me and I'm a straight shooter kind of woman. If something is wrong, the other person will know about it.

 

Many times I've heard guys saying they had dated SPs but they weren't willing to give up the money for the relationship. I'm in a position where I don't have to decide which is more important ( money is no longer the driving force for security) and I'm at a point in my life where I will be looking for someone in the near future. I am the kind of person where if my job is more important at a given time, I will not be looking for anyone because it does get complicated and I really don't need bullshit in my life. I do things on my terms and will leave the business on my terms but at the same time when i'm ready to look for a serious relationship then I will be ready to leave my job. It is very easy to find love in all the supposedly "wrong" places.

[cometman 35115]

Would I date a SP? Of course.....as much as I would date anyone else. However,with me, it is an all or nothing kind of thing. Sex equates to to intimacy and intimacy to exclusivity and exclusivity to monogamy. If I am in a loving relationship, I do not stray and would ask the same of the other. If she refused, I would move on graciously and would not judge. I also would not judge her by her past, but by the present and future and would ask for the same consideration. Relationships take a lot of work and trust and understanding. Controlling behavior, possessiveness, jealousy, and mistrust would indicate that it's time to move on in life. There's someone for everyone, but maybe not this one. As someone who's in an empty marriage, it has to be worth the effort for both parties or it is doomed to failure.

[MrGump 632]

Just wanted to thank whomever,commented on my post,and/or gave me rep points??

Not sure how all that works,but it made me feel nice.

 

Thanks to all the excellent peeps here on CERB..

[Guest n**se_**n]

There are always great posts about how nice the ladies are in this industry. We've been called many things such as sweet and kind, loving and sincere. We've been told by many how attractive our brains can be, how healthy we are, beautiful and charismatic, alluring.

Lately, there has been some talk of feelings for the ladies. Can we do what we do and feel nothing? Can you come to us and feel nothing? The answer is no. We all have feelings, feelings about one another we touch and feel. Heck, I find I can develop feelings for people I've never even met.

When it comes to true, honest feelings that develop, I want to know if the connection is there and both of you know it, would you consider dating an SP?

If love is love would you take a chance on love with us? Why? Why not?

I know that here we are seen as woman, not objects and we are very respected as we respect you as well, but when it comes down to it...

Are we different?

Could you be with a girl that is with other men without you? Could you bring her to work functions knowing that she may know your boss or if you had children..your child's friends dads?

On the upside, you would be with a woman that knows plenty about men, your needs and how to fulfill them, loves sex and is very playful, and all those things that has been said about us.

Please share your thoughts

 

 

For me the answer is simple. Absolutely. Being an escort is your work. I think that it should work both ways, if one person has sex with others the other should be able to as well. However if you required me to only have you as a sex partner, and you continue working as an escort, then I probably would request that there be something that you and I do sexually, that you would never do with a client (in addition to no bb).

But my opinion is that being an escort is your work, and I would be ok with that, and I would still be proud to take you wherever you wanted to go out together, in front of anyone.

Now obviously there would need to be those feelings present, to start down that path...and to be truthful, there is someone I have met through meeting in this manner whom I do have personal feelings for, beyond the professional relationship. However, I still do have appointments with other escorts...

The difficulty I think occurs on how that relationship develops and is initiated, as I think that there could be the possibility of confusion between trying/wanting to initiate a relationship, and trying to get something for free...

[SmartnSexy 2089]

Along the same lines as nurse_man's question, my first question would be: How does this even happen? Who is the initiator? I know personally, regardless of how I felt it would take an act of god for me to initiate the discussion. After reading the so many escort sites it's become clear that SPs don't want this to happen and if I were to fly in the face of their wishes I would feel terrible as well as probably get told what for.

 

To answer the subject question, of course, but that does not mean that the choice is a simple one. I have no desire to force anyone into doing something that they don't want to and I have even less desire to tell other people what to (or not to) do (in a non professional setting of course, work often requires of us to direct and lead others). Telling the SP that I would be dating that she can't see clients anymore would be hypocritical in a sense, but also logical. For example part of me might think, "well, we met like that, what if she meets someone else that she likes better?" (confidence issue, I'm aware, but not an unreasonable thought you must admit).

 

Another part of me would feel that it is unfair that she gets to have sexual relations with others and that I am expected to sit at home waiting for her and only her. I don't like the shield of "it's my job" regardless of whether or not it's your job, sex to most people implies a level of intimacy. Initially I'd expect to still be allowed to see SPs, however I could understand if she were upset that I saw someone who wasn't a professional (weird, I know, but that's just me). As the relationship progressed it could become more and more difficult for me to see other ladies and for me to see her see clients, the more serious we get the closer I want to feel to her and well, unfortunately for me I guess, the fact that she sees clients may present a barrier to our closeness that I may not be able to overcome.

 

My scenario though is all theoretical. I have no idea how the relationship would develop, fortunately life isn't completely scripted and I still get surprised every now and then ;). All I can truly say, is that regardless of how it would turn out, I would want to try. If I truly felt something for this lady, then I would never forgive myself for not trying, regardless of the circumstances.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

The responses are incredible! Real thought, emotion and self has been thoroughly put into these replies, I love them all.

Question, why are you all such geniuses? I think there is a connection, sex=smarty yes?

[zorobaby 4121]

Well as a person who has always questioned this very fact i would have to say yes.

 

I have considered it a lot in the past with a woman I met and stayed regular with for a little bit, my feelings were never revealed as i thought that they would find it silly that a client would "fall" for a masseuse. Considering the calibre of women on here, they are smart, beautiful and wonderful people, i think that if i did develop feelings for a provider and ended up telling them that they would laugh/shrug it off. For me to consider acting on feelings that i have for a provider then she would have to be displaying clear feelings of non work related affection, but i would most likely pass it off as a fantasy that i read to much into. She would almost have to lay me down and slap me around a little bit to hammer it into my brain that she's interested in me.

 

But as for the actual question that was posed, i don't think i would have any affliction to dating a provider or masseuse as long as everything was kept mutually honest, i probably wouldn't want to hear about every guy she met with that day, but i would for sure like to know that she was safe.

 

Just my two cents,

Zoro

[Hyperion 270]

I would say yes, but of course it would be because of compatability outside of sex.

[Dorinda Bloom 44036]

Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.

Just asking a question, thats all

RG

 

Not on your life. Not this woman. As far as some people saying, "Well, that doesnt sound very fair." What is fair? In my relatationship it IS fair, and it is up to the two individuals in the relationship to decide what is fair for them. When I come home after spending time with a hobbyist I am bringing in something for the family. If he were to return home from hobbying empty handed, it is not the same thing at all. Business is business and personal play time is personal. I don't share.

[Guest n**se_**n]

Not on your life. Not this woman. As far as some people saying, "Well, that doesnt sound very fair." What is fair? In my relatationship it IS fair, and it is up to the two individuals in the relationship to decide what is fair for them. When I come home after spending time with a hobbyist I am bringing in something for the family. If he were to return home from hobbying empty handed, it is not the same thing at all. Business is business and personal play time is personal. I don't share.

 

Point well taken - and makes perfect sense. And see, I personally could accept that - not everyone could. But just as Dorinda doesn't share, if I were the man in that situation, I would want something special that the woman only shared with me - something that was just ours during personal play...

[BownChickaBown 4829]

Quick reply to your question Julia is the same the last time I was asked this:

 

Possibly, but not probably.

 

I'm not into Marriage, but I do believe in one day finding someone whom to share a life-long love with so great that neither one of us would need to have sex with anyone else but ourselves (or whatever adventures we might share as a couple).

 

Health considerations, mentally and physically speaking, would be a concern of mine with having exposure to continuous multiple partners unbeknownst to one party or the other. One turn-off for me, as an insecure/'risk adverse' guy, is never having absolute trust the lady may find someone better and move on. (Is this what Dorinda is referring to?)

 

Also not making it probable would be the fact I am virtually undateable anyways, for various reasons.

 

Examples of success in this area are rare to me, as I may just be out of the loop in these scenarios by choosing not to discuss SOs with SPs, but if it can work - then more power to everyone, imo. Love is grand!

[Amelia Fox 9064]

Hum..

I think in my life I would absolutely NOT be able to actually know for a fact that my man/woman was having intimate affairs with someone other than me.

I may seem crazy for saying this being an SP but I have done the whole three some thing,with an ex and a friend of mine,turned out to be a horrible experience,and I felt discusted sleeping with him,for months afterwards.

In essence it is to me okay to stray silently however when it is a known fact within the relationship it's impossible to get over,and forget.

I would rather meet men I do not let myself have feelings,for then to let myself go through all the non necessary emotions.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

Good on them!

 

I didn't click-thru and read the whole article, but I wonder...

 

...if she is still a SP? (...to relate it back to this thread topic.)

...and does he still hobby (outside of the relationship)?

...or did they both 'retire' for each other?

 

They remind me of the song in my signature :)

[oldblueeyez 15475]

I once danced to that tune.

Like anything, it may work and it may not.

You will never know without trying, so why not?

The only thing stopping you is inhibition;

cast it aside and let destined souls collide.

[frenchbrute 1090]

I would have to say that I understand the opinions expressed by some and would question some others. I completely understand the idea that being an SP is a profession, however, being in a relationship is quite different. I would never judge another perosn and don't as much as possible but for myself I have certain personal ideals. I believe I can do wnat I want because I am single. I may choose to have the relationships I wnat as well as associate with the people whom I choose because I am not part of a relationship. When Part of a relations a fully believe in 100 percent monogamy maybe that is why I haven't chosen to marry as of yet because possibly there are things I haven't tried that I want to.

 

I myself have seen an sp because of curiosity, interests, levels of comfort, etc...but there are certain elements which make it comfortable. If some people are fine being in relationships are seeking company of sp's then fine for them but I couldn't similarly, I could be with a lady whom I met and "was" an sp as I truly believe we do not control whom we fall in love with, but I could not seek a relationship with her if she wanted to continue being intimate with other as I believe that is something quite private. Business or not, when two people are together and have a physical relationship emotions are attached to a certain degree and I could share myself completely physically, emotionally or even be as romantic with her as I would want all the while knowing that she was with other men. That's why if something happened it would really have to be the lady who showed inetrest in something more because I would never be so arrogant as to ask somebody to give up something for me. But then that's just my two cents. To each his/her own.

[dguy1 280]

Personally, I do not see this as being complicated. It has been said, in so many words, on this thread that love conquers all. If the mural love is deep enough and strong enough then it should not matter what an sp does.

Would I date a former sp? Absolutely. The last Virgin I was with was at MY first time so that is a moot point. Would I date someone who working as an sp? Again, absolutely. In fact, and I may be a divergent thinker here, I would get turned on by the fact that my lady is with other men but then comes home to treat me special. I may even ask about her day as she pleasures me. :)

As for seeing her clients in public, I admit I would feel a certain smugness if I knew about it because again...she chose me. It would be no worse than anyone running into an ex lover.

As for what others think. Again I state that true love should be more important than what the Jones think and they aren't worth it anyway if they can't understand that.

Now having said all this, understand that this must be a pure love in the sense that you are willing to fight for it. If the love is not strong or mutual and the respect is not there either than it will make a difference and it will complicate things.

I am in a very happy and open relationship that involves all of the things I described. We don't lie or sneak around and respect each other enough that if my lady told me she had been an sp...I wouldn't care. I told her that I hobby sometimes...she didn't care.

We both know how much we love each other and we would do anything for the other and at the end of the day...we choose each other and only have those feelings for one another. Good luck to all the ladies. I hope you find that. I know how rare it is...that is why it is so special.

[Ooshower 100]

Whether I decide to date an escort depends on how long I have known her for and how many times I have seen her. If her and I are very comfortable with each other, than I wouldn't mind going out with her if that is what her and I decide. however, whether or not I would decide to pursue a relationship with her is quite another story. So going out on dates is one thing, but if you are talking about a long term commitment than that would not be possible.

[ivyjune 100]

That's (maybe) also why I refrain myself about "feeling" anything for a client. But I guess, when you fall in love; you stop wondering about what people think...

 

But the last message from @JuliasUndies doesn't seems "encouraging" to me. ;-)

 

But, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING BEING: "ARE YOU HAPPY ?"

[Ice4fun 78396]

First things first.... i am happily married and not looking for a relationship.

 

That said.... i think if you had asked me if I would date an SP a few years ago I would say no and if I did I think i would have said that I would not be able to date her if she continue as an SP.

 

Now however after I have met more wonderful ladies and learned so much from them about the industry I think i could date an SP and be ok with her continuing in the business.

[Guest c**io**m7]

This is truly a tough one. Could I date a provider? I believe love is love and it can exist no matter what line of work each is in so, yes, I believe I could...but, I am sure it wouldn't be easy.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

For me, well I am secure enough to date a lady that's an SP and be ok with the fact that she see's other men as part of her job. However, where I would really struggle would be with the constant worry for her safety every time she went out for a date. I tend to be very protective over people that I'm with so for that reason my answer would have to be no.