An Open Letter Of Appeal To The Cerb Community

[drlove 37202]

In light of recent events, I feel compelled to write this message. There has been much talk lately about the increasing prevalence of negative commentary and in-fighting amongst members of Cerb. My history as a hobbyist dates back approximately thirteen years. In that time I've had the pleasure of meeting many incredible ladies, as well as corresponding with many like minded individuals through forums such as these.

 

I have spent a fair amount of time in cities such as Toronto, and as such I am also a member of other boards. Without going into specifics, I can tell you that they have had, and some continue to have their share of problems. In part, that is why I chose to distance myself from them and join the respected Cerb community. Lately, I have begun to feel that those difficulties endemic to other boards have slowly filtered into our own. I would hope that we as a community will take it upon ourselves not to allow this to transpire.

 

Some of the most endearing features of Cerb include acceptance, non-jugement, unity and community. In some sense of the word, Cerb may even be considered a loosely knit family of sorts, albeit (at times) a bit dysfunctional. This is really the situation I'd like to avoid. Our collective intellect, knowledge and sense of togetherness surely merits more than being reduced to petty squabbling. We ourselves are not the enemy. If anything, we should be rallying together to support initiatves such as the constitutional challenge and other such pursuits that hopefully will strengthen the foothold and legitimacy of the adult entertainment industry.

 

Let us be mindful of the fact that we are here for one another. Cerb is not an entity in and of itself; Rather, it is WE who are Cerb. We make up our community and it is we who are ultimately the authors of our success or misfortune. As the dawning of a new year approaches, let's take it upon ourselves to reflect and resolve to rise up and overcome these issues, in order that we may all benefit the community as a whole. To do otherwise would be a disservice to ourselves and the industry we make up and support. Thank you for reading.

[Cato 160314]

I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks for this.

[roamingguy 300292]

Another positive thread...this is a good sign for CERB

Some quick thoughts.

 

1. When posting, offering opinions etc, remember this underlying philosophy

it's a good guide "CERB is not a review board-It is a recommendation board so if you do not have anything nice to say...Please don't say anything at all"

 

2. CERB is a useful place to gather information from a cross section of people engaged in this lifestyle, if you have a question, ask

 

3. Not everyone agrees with everyone...be a pretty boring world if we did.

You can respect another opinion without agreeing with it. State your opinion without putting someone else's opinion down.

 

4. Sometimes people start on CERB on the wrong foot, and get derailed. Short of it being a banning offence (up to Mod/Town Council btw) a second chance can be warranted, they can get back on track, and they can become positive CERB members. If they don't well they will come to the attention of the Mod/Town Council and dealt with.

 

5. If something posted annoys you (or you haven't had your first cup of coffee LOL) sit back, relax, watch tv etc, then post when you've cooled down...that emotional response can end up looking bad too

 

6. Not everything posted has to be about escorts. This board has humour, music, LOLCats etc...much more than escorting. If you don't want to read those posts, don't...but they just may put a smile :-) on your face

 

7. For those who think the ladies carry more influence than the guys, I believe we are all equal and opposite sides of the same coin. It might seem they carry more influence, but most "other boards" are for the guys,

this board is for EVERYONE, lady and gentlemen alike. But that's just my opinion

 

Just some quick thoughts. And I love how there are many CERBite's who care about this community and don't want it to go the way of the "other boards" Thank you drlove for posting this thread

 

RG

[Mikeyboy 27113]

Great advice RG and great post Doc. Seems a fitting time of year to look at new beginnings. Lets make 2012 a fun and postive year for CERB. Happy New Year everyone. Looking forward to all that 2012 brings.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Woohoo....members embracing the concept of positivity! Makes me happy :)

[Mikeyboy 27113]

Woohoo....members embracing the concept of positivity! Makes me happy :)

 

I feel a group hug comming on...... (clothing optional of course ;))

[mrgreen760 37785]

Maybe we should just buy the world a Coke and not take this stuff so seriously.There's much better things to be serious about!

 

Peace

MG

Posted via Mobile Device

[ajd20000 655]

This is a great community and has been incredibly helpful to me as a noob in just the few weeks I have been a member. I would hate to lose that!

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

a level of understanding, compromise, peace, trust and best of all happiness here on CERB? I think we are well on our way towards it, Thanks for everyone coming out and teaching and influencing this great step to the betterment for all our benifit! I have learned alot from these past few weeks, and also know that I have a genuin consern for how fragile our community is here, must be handeled with care.

[futileresistenz 28253]

Hats off to drlove and RG for two posts of distinction! Nice job to focus on the greatness we have here at CERB and what we should bear in mind to keep it that way!

 

The cliché comes to mind: "Strangers are only friends that you haven't met yet."

 

While I'm here, I'd like to wish everyone - yes, friends, known and as yet unknown, a very Happy New Year!

 

[Lowdark 5613]

Very well said, Doc. Words of wisom to take into the new year.

[roamingguy 300292]

Something to interject here. My hobby (I can't view intimate interpersonal encounters between people as a hobby, but I digress :-)) is fishing and I'm on a couple of fishing related boards. They seem to go through cycles of negativity too. The difference, this board, and community wants to rectify the negativity on this board, and not just wait for the cycle to end, and keep CERB a positive safe and welcoming place to be. Other boards sometimes let negativity fester, we want this to return to it's positive environment. I think it says a lot about the Mod, Admin, Town Council and all CERB members that we collectively care enough about this community to fix the hiccups and keep it a safe and positive board to be on

A rambling, for whatever it's worth

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

At least it is better than "Punter", a "British, Australian and Hiberno (Irish) English colloquial term for a paying guest or customer."

 

Hmmmm.. learn something new everyday :) I tried for a few years to make it as a "punter" in football but was terrible at it in hindsight. I am full blood Irish. Turns out I could have been a punter in Britain all along and had a ton of fun instead ;)

 

But here I am in Canada....sure hope the Cerb Ladies I have met don't think I am a terrible "punter" :roll:

 

Oh well I will remain positive and full steam ahead in 2012 !

 

Happy New Years to all of you fine Cerbies from Coast to Coast !!

[bcguy42 38594]

I'm in total agreement with the gist of this thread. CERB is a great place to visit, learn, share useful information, and extol the charms of the distaff members. I suspect that if we all act like educated compassionate adults, everything will roll along smoothly in 2012.

 

Have a happy one, everyone!

[MellyBelly 15058]

As a member of less than a month, I am fortunate to have not witnessed the negativity and drama side of this site. Honestly, I deal with that on a daily basis with a couple of difficult employees of mine ;) and don't want to deal with that in my personal time as well.

 

So far, all I have had is a positive experience here on CERB. Immediately I was welcomed by 3 long time members (OldDog, Pete & Cato) and also by some of the lovely ladies here on the site. I am looking forward to interacting with many more members and SPs here on Cerb. I find this site to be a great place to learn more about both sides of the industry and also so far it has been a place to have a laugh or two as well.

 

I am glad to read this thread and see that so many others are also just looking for CERB to be a positive place. Sure there will be different opinions, but this is life and it is all about how you react and handle these opinions that will continue to make CERB a great board.

 

I am looking forward to meeting many more members here and having some great discussions, deep discussions and some laughs along the way.

 

All the best to everyone!!!

[roamingguy 300292]

There has been of late focus on negativity but there is much more positive spirit and community here than we are given credit for

Today, the first day of 2012, and the past few days of 2011, we have have some threads that reinforce the spirit of community here

Two wonderful ladies (Emily Rushton and Isabella Gia) acknowledged for their ascent to Goddesshood

42 Cerbites collectively wished a Happy Birthday today

3 Posting milestones acknowledged

Berlin for 3000 posts

Cato for 4500 posts

Someone else achieved 4500 posts too, don't remember who, but he was very pleasantly surprised this morning, I'm sure, that he got acknowledged.

And if I've missed anyone else's recent milestones, please feel free to add to the thread, no offence intended by any possible omissions

My point, this isn't just a board...this is a community. A community which is far more positive than given credit for.

So on that note, wishing everyone on CERB a safe prosperous, positive and happy 2012

RG

[MightyPen 67414]

There has been of late focus on negativity but there is much more positive spirit and community here than we are given credit for

This is true. In fact at this point I've personally seen more threads about overcoming negativity, or of people succumbing and throwing themselves noisily upon their virtual swords, than I've seen instances of negativity itself. Most of the lamenting posts mention vaguely and broadly that there's been a bunch of something going on, somewhere... but aren't specific. I think this makes the problem seem larger and more persistent than it really is.

 

I'm glad for the statements of determination to keep things positive. But as others have said several times... "let's move on". The best way to keep things positive with each other, is by posting positively.

 

It's a worthy commitment for 2012.

[iluvmuffins 1764]

I agree very much with MightyPen. Let's face it, when it comes to this type of community, it's a challenge to eliminate all forms of negativity as both SP and client are bound to face an unfortunate situation sooner or later. How we deal with it is what makes us all different. Below are 7 Secrets To Staying Positive In The Face Of Negativity, by Lori Radun.

 

Everybody has been around a negative person at least once in life - probably many times. A negative person will bring you down and drain your energy. If you allow them to, negative people will make you angry and challenge your ability to remain positive. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of negativity.

 

Do Not Argue with Negativity

When you are dealing with a negative person, the worst thing you can do is argue with him. This only adds fuel to the fire.

 

Flood Negativity with Love

A negative person often needs love and attention. The irony of the situation is that a negative person is difficult to love. It is our challenge to rise above the negative behaviour and love the injured and often fearful person that is deep inside.

 

Look for the Positive

There is always gold to be found in any negative situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for anything positive you can highlight. Even a negative person has positive qualities.

 

Ask Negative People to Be Specific

There is a spiritual solution to every problem. Maybe the person is negative because they are angry, hurt, disappointed, have a failure complex.....some disorder within could be triggering the outward negative manifestation. On the surface the problem may seem one thing but the root of the problem may be another.

 

Detach and Let Go of Trying to Change the Negative Person

The more you try to change some negative people, the more he or she will fight to remain negative.

 

Avoid the Negative Person

I agree that some people are so chronically negative that you have no other choice but to avoid them. If you have negative people in your life that are critically affecting your mental and physical health, you need to evaluate whether or not you want these people in your life.

 

Manage Your Own Negative Thoughts and Behavior

If you do nothing else but focus on managing your own negative thoughts and behavior, you will come a long way towards remaining positive. A negative attitude is infectious, but a positive attitude is contagious as well.

 

Some of this is applicable to the CERB community, and some might not be so applicable. I hope everyone can take something positive from this.

 

Attitude, After all, Is everything.

[drlove 37202]

I just wanted to thank everyone for supporting this thread. I have a feeling that 2012 will be Cerb's best year yet!