What would the "Hobbiest" write for an opening line on ad?

[piano8950 32577]

Want a man who rides a horse, has a 6 pack, and an actor?

 

Well, I can smell like him

[neebleton 2940]

"Invariably brings baked goods" :)

[monctonian007 1357]

Here's one that won't get many clients.... or would it women be crazy.

 

"Hung like a Hampster!!! Hey at least it wont hurt you"

[contraman 5480]

who've met me and said "Hey! That looks just like a penis, only smaller!"

[someguy 67067]

I am a gentleman, The woman alway's cum's first :) and second and third...

[BownChickaBown 4829]

Not an asshole. Will pay you. Snuggles included. :)

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Reading this thread again, forgot how funny these are! We are so lucky ladies to have such creative and sweet Gentlemen to service us, hehehe...

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

Hey Ladies....Wassup??

 

This extremely low volume provider can add some tasty cumin to your spice cabinet of love. Special on lic-o-wish sticks today only.

 

Just show up anytime before kick-off or during half time.

Please, no tests or privy calls.

 

1 888 SIN-aMan

 

When arriving, ask Ernie at the Irving station for the key. Please be diskreete

[Guest a**4*]

Ladies i am a sin you are a sinner let's repent together then do it all over again.....;)

[Annalise Lane 662]

A mature (aka older) well spoken gentlman offering a BFE

 

Peace

MG

 

 

Does that mean you leave your socks on ?

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Ladies how would you like to be covered in fur?

With lots of cuddling too!

 

XOXO

Cub

 

[mikey76 438]

shy but willing to try for that pleasure in your eye. mold me into the stud you have always wanted. i will house clean , cook and listen to everything you say. now come and get me before its to late.

 

 

ps

some mandatory thing full service to your place

i put out plain and simple

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Hey Ladies....Wassup??

 

This extremely low volume provider can add some tasty cumin to your spice cabinet of love. Special on lic-o-wish sticks today only.

 

Just show up anytime before kick-off or during half time.

Please, no tests or privy calls.

 

1 888 SIN-aMan

 

When arriving, ask Ernie at the Irving station for the key. Please be diskreete

 

 

Hahhaah Irving station! Funny!!

[Guest *ig*a**]

Hey Ladies want to spend a little time with me. My stats 5'2"" tall, 195lbs with a stunning 31/2 " micro-penis. Always available on short and I mean short notice. Can travel. Seniors discount available, call now.

Posted via Mobile Device

[LeeRichards 177238]

Do I make you horny baby ?? !! Randy ?? !!!

 

Well pop on down to Lee's Lair for allota luvin baby ! Mojo you say ? Yeah baby Yeah ! Grrrrrrrr ..... I have a Goldmember :D

 

READ THE FINE PRINT BABY

 

FS, Daty is a must, Multiple orgasms welcome ladies :), , strap on...on you but no where near me, NO COUPLES, no couples, YMMV but mileage is always good and light spanking is encouraged

 

Please place your donation discreetly between your breasts when you enter my lair and I will very slowly remove them with my teeth baby ;) I won't bite....hard.....you can place the bills in an envelope but prefer one bill at a time ;)

[toklat77 4616]

I'm house broken and have still have my own teeth and hair and I only need two naps a day!

[Old Dog 179138]

Imagine yourself on an intimate tropical island...

Palm trees swaying in the warm breeze...

The sand between your toes warming your every step...

The ocean, pristine, waiting only for you...

You see him... tall, tanned... built like a Greek god.

He smiles.

His dazzling white teeth sparkle in the sunlight...

His bronze skin glows, freshly oiled...

And when he moves... when he moves...

You see the fat white guy in the speedo, lying on the shore behind him.

 

Wanna piece of this???

[emiafish 30979]

Let me be one of your best regrets. Satisfaction guaranteed or the next time is free. Free parking, shower and slightly used soap available on request. Must like fish.

[Rounding Third 9567]

Polite mature gentleman is searching for liaisons with a professional female companion. I am experienced, respectful and very appreciative. The lady's age or body style does not matter. What does matter are smiles, kindness, sweetness and sincere conversation. And from there.....well, we will create together whatever magic we create!!:wink:...

[Brad 49548]

Tall and respectful gentleman offering BFE, PSE, or the especially popular LKE.

 

Not familiar with LKE? It's the "Lurker experience" and I guarantee you haven't felt anything like it.

 

That's right, do you want someone to look through your galleries and read your posts without ever commenting or messaging but only daydream from their computer how wonderful it would be to actually make contact? If so, then the LKE is for you! Few have the discipline to spend the years of practice necessary to truly master the LKE, so book now because (hopefully!) it won't be available forever.

[LeeRichards 177238]

If you like BB and BB and BB then I am your perfect RBE !!!!

 

Acronym translation

 

I may be a man of mystery....but if you like BB big butts and BB big belly's and BB blue balls then I am your perfect RFE Redneck Boyfriend Experience :)

 

Just sext me anytime....24/7 !!! I will line up some transportation .... Hi Ho Silver and I will be there lickity split !!!

 

Cya soon ladies ;)

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

Let Passion pass its' wind through the curtains of your mind, over the lagoon of your love to the doorknob of desire. Knock and enter.

 

When you hear my Siren call then you know you are close cuz I live behind a fire station.

 

Let's make this a Wetnesday to remember for all the right reasons, instead of like last time. (Mental note: candle wax hot, flame hotter)

 

I am now accepting appointments, suggestions, implications and insinuations for TODAY, ToMoRRoW or any day after up until my next court appearance. The best way to reach me is to leave a note under the front mat or with Warren, the kid on the skateboard.

 

Please be dixiestreet, no cursive writing and no nuns. Sorry, it's a habit of mine.

 

Lugs and Hisses

The Happy Harpy

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I am so happy to see this thread come alive again, my gosh, I am laughing my pants off!! hahah, Thanks guys!

[Guest t****ster***ke]

hey ladies, remember when you spurned my advances and said, "not if i was the last man on earth"? well, it's time to put that one to the test, because cbc news has reported a mass alien castration of the male of the species, and it's looks like they didn't quite feel like i was man enough for their project! well, their scathing indictment of my genitalia is your gain, ladies! now let's behave civilly, single file, and please, no pushing or shoving. and to answer your next question, yes, i do offer full-service {at a premium, naturally} ;)