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Why do you hobby instead of random hookups?

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hello friends!

i'm new to this website, but i'm not new to hobby:)

just want to say hi & ask you what your reasons :) im sure i know mine lol

 

This questions is directed to hobbiests.

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Well I prefer the term lifestyle to hobby, how can interpersonal intimate relations be considered a hobby...stamp collecting is a hobby

That aside, I've done the dating thing. Nothing panned out. Almost married once, and the other woman I dated and was serious about long story short, stalked me. Other relationships no chemistry.

At my age now, going to bars, well in my younger days I had it, but now 51 years old, bald, and a belly, well bar hopping isn't my thing anymore

But seeing escorts, the ladies provide me with much needed female companionship, both social and sexual with no strings attached. And while in my dating days, I was monogamous and faithful, never cheated,

one aspect of this lifestyle I love is the poly amorous nature of it. No possessiveness on anyone's part, or there shouldn't be.

And the ladies I've met have been, with the odd exception, friendly, intelligent, a sense of humour and down to earth, they don't fit the stereotype mainstream society would have of escorts. And my experience in this lifestyle has been far more positive than my dating experience

RG

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Random hookups are precisely that .... Random. You need to go out, hit a club, chat someone up, hit on several girls and still possibly strike out. I'd rather go with the sure thing.

 

Porthos

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I'd rather go with the sure thing.

 

Exacty, no bullshit, no game playing, no worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. It's so much simpler and more enjoyable.

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Because encounters in this hobby are an experience beyond the normal. The attention you get, the company, the fact you can pick and choose which lady to see and not deal with the drama of bar girls.

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Why do I hobby? Because...

 

1) I'm undateable - for many reasons, including choice :)

2) One night stands, when attainable, often carry risk of someone wanting to date me, which then brings me back to 1)

3) Hobbying makes it possible for me to meet hotties I would never other have a chance in H-E-Double-Hockey-Stix with, let alone share the company of, or even talk to me.

4) It's easier and less taxing than dating once you crunch all the numbers.

5) The hobbying community is, in my experience, much more friendly and fun than the dating community.

6) I only live once - and she says she can do WHAT with me? :boobeyes: Giddy-up! :makeout:

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For me the reasons are:

 

While I did have fun with conventional dating up to my early 30's however the years since it has been more hit and miss. Life will always carry some drama but dating drama began to overtake dating fun. For that reason I decided to step away from dating for the time being.

 

Remembering all of the money spent on bad dates and on party girl bar tabs I would have been better off to have started this lifestyle 10 years ago - would have spent half the money and easily had 5 times the fun.

 

I am a quiet and shy by nature so the bar scene was never my natural habitat. The opportunity to get to read the ladies posts, meet at the socials etc makes for a much more fun and comfortable interaction.

 

Most importantly the ladies of CERB are far and away more fun and have more depth, honesty, respect and intelligence and are more beautiful than any lady I could hope to meet in a bar.

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For me, I had a pretty good marriage, and raised a couple of great kids. I still socialize in to some extent, but value my solitary life. I like to travel, and really am not ready to invest in another relationship.

 

This is a no fuss way to maintain a health sex life, and still have a fairly uncomplicated retirement, void of drama. I would note that I do get a bit attached to those ladies I do see.

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Picking up is just way too much of a hassle. If I go out to some pickup joint and spend my night charming women, by the time we actually go somewhere to have sex, I'll probably be tired and just feel like a nap.

 

And like others have said, through hobbying I get to be with lovers who are way sexier than I normally would and who are more committed to my pleasure than most women I've been with.

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Besides the fact that companionship is an awesome open-ended sabbatical option from my professional career, I have to say that I much prefer this NSA lifestyle over "random hook ups" that can be found in bars (or any other venue) for much of the same reasons that have already been mentioned.

 

As a single women who enjoys her freedom and prefers to keep everything as simple as possible, I find that even having a FwB (or more than one) can get way too complicated at times.

 

I love this lifestyle for all that it has to offer and I don't believe I will ever be able to go back to "traditional dating" again... Even if I could, it would take someone 'out of this world' to get me to look passed all my hang-ups about relationships.

 

Being a companion and spending time with like-minded gentlemen works for me :)

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I think we're going to need a new social group for commitment-phobes at this rate :)

 

If you're not looking for a relationship, the great thing about seeing SPs is that you know exactly what you're going to get, and what the expectations are. There's never any issues about calling in the morning (or not); if you don't get on that well, then you simply move along and there's no hard feelings or recriminations on either side. There's no question of stringing someone along just to get them into bed, or of anyone feeling used or deceived afterwards. All of this saves a great deal of hassle.

 

As far as random hookups go... been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the bar bills and probably the liver damage too :) I've never been one those people who can walk into a bar and strike up a conversation with a random stranger; and I've always hated that slightly desperate feeling towards the end of the night when you start to think, "Okay, you'll do" and end up with someone who's thinking the same about you. It's just not much fun, in the long run; it's far better to be able to go and see someone who I think I have a good chance of getting on well with. My hit-rate isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than it ever was in bars. And finally, once you do get into bed, it's far better if everyone's sober.

 

And finally - but by no means least - this way I get to play with people who are waaay out of my league. What's not to like? :)

Edited by Phaedrus

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I would also add that a majority of the time random hook ups involve alcohol, and personally, I have never found drunk sex to be that great. Obviously alcohol inhibits libido, and to me, just generally cheapens the overall experience.

 

It's a lot more fun when both parties are in a solid state of mind. Good clean sober playtime is always more stimulating and fun! Both physically and mentally. And it also makes it easier to remember all the sexy details later on too! lol

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Guest La***nico***

I like the "Sure thing" comment...the guess work is gone, no drama, and I work in a very public industry so cannot be seen out in the bar scene picking someone up....not good for the reputation. I would rather have quality time with someone who appraocsh sex with a very mature,adult mindset and then have no strings attached afterwards. It works for me!

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