A bbbj talk.

[The General 11309]

I personally am surprised that two thirds of the ladies that have responded feel pressured. I am further surprised that only 18 have put up a response, not sure what to make of that.

 

I would hope that those that feel pressured, that isn't directly from the gentlemen, but more so that they feel that they need it to be competitive. And that isn't just in this life, think about all the athletes that put drugs into their bodies to be competitive and they would do it again, knowing the risks, which can be much more severe than the risk of a BBBJ. A lot of athletes shorten their lives because of it, and in some sports, the physical brutality, especially football can have some long term brain damage effects. So, why are they doing it, it is because the rewards can be significant. Smokers on the other hand, can't figure that one out.

 

Anyway, the point being there are risk taken in life, we need to be aware of them, and make a decision that is right based on balancing the risks and considering the outcomes of not taking those risks. In the end, you shouldn't feel pressured, you should feel you made an informed decision. If you don't feel comfortable because of the risks, then perhaps those risks outweigh the benefit, and therefore you should not offer the service.

 

I sure hope it isn't happening (the pressure) during an encounter, but suspect it may at times. The only one that bothers me are the ones that tell you up front they offer it, and when you arrive they now tell you they don't, must have been some misunderstanding. That is not right, and this happens too.

[lastchance69 914]

I think the general said it well.

 

For myself BBBJ is not something I look for explicitly. I've had encounters with ladies that have gone both ways; Some advertising as FS and only delivering a HJ. Others offering GFE and delivering a BBBJ. I think it really depends on the chemistry between you and perhaps the ladies simply had a bad day, happens to all of us. I always walk away with a smile!

[crankF 12893]

Great thread peachy, thanks. I voted for only sp's who do cbj, I haven't always thought that but am now that way inclined.

 

Here are a few random thoughts.

 

Who doesn't enjoy a cute lady's soft, wet lips gliding on their bare schlong? Bj's are relative to the performer. The best ones I've had were bare, but also the worst. Nothing worse than dry lips or teeth on bare cock skin. Never had a bad cbj, also the sucking can go til drained and soft with no worries.

 

I'm an old guy who just started dabbling in the hobby a few years ago. Some of my fondest memories are of my first sp, sadly no longer in the biz. A beautiful Dominican mixed race lady, all of 20 yrs old. I spent many fun filled hours w/her including off the clock coffees and lunch. She had a unique style, a combo of old fashioned FS and a little nastiness to boot. a safe/pse if there is such a thing. Example:cbj only, but sometimes ending with a very porny hj resulting in semen as skin moisturizer. At that time. I'd never heard of covered daty or I would've tried it.

 

The majority of women go right at it bareback, bj I mean. I've been refused cbj, "don't like latex taste". Why don't they have some flavored or non lubed rubbers available?Also been told they just don't like it. The only cerbie I see with any regularity(i'm in the States),I trust, andshe always goes down bare, although last time she got over enthusiastic and bruised the wienis.lol I hadn't thought of this before but apparently this must mean my organ is not unattractive. Also in the past I have asked some ladies about covered daty and they acted like I was a freakazoid, very humiliating. I have on occasion, had stanky pussies planted over my face that I would've preferred not to eat, but I'm too shy to refuse.

 

I agree with Cap Hunter's position although for me, no cob or cof might be a deal breaker.

 

I saw recently a response to a posting on bbfs. Roughly paraphrasing, he felt it was everyone's right to take risks and control their own destiny. He might better find some other way to play Russian roulette. There are sick fucks out there who would knowingly spread HIV out of spite, or to "spread the risk" for fun.

 

Peachy, if I were an sp, I know what I would choose. Sorry dudes my mouth is unavailable.lol

[whiteman 14028]

One comment that's surprised me in this thread is the assertion from some providers that this is a recent trend that they've been feeling pressured into providing. I've been in this hobby a while, and I gotta say that it's by no means a recent trend. I've had BBBJ as far back as the early 90's, and I'm sure it was nothing new even back then. Also it was always provided without any request from me, and for no extra money: providers would just provide it when they feel comfortable with you.

 

I think what may actually be a new trend is making this a monetized extra service. Maybe if providers decided that it's too risky and that instead of providing this service, they just reduced the cost of the service instead. That way guys can look at the services and costs involved and weigh the cost/benefit in their heads. When I look at the prices of many SP's, they are almost all the same prices, equally high, but you can't tell the level of service they provide, which might piss off customers if they expect something and don't get it. Maybe if the prices were lower on some forms of service, people would still want to go see those providers, knowing that they won't get a certain service, but that they'll also pay less because of it?

 

I know everybody wants to be considered a Ferrari or a Lamborghini, but sometimes just being a Mercedes or a BMW is good enough?

[The General 11309]

Whiteman,

 

Thanks for the perspective, yes I agree this is not a new trend at all, bbbj has been around for quite some time, the removal of bbfs has been gone for a long time, and should be gone forever, but obviously creeps back into the discussion from time to time.

 

The concern I would have with pricing, is that too many gents are looking for a bargain without sacrificing quality of service and will still seek the extras. Maybe I am wrong, but it could. It also might put pressure on those providing the extra services to lower their prices, and we end up right back where we started. Although I guess from a hobbyist perspective, lower overall pricing.

[Areez 11906]

Personally it not a deal breaker for me. If the lady offers it great - if not not a big deal.

But all this talk about BBBJ makes me horny and want a nice sloppy BBBJ now. --wink--

[cat 262460]

I personally am surprised that two thirds of the ladies that have responded feel pressured. I am further surprised that only 18 have put up a response, not sure what to make of that.

 

I would hope that those that feel pressured, that isn't directly from the gentlemen, but more so that they feel that they need it to be competitive. And that isn't just in this life, think about all the athletes that put drugs into their bodies to be competitive and they would do it again, knowing the risks, which can be much more severe than the risk of a BBBJ. A lot of athletes shorten their lives because of it, and in some sports, the physical brutality, especially football can have some long term brain damage effects. So, why are they doing it, it is because the rewards can be significant. Smokers on the other hand, can't figure that one out.

 

If our $ numbers were anywhere near a pro athletes income, I would agree but I assure you it isn't even tho our careers are usually about the same length. Athletes also have a social step up in terms of the lack of stigma attached to their career after they retire that we don't have.

In the end, you shouldn't feel pressured, you should feel you made an informed decision. If you don't feel comfortable because of the risks, then perhaps those risks outweigh the benefit, and therefore you should not offer the service.

 

And at the end of the month when we haven't generated enough to take care of responsibilities, what do we do? Especially when it happens month after month? While some providers have employment options, many of us don't. I was turned down for a job at Tim Hortons! The direct pressure from guests is manageable most of the time, it's the pressure comes from the fact we have families to support and bills to pay like everyone else is what grinds down the spirit and that's when decisions get made that we later regret. I know I certainly do. I think given there is risk, it's narcissistic to even consider making it a mandatory requirement...

 

cat

[whiteman 14028]

Whiteman,

 

Thanks for the perspective, yes I agree this is not a new trend at all, bbbj has been around for quite some time, the removal of bbfs has been gone for a long time, and should be gone forever, but obviously creeps back into the discussion from time to time.

There's a huge difference between BBBJ and BBFS, and I'm not even sure how these two topics are getting conflated together. The moral and physical implications of these two are worlds apart.

 

The concern I would have with pricing, is that too many gents are looking for a bargain without sacrificing quality of service and will still seek the extras. Maybe I am wrong, but it could. It also might put pressure on those providing the extra services to lower their prices, and we end up right back where we started. Although I guess from a hobbyist perspective, lower overall pricing.

I'm sure plenty of gents are going to try it, no doubt whatsoever. But as I said, if there is a reasonable pricing difference between BBBJ and non-BBBJ services, then many guys will probably settle for non-BBBJ just for the difference in pricing alone. So the girls can then tell these guys that: (1) they don't offer it, so they can get it from another provider; or (2) they can get it from them for a premium. Treat it like having a quick shower, vs. a long luxurious bath: both will get you equally clean.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

In a few words, it's at my discretion and I have a few prerequisites for it so if the client doesn't meet them, it's going to be a CBJ. And I don't let anyone pressure or guilt me into anything. If I don't want to do something or it's out of my comfort level, I won't do it no matter what anyone says.

[Guest]

If I provided cbj instead of bbbj, I would not lower my price because the value I give is a great companionship. I do not think that ladies who provide cbj should be less than the ladies that provide bbbj's. It a whole package experience your getting from the second you walk in the door until the second you leave. I'm sure that some gentlemen do not think they are a good fit with ladies who don't provide bbbj but that doesn't mean that every gentleman out there will feel the same way. It is unfair to say that escorts who provide cbj's should be less than escorts who provide bbbj's because in the end they are spending the same amount of effort in their sessions for their clients.

[Guest ot***amal***]

I agree with what a lot of hobbyists have said that not having bbbj is not a deal breaker. I don't use it to decide whether or not I'll see an sp.

[cat 262460]

There's a huge difference between BBBJ and BBFS, and I'm not even sure how these two topics are getting conflated together. The moral and physical implications of these two are worlds apart.

 

I'm sorry, I don't understand the difference morally or physically. As far as I'm concerned they are really no different. Both are putting a providers health at risk, therefore threatening her livelihood. Would you mind clarifying?

 

I'm sure plenty of gents are going to try it, no doubt whatsoever. But as I said, if there is a reasonable pricing difference between BBBJ and non-BBBJ services, then many guys will probably settle for non-BBBJ just for the difference in pricing alone. So the girls can then tell these guys that: (1) they don't offer it, so they can get it from another provider; or (2) they can get it from them for a premium. Treat it like having a quick shower, vs. a long luxurious bath: both will get you equally clean.

 

This paragraph makes no sense to me at all. I should charge less for the same amount of time invested and effort spent because I'm trying to protect myself, my clients and the people we collectively love? A little clarification would help here as well...

 

cat

[Guest *wee**asm****]

Peachy, honestly if this is something you're on the fence about or do not feel 100% comfortable about then don't offer it anymore. No amount of money will ever buy you peace of mind.

 

When I first started, I actually worked for an agency for like 2 days. The second day it was made very clear to me that if I did not start offering BBBJ's that I quote "would never make it in the business". I was told that guys would call for me but hang up once they found out that I did not offer BBBJ's. I felt like I was the only one not offering it but I stayed true to myself and what I felt comfortable with. And I haven't been in the business long but I assure you I am doing more then fine. I even let the guys know that this is one of my main restrictions even before we meet.

 

I have met great men, many of whom are friends and regulars now, some who I know prefer BBBJ's but have never pressured me in any way and continue seeing me because at the end of the day it's all about the over all experience to these wonderful gentlemen. And at the end of the day these are the type of clients you want. The clients who care about your health and their own, the ones that truly enjoy your company along with your body.

 

Peachy, Ladies, we're all fortunate enough to be independent, beautiful and successful. No matter what kind of pressures come our way, I know one thing for certain and I am so thankful that no matter what, I am in charge of my body and can at anytime refuse men who compare us to cars. It's not always easy but its business, for every client you lose, you will gain another who wants the same thing. You probably will have to sacrifice some income now but with time you will meet other clients who prefer safety. To me success comes with happiness, if you stay true to yourself, only do what you are comfortable with, you will be happy and in return you will be able to provide an even better experience for your client. And those are the ones that will want to come back.

 

Lastly, reading some of the comments on here about pricing, luxury cars and what not, I just wanna say: As an SP I don't set my donation according to whether I provide a specific service or not. I do not sit there and calculate what my life is worth and what kind of a discount I should provide if it is worth something to me. I may be very naive but I was under the impression that this business was about much more then just sex. We offer much more then just great sex and I'm sure the clients we want to see and the ones who keep coming back feel the same.

 

And Thank You to those gentlemen who respect our limits and care for our well being and their own.

 

xox

Jasmine

[livefast1098 2151]

I may be out of line here since it's a little hard to feel "intent" in posts like these but I sense a certain bitterness coming through the post from many ladies on this thread. A bitterness directed towards their clientele for their changing tastes and expectations.

 

In a competitive and capitalist market as the hobby, which it is wether we like to admit it or not, there will always be an evolution of product offerings as clientele's tastes change. I for one can relate to this as I am myself in the retail and service business and have not always been happy with the changes brought upon by the market. But in the end I measure the pros and cons and decide to continue on or switch fields.

 

Of course I'm not advocating giving in to all customer demands, especially when a persons heath and well being is concerned, but at some point in time a retailer decided it was a good business decision to sacrifice family time to open on Sundays, just like a service provider decided it was a good business decision to start DFK and both eventually became the norm.

 

Now who's to blame for this? The retailer/service provider for offering the service or the customers who asked for it? ... Think about it!

 

To blame or resent our clientele for their changing expectations is a dangerous slope to be on. We need our clients to survive, they are not the enemy. If we feel they are, maybe our field of work is not for us anymore. We also have to be careful not to apply what annoys us about a limited number of "bad clients" to our entire clientele. It is always easier to remember the one guy that complained over the 10 that said "thanks"!

 

P.S.: I know my analogies are fairly simplistic but I didn't have the time or the inclination to write a complete essay on the subject.

[cat 262460]

@livefast1080

 

Your analogy doesn't hold true to this industry. A more accurate comparison is to an asbestos removal company that strips down hazmat equipement because the workers probably won't get cancer from handling the asbestos and if it happens it won't be for a long time. Or a construction company that doesn't want their workers to wear hard hats because it's easier to identify who's who on the site.

 

As an industry we have no health and safety legislation in place and quite honestly we need some. If the ladies are sounding a little hostile it is because we are being pushed to take easily preventable health risks. It's not annoyance we bring forward, its genuine frustration and disgust at the lackadaisical and laissez faire attitude that we consistently get from men who don't give a shit if they are doing something that puts their provider at risk, regardless of how they view the risk. This shouldn't even be a conversation let alone one that pops up every month...

 

cat

[FineWineDiva 7343]

 

To the question at hand...to me...I get zero out of cbj and would much rather do other stuff if that was my option. I'm not a FS kind of guy (weird I know) so other things play an even more important role in the encounter I would seek - like having nice feet.

 

Do people actually agree with this statement?

 

.

 

Its NOT weird weird at all , everyone is has there sensual desirer's .

Believe me your not the only whom appreciates a lady's sexy feet

[livefast1098 2151]

@livefast1080

 

Your analogy doesn't hold true to this industry. A more accurate comparison is to an asbestos removal company that strips down hazmat equipement because the workers probably won't get cancer from handling the asbestos

 

cat

 

Of course my analogy was never meant to compare risks levels. I can assure you that I'm not that intellectually challenged!

 

My argument was more on the level of "changing business trends" and businesses' sentiment towards their customers. Wether we like it or not businesses evolve, most times for the better and sometimes for the worst. It is the responsibility of all parties involved to make sure it does so in a mutually beneficial way. Consumers will always ask for more and businesses have to temper unreasonable demands but cannot chastize the whole clientele when a "retailer/service provider" common front breaks down and acquiesces to those demands. Some of the blame has to go to the businesses involved also. Comes down to a "did the chicken or the egg come first": did the consumer take that product offering because it was first offered to him or was it offered because he asked?

 

If I look at my own personal experience in the matter at hand, DFK , DATY and BBBJ was offered to me when I started the Hobby this past fall without me asking for it. I was very surprised about it because my previous encounters of many years ago when I sought the service in between GFs was all business, with minimal skin contact and all services covered. Now is it my fault that I suddenly, today, "expect" in some sense (but will never "demand" I assure you) to receive these new services since that's what was proposed to me on a regular basis from providers?

[cat 262460]

Of course my analogy was never meant to compare risks levels. I can assure you that I'm not that intellectually challenged!

 

My argument was more on the level of "changing business trends" and businesses' sentiment towards their customers. Wether we like it or not businesses evolve, most times for the better and sometimes for the worst. It is the responsibility of all parties involved to make sure it does so in a mutually beneficial way. Consumers will always ask for more and businesses have to temper unreasonable demands but cannot chastize the whole clientele when a "retailer/service provider" common front breaks down and acquiesces to those demands. Some of the blame has to go to the businesses involved also. Comes down to a "did the chicken or the egg come first": did the consumer take that product offering because it was first offered to him or was it offered because he asked?

 

If I look at my own personal experience in the matter at hand, DFK , DATY and BBBJ was offered to me when I started the Hobby this past fall without me asking for it. I was very surprised about it because my previous encounters of many years ago when I sought the service in between GFs was all business, with minimal skin contact and all services covered. Now is it my fault that I suddenly, today, "expect" in some sense (but will never "demand" I assure you) to receive these new services since that's what was proposed to me on a regular basis from providers?

 

Because our industry is unregulated, there is no training and when an inexperienced sp hits the scene she is descended upon by the lower ranks of hobbyists. The ones searching for the affordable diamond in the rough and the majority of those men want bbbj's. If she is a lone wolf, she will have no one to go to for advice. She may be apprehensive but when her tongue doesn't fall off in the first month, she develops the "it's not so bad" attitude and continues on. She assumes she has to provide it and all clients want it. It takes time to develop the understanding of what is happening and realize there are options. Might I ask, did it concern you that she provided a bb service without asking permission?

 

cat

[Guest]

Lifefast I can understand what you are trying to say but I feel a little different than you.

 

For myself I'm very thankful to have the clients I have and the time they spend on me. I know that without my clients I would have nothing in this industry. I am very willing to listen to my clients needs and their wants. I was willing to go forward with bbbj because of the lesser risks argument but now I'm starting to think, is this worth it? The fact is a lot of people have come to expect bbbj and if I was to remove this from the list of services I would probably loose some clients. This does not make me bitter because that's just part of this business. I truly believe that Lexi and Jasmine are right, at first I would loose money by providing cbj but in the end it would balance out. The wonderful part of this industry is the variety in women and men, there's someone for everyone. If I move forward with bbbj or cbj I will hold myself accountable for my actions.

 

I am happy that this conversation is very informative. I enjoy learning new things. I would never pretend to be a doctor and I could probably do my own research but that's what this community is about. We talk about the things that interest us, effect us and are part of our cerb society. Maybe some ladies are bitter about having to provide bbbj and have strong feelings about providing this particular service. I don't see any harm in anyone expressing their feelings. This is the place to express how you feel. It kind of like the saying speak now or forever hold your peace. It is the ladies who take a risk everyday by providing bbbj, so I think it is very important to read their opinion on the matter. It is important to read both the providers side of the coin and the clients side of the coin.

 

I also think that some ladies sound a bit bitter. I would like to use the word PROTECTIVE is because some clients truly think that escorts who provide cbj are not as valuable as escorts who provide bbbj. Comments like escorts who provide cbj should give deals or a premium is a direct example. Comments like that are the comments that make some ladies feel pressured into providing bbbj in the first place. No one's worth should be placed on a blow job and maybe that's why you see some ladies getting a little frustrated and protective. It is our job to provide what makes us feel comfortable but at the same token comments about provides needing to provide a deal for cbj should not be taking place at all. It is an overall experience that most gentlemen are looking for and it takes the same amount of time and effort to provide this experience.

[tbaymike 130]

My humble opinion... Most will agree that the gfe moniker does imply that bbbj is included, and I would argue that ALL hobbiests would agree the experience is far superior. That being said, if a lady chooses cbj, perhaps she should avoid the gfe label or stipulate all safe services. I still don't believe it would be a deal breaker for anyone. There are sooooo many things that go into a successful encounter and the vast majority of ladies here on cerb are skilled enough to make it a non-issue. Ultimately, your comfort level is the deciding factor and the power is, and always will be, in your hands. xo.

[Alyssa Staxxx 4412]

Because our industry is unregulated, there is no training and when an inexperienced sp hits the scene she is descended upon by the lower ranks of hobbyists. The ones searching for the affordable diamond in the rough and the majority of those men want bbbj's. If she is a lone wolf, she will have no one to go to for advice. She may be apprehensive but when her tongue doesn't fall off in the first month, she develops the "it's not so bad" attitude and continues on. She assumes she has to provide it and all clients want it. It takes time to develop the understanding of what is happening and realize there are options. Might I ask, did it concern you that she provided a bb service without asking permission?

 

cat

 

 

Here in lies the issue, both the brand new service provider as well as the new hobbiest entering or re-entering the industry today are faced with an abundance of choices unknowingly...if the SP/Client is exposed to safer practices/risk awareness from the beginning, chances are they will continue along those lines...more often than not, the case is the opposite, and a brand new individual to the business, both buyer and seller, is first exposed to the worst of the worst scenarios without proper guidance and then usually learns/becomes aware/is educated regarding risk potential/safer practices along the way.

 

Hopefully, for most, this learning curve/education comes sooner rather than later and does not come the hard way via negative consequences.

[livefast1098 2151]

Might I ask, did it concern you that she provided a bb service without asking permission?

 

cat

 

Great question! Thinking about it I was more surprised than concerned. I wasn't the best informed customer out there since I hadn't found Cerb yet but I had some knowledge that the bbbj was of lesser risk to me than to her. Now I had a very good idea of my own health status so I knew I wasn't putting the SP at risk and is why I rolled with it ... and continued receiving it when it was offered but never asking for it as I believe it is a privilege.

 

However, DATY I wasn't informed on at all and therefore didn't partake in the offering even if she told me it was fine! (see, both sides have their issues!!). Once I read on it and found that the "relatively" lower risk was acceptable to me I started doing it with a selected few ladies I felt comfortable with, a comfort level established through either one-on-one discussions with fellow hobbyists or established through repeat visits.

 

On the subject that my Sweet little Jasmine ;) brought up about the tangent that this thread as taken on the "deal making" or "rebates" ... sorry I don't know how to do multiple quotes in one post :( ... I want to be on record saying that I seek first and foremost a passionate encounter, one that transcends the mere sex act. Therefor I pay for my overall experience with the lady and not a "by the numbers" menu board. It wouldn't be GFE otherwise.

[Guest t****ster***ke]

i don't know what the name for this industry's community is called, but it is far more connected than most of us realize. the risks that thrill a select few can have very damaging effects on the rest of us. now it should be said, i don't appreciate scare tactics, and i think some people have a rather "sky is falling" attitude towards certain aspects of sexual activity, but almost all forms of unprotected sex pose some form of risk, and as many of us "share" many of the wonderful women who grace this industry, it is far too simplistic to say, "i'm clean, she looks clean, let's do this".

 

i don't have a long form essay to write, and i am not really targeting one specific practice, though uncovered bj was the service listed on the thread. i just think everyone who partakes or provides in this industry should take a few moments to think about what they're doing and how they're doing it, if only to ensure that no one walks away with anything more than a smile on their face.

 

happy hobbying (and providing) everyone!

[The General 11309]

Wow, does this imply that the experienced SP that provides bbbj is naive. I think that many have made this an informed decision, not a naive one. I certainly wouldn't want to convey a message otherwise.

 

Here in lies the issue, both the brand new service provider as well as the new hobbiest entering or re-entering the industry today are faced with an abundance of choices unknowingly...if the SP/Client is exposed to safer practices/risk awareness from the beginning, chances are they will continue along those lines...more often than not, the case is the opposite, and a brand new individual to the business, both buyer and seller, is first exposed to the worst of the worst scenarios without proper guidance and then usually learns/becomes aware/is educated regarding risk potential/safer practices along the way.

 

Hopefully, for most, this learning curve/education comes sooner rather than later and does not come the hard way via negative consequences.

[Alyssa Staxxx 4412]

No an experienced SP is making decisions based her own experiences and knowledge.