Single

[Guest Em*lyO**o (Retired)]

I'm a single girl who obviously works for a living. I have a ft job but do extra work on the side. I don't want to work forever and would like to be in a real relationship. I know girls in the industry who are in relationships and it doesn't seem to bother them or the bf. I wonder how many men are really out there who wouldn't mind. I also wonder if the bf are just using the girls to sponge off of.

[Fresh start 17467]

I have never dating a girl in the industry but don't think it would bother me. I may worry from time to time if we were to meet and you're late and don't call, but ultimately I'm the type of person who would trust you until you break that trust. Your job is your job and that how I see it. I can't speak for everybody that just how I feel.

 

As for sponging off of you, I have my own job. If a time comes when you find someone maybe its wise if he has a job and you set things clear from the start. Your money is yours and his is his. This doesn't mean when you go out separate bill but as long as he pays his fair share.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

As in everything, there are those people who mind and those who don't, those who give in relationships and those who are parasites.

 

I think the big questions here are the ones you need to ask yourself. Do you want to continue as an SP in a relationship or not? What are you looking for in a partner and a relationship? Once you know the answer to these questions to make yourself happy, you simply look for partners who will blend with you into what you're looking for. If you want to be an SP yet you have someone completely monogamous or jealous, it will never work, don't delude yourself thinking it will. If you want a strong man who does not sponge off you, then don't allow him to and if you see the behavior send him packing. Life is all about choices and making life into what we want it to be. You either chose things that will do this or you don't, either way, you have a choice.

 

Good luck!

[xxxAxxx 21016]

I think, in this case, only 2 opinions matter: Yours and the guy you are trying to be with. Sure, it would be nice to hear other people's views, but keep in mind their opinions ultimately mean nothing.

[zorobaby 4121]

i personally wouldnt mind dating/being involved with a woman in the industry provided she wasnt "high traffic" per-say. as was said earlier... your job is your job.

[RoddyThomas 2746]

Im not sure if it would bother me. I think if I really was into somebody it wouldn't matter. I would worry about safety, the same as if I was dating a policewoman kinda thing. As far as sponging, not this boy. I have pride. Lol. Even if she makes more than I do that's fine.

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Relationships are complicated so I agree with Alexxis that an opinion is not something that carries a lot of weight.

But here's mine....

The term boyfriend or girlfriend is a bit broad so if its a romantic relationship based on love that might be a bit tricky.

Its amazing the little things that start to cause friction over time even in the best conditions.

As far as the money angle goes you should really keep things separate, equal and business like.

The best way to ensure that you WILL work forever is to let someone else spend your money.

 

Your question does make me wonder if its possible to have a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding that provides emotionally and physically without complete dependance by both people.

 

J

[Wolf Knight 29667]

OP, realistically it will take a VERY strong man to be comfortable sharing his SO with others on any level. Open and honest communication as in any relationship is key if you want it to work. Personally, although I would be fine with sharing my SO with someone else sexually I'm a very protective person with the ones I love so I'm not sure if I could handle some of the issues that come with the job from a safety level. (I even worry about some of the SP's that I gotten to know hoping they're safe and treated well)

 

As another poster noted, the only real opinions that matter are yours and the person that you might be in a relationship with. As for the being a sponge part, that can be present regardless of the industry you work in. As you would in any respect look for a guy who's got a life of his own and is not likely to be a mooch.

[aimtoplease1 1839]

I have never dating a girl in the industry but don't think it would bother me. I may worry from time to time if we were to meet and you're late and don't call, but ultimately I'm the type of person who would trust you until you break that trust. Your job is your job and that how I see it. I can't speak for everybody that just how I feel.

 

As for sponging off of you, I have my own job. If a time comes when you find someone maybe its wise if he has a job and you set things clear from the start. Your money is yours and his is his. This doesn't mean when you go out separate bill but as long as he pays his fair share.

Well said...I have to agree.

[wonderbread 146]

I think that first of all, when you - a very pretty and sexy blonde girl - puts up a note asking if people would date you, it isn't surprising that you got a ton of replies in a very short time :)

 

Honestly, I think a lot of guys would go into the potential relationship with the best of intentions and an honest belief that your profession wouldn't be an issue day in and day out. For some guys it might stay that way, for some guys it wouldn't. It's like getting into a relationship with somebody that travels all the time. At the beginning it's great, but after weeks, months and years, even though you both knew what you were getting into - the time apart might start to be a problem and then the resentment starts to grow. Resentment is hard to overcome too.

 

Having said all that - of course it's possible for things to work out for you! I just think you have to both go into it realistically - not with loveblinders on. Communication would be so important because there are a lot of different feelings that would be stirred up - for both of you.

 

Bottom line is - you're a person who deserves to be loved and who deserves to be happy - and I have no doubt that there is somebody out there who will respect you for who you are - no matter what you do for a living!

[LeeRichards 177238]

I think, in this case, only 2 opinions matter: Yours and the guy you are trying to be with. Sure, it would be nice to hear other people's views, but keep in mind their opinions ultimately mean nothing.

 

Very true. Absolutely it is up to you and the guy. Hopefully there is a guy and you get a shot at it.

 

Just my opinion that will mean little....but from a guy to you Emily....I would welcome the opportunity to be happy with the woman I felt was possibly "the one" even if you are an SP. I will do my job, you do your job and at the end of the day if we are home or together or on a date and WANT to be together as a couple.....that's all that counts in my eyes.

 

I don't wear rose colored glasses and nothing is ever a guarantee for happiness in life. But....by my own experience life passes by faster than you think. I missed some happy years there. You look back and go WTF was I thinking !!! There are trials and tribulations and FAILS ! Until you try you will never know and ultimately you probably won't be happy.

 

PS....avoid the sponges though ;)

[Boomer 33202]

Like others have already said, it's really a matter for the two of you. I would say that if you do form a relationship that you are honest and open with one another, and discuss it thoroughly. You also have to be clear in your own mind what you are prepared to do if you don't get the answers you are hoping for. I think most guys whether they think them selves open minded enough to support your work, they might eventually show some jealously which can be a source of friction.

[Grenvillesa 130]

I'm currently dating an sp. Really like her but it is tough. I'm struggling with it myself partially because I help support her, so the money is kinda messy. Makes me question her motives sometimes, although she has never given me reason too.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I know girls in the industry who are in relationships and it doesn't seem to bother them or the bf. I wonder how many men are really out there who wouldn't mind.

 

Well, the impression I get is that there are guys who aren't OK with this, guys who are, and guys who claim they are but turn out not to be when it really comes down to it. The problem, obviously, is in distinguishing between the second and third types. Alas, I can give you no useful hints on how to do this; I fear you'll just have to be prepared to tell guys who can't deal with you as you are that you're done with them.

 

I also wonder if the bf are just using the girls to sponge off of.

 

Probably quite a few, but that's nothing to do with the job you happen to have :)

[Ashley Ann 75247]

I'm a single girl who obviously works for a living. I have a ft job but do extra work on the side. I don't want to work forever and would like to be in a real relationship. I know girls in the industry who are in relationships and it doesn't seem to bother them or the bf. I wonder how many men are really out there who wouldn't mind. , I also wonder if the bf are just using the girls to sponge off of.

 

 

I tend to stick to myself nowadays, but before I knew a lot of sp's ( not here on CERB) and the ladies that did have so called boyfriends, were pretty much useless losers along for the ride. They did not work, and they did not pay for ANYTHING...

 

That always use to make me laugh so hard because these women were out there doing things with men for money...and they go and take that money and take care of a man who does NOTHING :cooter:

 

They would try and rationalize this by saying to themselves that since they sleep with so many men, it was ok to take care of the man-they kinda figured it was their way of making it up to them....

 

Always follow your gut!

[VedaSloan 119179]

Speaking as one of the escorts in a committed relationship--no he's not sponging off of me. If anything, it's the other way around!

[Guest **zz**x]

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a woman - especially with the rather powerful women on CERB - and trying to sponge off them! Why would they put up with it when they are obviously able to attract so many other men? Makes no sense....

[roamingguy 300291]

I'm a single girl who obviously works for a living. I have a ft job but do extra work on the side. I don't want to work forever and would like to be in a real relationship. I know girls in the industry who are in relationships and it doesn't seem to bother them or the bf. I wonder how many men are really out there who wouldn't mind. I also wonder if the bf are just using the girls to sponge off of.

 

Professional companions are just as deserving of being loved and in a relationship as anyone else. And there are men who could and would be in love with a SP, just as there are SP's who if they met the right man (not necessarily a client) could fall in love with him.

Just my opinion, but if you met a man that you have feelings for, and wanted to pursue a relationship, you should make him aware of your profession. If it came as a surprise to him, he could confuse it with infidelity, but if explained openly he could be made to understand it is your livelihood, and doesn't threaten your relationship.

As for the question if your bf is just sponging off of you, first, that is a possibility that can happen in any relationship, irrespective of the lady's livelihood. In fact sometimes bf's sponge off their gf's, sometimes gf's sponge off their bf's, and it can happen irrespective of anyone's livelihood. It's not just unique to SP's with bf's. I would only suggest choose very carefully the man you want to be involved with. And if it turns out he does want to sponge off of you, that's a sign he doesn't love you so much as wants to make money off of you...and a reason to dump him. But that's just my opinion

Good luck

RG

[Ashley Ann 75247]

Just wanted to say that my response was dedicated to only part of the original question (in bold)....because that is what I recall with other sp's I knew from way back when, again NOT ladies from CERB. ;)

[Hollywood Thomson 553]

As someone who was a service provider and male stripper, dating a service provider and female stripper I can a lot of it has to do with trust and honesty as well as safety. I was doing what I did as a side job to pull in additional cash and main,y just for fun as I was living in a different town, did not know anyone and it lead to me getting to know some very nice people who I continue to have contact with to this day.

 

My girlfriend works very hard to be as safe as possible, she is super hygienic, as am I obviously, follows a full safe ruleset and we get along great. If she is doing outcalls I drive her to the location and am always no more than an elevator ride or a drive up the street and through the door away in case anything goes wrong, which has never happened.

 

Could we stop today and have normal 9-5 jobs, sure, I did, she has in the past, it is simply we enjoy the additional money more.

[Frank7 3939]

Yes some guys would be open to it. But as roamingguy said, you should be honnest from the start. If you pretend to be in a monogamous relation with him then he finds out, he probably won't be happy. And most of all, if he's having sex with you, he deserves to know you're active with other peoples, so he can decide if he wants the risk or not (just like people in open relationship)

 

Personnaly, i'd probably be okay with it, as long as the lady is present. If she's always out in the evening and the weekends, while i'm always out during the day for work, we wouldn't really be seeing each others. I know i wouldn't be okay dating a military girl for that part, if she's traveling elsewhere for months on time.

 

You mentionned that you don't think you'll work forever. Depending how long you see yourself in this business, it might make it easier for some guys that would eventually get jealous after months/years.

[spud271 47779]

Since again we have previously had this discussion, I will repeat what I have previously said. I have no issues with dating someone in the industry, I have been around it long enough to know how it all works. Whether it's a sp or ma, it would not matter to me. It's all about the person. You fall for the individual, not the profession. It has to be about trust between two people, if you can be honest with one another, than love will know no boundaries.

 

That's my nickle, would say two cents, but as there is no more penny!!!! LOL

[gqstyle 643]

It would be hard for sure...but everything in life has obstacles. Find the right guy that can overcome that in the long run (which i think would be the hardest) short term dating is little bit more easier.

[damian 257]

i personally would not mind it would be a total turn on for me. But I am a special breed when it comes to that :)

[herelookin 3510]

Hmmm, OK guess I'll be the odd one. LOL I really don't think I could or would... For me a relationship is a one-to-one thing, as simple as that.

 

Not saying that others couldn't or can't do it... just saying I doubt that I could so I wouldn't be open to it.

 

Now if someone was leaving or had left the business that something totally different and I'd be open to that but not while they were in it.