Question...Was I wrong?

[MellyBelly 15058]

So I saw this ad today on BP (yes I know...haha) that made me curious and decided to make contact. I asked for some general info and rate for an hour and the lady replied. Everything sounded good and even rate sounded ok, however it was high (actually higher than I ever paid). I replied to her ok sounds good but since rate is higher than accustomed to, can I ask if you have any more info or rec's/reviews posted online. She replied that this is the going rate in the city she is from so I replied rate is not a problem, but before I paid it, I would like to know if there are any reviews/info I could read first.

 

I assume now she took offence to this and replied..."OK I guess you don't need to see me then" I replied back that I am not trying to offend her and in no way negotiating price, but just wondered if there was any more info.

 

My question is.......Was I wrong to ask this of an SP?

 

I am a cautious guy and don't like to use the above site solely. I do my research when the info is available, as most do I expect. I don't feel I am in the wrong here for asking if there was more info. Actually, I would think that a reputable SP would be more than willing to provide links if such info exists.

 

Needless to say....I did not book!

[MightyPen 67414]

I don't think you were wrong to ask, though neither do I think she was wrong to decline your request and end the conversation if that's how she was inclined.

 

Presumably she has enough clients who are comfortable meeting her rate without question, that she can afford to screen clients who aren't.

 

It's just one of those human things; you and the SP were simply on different wavelengths and it didn't work out. No harm, no foul, just move on.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

As you said, any reputable SP's would direct you to reco's or input if there is any to be had. There are many threads on the business side where SP's discuss the importance of both client and SP making a good match which involves research. Personally it sounds like she thought you were questioning her rate not just making a statement about it. It was definitely a defensive reaction.

 

I would assume perhaps a new SP and not one accustomed to the business. All the ladies I have read about here would (and do) provide links to their reco's and feedback consistently and some even have it on websites. They understand that sometimes to make a decision especially where money is concerned, you need to do your homework.

 

My only suggestion would be if you run into this again, don't mention anything about the rate, instead ask for links to reco's or other information. Sometimes what you think and don't say works better to get you what you want with less hassle.

[NotchJohnson 214069]

You probably save yourself disappointment, if she would have offered some place to see any review/recommendation you could have made a clear decision but alas she did not offer, her loss.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I don't think you were wrong however, her not having recommendations and probably not being a member of a review board doesn't mean she is not a good provider. Maybe she hasn't heard of them or there are none where she is from.

 

I agree with you, she was deffensive which was probably what caused you to decide not to see her but had she reacted different or if ever in a similar situation I would suggest to communicate a bit with the lady in order to get an impression on her and decide to book or not, not all ladies are active on boards same way us providers know not all gentlemen have a reference or are members in review boards.

[Guest D***el B***e]

hummmm, interesting situation. From my own humble position, the fact she was reluctant to provide some info, and by your own description and what I can make of it, it sounded as if there was probably none to be had, it was probably safest to walk away - or be shown where to walk (whichever it is ... lol lol). I'm not sure she got insulted on the rate, it sounded as if she was trying to get out of providing reviews, or additional info, and probably thought she should save face as well. In any event, the conversation was going south and I think any meeting with her wouldn't have been very chemically correct, so it was best that it turned out the way it did.

 

All in all a good day for you I would think, you still have a pocket full of money, and all the choices to make right here on Cerb. There's a lot of amazing women, for all styles and fantasies, there are stunning reviews, the choices are all there right in front of you.

[MellyBelly 15058]

 

All in all a good day for you I would think, you still have a pocket full of money, and all the choices to make right here on Cerb. There's a lot of amazing women, for all styles and fantasies, there are stunning reviews, the choices are all there right in front of you.

 

I have to agree about CERB. There are many amazing ladies on here and I think this is why since joining this site I have almost always met with a lady that is a member here. Actually my best experiences in this hobby have been with ladies that are members here.

 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and guidance.....it is much appreciated and I agree wholeheartedly.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

She may be new and inexperienced or she has something to hide. Admittedly, it is an SP's pet peeve when she feels like she has to justify her rate over the phone to a stranger but an experienced, reputable SP will be glad to direct you to a site where there are reviews/recos if she is sure of herself and her business skills.

 

When I was advertising on that site once in a while, I would actually try and bring some of these guys over to Cerb or get them to join because all of my info and pictures are here. I had my doubts but many of them didn't seem to know what I was talking about ( I'm sure many knew about Cerb and already members but it seemed like others didn't want to take the time to register to look at album profiles and what not).

 

I took the extra step to give them some sort of reassurance that I wasn't a fly by night but those who booked in the end said it was the genuine conversation I had with them over the phone and that I took an extra few minutes without being pushy.

 

Go with your gut and you did the right thing by asking for additional info. It's your hard earned money and you have the right to spend it wisely. :)

[marc123 281]

All good points. However it was best that you both did not meet. As mentioned above their are many good ladies on this site (if not all). I think it just went off on the wrong foot.

[IsaMassage 54318]

All good points. However it was best that you both did not meet. As mentioned above their are many good ladies on this site (if not all). I think it just went off on the wrong foot.

 

 

Agree many ladies that are not yet to be found on a review or recomendation Board non the less.., If she is new.. or did not have one yet maybe she could have just said "Sorry i am new in town, in the business" what ever her situation may be... " no I dont have any yet.." is not just about having or not any recos.. some ladies dont even want any... but is about honesty... avoiding the question is not the answer! Is about being a trust worthy person... I know that if I have anyone that asks for any reviews... i ll give them gladly... One of the most important thing in this business is TRUST and u gain that by being honest! and it works both ways ladies to gent and gent to ladies...

[Hollywood Thomson 553]

Agree many ladies that are not yet to be found on a review or recomendation Board non the less.., If she is new.. or did not have one yet maybe she could have just said "Sorry i am new in town, in the business" what ever her situation may be... " no I dont have any yet.." is not just about having or not any recos.. some ladies dont even want any... but is about honesty... avoiding the question is not the answer! Is about being a trust worthy person... I know that if I have anyone that asks for any reviews... i ll give them gladly... One of the most important thing in this business is TRUST and u gain that by being honest! and it works both ways ladies to gent and gent to ladies...

 

This would have been the best process for everyone. Her avoidance of the question and reply speaks levels in terms of the type of service you would have gotten, if any at all. Sorry for your misfortunes and hope that you manage to find someone who deserves to share the time with you.

[roamingguy 300291]

You didn't try to negotiate her rate which is good. And it's a reasonable request to ask if she has any reviews. If she has none she could have just said she doesn't have any, instead of taking offence to the request

My opinion, you did nothing wrong. And now I wouldn't worry about it, see a lady from CERB.

 

RG

[fortunateone 156618]

I've turned someone down when they've mentioned reviews before. Mainly because a review reader might be a review writer and I didn't have any interest in meeting up with one of those. I have found that reviewers aren't big on repeating, and I don't really want to spend my time with someone unless there is a chance of repetition at some point.

 

I think that if she had a website and if she had reviews she would have included links to those or copies of those on her site. If not, then it might be she doesn't want them and doesn't need them and doesn't want to see anyone from review sites?

 

You have to keep in mind that review sites are not like cerb. And many many sps have been badly burned by the fake trash and bash reviewers, and they are likely to have a knee jerk negative reaction when someone even says the word 'review'. She might be DNR due to harrassment or other reasons as well.

 

What you could have done is just google searched her name and number and see what came up that way if there were no links on her site, rather than ask about it.

[MellyBelly 15058]

I've turned someone down when they've mentioned reviews before. Mainly because a review reader might be a review writer and I didn't have any interest in meeting up with one of those. I have found that reviewers aren't big on repeating, and I don't really want to spend my time with someone unless there is a chance of repetition at some point.

 

I think that if she had a website and if she had reviews she would have included links to those or copies of those on her site. If not, then it might be she doesn't want them and doesn't need them and doesn't want to see anyone from review sites?

 

You have to keep in mind that review sites are not like cerb. And many many sps have been badly burned by the fake trash and bash reviewers, and they are likely to have a knee jerk negative reaction when someone even says the word 'review'. She might be DNR due to harrassment or other reasons as well.

 

What you could have done is just google searched her name and number and see what came up that way if there were no links on her site, rather than ask about it.

 

As I said in original post, I am a cautious guy and one who does my research before meeting any SP. Due to not finding anything and the higher than normal rate (which by the way I would have gladly paid if info or website was given) I asked her. I agree with what others have said that I shouldn't have mentioned rate when I asked about info, but I am an honest guy and the rate was a part of the reason.

 

As for reviewers not repeating, I'm sorry to hear you have had bad luck with them not repeating. I for one will only do a review on an SP if I have repeated or plan on repeating often. That's just me I guess, but I don't see the point in a review if I wouldn't repeat or have repeated.

 

Anyways, I didn't book and in the end I think I made the right choice.

 

Again everyone, thanks for the opinions and guidance :icon_biggrin: