Is there jealousy?

[theliquor (Lost but not fo 50595]

Good morning friends.

Was thinking (yes, yes I know that is a rare occurrence and probably deserves it's own thread) about when hobbyists like myself see more than one mp and/or sp.

As many of you know, I LOVE OUR CERB LADIES (& GURLS) and if possible would love to experience each and everyone of you.

However reality being what it is, I can't; although I can give it the good ol' college try!!!!!

There are SP's I see more often, and feel a strong connection to, both physically and mentally, many of which I consider friends and confidants. This group is getting smaller and smaller in number as I relish the time together for what it brings in all manner of things, including teasing and laughter.

There are MP's I see more often than others, again because of the connection we have made, the fun we have together and the comfortable feeling we have together.

Both groups fulfill obvious needs.

However, as someone much more educated than I said, "variety is the spice of life".

I do not wish to annoy or upset either group or any of the Ladies I see, but sometimes worry that maybe I should just focus on one or two.

Comments please!

And again, thank you to all the Ladies of Cerb!

The Liquor

[roamingguy 300291]

There are a couple ladies I see because now I consider them first and foremost friends and I do cherish our time together. But I don't remain exclusive to them, and they aren't exclusive to me, nor is there any expectation of exclusiveness on anyone's part. This lifestyle is by nature poly amorous, not monogamous. The ladies, even those who are friends, are still professional companions, and they understand that you will see other women, just as you understand (or should understand) that they will have other clients and that this is their livelihood.

Jealousy really IMHO has no place in this lifestyle. If a lady expects exclusiveness on your part, is she going to reciprocate and be exclusive to you too? Likewise if you expect a lady to be exclusive to you, are you going to reciprocate and only see her

Long story short, if you want exclusiveness get a girlfriend, C/L or a wife. And this lifestyle is not about exclusive relationships, it is about a poly amorous lifestyle

A morning rambling

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Well lets hope there isn't jealousy. As an sp knowing our clients are going to see others is a fact of the business and to get so attached to someone that you would become jealous if they did would be silly and unproductive for either party. But some sps do fall for their clients and some clients do fall for their sps. Jealousy imo is a form of hate and if you were to care for anyone you'd want them to be happy, fulfill their needs and desires and advance in life, so if you were jealous of them none of these feelings would be met and you certainly couldn't truly care for them. I wouldn't worry as to how some of your chosen ladies react to being seen or not seen, just treat them right when you are with them. That's all we can expect from any client, to want a client all to ourselves isn't realistic or reasonable. There's an old saying if you set a bird free and it doesn't come back it wasn't yours if it does it was!

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

As Cristy said, there is no place for jealousy in this business and honestly, in life. Jealousy is a fear based emotion and one that stems from somewhere. If you find out where it starts, you can resolve it and not have it as part of you. Not easy but worth it.

 

Having said that, we are also human and I'm sure occasionally have this feeling. You're having a bad day, there is someone you'd really like to spend sometime with because you made that connection and they make you feel good. As an SP, you can't just call them and say "hey, what about it" and you know that they could be seeing others. So instead of jealousy I'd say more a feeling of disappointment. Just as when a gentlemen is in that position and his chosen SP is busy or booked. There is always that sliver of disappointment.

 

As roamingguy mentioned, exclusivity is a factor that should NEVER play into this industry and if it is, it needs to be seriously addressed by the one feeling it especially if one sided. Having said that, there are human connections and with those come emotions of some sort. It's which ones, how impactful they are and how we deal with them that becomes the true test.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Long story short, if you want exclusiveness get a girlfriend, C/L or a wife. And this lifestyle is not about exclusive relationships, it is about a poly amorous lifestyle

 

Exactly!!! :D

[RoddyThomas 2746]

This is an excellent post. I have often wondered about this topic. The CERB ladies all seem classy, fun and professional, (not to mention mouth wateringly sexy) which is why I don't browse anywhere else. Having said that, it is a business and to some extent the Sps are competitors. I would assume when one has a top notch client (respectful, clean, reliable, courteous) she would want to hold on to him. I look forward to reading the responses to this thread!

[Hector17 9215]

I think being jealous would just serve to drive the hobbiest away as the confidence and lack of insecurity is a quality that, I believe, is a major attraction, aside from the physical and facial feature.

From my experience, I haven't sensed that at all...even the opposite...friends have been suggested by Sps for me to encounter, duos are offerred and conversations are seamless in that area.

Just not an issue .

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Disappointment is bound so happen in an industry where there is a.client that perhaps takes their business to another supplier. I would imigane that this industry is no different. Jealousy, I'm not so sure about. If I have a lady that I frequent and we hve built a connection with I can understand that if she were to discover that I had chosen to visit with another lady instead of asking her when I know she's available then she might have some disappointment. Just as I would feel some disappointment if I knew that she had a choice between two different clients for the same time slot and she chose someone else. I think that's natural and to be expected. However, if either of us decided to make an issue of it then you have a problem and are perhaps moving into the jealously realm.

 

I always want my chosen ladies to be successful and happy, which means they need to see a number of great clients including me. Knowing that are happy makes me happy. I would hope they would feel the same way about me as a client.

 

As an aside I personally have such wonderful relationships (small r) with some ladies that I visit with that they actually recommend other ladies that I might like based on her knowledge of my perferences. I trust her completely and really respect that they're invested in the fact that all my encounters are great tven those that are not with then.

[CristyCurves 169032]

This is an excellent post. I have often wondered about this topic. The CERB ladies all seem classy, fun and professional, (not to mention mouth wateringly sexy) which is why I don't browse anywhere else. Having said that, it is a business and to some extent the Sps are competitors. I would assume when one has a top notch client (respectful, clean, reliable, courteous) she would want to hold on to him. I look forward to reading the responses to this thread!

 

Thanks for being a dedicated cerbie. In response to your competitors comment- Yes this is a business but different and unlike any other. So to come into it with the thought of others being competitors is a start and a cause for negative emotions such as jealousy, imo. Its been said and discussed before there is no need to think of anyone as competition as we are as different and as individual as our services, Selling these differences is the key to becoming successful and popular. There is room for all. I can understand how and why some may look at others as competitors but in the end that is and will be anyone's downfall. You should want to help each other to advance and succeed, in the end that's what makes this a community and this positive interaction will make us all better in the end. :)

[Brad 49548]

It's nice and reassuring to hear these kinds of responses.

 

In one sense, I'll admit that I'm jealous--though that might not be quite the right word--of some of the other hobbyists who are able to enjoy these wonderful encounters more often than me. Of course I'm so grateful to each lady I have been able to meet so far, and count myself lucky that I can participate at all. I also like to think that since I only rarely am able to indulge that it makes each encounter more special and memorable. And while I think there is some truth to that, if I'm being honest with myself I know that if I were in a position to do so I'd be seeing the ladies here on a much more regular basis!

 

Because these encounters are rare for me, I have not yet had a repeat session with the same person. Hypothetically, I'd like to think that a lady may be complimented by the fact that I had to take some time preparing for the opportunity to enjoy her company, but that's not exactly a topic I would bring up in person.

 

This may be silly, but I don't want someone to think that I'm not calling back because I was in any way unsatisfied or ungrateful. And while I always try to express my thanks in words, I'll be much happier when I can pay my compliments in the form of a repeat encounter. Until then, it's nice to know that people are generally understanding and not jealous.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Hobbying is about not worrying about things like jealousy. There's too much jealously in the real world; hobbying is an escape from that world. If jealousy starts creeping in from either side, then something strange is happening.

[roamingguy 300291]

I wouldn't think the ladies (I'm generalizing here) consider themselves in competition with one another. Each lady when she advertises, has a website etc is posting about herself and her uniqueness. I haven't read one advertisement from a lady saying how she is like another lady, or better than other ladies. I know when I contact a lady for an encounter it is because there is something special and unique about her that interests me and makes me want to meet her

Also, if ladies were really in competition, then they wouldn't provide references, or give out bad ones, that way they could keep a gentleman all to herself by limiting who he sees. But the ladies I see are happy to

provide a reference, not only to keep other ladies safe, but they want a gentleman they have seen to have a good and happy experience seeing other ladies in this lifestyle.

A rambling

RG

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

Well lets hope there isn't jealousy. As an sp knowing our clients are going to see others is a fact of the business and to get so attached to someone that you would become jealous if they did would be silly and unproductive for either party. But some sps do fall for their clients and some clients do fall for their sps. Jealousy imo is a form of hate and if you were to care for anyone you'd want them to be happy, fulfill their needs and desires and advance in life, so if you were jealous of them none of these feelings would be met and you certainly couldn't truly care for them. I wouldn't worry as to how some of your chosen ladies react to being seen or not seen, just treat them right when you are with them. That's all we can expect from any client, to want a client all to ourselves isn't realistic or reasonable. There's an old saying if you set a bird free and it doesn't come back it wasn't yours if it does it was!

You have said it all girl! :)

[Fresh start 17467]

Imo if one would start to become jealous that must mean there is an emotional attachment somehow. It may be time to re evaluate your situation. I know personal I like to see few providers which make more of a connection but if I feel that I am getting to attached I'll step back and see someone else for a while. why get emotionally attached if you know its not going to work, chances are someone just going to get hurt.

[Guest]

This is my thoughts on jealousy and this business. I want my clients to be excited and happy to see me. I feel like being possessive over clients does not benefit me in anyway. I encourage my clients to see other ladies, to experiment and to try new experiences. I have confidence that if my clients really enjoy their time with me, they will come back.

 

I look at competition as other ladies and I don't really like the word competition anyway. When I look at certain girls that work in this industry I think, wow, I know why the guys really like her. I hate hearing about ladies doing malicious things to each other in this business for a little bit of money. We are all human, we all have feelings and we all need support sometimes. I think being jealous is a waste of my time and if I was having a hard time in my business, I would focus on different ways to make it better. For me I try to focus on myself, what I'm doing and what works for me. I feel like it is a waste of time to be focused or jealous of anyone else or anyone else's business. I can't control anyone but myself anyways, so I don't even bother.

 

I also don't compare myself to others and I think part of jealousy is that. I have small breasts and someone next to me may have big double d's, I have learnt there is a guy for her and a guy for me. I have learnt to work with what I have. I like being me and I don't want to be anyone else. Sometimes ladies get compared to each other in this industry by some clients and I feel like this creates jealousy. The times that I have been compared to others I gently explain that she may have this or that, do this or that, or charge this or that and that makes her unique, however, I like being me, I like the service I provide and I don't feel the need to be like so and so.

[LadyTY2Uall 355]

In my personal life I am jealous, unless I am part of the experience.

As a Professional I am quite the opposite, I have often recommended other Ladies that I feel would give my client a great experience as well as offering duos. As it turns out 'my' clients will visit other Ladies but always come back to me telling me what a great time they had. I don't feel that I compare to anyone else to be honest. I am unique, I am not for some but there are others that do prefer me or my type. What makes us all unique is personality and the quality of service we give. As long as we all give the very best we can each and every time the guys will find us and usually come back again and again. :)

[PistolPete 61421]

@TheLiquor I think you and I are cut from the same cloth "We enjoy variety" and we repeat with those we have a good connection with.

 

It is a business, there is extreme intimacy, there is a strong bond, there is lust, there is love making, there is friendship and yes there is a transaction that also takes place.

 

We are the customer/client therefore to keep matters in a professional level, there is no room or time for jealousy. IMHO

 

And I don't believe it happens, and I have never come across it myself.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Simply put, SPs don't *own* their clients so if an SP is jealous because a client likes variety then they have their own issues that have nothing to do with this business.

 

However, I have seen some hobbyists attempt to pit one lady against another by revealing personal info about them as a way to get their kicks or in a bid to get better service. This is wrong and when I see that happening, that's when the trouble begins and I decide to not see them anymore.

 

Act professionally on both sides and you will be treated as such.

[Guest]

Simply put, SPs don't *own* their clients so if an SP is jealous because a client likes variety then they have their own issues that have nothing to do with this business.

 

However, I have seen some hobbyists attempt to pit one lady against another by revealing personal info about them as a way to get their kicks or in a bid to get better service. This is wrong and when I see that happening, that's when the trouble begins and I decide to not see them anymore.

 

Act professionally on both sides and you will be treated as such.

 

Here is another thread about Jealousy and exclusivity. I think I said something similar to this thread. I completely agree with you Nicolette, if I smell any kind of drama I usually opt out, not my cup of tea.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=107440&highlight=jelousy

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

This is one of the biggest myths about this business!