Divulging your name

[CristyCurves 169032]

I thought this should be discussed because of the many gentlemen lately, on here and elsewhere, that seem hesitant and reluctant on divulging their real name when booking an appointment. I'm hoping with this discussion it'll assure some, hopefully, that it is protocol for most to require and request it.

A professional companion will base the success of his/ her business on reputation, without a good one it would be hard to survive. Word of mouth travels. First and foremost is our ability to be trustworthy and discrete with any information given. Divulging anyone's personal info would and should be anyone's downfall(exception being someone dangerous or criminal). So know that when dealing with someone professional, (and by professional I mean a companion who has been reco'ed/reviewed, has a website, is established, posts or is known on a forum/s, someone you can find info on or get an online impression of)any personal information given would be held with the upmost care.

It is understandable that a gentleman may be nervous but the important first step on connecting with any companion is research. You can google names/numbers/read reco's, websites, posts and other media accounts to become assured of their reputation and business model. Then when you connect you should feel comfortable knowing that the chosen companion will want to know who they are meeting. Trust is key just as chemistry and connection are and without a name how can there be any?

[roamingguy 300291]

When I first began in this lifestyle back in 2010 I booked a date with a lady who had verification/screening procedures which included providing my real name

OMG!!! I thought, she'll know my real name. Seems all too funny to me now, but I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach after providing ALL verification information...what if she contacts my workplace, she could call the papers, etc etc etc

Well reality kicked in. This lady was very appreciative of me being open with her. And I have found EVERY lady who has screening procedures in place appreciates it when a gentleman provides all information requested

Most ladies I see have screening procedures in place including providing my name

There is nothing to fear from providing a lady information. In my experience ladies are far more trustworthy with my personal information than say businesses who have my information, such as cable companies, phone companies, the government etc etc etc

Ladies use this information for their safety

I understand the real concern for a man to be concerned about his privacy, but a lady equally has a real concern for her safety and a lady's safety trumps a man's privacy each and every time

Screening including providing your name goes a long way to establishing trust between a lady and gentleman. When you first meet a lady after being screened it makes the date all the more special and intimate...because you took time to establish trust. And intimacy comes from trust, trust comes from verification

Don't be afraid of providing your information to ladies guys, seeing professional companions isn't about anonymous encounters. It is about

a date with a lady, a real live three dimensional person. So if a lady you wish to see requests your personal information, provide it. It is becoming more and more the norm.

A quick morning rambling

 

RG

[lilguy 241]

I have no problems with the lady knowing my real name, but I think it should also go both ways.Not saying that the name should be upfront in her ads, but its kind of silly to call the lady by a name that we all know is not real.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I have no problems with the lady knowing my real name, but I think it should also go both ways.Not saying that the name should be upfront in her ads, but its kind of silly to call the lady by a name that we all know is not real.

 

Your response is part of the reason for my thread. We as companions are known, by aliases in most cases, yet we have viable information readily available to those looking. This information is enough to satisfy any intelligent person that the professional companions advertised are reliable, trustworthy, discrete and reputable. Yet those who contact us anonymously have shown nothing, if they haven't responded with a name, and this should cause us to want to meet?

You should understand we have proven ourselves through our business practices, etc, a client, male or female needs to prove their trustworthiness through providing details that are verifiable. That is simply how it works. Perhaps another can explain it better, or for some perhaps they'll just never understand.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Another point to this story is that as a client, you really lose nothing by providing your name to a reputable provider. However, if a reputable provider who has a website, advertises, puts her face out there etc. provides a real name they are then open to some VERY negative outcomes. Being judged, having their family and friends aware whether chosen or not, being open to restricted travel, having any business or school affiliations impacted, potentially having negative impacts on children whether in school, receiving some sort of assistance or just in general, having many personal things about you called into question and even potentially having your life or way of life put into jeopardy.

 

As was mentioned, we build our reputations slowly and the right way to be known for discretion, trustworthiness and as a professional. We put in effort each and every day. We give based on what we are comfortable with and the risks we are willing to take. Clients have a world of information on us even if NOT our name. Asking for a real name from a client is part of a screening tool for our safety. I don't know many ladies who, right out of the gate, would feel secure providing their name to anyone with all the risks associated.

 

The risk factor is minimal on the client side but maximum on the ladies. If a client is not willing to take a minimal risk but demands a maximum one, perhaps they should rethink their participation and also how they view risk.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I've never been asked for my "real" name, perhaps it's because I've been around awhile and have a presence on boards and twitter. That being said I wouldn't provide it if requested to do so.

 

It certainly is a woman's prerogative to request such information as it is mine not to provide it. If it became an issue, no harm no foul.....I'd just move along.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest D***el B***e]

Although I trust a lady when providing my name and contact info, and have done it a number of times, and I trust when she says it's in good hands and she's going to safely keep it away from prying eyes. The problem arises if she gets her computer hacked, if she loses her phone, if she mistakenly leaves a backup usb key in a restaurant and the information falls into the wrong hands. That's the problem. To me this is the most serious issue in providing my name to a lady. It's not so much with the lady herself, it's all the "what ifs" around it.

[Genevieve Marceau 68000]

I have no problems with the lady knowing my real name, but I think it should also go both ways.Not saying that the name should be upfront in her ads, but its kind of silly to call the lady by a name that we all know is not real.

 

LOL if you want a real name, get a girlfriend.

 

Ladies choose to protect their name because we want to avoid stalkers, harassment and good-clients-gone-bad. I am sorry (not) that it ruins your fantasy. FANTASY being the keyword here.

 

Some of us require the client's real name to avoid this exact same individuals mentioned above.

[johnybird 4391]

I have never had an issue providing my real name, In my situation I really have nothing to hide. I can understand someone who is married being reluctant though.

 

Seeing the number of strangers an Escort meets I wouldn't expect these beautiful creatures to give out their real names. It doesn't bother me in the least, there have been a couple of instances where the person I have been with has told me their real first name after just the first time I met with them, which is flattering in a way because it shows trust. Obviously I would never reveal their names to anybody, trust and discretion is a huge thing with me.

 

Funny thing is even though I know their real names, I still refer to them as their Escort names because I'm so used to it.

 

:)

[roamingguy 300291]

One has to remember the dynamics of arranging a date with a lady.

The lady has her screening/contact information on her website

It is the man who initiates contact with the lady, not the lady initiating contact with a man.

Would anyone provide personal information to a stranger who just contacted them.

And if the man doesn't like the lady's screening requirements (which he should know before contacting her), he is free to contact another lady who doesn't require his name, and not contact a lady who does require his name.

And just a feeling, but I get the impression that guys who want a lady's personal information, like her name just want it as a form of tit for tat...she has my name, I want hers. But more ominously are some "clients" who want a lady's name for nefarious purposes. There could be other Robert Picktons out there. Or obsessive men, ones who get possessive and might stalk and would enjoy having a lady's personal information

A rambling

 

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

I've never been asked for my "real" name, perhaps it's because I've been around awhile and have a presence on boards and twitter. That being said I wouldn't provide it if requested to do so.

 

 

Peace

MG

 

You mean you aren't really Mr. Green !!??!! From the Clue board ?

 

MrGreen in the beddddrooom with the penis-stick ? ;)

[bcguy42 38594]

I have no problems with the lady knowing my real name, but I think it should also go both ways.Not saying that the name should be upfront in her ads, but its kind of silly to call the lady by a name that we all know is not real.

 

Umm... Actually there are a lot of things about this whole deal that are kind of silly. But like with a lot of other things in life, if you want to play the game, you go with silly.

 

I have no problem giving my name. I know why she needs it. I'm pretty sure my name is more secure with her than with Target, Home Depot or other corporations who have famously suffered security breaches.

 

There have been instances where, without looking for it, I've come to know someone's civilian name. We've discussed it and, in the interest of simplicity, I continue to use her advertised name.

 

Oddly, in a way, I see it as a respect thing. I know my doctor's name but I would never, even after 30 years, call him "Claude". For this woman, in this scenario in which we find ourselves, she is Magic Snowflake. Maybe if we were at the same high school reunion I would go with Mary. Otherwise, hi ya Magic Snowflake!

[misterdiscretion2014 2032]

This is a generalization, but often the more information an SP is seeking to verify your identity, the more established and professional she is. If you want to see a higher end provider, a lot of times, you are going to deal with more red tape, because these people often have a business plan that accounts not just for their budget, but also for their safety.

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

The only time I ask for a gentleman's real name is when I am meeting him at his suite.

 

Part of my screening process is two-step verification when I'm going to an outcall.

I will ask the name the room is registered under, so that I may call the hotel to verify that he is indeed actually registered there in that room.

Too many times, we receive calls to go meet someone at a hotel only to find out that said person is not there, never has been and perhaps (worse) someone else is actually in that room!

 

We all have a screening process in place that works for us individually. We do so for our safety.

I have a difficult enough time even getting gentlemen from Lyla to give me their handle when they contact me by text.

I have no idea of who you are when you inquire, it's nice to know who I am chatting with.

I want to know a little about you so that our time together will be more pleasurable.

 

I don't believe that any reputable lady is going to use any of this information for ill will.

Once I have verified that person, I erase the information as it is no longer needed.

 

When we have you as a guest for incall, we are revealing to you our address. You already have our phone number/email/website etc, you know what we look like, why is it so difficult to know a little about someone we are inviting to our private sanctuary?

 

I have noticed that a lot of gentlemen here on Lyla don't even have the region they are located in on their profile, making it difficult to know if I am even in the correct region for them.

They don't have to list the actual city, but knowing if they are in the same area as me would be nice.

I've had quite a few gentlemen inquire to me, only to find out that I am either in another province or across the country from where they are.

Makes for a waste of time when I am trying to setup something from them when they don't even take the time to see where I am located.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I really don't get what all the fuss is about. You give your name out to dozens of companies (for example, I just signed up for a gym membership and they wanted to see my driver's license) but you balk when one of us asks for it?

 

Let's be straight here, this isn't about your privacy, it's about a stereotype that s ex workers are dishonest and untrustworthy.

 

And if I'm being honest (and I always am, to a fault), if you think that lowly of me, you can go yank yourself off.

[misterdiscretion2014 2032]

While I think it's true that the negative stereotypes of sex workers is a factor in some of the gents making a bigger deal out of providing their name than it is, don't underestimate the level of paranoia some of the attached gentlemen feel about getting caught by their significant other. Your wife is not going to care if you join a gym, but she will probably not be as enthused to find out about some of the activities that are discussed here.

 

I do want to stress that the stigma attached to ladies in this business is very real, and by no means am I trying to minimize or trivialize that reality, only stating that some guys don't get that far on the Irrational Fear Train of Paranoia.

[johnybird 4391]

There definitely is a paranoia about getting caught by their wives or girlfriends, but weather they give their name or not that paranoia will still be there.

 

I think there is more of a chance that they will get caught by lying where they were, the scent off their clothes or overall them not being careful, rather than a reputable Lady outing them.

 

And there is absolutely no reason or benefit (for us men) for a Lady to give out her real name. Yes it's really nice when we are told and makes us feel a little special, but no guy should be pushing or even asking for it.

 

:)

[Ice4fun 78396]

LOL if you want a real name, get a girlfriend.

 

Ladies choose to protect their name because we want to avoid stalkers, harassment and good-clients-gone-bad. I am sorry (not) that it ruins your fantasy. FANTASY being the keyword here.

 

Some of us require the client's real name to avoid this exact same individuals mentioned above.

 

I am not sure real names provide all that much additional security for a lady... but I certainly get 100% why she asks for the real name because if a guy is not willing to actually give his real name or will not trust the lady with his real name then perhaps the situation is not right for them to actually meet.

 

Having a real name does not stop a good client from going bad or for that matter knowing the real name of the lady does not stop her from acting inappropriate.

 

The bottom line is this is a business that requires the lady to demonstrate amazing trust to just open that door so in return if the guy wants the door opened he must also demonstrate some trust.

 

Just my Opinion

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

[VedaSloan 119179]

I am not sure real names provide all that much additional security for a lady... but I certainly get 100% why she asks for the real name because if a guy is not willing to actually give his real name or will not trust the lady with his real name then perhaps the situation is not right for them to actually meet.

 

Having a real name does not stop a good client from going bad or for that matter knowing the real name of the lady does not stop her from acting inappropriate.

 

The bottom line is this is a business that requires the lady to demonstrate amazing trust to just open that door so in return if the guy wants the door opened he must also demonstrate some trust.

 

Just my Opinion

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

 

No but having your real name does give us some recourse if we need to report you to the police should you assault or rape us, for example.

[johnybird 4391]

Quick question for the ladies. How do you know he's giving you his actual real name?

No one has ever asked me for I.D. or proof in the past?

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I understand why companions want to know something about clients before meeting them for the first time. I understand why companions don't want to reveal their names, and why their reputation in this enterprise can be gleaned from other sources.

 

But isn't the same true of clients who are here on CERB? That is to say, of the clients who are being told this?

 

Googling a client's real name and discovering, I don't know, that he is a Toronto Maple Leafs fan or that he recently visited Denmark, is far less useful, I would have thought, than examining his posts here to decide whether he seems respectful and respectable in this forum, or like a jerk.

 

If the goal is to know a client's relevant reputation or reliability, knowing his real name doesn't seem to achieve that. Why not request (as some companions do) a reference from another companion here on CERB? If the goal is to be able to track the client down in the case of rape or assault (a fear I do not minimize), a warrant to obtain the IP address for a post here on CERB or for the subscriber information of the cell phone used would be far more effective, and is in the ability of the police (who I am presuming would be called, otherwise what's the purpose in knowing the name?)

 

If it's a trust exercise, well, that is always a companion's prerogative, as it is equally a client's prerogative to decline. Neither party in that case, I would think, is *wrong* - they just disagree.

[roamingguy 300291]

Quick question for the ladies. How do you know he's giving you his actual real name?

No one has ever asked me for I.D. or proof in the past?

 

My guess the details of how a lady screens are and rightfully so, going to be kept confidential. In my experience it isn't just your real name required. Ladies also want a reference from a reputable independent companion, email address, contact phone number. Some also like your board handle (confirmed by PM) and a work phone number. Information for screening/verification is more than just your name. Just my opinion, but ladies are seeing a man alone intimately. Something that takes a great deal of trust on their part. Ladies, in spite of men's fear for their privacy, run higher real risks than guys do. Anything clients/potential clients can do to minimize the risks, well I for one am willing to do

A rambling

 

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

I understand why companions want to know something about clients before meeting them for the first time. I understand why companions don't want to reveal their names, and why their reputation in this enterprise can be gleaned from other sources.

 

But isn't the same true of clients who are here on CERB? That is to say, of the clients who are being told this?

 

Googling a client's real name and discovering, I don't know, that he is a Toronto Maple Leafs fan or that he recently visited Denmark, is far less useful, I would have thought, than examining his posts here to decide whether he seems respectful and respectable in this forum, or like a jerk.

 

If the goal is to know a client's relevant reputation or reliability, knowing his real name doesn't seem to achieve that. Why not request (as some companions do) a reference from another companion here on CERB? If the goal is to be able to track the client down in the case of rape or assault (a fear I do not minimize), a warrant to obtain the IP address for a post here on CERB or for the subscriber information of the cell phone used would be far more effective, and is in the ability of the police (who I am presuming would be called, otherwise what's the purpose in knowing the name?)

 

If it's a trust exercise, well, that is always a companion's prerogative, as it is equally a client's prerogative to decline. Neither party in that case, I would think, is *wrong* - they just disagree.

 

Certainly reading posts here from a regular user can be helpful but that isn't an assurance to that person being reliable, honest, etc. Lyla gents play games, last minute cancel, gossip, they are human after all. Being here doesn't make anyone golden. In saying that there are also many here who can be trusted and relied on and cause us to feel very secure with meeting. However without a name and something happens, a person can change a phone number, ip address, board handle, seldom will anyone change their given name.

if you are going to visit someone and you want to know their locale yet you aren't willing to give them your name-how is that a fair exchange or even sensible. It is as Berlin said, hard to understand what all the fuss is about. You as a client want to know all our physical attributes, personality traits, education, talents, hobbies, etc and we simply want your name and number and that is questioned.... not fair.

[Maverickofregina 110]

It makes me a little nervous providing real name etc, but at the same time I fully understand it's importance. Furthermore, I think it shows that a sp is taking precautions and using due diligence which to me makes things safer for everybody.

[Philander39 3705]

I have no problems with the lady knowing my real name, but I think it should also go both ways.Not saying that the name should be upfront in her ads, but its kind of silly to call the lady by a name that we all know is not real.

 

I know it may sound silly but as some previous posters have noted that for the lady in this situation there is more to have go wrong then with the guy. Not everyone keeps to the expected boundaries in this industry and for that reason I can easily see why ladies want to keep their names private.

 

There are situations where over time if you are a regular client and the trust level is there, you will actually be given the honour of actually knowing a real name. I have been in situations where one SP gave me her real first name (but not here last name) and in another case the SP gave me her full real name. In both cases, I had seen the lady multiple times and had build up a rapport with them.

 

The funny thing, was even though the gave me their real names, I still called them by their "escort" names. I didn't think of every using their real names. I only noticed when one of them pointed that fact out to me after I had sent her an email message to check on her availability. I still keep using her industry name, it just felt right.