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Good thread, hope you don't mind if I post. Being a very emotional person it struck a cord with me. When a favourite SP retires, I feel everything! Deserted, abandoned, lonely, rejected. As true and okay as these feelings are, they're all selfish feelings though. If I really care I should be happy for the girl! The only problem is when I've been led on, led to believe they care back...and then they go and retire without even a goodbye. That hurts. You suddenly realize you were lied to. But as Cat said back in October, maybe they didn't lie to you instead they just needed to cut all ties so they can walk away and find a different life. I've had the same experience in my life. Many years ago I walked away from my life and had to leave all my friends behind with it. I did say goodbye though. That gave them and me some closure I guess. I felt guilty hurting a few of them, but I had to do it for myself, to get away and cut all the ties that bound me to that lifestyle and allow myself to walk into a new life without anything holding me back. So I understand a retiring SP, I really do. If she's serious about changing, she's got to have a clean break, cold turkey, and launch into her new life 100% committed to it. No ghosts haunting her. No reminders. Of course she can't forget the past, but she needs to distance herself from it or she won't be able to leave it behind. And as others have said, you meet people throughout life and you leave people throughout life. A little piece of them is always with me, and hopefully a little piece of me is always with them as well. I've seen a lot of death in my life and it's the same. The people live on through my memories. Same with a retired SP...all I have to do is close my eyes and remember, and I've got them back again. Nobody can ever take that away.

Reading this thread brings many thoughts to mind and heart. Because of the negative perceptions of this business, many SPs leave with no option but to simply cut ties. It is a struggle for an SP to leave for many reasons. Never assume the decision was flippant in any way. There is an emotional commitment to her clients and walking away isn't done on a whim. Most feel that terminating all contact is the only way to go. The shame and social rejection that comes from publicly admitting our profession is overwhelming to all those that do not have the inner fortitude to withstand and come thru it. Other professions allow a forwarding address and relationships developed are allowed to continue and are considered valuable, but in this there are so many challenges it is almost impossible to maintain relationships if a woman has been an SP in secret. The one reason that is consistent with all of those that leave for romantic motivations (which in my experience is the #1 reason for retirement) is the insecurity that comes from their SO. The fallout is usually nuclear in proportion if it is found out that there is a continued relationship with a guest after she has "squared up". Even the most stable of men will have issues with her work, and it will undermine everything in the union, and SPs realize this. It takes an extraordinary man to accept that her work isn't a threat, and underneath the facade SPs want most to be loved and accepted. So they are faced with a choice...the man who wants to love them forever or the man that wants to love them for an hour a couple of times a month. It's a huge gamble in my opinion. If a man cannot accept me in my entirety including my work, then he is not the man for me. From my perspective, a complete cessation of contact with my guests would be akin to cutting off a limb. First and foremost they are my friends. I tried to refer many of them this summer to other SPs and it was an complete and utter failure. The reason I continue to travel back to Ottawa is because I have guests here that count on me and leaving them hanging simply isn't an option. Does that mean we are to close? What is too close? Is loving someone wrong if it isn't in the "traditional" sense? I think the posts above show that guests truly are more than a venue to generate money and I want hobbyists to know that most professional SPs invest themselves emotionally in very deep ways. Always remember this profession doesn't usually attract the woman that is strong and whole. We become SPs because we are trying to fix the financial crunch and do not understand the emotional side of things until we are in it. Some find wholeness, it gives us so much. Others are destroyed by it. I find my work rewards me back in direct proportion to what I invest in it. Each and every one of us are bent in our own unique way. The common perception is that we are money hungry and greedy, but for the good ones it isn't true. We have an unusual ability to love and let go when the time is right. In the grand scheme of the Universe, all relationships are simultaneously precious and insignificant. We must live in the moment, cherish what is now and accept that nothing in this world is stable. Not the concrete buildings we reside in, the earth below our feet or the experiences shared. Every relationship I have is treasured for what it is right now. Tomorrow, if circumstances have changed, I will remember fondly as every experience builds who we are as people and that is what we are here for... Catherine

I love this thread and have enjoyed every single word written here. Kudos to SA for having the courage to start this thread and the rest of the men for opening their hearts. I, too, have difficulty keeping my emotions at bay for certain clients. My work tends to be more courtesan now and I have developed relationships with gentlemen I see on a regular basis. I know I'm not going to stay in this industry forever, but the thought of losing the friendship of some of my clients after retirement truly makes my heart ache. As strange as it sounds, I know that when my retirement does eventually come, I will reminisce on certain clients with the same feelings and thoughts I have for old flames/boyfriends. I truly adore certain clients and sometimes my heart skips a beat and I get butterflies before seeing them.

SA, I'm sure you're aware of many of the posts here about relationships with SPs and clients and that sort. So your feelings should not seem so odd to you. Everyone knows that I have some strong bonds with a few girls I've seen for a long time. It happens and doesn't seem odd at all to me. After you spend a lot of time with a person it has to happen, if it doesn't you wouldn't spend all that time with them. One of my ATF has retired and un-retired several times. I've been sad, hurt, mad, depressed and happy, hopeful and elated ... sometimes all in a matter of seconds. I've been involved in her life and know more about her personal life than any client should. When her bf does her wrong I want to go tear him apart. When she takes him back I want to tell her goodbye forever for being so stupid. Not because we're madly in love .... because we have become VERY good close friends. I care about my friends and she is one of my closest, yet also the one that causes me the most heartache. Knowing her as I do I understand why she does the things that tick me off. But she is my friend and I stick with her. When one of my ATF got busted I shed some tears. I don't think it's wierd, I care about her as a person. She wasn't someone I was seeing to just get my rocks off, she was a person I got to know and wondered how this would affect her family and all sorts of things. I was worried about her and still am. Doesn't seem unusual to me. I dread the day C retires, unless she stays local and we stay in touch. No one else takes me out for dinner and tries to stuff me until I burst and then asks me why I'm getting fat. Who will I offer my sage advice on baseball gambling to? Luckily she ignores me and wins ..... No more helping to make her understand some legalities she's trying to figure out or teach her more english or learn chinese from her. But these things will all happen, they always do. People constantly come and go in our lives and it's always best to take and cherish what good things we've shared with them. I don't regret geting close to any of the women in the hobby that I have, they've enriched my life in one way or another. And I sincerely hope they feel similar about me. We meet people in all sorts of ways and it all helps make us who we are. SPs are just as good of friends as anyone else, perhaps better in some ways. There's no reason to wonder why you've gotten attached any more than to any other dear friends you've met over time. You're better for it.

Hey guys/friends: This is an old thread started by myself when sweet Heidi and then Sofia decided to retire last year, however, this never happened to me again until today when I read that two of my most favorite girls whom I was blessed with recently are leaving (Suri) and likely I will never get the chance to see them again:cry:. I say how I feel as a late response to this old thread : 1 - I feel sad that I won't be able to see them again 2 - I will be thinking about them and will be reminded of brief great pleasant moments that I had with them that won't be repeated again. 3 - I feel blessed that I was able to see them even once. 4 - I feel that their health and well being is most important and must come first and foremost. So I have complete understanding. 5 - I do in a way feel very happy for them that they may have found better lives or opportunities (boyfriend, alternative employment, etc.) Bless them all for making our lives so pleasant, even though it is for a short while (otherwise mine would have been mostly work and related stress).

Hey Guys vote for me this month for the miss gorgeous boobs competition..... Although they chose a pic that does not show my nip's ( i sent 2 pics), I'm just pleased to be in with such beauties as Brandie and Vivian Saint! So vote for me or Brandie......... http://www.bigtithut.com/competition.htm Thanx guys and gals...... Rachelle♥

This is a very special thread. To see it come up again and having read through it one more time brought back many memories and very strong emotions. So strong that I am trying to re-compose myself so that I can get back to work and function to some acceptable level. In reading some of the posts there was one that said why post your feelings here, why not tell her how you feel. Well, in some ways, in some small ways, on a few occassions I did. Maybe not so directly in words but in some kind of words and in many actions. I actually think and believe that it is a difficult subject to talk about openly given the lives and situation of both parties. After knowing each other for so long I now think we both know the feelings between us but we both are very careful about plunging to deep onto this subject because of its implications on both our emotions and lives. We do test the waters, we dabble in it, we laugh and enjoy it, and I know there are very brief moments when we are together and talking or singing or just briefly looking at each other that we both know there is something very unique and special here that continues to evolve and will continue to do so somehow. It takes 2 very strong minded people to walk that fine line for so long knowing they can cross it briefly for that sense of emotional happiness, security and even sadness but also know that they can really never ever ever saty on the other side for very long - that would change everything - everything that makes this special, unique and irreplaceable. In this crazy world we live in, it is rather rare but when it happens special and unique to feel your emotions and soul awakend in which mine were and still are - The only saving grace is the head on my shoulder to help me deal with this situation now and forever as best as I can.

I like Wonder Woman -- and carrie-oke

I for one have made great friends in this wonderful community and will continue to be friends with them after I leave the business (which hopefully won't be anytime soon). I also have a friend who had to leave the business for other reasons and her and I are still great friends. I hope all the lovely ladies leaving the business stay in touch, we REALLY enjoy there company as friends and members of our wonderful community here! I wish them all well in thier NEW endevours in life! Cheers, Cherry:lol:

Here's one for Capitalman :smile: