NotchJohnson

I too have been MIA for the past 2 weeks, I did drop by a few times but did not make much comments on new threads. My computer is not working well and work is taking all of my time and I need to use someone else computer when he is not around.

> I stopped at Mc Donald's and ordered some fries. > > The girl behind the counter said "would you like some fries with that?" > > One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted.... > 'Look at that dead bird!' > > Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where? ' > > They walk among us! > While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. > > She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' > > My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime. > > She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....... ' > > They Walk Among Us! > My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the > sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. > > She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. > > They Walk Among Us! > My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. > > She keeps it in the car trunk. > > They Walk Among Us! > I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!" > I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.... > > They Walk Among Us ! > I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. > > The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. > > 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... > (I work with professionals like this.) > > They Walk Among Us! > While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and > the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; > I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. > > They Walk Among Us! > And last, but not least:> Dumb as a box of Rocks > > > > > > A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY: > > > A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. > > 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?' > > 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.' > > 'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi. > > Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'' > > Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history..'

53. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? 54. Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness. 55. My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat." 56. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". 57. My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster. 58. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? 59. I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would you like me to show you how to discipline your child?" 60. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium afterwords? 61. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

I heard of people using horse shampoo like mane and tail it does wonder on coarse hair and its really effective on scalp.

I do get a dry scalp once in a while and the only thing that I found was a shampoo called NIZORAL, it contains tar and it solves my problem. Might not be recommended for everyone and there are some side effect like headaches and itchy scalp and such but not on everyone.

I have wet dreams all the times, fortunately enough I seem to wake up just before I explode and I release on my stomach so clean up is not so bad. I have had a weird to explain wet dream once, I was sleeping with my gf who is my wife now at the beginning of our relationship and we fell asleep spooning naked. We woke up with jizm all over her back, this was a tough one to explain.

I only see the weather forecast on CJOH and JJ is not my cup of tea but does give good weather forecast.

I can't really tell you what it is about breast that tickles my fancy but all I know is that they make me happy. No matter the size or shape, I just love to see breast and touch them also. They make me happy.

I have seen some that speaks French, English and Spanish but not Greek, Sorry.

and

This a thread I don't want to miss. Please ladies tell us who you are comfortable with for duos.

Strawberry is my favorite summer fruit.

My take on nails is that if we have just a quick meeting it does not matter about your nails but if we are to meet for over one hour it is appreciated but not necessary to have nail polish or fake nails on. A big turn on for me is a lady well dressed with hair and make up done and either a secretary look or a evening gown with open back or see thru top.

Days have passed into years,you have become better with time. May you continue to become better with each birthday you enjoy. Happy birthday lil.ms.summers.

New arena needs help to be flush for opening PITTSBURGH ? The Pittsburgh Penguins are looking for 250 students to help with an important task and there's only one major requirement: You must know how to flush a toilet. Construction is near completion on the NHL team's new arena, the Consol Energy Center. As with any new arena or stadium, officials need to simultaneously flush all the toilets and urinals to make sure everything is working. The Penguins are calling the June 10 event the ?Student Flush,? a spinoff of their popular ticketing program known as ?Student Rush.? Students already involved in the ticketing program can enter for a chance to win. Students must be 18 or older to participate in the flushapalooza. In all, there will be 400 flushers, including some construction officials, on hand that day.

Ok I do not work shifts but do work long hours (over half days, that's 12 hours right?) and also work on Saturday mornings and take care of a big property over 12 acres of grass and a driveway that is .6 km long along a riverside. You guessed it I'm burnt after working 70 to 80 hours a week and taking care of all my belongings. But its a life that I chose while I'm still young and healthy. This might change in time, who knows.

Invented in France, and I believe a great invention. Can be used by both genders. Users who are unfamiliar with bidets often confuse a bidet with a urinal, toilet, or even a drinking fountain. It is generally understood that the user should sit on a bidet facing the tap and nozzle for washing the genitalia, and should sit with back to the tap and wall when washing the anus and buttocks. A much better device then a urinal, everyone should have a bidet at home as opposed to a urinal. Much safer to use then toilet paper.

I think urinals are overrated.

A mature lady (50) lady gets pulled over for speeding..... Older woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older woman: Lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see.....Can I see your vehicle registration papers please? Older woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car ma'am? Older woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too. DON'T MESS WITH MATURE LADIES. Happy Birthday Angela

My MP said that it was a good thing to have the new HST, he mentioned that on average we would only pay $150.00 a year more on gas. And any family getting less then $160 000 a year would be getting $1000.00 back on their income tax. So I told him that I had to see this to believe it.

I can't eat Lasagna, I was sick on it has a kid, the cheese was bad and now just the look of it is making me gag. Pickles on hamburger, was sick too on this when I was a kid we ate at McDonald and then went to LaRonde in Montreal was sick and all I could taste was the pickles.

Lost: ear piece can't hear my wife complain anymore Lost: sock came home with only one. Found: hair piece (wig) please contact me by pm with description to claim Found: White boxer shorts with skid marks inside. Lost: Strap on 12" lost between 5pm and 10 pm on Friday, please call ASAP needed for next appointment.