Kilt Boy

Sourpuss ?

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

Popped in yesterday for a quick beer at lunch. Only a few ladies working (and they were busy), so I headed out. Sarah has gone totally blonde, which looks amazing against her dark chocolate skin. New red bustier with a side zipper (thank god), red shoes, new music ... almost a whole new girl!

Brittney White from Hookup Hotshots. http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57d4b2113b7c4

It's unfortunate that we're so far apart, and that I don't fun anymore. I think we could have had an interesting time. I don't hear that request often, but it usually signals a great and memorable event. Go get her, boys. [emoji3]

Yeah, you can just drop those anywhere.

I know some guys like to spend time kissing the girls and will only go to the back if she will accommodate them that way. I just prefer to keep it less intimate than that. I think that might be part of it. I'm not at a peeler bar for an 'intimate' engagement. I mean, sure. It can get pretty damned intimate back there, but let's try to keep some semblance of mystery for the wedding night.

In the way of what? [emoji13] I wear a modern style that doesn't need one. However, my giant belt buckle has been a problem more than once.

Well, so far all of those have happened at Barbarella's. I know you were joking, but them's the facts. This is not intended to be an advertisement for Barbarella's. I have kilts for rent for anyone interested.

UNACCEPTABLE - standing in the chair and grinding into my beard while holding my head with both hands, full-contact. - chewing my face, ears, neck, possibly leaving marks. - deep kissing. - inserting her fingers in my mouth. - lifting/opening my shirt to nibble, lick, suck my nipples. - guiding my hands to naughty places to initiate insertion. - reaching under the kilt to massage me manually with hand(s). - pushing the kilt up to my waist to massage me with boobs. - tenting the kilt (or her kerchief) over my erection and using that as a platform to stimulate her, possibly using hand(s) to rub me back and forth on her. - using a kerchief over my exposed penis to perform short bursts of mouth sex. - as above, but without the kerchief. - attempting full-contact dry humping. - attempting actual penetration.

ACCEPTABLE - light grazing contact of the penis through material with fingers, nails, breasts or teeth. - as above, but more firm. - vigorous rubbing of the penis through the material with a hand, knee. - lifting the kilt "just to see". - light kisses on face, ears, neck. - chewing/sucking her nipples and breasts if permitted. - rubbing my nipples through my shirt. - grinding on my lap, from light to extremely athletic, facing me or away. - guiding my hands to naughty places for light rubbing. - putting on a show from the stool, standing in front of me, or sitting on my lap with manual insertion and possible squirt.

I don't push the strip club boundaries, even with permission. Sometimes the dancers aren't as reserved as I and try to goad me into going further with their own actions. Maybe they think I'll find their activity worthy of a tip. Following is a list of things I've experienced in the champagne room, categorized by what I believe is and is not acceptable. NOTE: the full-contact dance rules didn't come into effect until after I started wearing a kilt full time. Some of these observations may be specific to me because of that. Please add your own Nancy-boy pants-wearing experiences. No names, please. I don't want anyone to get fired because of this. The unacceptable events don't happen all the time, but certainly more frequently. Also, I could have put a stop to some of that behaviour earlier than I did. I'm a bad boy.

Wow! They go all the way to the ground!

If you really want to make friends, bring tiny bags of chips or chocolate bars with you. The vending machine in the CR is fussy about the coins it accepts, and it is mostly empty all the time. A couple of girls complained about it. Hey, if you're just giving them away as gifts, how can management complain? Bringing in 'outside food'? LAWL! If only I'd thought of that when Halloween candy was still on sale ...

Favourite drink: tequila. Will drink Honey Jack. Will complain about it.

Favourite drink: tequila. Also, enjoys beer.

FYI, Jenny is back from her vacation, Chrissy will be back in town tonight until Saturday (she texted me from the car). Just a note about dress. I wore a tie last night. I don't normally, but wanted to try something different. The tie plays. The tie really plays. I may keep a dress shirt and tie at work in case I feel a lonely lunch coming on.

I've watched Maria dance for a quite a while. He is small and lithe and always seemed aloof on stage. She is of Lebanese heritage, so has those giant eyes and gives out those smoky glances from that raised platform. So serious. One day last month, she approached me and we started talking. She is the complete opposite of that. We had a few drinks and I got to see that smile and hear her loud, sharp laugh. She was so into chatting that we kind of forgot about the time. She seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. There was no rush on her part, and I eventually suggested spending time in the back. Her eyes danced and she smiled quite literally from ear to ear. She was into that as well. We talked until the next song started, and then she turned into that different person again. Incredibly sexy, grasping, grinding, stretching all over me, flexible, moaning in my ear. It works. Totally hot, sensuous, into it, dark eyes boring into your soul, soft hands exploring. So, to recap, a sensual cat when performing on stage or in the back. A real sweetie when chatting. I can't think of a reason NOT to spend time with this beautiful lady. She seems so sincerely thankful when you pay her, like she didn't earn every groat.

I was just amazed by Nikki the first time I met her. We spent 30 minutes talking and then I had to leave. She is really easy to talk to, like an old drinking buddy. She isn't 'proper' or even 'ladylike'. She's someone I would probably go out hunting with. I came back the next night and she recognized me immediately, coming over and giving me a big hug. She gave me half of her mini KitKat. Who does that? After talking some more and getting to know each other, I have to say that I really respect her. No, I'm serious. This person is worthy of my respect. I know how a job like that can grind you down. She's upbeat and positive and loves everybody in the club. When she gets up to run to the door to slap some other girl on the ass or to give some other guy a great big hug, I get that this is just who she really is. I love it. She comes back. Not to mention her killer body. She has that sly smile that hints at more and her eyes disappear when she laughs, which is often. She'll take a drink or two with no problem, and seems to be in a close, personal relationship with every single shooter girl there. Still, she doesn't overdo it. That can really kill the mood. She drinks to have fun. So do I. Her dance routine is fluid and full of energetic pole work. Her CR routine is not going to be discussed here. You won't be disappointed, but I'm going to let you find out for yourself.

I love strip clubs. I find them a lot of fun. I enjoy spending time with a pretty girl, getting to know her in a completely fake environment that favours me, the stage show, the back room, all of it. Okay, maybe not the overpriced drinks. One thing that I really find fun is the stage dance participation. How about a discussion on how to handle this? Tips. Tricks. Warnings. I usually try to arrange this beforehand so the lady has some idea and isn't surprised. One of my regulars had never done it before, so we chatted about different things she could try and how to practice at home. There aren't a lot of Youtube videos about how to grind on a stage. I made sure to do it when there was nobody else in the club one Monday at noon. She did a pretty good job and accepted criticism well. Hey, it's her job. Right? Without feedback, how can you improve? Doing your job better means getting paid better, hopefully. I like to see the dancers as people who are doing a job and interact with them a bit. I'm not at a vending machine. Tipping amount. I used to see $5 tips, but now I spend at least $10. Tipping location. Rolling the bill up lengthwise and putting it in your mouth is just rude. Also, possibly, painful. Don't do it. Certainly feel free to grasp one edge of the bill in your mouth to hold it there, against your lower lip and chin. I find the best place is in your belt. She's going to shake her goodies in your face regardless, so don't put anything in the way. If you want her to put on a show, put the bills where it will give you the most action for your buck. If she has long hair, you may be in for a surprise treat. General advice. Don't be a dick. You've gotten her attention. With any luck, she'll remember you and come visit. Don't forget to smile. This is supposed to be fun. Ask her to let you know when she's finished. When she says you're done, you're done. Get off the stage. She's the one putting on the show. Let her do her job. She's advertising for the back room. This is not the champagne room. No touching (on your part). Keep your hands/noses/tongues to yourself. If she pulls your kilt up and exposes you to the room, just go with it. Hopefully, nobody faints this time. Getting onto the stage. Some guys throw themselves on stage before the dancer even sees them approach. They'll come up over the seats and just lay down anywhere. I've also seen girls trip over a guy when she didn't see him there. I always approach slowly and catch her eye, then wave the money as I approach the steps. It gives her a chance to prepare her wardrobe appropriately before you get there. I walk up the steps slowly and use the pole to lower myself to the floor gently. I find that being near the pole is good because it gives the girl support to bounce on you or do a pole spin onto you (DANGER!). Getting off of the stage. Be graceful. Don't stomp around like a bear. Roll over onto your hands and knees and push up. Don't fall. If there is a pole or railing, use it. You're not insured up there. Take a bow or give a quick wave to anyone cheering. The show aside, behave like you're a gentleman and the woman who just shook her jigglies in your face is a lady. Again, if you arrange it in advance it is fun to bow and kiss her hand. Maybe that's just me. The Face Trick. This is getting more popular. She takes your bill and creases it lengthwise, then tents it over your nose and mouth. She sits completely on your face and her natural moistness sticks the bill to her when she comes up. The problem now is with our new money. It is so light that the slightest breath, movement or breeze will send it off target. No need to ask me how I know this. I think we may have come up with an ingenious workaround for this problem. Put your regular donation in a more secure location (belt, sticking out of a front pocket, etc.) and use a 10¢ Canadian Tire bill for the trick! I mean, what were you saving that for anyway? I now have a few that I'm going to keep in my wallet. ($1 CT money? Oo! Big spender!) Bouncing. If she sits astride you and bounces in place, that's part of the show for the other patrons. It won't likely do anything for you at all. Be honoured to be included in her performance. Keep your hands on her knees (if facing), ankles (if not), or out to the side. You can add wild gesticulation if the latter. The crowd loves that. She may grind on you. That can work. The Pole Drop Trick. If you're very lucky, you'll get to experience this. If you're beside the pole, hips just north of center, a talented dancer can do a pole trick and land on you at the bottom. It's a great vantage point to see the trick from, but it can be painful if done incorrectly. A controlled descent is important. A SPINNING controlled descent is amazing when done correctly. Let her position you and don't move. Again, this is more of a performance piece than an act of carnal savagery. The Hidden B J. If she has long hair, she may shield your crotch from the crowd with it and shake her head back and forth vigorously or up and down in a visual mockery of the much beloved 'B J'. Note: she is not actually giving you a B J. She is NEVER GOING to give you a B J. It can be a bit of fun, but is mostly for the show. Enjoy it for what it is. There may be some ancillary contact. Don't read anything into it. The Prom. She takes you by the hand and puts the other on your shoulder. You do the same, but put your hand on her waist. Keeping a good 6" between you, you dance awkwardly for 3 minutes and leave the stage frustrated and alone.