Seymour 3970 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 Typically there are few posts on BDSM activities here, but, let's talk about that key element called the safe word. Your thoughts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 The safe word can either be binary or a gradient. Gradient makes it more complicated but does prolong the play. e.g. ok/getting-uncomfortable/no vs ok/no Safe words should be Short, Unique and Distinct to avoid confusion. Extreme pain can cause someone to clam up, a backup hand gesture is also advice especially if you incorporate a gag. The universal tap-out can be use either by tapping with the hand, foot or even head nods. Typically there are few posts on BDSM activities here, but, let's talk about that key element called the safe word. Your thoughts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214076 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 I once used the word sixty-nine, you can imagine how it turned out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S**a*Q Report post Posted January 17, 2011 The safe word should NEVER be something that may be used in a role play... So "No" is not really a good option. I could be like, "Oh no, don't do that..." and not really mean for the scene to end. Yelling out CHEESE or ROOF would definitely let the other people involved know that the scene should end. *(ROOF may not work, if we were doing puppy-play or something that involved barking... lol) Using colours is something that I've seen done. Green being fine to continue, Yellow be careful but not stop and Red meaning stop all play. When you are unable to speak, as in when there are gags being used, holding something in your hand like a handkerchief or a ball. Any time the item is released, the scene ends... In either case, the other party must be very attentive to not miss the safe word or gesture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 I have some experience with BDSM activities and the ladies that I have met all use the red, yellow and green system as Annessa has previously mentioned. This system is ideal in that usually a person won't randomly scream out "yellow" where you might yell stop or oh no. It also allows the bound or sub person to remain in control of the situation. Green obviously means continue, don't stop. Yellow proceed with caution but things should be okay as long as you are patient, etc. Red...red is stop right now and evaluate. Before you and your lady even begin the session it is IMPERATIVE that you are both on the same page and understand each others experience level and boundaries. By having open and honest discussions I have never had to say "red." Trust is key when surrendering control!:sadomaso: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cleo Catra 178382 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 When you are unable to speak, as in when there are gags being used, holding something in your hand like a handkerchief or a ball. Any time the item is released, the scene ends... Ahhhh what a great idea!!! I've never thought of this, but luckily I've never had to stop, so, so far so good, haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 Safe word or gesture can arouse another kind of feeling:vf: Without any gags, and you being the submissive of course, you can simply say "May I speak Mistress" and if she says "Shut your mouth slave" Well than you might have to grin and bear it :spank: and you might have to tap out :handcuffs: with or without these on can be difficult. J/K yes the color scheme of safety word works well,the norm is you both decide prior to, for your " safety word" for the session. In either case, the other party must be very attentive to not miss the safe word or gesture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyra.Graves 23779 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 I always encourage someone to have a Red, Yellow and Green safeword but I don't allow my partners to choose those words. Colours can be used in a number of scenes and are commonly said as a descriptor, if a Domme were to say "Your ass is all red." it would not be unusual for the Sub to repeat a variation of that which would mean end of scene though the person may not mean to call an end to it. I've always encouraged someone to select a safeword that is common in their everyday life but does not play in their fantasy, something that may relate to their job, home life (street, pet, mothers maiden name - it's not just good for retrieving forgotten passwords! etc.) or a favorite food (pomegranate, bananas and grapes can follow the colour scheme and the green and yellow ones you could incorporate into a scene allowing you to stay in the role - be creative - but it's unlikely one will use pomegranate in a scene). I also insist on having a physical cue in case the person is unable to speak. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 I have used "uncle" once before it was funny at the time :) Mistress had a good laugh too ;) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 In the Bdsm crowd the more accepted and well-know are green, yellow and red. Green as everything is fine continue! yellow please slow down and check on with me and red stop what you are doing/get me the fuck out of the restrains. But I often see people using banana as safeword and in french "pouce" wich is tumb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ricco 411 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 Same here, banana seems to be quite popular as the emergency stop (so to speak) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TGirl-Kay 7484 Report post Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) I'm fond of Red for stop every thing, Yellow for slow down and Green for all's good. It's common and most know the meaning. I don't use these safe words myself when I bottom as I have a synesthetic relationship to pain with red being a lite warm up and bright electric blue being the point where things are at there most intense. Red, Yellow, Green makes this hard to comunicate to the person I'm playing with. I use Stop as my safe word. Edited January 17, 2011 by TGirl-Kay added a word 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Scarlett 25073 Report post Posted January 18, 2011 I like the safe word to be something like stop, it is blunt and to the point. I have never had a client use it, because I don't often dabble in BDSM, but in the odd case I have, I like stop. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted January 18, 2011 "please don't hurt me" LOL RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted January 19, 2011 My safe word is 'more' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chanel Reign 28097 Report post Posted January 19, 2011 Mine is MERCY MISTRESS. Then I stop what Im doing. Doesnt break the role but makes me pay attention to what I may or may not be doing. Additional Comments: I like the safe word to be something like stop, it is blunt and to the point. I have never had a client use it, because I don't often dabble in BDSM, but in the odd case I have, I like stop. Hiya CK Using words like STOP HOLD DON'T DO THAT, can often get mixed up in what one is saying. It needs to be something that wouldn't necessarily come up in regular conversation. Something like yelling Peanut Butter, or Code Red. Many an mishap has happened because of this. Example: At a wrestling and bondage demo a lady had to be literally cut out of ropes quickly because she could not breathe. The word was given and within seconds she was free, no worse for the wear. Safe sex and safe BDSM. :whipping: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted January 19, 2011 The safe word should NEVER be something that may be used in a role play... So "No" is not really a good option. I could be like, "Oh no, don't do that..." and not really mean for the scene to end. Yelling out CHEESE or ROOF would definitely let the other people involved know that the scene should end. *(ROOF may not work, if we were doing puppy-play or something that involved barking... lol) Using colours is something that I've seen done. Green being fine to continue, Yellow be careful but not stop and Red meaning stop all play. When you are unable to speak, as in when there are gags being used, holding something in your hand like a handkerchief or a ball. Any time the item is released, the scene ends... In either case, the other party must be very attentive to not miss the safe word or gesture. I absolutely agree. I use the red yellow green system with all My clients. That way it also becomes ingrained in My mind so when I hear red..I stop immediatly. I have never made a sub have to say red because I am absolutely focused when in session. I pay attention to all verbal and physical cues. If a ball gag is in play We/we agree on a physical gesture before hand. If arms & legs are restrained then a head shake "no" is good. I have heard horror stories...one in particular about a long term D/s relationship where the sub was chained to a bar and the Domme took out her issues and rage on him to the point that she broke a couple ribs and he had to pull the bar out of the wall to get away. My personal and proffessional belief is (and I take this VERY seriously) that I will never conduct a session out of any kind of energy other that of genuine awareness and support of My clients growth. Never out of anger. Never from a place of personal issues. This may seem contradictory but My sessions are offered from a place of the most genuine love. That is the only way it can be in order to offer a safe and non judgemental place for My clients to be free to grow. Ps. your a kinkster pete...luv ya! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted January 19, 2011 If I'm the sub and I'm tied down, I hold a very large jingle bell in my hand. It clatters and makes a distinct noise if I drop it. A key ring, an empty cigar tube or a couple of loonies also work nicely to give an absolute STOP signal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted January 21, 2011 A nice long word, that's hard to remember is good, like Supercalafragalistic or something like that! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S**a*Q Report post Posted January 21, 2011 Hahaha Capitalman, that reminds me of the EuroTrip Movie... At Club Vandersexx. LOL!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chanel Reign 28097 Report post Posted January 21, 2011 A nice long word, that's hard to remember is good, like Supercalafragalistic or something like that! Antlerman if you yelled supercalafragalistic, or even expialadoshus, I would crack up laughing so hard I couldnt continue! Hard to stay in the mindset with Mary Poppins version of "meh". :) Its not nice to make Mistress Chanel laugh! :spank: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qwertyaccount 15793 Report post Posted January 23, 2011 Hahaha Capitalman, that reminds me of the EuroTrip Movie... At Club Vandersexx. LOL!!! You are right, that is a very funny scene. Check it out here: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/146895/safe_word/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted January 23, 2011 In honor of today's Bears-Packers game, the best safe word I can think of is: "Urlacher" Its clear, distinct, and puts a mental image in your head that should immediately calm things down. :icon_wink: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jake_cdn Report post Posted January 24, 2011 Given the result today I would have thought Rodgers was more of a safe word. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frosty 1349 Report post Posted January 25, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDnwxsdb82w its only the first episode that is relative to the thread the joke of course is no one will understand the safety word anyways the rest are just well funny i guess Not trying to hijack the thread Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
