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SP requests for client photo as a precursor to appointment?

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I had an interesting request from a well-reviewed SP earlier this week ... as a condition for making an appointment, she wanted a photo of me. I had, in my initial inquiry, given her information on my height, weight, etc. (I'm nothing out of the ordinary, dimension wise (smile)).

 

I was surprised when she wrote back, very politely, saying that she needed a photo of me before she would place an appointment. I mentioned this on PistolPete's "rant" message string, but i thought it worthy of its own topic.

 

First, I want to make it VERY CLEAR that I respect the SP's right to make any condition whatsoever on an appointment, and that includes a photo. However, I would think this would be a non-starter for most guys, and it definitely is a non-starter for me.

 

Any thoughts on this from clients or SPs?

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I had (probably the same sp) request a photo before she will book an apointment.

I guess it's understandable...

 

Try and picture yourself as a SP for a moment, and you knock at your clients door and this growse overweight harry woman answers and say's "Cawm Here Big Boy!!!!" LOL

 

 

Although I agree, client pictures will deter business elsewhere.

She is able to pick and chose her clients, so obviously this isn't a life line for some...

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That's a good question. It's not uncommon in the m4m trade that an SP may ask for a photo. This is because some SP's have had negative experience but still need the money. So its kind of gives them that barrier to refuse to avoid previous circumstances.

 

I have never heard of a female SP requiring a photo and I can totally understand why this would be a non-starter. I think it comes down to what your comfortable with.

 

You can always take a page from how we submit our images and block your face. But it comes down to what your comfortable with. There is lots of choice out there and if this girl gives you a negative vibe, move on. :cool:

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i have had men send me pics but i have never asked for one. I can see both sides of it though.

 

One- as was said already that the sp wants to make sure u are who you say you are but she can just get references from other sp's. If looks don't't matter to her.

 

two-the client giving a pic without even knowing the sp is weird as she can use that for other things...not saying she would just saying she could.

 

kisses,

Emma alexandra

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i wouldn't be sending mine you are going to see her so it's you who needs to know what she looks like not her if she don't like what you look like she don't have to let you in

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The oddest part was that she mentioned in a follow up message that she had supplied her picture to me and that we would both then "have something to lose." Problem is, she never gave me her picture nor had I ever asked for one ... I was willing to meet her based solely on the recommendations on this board. So I wonder if it was a mix-up, but I dont want to waste her time by asking.

 

I can see both sides too. The damage that would do, though, should the photo ever be disclosed makes it impossible to do. I also have never had any other SP ever request anything nearly as personal.

 

By the way, I have had a couple PMs requesting a name and, out of respect for the lady, I would prefer not to provide that. By the way, to hunter 's point, it was going to be an outcall visit to a well-known downtown hotel.

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I had no problem sending this well reviewed lady a picture as well as a phone number where i could be reached. I'm glad to know that she has at least some criteria for selection. I passed:)

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There are a few ladies that I want to see and I know they are hard to get. I guess they are popular. They have the right to ignore me if they want, they have the right to refuse me if they want. So basically they're in the drivers seat and if I want to see them, I have to try real hard. Sending a photo and a phone number is one way to earn a little trust, something an incall lady surely wants. They don't want yesterdays front page news showing up at their door (unless he's a gold medal winner I guess). So personally I don't have a problem. If these ladies were using photos to shame clients or "out" them they wouldn't be so popular to start with! But if you don't want to send a photo, that's your right but if the girl ignores you, that's her right, how can anyone argue that?

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Why they may do this.... I don't think it's because they don't want to see fat hairy bald men...

 

1) Protection. They would make sure the guy who answers the door is the same person in the photo then let him in. This way if the guy had bad intentions or got out of hand the photo would protect her in many ways.

 

2) Racial or ethnic profiling. I hate to admit it but I have had to remove a few threads from SP's who are racist (I personally have no tolerance for that so if I find any post like that I remove it immediately) but some SP's refuse to see certain people based on race or color (Mostly Asian, east indian and Black men in general but I have also removed a post from a white SP who only likes to see black men and found that equally racist and removed it as well).

 

3) Married Men. Some sp's do not like to see Married men. They may feel that by sending a photo really shows that you are not affraid of being caught by the wife. Not I am really guessing at this one but I have been told by a few sp's that they do not see Married or Attached men so if you put 2 and 2 together this could be a possibility as most Married men would be very hesitant at sending a photo to a SP.

 

4) Legal. If you send a photo and the person shows up and busts you for something you can pass the photo around to others and let them know who to look for? Again can not confirm this but it's a definate possibility here.

 

I am not saying that any of these are actual real reasons for the photo request!

 

I am just giving you some idea's as to some of the other reasons some sp's may ask for this.

 

Chances are since this is the Ottawa section the ladies acquiring pics of public figures would probably be unlikely so they may be limiting themselves a little much but if it helps make them feel safe and protected and they are not doing anything malicious with the photos I would say it's probably for trust and protection... unfortunately if the wrong people start to do this it could be used for blackmail or some other malicious reason so it could easily backfire!

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My two cents..

 

In an industry such as this, where DISCRETION is of the utmost importance, I'm baffled by this request?

 

First, If safety is the concern, why would a pic help? A crazy man's not goning to care if he sends you a fake pic.. by the time you know its a fake he has the address/info.(ie: crazy guys will not be weeded out)

 

If personal hygiene is your concern, a well placed " Let's take a shower" or "would you like to freshen up" will usually suffice.

 

So to sum it up.. I'd say its not about either of those factors.

 

This industry is well suited for women with depth of character and a love of men (of all shapes, sizes and ethnicity's) vanity and a "high opinion" of one-self will do you absolutely no good in the long run.

 

I understand it is the personal choice of each sp, but in the end alienating half of your client base is just, bad business 101.

 

Just my thoughts.. Kim..

 

(p.s. Most of my BEST sessions tend to begin, with the most timid and shy emails I receive..lol.. It's an intimadating thing, (contacting an escort) So I would say she's missing out on some great clients.. who DEPEND on DISCRETION)

 

.

Edited by Kimberly-Shea
i'm long winded tonight.. : )
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First, If safety is the concern, why would a pic help? A crazy man's not goning to care if he sends you a fake pic.. by the time you know its a fake he has the address/info.(ie: crazy guys will not be weeded out)

 

I would disagree with that just because if you look at the serial killers that have plagued this industry most of the psycho's tried not to get caught. If it's premeditated then sending a photo of yourself would sure give the police a good start at finding the killer. In extreme rare cases this would probably take you off a serial killers list. Same with a stalker, if they thought you would post a photo of them and warn others or even send a photo to the police chances are they would not stalk you (Of course some extreme cases would prove me wrong).

 

But... I agree this business needs a certain level of discretion and a lady doing this would loose a lot of good potential clientele as many men would not be comfortable doing this (For vanity reasons or even for fear of someone outside the business finding out).... however if it makes them feel more safe and they don't mind waiting for the right guys who are willing to meet this demand then all the power to them - it's a personal choice to request a photo and a personal choice to send one.

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myself, i have no problem sending my photo to an sp before a booking, she has a right to know how she's gonna be intimate with. maybe she's only trying to build a select few regulars and she asking to picture to choose between them, who knows for sure. Kubricfan the only way to know for sure is ask her, i'm pretty sure i know who you're talking of, since i received a simular e-mail, she said that know question was silly, just ask her her and i'm sure you get an answer.

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I think, like Kim, that this is really mind boggling. Why ask for a photo? getting that photo is a guarantee that the person in it is the person who's gonna show up at your door? LOOK HOW EASY IT IS FOR SPs TO POST FAKE PICS!?!?!?!?! hahahahaha If a serial killer wants to slit ur throat, he's gonna send you someone else pic and get your address still. whoever this lady is who's going around breaking YOUR (as in the client) privacy.....well i hope she can read this thread ad see where other people's opinions lie on the subject.

That being said, since i don't know who this unmentionable woman is, i canot say for sure why she would want to do this. Perhaps she's on the same train of thought as i am? which is; trying to figure out a way to not be overly busy. for example, my recent "rule" of no new clients. It's quite simply that i do not wish to be as busy as i previously was. This is an excellent way of slwoing things down for myself....maybe she feels the same way about her business?

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Again, the SP did explain in general terms the reason for her request ... so that "we all have something to lose." Her words, and when I re-read them this morning, its sounds like a sincere explanation, possibly about her own concerns about being exposed as an SP? Not sure, but I think all the explanations I've seen so far have some credibility, although I'm a bit concerned that my name is now associated with a message string about weeding out weirdos, fat guys, and minorities (big smile). I'm none of the above, and I think I have a good posting record here and even more so on the other board with the same name.

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I posted kind of against what you were saying Kubrickfan, but I have no ill feelings towards you, don't worry about it. We just have different opinions, that's what makes the world go 'round eh...

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Hobbiests and SP's come in all different types. I do understand a part time SP with a side business over and above her career wanting a pic. Kim you have said before that part of the reason you don't see people under 35 is you don't want to run into someone you know socially, this would help with that? And broaden your potential client base to guys under 35 with a pic?

 

Also Alexis you will not take any new clients at your in-call, not sure if the picture policy would help with that? This would broaden your client base to new in-call clients with a pic?

 

At the end of the day I am sure that all three of you (Kimberley, Alexxxis, and the pic lady) all have more than enough business to keep you going for a long long time, so however you choose to screen is your business. Luckily I am over 35, I have seen Alexxxis before, and I sent the pic!!! :D (I always send a picture breaks the ice a little)

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I experienced the pic request from this well reviewed lady. Needless to say, I was concerned. However with the quality and number of reviews and after a few emails I became a little more confident in the lady's discretion.

 

But in hindsight I'm not sure I would do that again.

 

I have also run into requests for picture ID and phone numbers. But it turns out you can book and they are not really required and not asked for. So you never know.

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Shes a well reviewed lady so it really shouldn't be a problem...

Especially if she has another business she probably wants to make sure she doesn't know you already. Imagine if she were a teacher and you were the dad of one of her students....

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Shes a well reviewed lady so it really shouldn't be a problem...

Especially if she has another business she probably wants to make sure she doesn't know you already. Imagine if she were a teacher and you were the dad of one of her students....

 

Exactly!! That is the type of situation

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NO NO NO... NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS (if I live that long.) There are enough SP/MP's that do not request them and are doing fine. How far are we going to go with these "serial killer/lurkers suppositions?

Why not ask for a passport?

 

leyley

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Well its definitely a trust thing, we eaach have to find a comfort zone on this one. Considering that there is an element of risk in the hobby; if you do incalls its theoretically possible photos of a risque nature, taken without your consent, could become an issue. As indicated, in this instance, there seems to be a good reason for the request.

 

To illustrate using an otherwise normal situation, there are a couple of my photos on websites associated with my career and conference presentations, that can be readily accessed and possibly used in a malicious way if someone wished to (e.g identity theft). However I agreed to leaving them up because I judged the risk acceptable.

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