Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted September 5, 2011 I don't know why I haven't heard about this agency. I can't find any reliable reviews, just some shill. I understand that everyone has to start somewhere and self-promotion is never easy when you really don't have much to promote. Okay. I'm willing to consider TOFTT if I'm ever in Ottawa. I've got $16.50 in Canadian Tire money. What will that get me? Oh, and please... don't send any pics with your reply. Some things are better left unseen until the final moment, eh? Thank you for your enquiry. Here at Fat Bastards we consider Canadian Tire Money as legal tender. Why? Because we are discerning Gents who spend a lot of time at Canadian Tire looking for "handy" things. We completely agree with Red Green (in fact he has been nominated as our Champion). "If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 5, 2011 $16 in Canadian Tire money is good enough for me! That'll get you the full Capitalman BFE experience for probably at least 2 hours.....more if you just ask. In fact, this is such a great idea I might just start working for Canadian Tire money only! So much easier to hide from the tax man too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 5, 2011 I think we should also work on our extras list guys... like the ladies do. They ask for Victoria's Secret gift cards, Holt Renfrew Gift Cards... stuff like that... Sure we can accept Canadian Tire Money, Bus tokens, small change, rolled coins, etc., but the ladies have "gifts" that they appreciate on their web pages. I think we should work on stuff that they can bring with the money.... here's the start of a list: (1) Food. Let's face it, we all eat. By bringing food they will make us happy and it stops us from having to make it later. (2) Beer. Beer is our friend. Plus when they leave, we can have more and return the empties to increase our profit margin. (3) Electronics. We are guys. We love gadgets. Let's ask for gift cards. That's what I have so far.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted September 5, 2011 I am getting TJ,Deuce Bigalo's pimp to draft me up a business plan ;) I like the beer idea Old Dog. Works for me. YMMV..... if my service was up to snuff ....I would would appreciate a meat lovers pizza, extra cheese :) It is a fat bastard club afterall....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted September 5, 2011 Porn DVDs, fishing tackle, meat for the BBQ, Gift certificates for Mark's Workwear World. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted September 5, 2011 On occasion, appreciative clients give me tickets to things like concerts and the theatre. These are great gifts. I'm thinking that the Fat Bastards might enjoy tickets to the demolition derby, right? :icon_lol: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyofHalifax 15339 Report post Posted September 7, 2011 If you guys need a driver, I have a deluxe limo to deliver you to your appointments in style. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 7, 2011 If you guys need a driver, I have a deluxe limo to deliver you to your appointments in style. Hmmmmm.... beats this... but they do have a sign that announces that we are coming to an appointment. We were never big on spelling... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whatsup 11893 Report post Posted September 7, 2011 Time to bring out the Fat Bastard Logo again. Enjoy, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 That reminds me of the last time I brought a lady a gift....her website said her favourite thing was these special chocolates. So I searched far and wide only to find out they need to be shipped in a cooler truck from Toronto to keep them from melting! So I show up with these things to our date and she tosses them aside. I'm like "WTF?" So I ask her....."Don't you like the chocolates? Aren't they your favourite?" She's answers "Oh I don't care, I just told the website guy to write something interesting in the GIFTS area of my website." Doh!! On occasion, appreciative clients give me tickets to things like concerts and the theatre. These are great gifts. I'm thinking that the Fat Bastards might enjoy tickets to the demolition derby, right? :icon_lol: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 That reminds me of the last time I brought a lady a gift....her website said her favourite thing was these special chocolates. So I searched far and wide only to find out they need to be shipped in a cooler truck from Toronto to keep them from melting! So I show up with these things to our date and she tosses them aside. I'm like "WTF?" So I ask her....."Don't you like the chocolates? Aren't they your favourite?" She's answers "Oh I don't care, I just told the website guy to write something interesting in the GIFTS area of my website." Doh!! That's why we need to ask for meaningful gifts... like porn, beer and food. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 here you go.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 here you go.... Meg, I think I can squeeze you in. I have an opening between now and um.... November 14th. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 Ladies: Catch a glimpse of the Fat Bastard's In-call Community: Oh and you can buy one of these at the giftshop: 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 9, 2011 Ladies: Catch a glimpse of the Fat Bastard's In-call Community: That's right, we laugh in the face of tornadoes!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted September 10, 2011 I'm... stunned! Yes. Aghast, even. Where, precisely, is this located? I wouldn't want to end up there by accident, you know? :icon_eek: By which I mean, of course, I wouldn't want to arrive unprepared.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 11, 2011 Old Dog is of course, the Mastermind behind this whole incall location of ours....he can provide you with a personal invite and directions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted September 12, 2011 I got a new outfit. I notice that a lot of guys like the school girl look on the young ladies so I'm going for the Fat Frat Boy look.....you know something like Bluto in Animal House. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 Hey Cap, F2F.... did you guys clean our sheet? It was getting pretty disgusting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 Are you saying it's time to air the dirty laundry? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) Are you saying it's time to air the dirty laundry? I guess that is a no.... I think we should have more than 1 sheet and 1 towel. Additional Comments: Fat Bastards BBM has been invited to join a new organization, that being the Erotic Recreation Enthusiasts Canadian Team (ERECT) We are proud now to announce that all Fat Bastards have joined, and we welcome you to come see all of our ERECT members. The Ottawa Headquarters (near Parliament) will henceforth be known as ERECTION Center (Erotic Recreation Enthusiasts Canadian Team In Ottawa North Center). Now When you think of ERECTION, you will immediately consider our members. ERECT is closely associated with a loose knit federation called (appropriately) the Various Action Groups In North America (VAGINA). We would like to assure you that whenever you see a Fat Bastard/ERECT member, we will be thinking of our long lasting commitment to VAGINA. All ERECT members and many VAGINAs are committed to stamp out the hatemongers calling themselves the Society for an Orgasm Free Toronto (SOFT) and their political wing, the Liturgically Inclined Members of Parliament (LIMP.) Please help us in our cause. If you can't commit fully, any kind of assistance will do... lend a hand to our ERECT members. Thank you. Edited September 12, 2011 by Old Dog 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 Old Dog: I am beginning to question just how bad things are for you when I consider how much time it took you to research all these groups and their acronyms. I think an intervention might be in order some time soon. As far as the one sheet and towel, at least make sure you have two, so that hopefully we can get a dry one if not a clean one! Geesh, do us ladies have to teach you guys EVERYTHING about running a successful in-call. BTW the way Fat B's new "pay by the inch" promotion has saved me lots of $ lately. I was very pleased to be presented with a $10 exit fee last time I booked. But I think last time I'd like to see someone with more than 5 inches. I can well afford $14 for 7 inches. I know I'm asking a lot, but do you have anyone that big? Let me know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 hmmmm.... height or waist measurement??? heheheheheheheheh 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 hmmmm.... height or waist measurement??? heheheheheheheheh If I was talking 5 inches, you know what I mean. No, not fingers either!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 12, 2011 Fat Bastards BBM has been invited to join a new organization, that being the Erotic Recreation Enthusiasts Canadian Team (ERECT) The League of Insignificant Male Prostitutes (LIMP) stands proudly (more or less) with ERECT. We just hope your organization doesn't prove as ineffective as the Federation of Loosely Affiliated Canadian Cuddly Intimate Dudes (FLACCID) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
