Provider to Friend?

[ulixestrojan 3757]

How common is it for a service provider relationship to transform into a friendship relationship? I would like to hear from both men and women if possible.

 

Thanks.

[bounty40 100]

I've had very limited experience and none of that recent but I've remained in contact in a friendly way with a couple of the SPs that I've seen.

[d*mm*y 887]

How common is it for a service provider relationship to transform into a friendship relationship? I would like to hear from both men and women if possible.

 

Thanks.

 

If there is chemistry you make a bond and become friends that's just what happens, at least in my experience.

[ulixestrojan 3757]

I agree Dummpy - do you find it becomes complicated or do you have that ability to just keep ir simple?

[Poker 125]

I have recently transformed an sp into a friendship. Going out for drinks. Sitting having coffee. Even gone shopping with her. Complicated? So far no, but who know what hold's in the future. I know one thing, we can't worry about what may happen. I'm just glad we get along so well and have a real good time.

 

Still find her hot and wanna get down her pants but that's the perve in me lol.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I am not sure if a (nude) dancer will qualify as a service provider or not. If it does (kind of SP without FS) then as far as I am concerned it is very common. I dated a number of girls I met at strip bars over the past ten years and our (out of SC) relationship was not based on material things but rather enjoying each other's company.

 

I have been in this hobby too short to comment firmly on a FS service provider, but in a couple of cases I have felt deeply about the girls but so far I have never dared to ask for a date (because I think their time is money to some of them) which we can have dinner and dance (and nothing more). Mind you recently one SP (who will remain anonymous) stayed with me for hours on her own will, after the booked hour was over. We talked and wined and and watched TV and ordered dinner and then we went to her incall place to meet her very friendly lovely puppy. She has a BF though which means she was not interested in a relationship but just having a good time.

 

I will be in a better position for a firmer answer on FS SPs in a year or so (if I stay in the hobby that long). Just a final comment based on gut feeling that it is much more likely to become long term friends with independents than agency girls as I found agency girls always in rush and their time (and may be even their life to some extend) is controlled by the agency they work for.

[dreamer8 510]

How common is it for a service provider relationship to transform into a friendship relationship? I would like to hear from both men and women if possible.

 

Thanks.

 

I have a couple friends who are providers.

[d*mm*y 887]

I agree Dummpy - do you find it becomes complicated or do you have that ability to just keep ir simple?

 

Not as complicated as the traditional GF thing that is for sure, it is still understood that it is a temporary thing. if things get out of control than it would have to end, at least with an SP they have as much to loose as you so you can be assured that they won't do anything to stupid (unless they have no life eeek)

[YoungStud 468]

Speaking from personal experience, yes, it's possible to be both a client and also have a good long-term friendship both in and out of bed as part of that relationship. For me, having sex with a friend is always much more satisfying.

 

I have a couple friends who are providers.

[the lurker 160]

This happens all the time actually. But it's one way. They become friends. That's it. Happens with dancers too. Yes I still would love to get in their pants, but they'er friends so wouldn't even try. They have become an important part of my life. There are always alot of women out there to see, but these women are special.

 

Good question though.

[m*******e 103]

It is becoming more common where good clients become friends. In fact the SPs will have a few very good friends of such who will help them and do much more for them. It can sometimes be alittle complicated and difficult.

[boo 100]

I've transformed a bunch of MPs and dancers into friends over the last year. I don't know how common or uncommon it is but I do know that you shouldn't ever expect anything out of it. Last time I was in Montreal one of the more popular Indy's and I went out for dinner and drinks and she paid for us.

 

 

Lurker that's interesting about a one way relationship. I guess it depends on the type of person as I've become friends with dancers and MPs and we've still hooked up on and off the clock. We're still friends today.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I think it can be either way...a friend with benefits or not. Some men try to befriend us thinking they can have all the sex they want. Some are sincere....sometimes its hard to know the difference. So if they want to "be with you" then they should still give you the envelope then you know they like you for you. I have become friends with many men through this biz and i wouldn't trade them in for anyone. I always tell my friends outside the biz the only men i truly trust are my clients...lol

 

kisses,

Emma

[bjqueen-eve 100]

I've had some clients somewhat push a friendship on me. Why wouldn't you want to be friends, once were friends it's a whole new set of rules. You can't treat a "friend" the same as you would a client. You now know there life story. You have to be sensitive to thier feelings.

I am by nature a very friendly person(people pleaser) I have had friendships develope, but I also have found that in this case there can be a little of the "new friend" taking advantage of me. By this I mean, no longer do I get my full price. You can't ask a friend for more money because you now know the hardships thy are facing.

They take advantage of you time. I recently visited a client, this is a new client and I believe that it was only 2nd or 3rd visit. They had requested that I stay for an extended period of time. Now on the first visit they asked how much for entire night. This leads me to believe that they know it is not included in the one hr fee. I think in total I stayed fifteen hrs, took a nap, had a bath and so on. You can tell he wanted company, and I provided him with the full GFE service. There were comments made that lead me to believe that an additional fee would be included at the end. When the time came not only did I not recieve the additional fee, I didn't even recieve the full fee, or was provided with agreed apon traveling expenses. So after fifteen hrs I walked out minus fifty dollars of normal one hr fee.

I think that after the original meeting, and additional visits my "new friend' realizes that I am passive and than takes advantage of that. Maybe friendships aren't in my best interest.

[Guest f***2f***]

Yeah you see that's BS! I would never presume to take advantage like that. I am friendly with the sps but would never presume to take that for granted to get extra favours in the bedroom. If it was offered...well I'm a red blooded man and of course would take it but never would i short change or presume upon a friendship like that.

I've had extra time in the past when the sp is having as much fun as me but I've always made sure she's cool with that.....as soon as she indicated it was time for me or her to go or that extra money was needed I do what is necessary.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Sorry Eve to hear about this experience. But this cannot all be on the client. While I agree he took advantage of your good nature, it's up to you to set the rules and boundaries after all you are the provider. If you provide the service you should be clear on the price so that there is no confusion or awkwardness like that which happened to you. The client is a cad and an asshole not only not paying for the extra time but paying less than the standard fee. Hardly anything a friend would do i hope you take him off your list. Give me his address 'n I'll go visit him with my horse.

 

But much like the clients of this board who tough out a bait and switch situation and don't walk away, you are only enabling this client and possibly others to take from you without reprocution. It might seem awkward but this is a business set the rules upfront to avoid the much more intense awkwardness to take place at the end of the appointment.

 

I'm certainly not pointing a finger at you I speak from experience all be it not the same type of service. I often do favours for friends and family that make use of my varied skill sets. I'm always pleased to help, I'm a giver after all, :) but if my favour involves costs or put's me in a position to not earn money or missout on a business opportunity, I will be clear with those requesting my help. In most cases it's not an issue and the clarity is appreciated. Often my friends have skills that i need to tap, and i'm always prepared to pay their fee or costs, but also provide my services in trade.

 

I have a mechanic friend who did brake jobs for me for a 40 of rum and endless access to my computer knowledge as I set up his computer network and point of sales system. Barter is great if anything because the government hasn't been able to tax it yet!

 

I've become friends with and maintained freindships with many sp's over the years, Some of which i choose to see socialy and others whom i continue to see on the clock, others i do both.

 

It's difficult in this trade/hobby not to be come friends with some one with whom you share such intimacy and passion.

[cat 262460]

Warning...the word "love" is used in this thread many times. For those that have committment issues, fear of attachment or relationship paranoia this post is not for you!!! The word is not intended to represent the traditional understanding of what our society calls the infatuation that leads to the insanity of being "in love". It is a much deeper resonating energy that comes from deep within. That said....

 

This is a great thread! People are complete, unique entities and that is beauty of our existence. As Eve described there are those that don't understand the complexities of the human spirit. I have been there, opened the envelope and had my stomach fall out. I have learned and try to ensure it doesn't happen, but when it does, I chaulk it up to tithing. Obviously they are unaware in their essence and may never see the bigger picture. I feel pity for them more than anger.

 

 

I have been incredibly fortunate in my life. Everyone in my "real life" who is in my inner circle knows what I do, and I live an inclusive life. My guests are friends from the moment we meet. The bond grows and the relationship matures. I have a couple of those incredible men that are my "down time" friends. They come and hang when I am in sweats and no makeup. They have seen the reality behind the show, shopped with me, hung paintings and mirrors, felt the intense focus of preparation. They keep me real during the panic moments. When my daughter made her "great escape" this summer, one sat and held me while I worried for her. He stroked my hair and whispered words of encouragement that I desperately needed to hear. His hugs kept me sane. When she arrived he was there when the inevitable questions came. He helped me explain what I do in a way I could never have articulated without it sounding like a sugar coating. When I think of him, inside I know I love him, he is my friend and will always be my friend. In their own ways my guests contribute to my life in ways that can't be put into words.

 

Those that are so inclined and cut the mustard meet my family. I had a guest attend my daughters 18th birthday party. He is my friend. Another meets me for dinner at a local pub every Sunday evening when our schedules connect. We then sit and talk into the wee hours. It is time I treasure. I have friends that are welcome in my families homes. I have an unusual extended family and they open their hearts to those that want to enter and when I introduce someone as a friend they welcome without hesitation. My guests have had dinner with us, they come to laugh and celebrate our milestones. They offer guidance with their knowledge and life experience because they all come from varied backgrounds, there is so much out there I am oblivious to and their advice is always welcome.

 

Loving in this world is crucial and I do so openly. It is unconditional and the "in love" boundaries are seldom breached for a reason that is beyond me. Perhaps because I am older and not the "fall in love" kind of girl. I have no expectations, and whatever they are comfortable with is good with me. I take each moment as it comes and enjoy what it brings to my life. The closest friends I have outside of blood ties in my life have all been guests. Some retain the guest priviledges, others prefer to go the platonic route. I trust their judgement in this arena because intense emotional connections with a physical aspect can be difficult.

 

As I have eluded to, I ran into trouble with the US Feds and I found out who my true friends were. They weren't limited to my family and friends, my guests stepped up to the plate in spades. I had one show up to put his house up for my bond, others quietly delivered envelopes to my lawyers, some sent money orders to my facility to ensure I had necessities and some took collect calls and orgestrated communications that otherwise would have been impossible. To this day, these men are my friends. I love them for exactly who they are, not what they offer on a monetary level. They showed me that the connection I felt with them was real.

 

The role I play in my guests lives is multifacited. I willingly step into whichever aspect they are lacking in their lives. Seldom are we given the opportunity to not play a role, and when a guest walks thru my door there is no role to play. They get to be themselves without fear of judgement, they are accepted for who they are at the basest level and the being "stripped" of his apparent identity is always infinitely more attractive than any role they play in their world. The soul emerges and it's incredible. I follow their lead, if they are looking for something that allows them to stay at arms length, that is good with me. But if they are seeking and their spirit connects with mine, I go with it.

 

Are these men my friends? Absolutely! Is it difficult? No! Would I change it? NOT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!

 

Catherine

[Seymour 3970]

I think it is easy to happen and from the responses so far, fairly common. Exploitation of the friendship is definitely a no no in my books.

[d*mm*y 887]

I have never experienced exploitation from the SP side that is for sure the ladies around here. The ladies are very considerate and respect my needs even as friends they are great.

 

Now exploitation the other way I can not comment, but I could see how that could be a problem.

 

I think it is easy to happen and from the responses so far, fairly common. Exploitation of the friendship is definitely a no no in my books.

[Dreamgirl 246]

Cat, i relly enjoy to read everything you say on the board!

 

I ve never been in that kind of situation... but I have to say I wouldnt let anyone take advantage of me for sex. You see right away what kind of friend that is!

[Guest f***2f***]

Cat, i relly enjoy to read everything you say on the board!

 

I ve never been in that kind of situation... but I have to say I wouldnt let anyone take advantage of me for sex. You see right away what kind of friend that is!

 

Yes absolutely, Julie, you are absolutely correct. That is not a friend at all.

 

Once again Cat has provided us with much truth wisdom and experience gained, sometimes the hard-knock way.

 

My favorite ladies are the honest to goodness, what you see is what you get gals, no BS, no drama.

As an SP if a lady shares herself on another level with me I honour that.

I think all this comes down to respect.

I never de-humanize the other person...I always try to be as honest and forthcoming as possible...there are obvious secrets I don't share quickly but if you are a regular the conversation turns deeper and more personal.

 

I enjoy an intelligent lady more than a dumb sex machine (they are fun once). So my true GFE is a lady who I get comfy with and remembers the conversations we've had so we can start up where we left off.

 

I don't really need or want another relationship of "love" I have one of those...I need the extras that are not in that one..sharing with an sp who I can trust is awesome cause rarely are there subjects that are "off limits." I can share a part of me that the persona of respectable married man does not provide me with.

 

Cat and I have talked about the BS around the whole "love" thing in our society and it is just that. We love on different levels with different folks...this whole fairy tale "love at first sight" "happily ever after" is all horseshyite.

:-D

[loneskater 25635]

My best woman friend is an SP. We actually met for a business relationship but then althought it wasn't planned we became friends. We are no longer involved business wise but we still see each other regularly. She knows I am seeing other SPs and I know she has clients. It has never caused any problems and actually we don't have to tip toe around this subject. It is just one more thing we can talk about, amongst many discussions we have had. I also see a few other SPs who I consider friends but we do have a SP client relationship. I have never asked them for a rebate. I know their fees and when we meet for business I pay the appropriate fee. I would not ask for a change unless we mutually agreed during a seperate conversation to change things. These ladies I got to know some about them and found them to be wonderful women. They know they can count on me to help them whenever they need it and that it soesn't imply that they need to return some special favour. Seeing them smile makes me happy.

[kih 458]

A few SP's that I frequent are also good friends. This is the comfort level that we are at whether its going for a coffee, drink or a sitdown meal or shopping etc.