What would you do?

[business_student_sj 333]

What would you do if you were looking aroung this site and found a relatived of yours, be it a sister, aunt, niece, cousin, or "gulp" a daughter listed as a service provider? Curious as to the answers, would you say anything to them? Surely you would not book with them, but what would be the best way to handle it to avoid embarassing her or yourself?

[rickkkm 525]

If they are adults, I would simply walk away; the fact you are on this site may also suggest this lifestyle is one you don't have issues with......the booking aspect is not an issue, curious you asked though!!! Good luck man!!

[roamingguy 300291]

Just as you are entitled to be on this site as a hobbiest, ladies, be they

sisters, aunts, cousins or daughter,(with the caveat that they are adult and not under age) are just as entitled to be on this site as SP/MA. Everyone here is opposite sides of the same coin

If I were you, say nothing, do nothing

If it causes you problems, you should first address your being a hobbiest yourself.

SPs/MA's wouldn't be in business unless there were guys such as you willing to utilize their services

RG

[Athos 108589]

Just as you are entitled to be on this site as a hobbiest, ladies, be they

sisters, aunts, cousins or daughter,(with the caveat that they are adult and not under age) are just as entitled to be on this site as SP/MA. Everyone here is opposite sides of the same coin

If I were you, say nothing, do nothing

If it causes you problems, you should first address your being a hobbiest yourself.

SPs/MA's wouldn't be in business unless there were guys such as you willing to utilize their services

RG

 

Absolutely,

 

It's incredibly hypocritical to say I can be a hobbyist, and enjoy the company of ladies who I respect, etc., etc., and then turn around and be critical or upset about a friend or relative being a provider.

 

I often think it's very sad when ladies have to hide what they do from their friends and families. I sincerely wish we lived in a more open-minded and welcoming society. Having been in this hobby for quite a while I often have wondered what I would do if my daughter became an escort. I think everyone has to make their own choices, and I would support her. I would probably want to talk to her about how she was organizing her business (client screening for example) to ensure her safety.

 

In answer to the OP's question, if I recognized someone on here from our other civilian world, I would treat it the same way I would a chance encounter on the street with a SP I see. Say nothing, and go about your business. It would also probably best not to book her.

 

Porthos

[roamingguy 300291]

One quick additional thought, all ladies, be they SP or MA are someone's mother, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin etc.

Just something to keep in mind

RG

[backrubman 64800]

What would you do if you were looking aroung this site and found a relatived of yours, be it a sister, aunt, niece, cousin, or "gulp" a daughter listed as a service provider? Curious as to the answers, would you say anything to them? Surely you would not book with them, but what would be the best way to handle it to avoid embarassing her or yourself?

 

It is the world's oldest and most honorable profession so I am quite certain that I would respect their choice. My sister lives in Vancouver, I only hear from her once or twice a year and for all I know she is hanging around Davie street. She is a few years older than me and that makes it not my business what choices any adult makes, she has the right. If my daughter wanted to do that and approached the avocation with the same dedication and conviction as those I have come to know, again, as an adult her choice to make, not mine. I do not judge those that would take up or choose this most honorable of professions.

[rickkkm 525]

Absolutely,

 

 

In answer to the OP's question, if I recognized someone on here from our other civilian world, I would treat it the same way I would a chance encounter on the street with a SP I see. Say nothing, and go about your business. It would also probably best not to book her.

 

Porthos

 

not probably, walk away and don't even think of booking!!!!

[Boomer 33202]

I think that it would make sense to approach them privately and with respect. The approach I might use is that I am a member of the Cerb community and noticed you were on there also. Allow them to respond in their own way. One other clue as to the course of action might be to take some time to browse through their posting history, and get a sense of their degree of openness to being approached.

 

I personally have a photo of myself in my profile, so there is no reason to expect that they also may not have come across my identity.

[roamingguy 300291]

The first question I have is why approach them at all. If they wanted to share with you their chosen profession, they already would have let you know.

Second, a key aspect of this lifestyle is discretion. It is hardly discrete to "out" someone, irrespective of that person being a family member

And the undertone of those wanting to see them and "out" them indicates a somewhat condescending attitude towards the family member. It's ok for me to be a client seeing ladies (who are someone else's daughter, mother, sister, aunt etc) but it's not ok for you to be a SP, and I know best.

This is one situation to steer clear from. Pretend you don't know. If she want's you or any family member to know what she is doing, she'll let you know. If she doesn't let you know, that's because she doesn't want you to know. And once done, you may irreparably damage a family relationship...is it worth that risk

RG

[Andee 220524]

My first reaction would be to say keep your mouth shut and keep that information to yourself and just continue on as normal. Do you really want them knowing you're a hobbyiest or SP yourself?

 

Is it a conversation you really want to have? I'd say if you do approach them, depending on how well you know them and what your relationship is, it could make if very uncomfortable for them.

 

What a person doesn't know, can't hurt them.

 

Just my two cents.

[Athos 108589]

The situation may vary depending on whether the person is a friend or family member, and the closeness of your relationship with the person.

 

There is also the danger that disclosing your discovery to the individual may be seen as threatening, like you are holding the information over them. Disclosure seems to me to be full of pitfalls and friendship/relationship damaging potential. Silence preserves the status quo so long as you can act accordingly.

 

I do wonder whether the OP's question was posed as a hypothetical, or whether it's a situation in which he finds himself.

 

 

Porthos

[backrubman 64800]

The situation may vary depending on whether the person is a friend or family member, and the closeness of your relationship with the person. There is also the danger that disclosing your discovery to the individual may be seen as threatening, like you are holding the information over them. Disclosure seems to me to be full of pitfalls and friendship/relationship damaging potential. Silence preserves the status quo so long as you can act accordingly. I do wonder whether the OP's question was posed as a hypothetical, or whether it's a situation in which he finds himself. Porthos

 

Well the OP did say family and I have to assume it was hypothetical but it is an interesting topic as just how we do react when we run into someone we know makes us a gentleman or otherwise.

 

Once I was propositioned on the street by a girl I dated in high school :) She didn't realize it was me until I faced her head on to thank her for her offer and very politely decline it, wishing her a great evening as I always try to do. We ended up going for a coffee and having a wonderful conversation (the evening was still young).

 

Another time I did run into an SP I had seen professionally and I was with my wife, we passed as ships in the night with only a slight smile to each other of acknowledgement that no one could notice or be sure of which is the way it should go down.

 

On another occasion a lady tripped (why they wear high heals... anyways) on the front steps of an Ottawa hotel and the entire contents of her purse was dumped down the steps, condoms, pager (in those days) and even her business cards. I was the only one that stopped to help her collect it all before the wind got it and she was so embarrassed until I assured her I felt she was in the world's most honourable of professions (there was no doubt from her business card) and we became friends.

 

I'm just unable to see this job in any way as something other than any other job, except to say that I do have to admire those that choose to do it.

[business_student_sj 333]

It is strictly hypothetical, but none the less there are some very interesting responses. My biggest fear regarding this industry/profession was and still is to enter a strip club and see that the dancer is one of my daughters. Not for the fact they would be dancing but for the embarassment/uncomfortableness that would no doubt crop up.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

many years ago, I was working for agency. They sent to a house. I arrive knock on the door, and who answers? The friend of my father's lady friend, more or less almost family! I step in, his jaw to the floor, stuttered and was obviously shocked. I immediately took control of the situation, and assured him everything will be fine. I said" no worries, I wont say anything to anyone, either will you. I will tell agency to send you another lady" I then left. I was surprised that I was able to have my head straight enough to take control, as I was shaky after I left.

 

I always say, if they stumble on my ads, well I will point out that I have a right to be there as they have a right to search. This should not go one way. In most cases they wont say a thing, as they would end up "outing" themselves! It is about privacy and respect.

[Sam13 536]

Very well handled - this is one of the many reasons for discretion in smaller areas. Visiting SP's reduce the risks of this type of encounter but not entirely! Wish I could have seen his face tho - priceless...

 

many years ago, I was working for agency. They sent to a house. I arrive knock on the door, and who answers? The friend of my father's lady friend, more or less almost family! I step in, his jaw to the floor, stuttered and was obviously shocked. I immediately took control of the situation, and assured him everything will be fine. I said" no worries, I wont say anything to anyone, either will you. I will tell agency to send you another lady" I then left. I was surprised that I was able to have my head straight enough to take control, as I was shaky after I left.

 

I always say, if they stumble on my ads, well I will point out that I have a right to be there as they have a right to search. This should not go one way. In most cases they wont say a thing, as they would end up "outing" themselves! It is about privacy and respect.

[business_student_sj 333]

I thank all who took the time to respond, there were some interesting responses. I think Sophia hit the nail on the head with her response and I am very impressed at how she handled the ackwardness. Sounds like she has more going on then just a pretty face and rockin' bod.

[mchrissy2 329]

I have actually been in a similar situation. Walked into a strip club in Gatineau where there are 25-30 beautiful young women at work and, lo and behold, My neighbours daughter walks right by me. Gorgeous..........next time she walked by she did a double-take and seemed to recognize me and then just went on from there....kind of staying away from me all night. I didn't push it. As I said, gogreous, and, circumstances being different, I would have gone for a private dance, but, she seemed clearly ummmmm uneasy about me being there. I understand that. I would never run over and rat her out to her people and I left it there. As it should be.

[rickkkm 525]

I find it more uncomfortable when you spot people, guys mainly, you know very well, who are in committed relationships/mariage (wife, kids, cat & dog) etc...lol....because they are extremely uncomfortable when spotted in those "situations" and as a result make you uncomfortable also.....Being an sp/stripper etc.., its not a big deal really as its their profession....but I get your point.....

[cat 262460]

My take on contacting them is a bit different than those who've posted. If someone in my family was secure in himself and his involvement in the industry, then I would l actually welcome being contacted. This profession is so isolating when it comes to family. As long as you were going to be supportive and positive, it would offer an opportunity to share a common bond that neither party can share with "the family". It could very well be an avenue to developing a better relationship with someone you love.

That said, be sure this is someone you want to get closer to. I have lots of family I don't want to know better. I'm thankful they live far away and do nothing more than post on their facebook to keep me informed of how often they go to the bathroom, work and bed. There are a couple of distant cousins tho that I wish I had known better growning up and wouldn't shy away if they came to me knowing my professional persona. They all know what I do, they just don't know "who" I am so if they had an inclination, I wouldn't be hard to identify...

cat

[explorer69 3513]

I might talk to her . Not all women are in this because they love the work. I might just check in on her and see if she is ok, and whether there might be something I could help her with, to end up in a more recognized "legitimate" profession.

 

As much as I enjoy and respect all of the MPAs/SPs , it is not the life I would choose for my daughter or one of my friends. Though on this and other boards there are many discussions about marrying an SP/MPA, the general public is not so accepting.

[cometman 35115]

I would probably adopt Cat's approach somewhat. If it were someone I would trust, I would offer advice and encouragement as a friend and letting them know they have an ally that understands and does not condemn their lifestyle. For many providers, I am sure they are somewhat isolated in their working life and knowing you have a friend to turn to could be huge. Once the friendship is established, I'm not sure there could be a business relationship if they were not related- that could cross an invisible line. If they were related, of course there would not be any hanky panky. However, having a relative as a confidante in this business could provide some peace of mind. Everyone needs a friend for comfort in trying times.