References...

[auto351204 669]

Hi, all. While I have never had difficulty finding a provider on my visits to lovely Canada, I have seen sites with very intriguing providers requesting references. Due to my infrequent visits to Canada, I have never been a 'regular' and so I really don't have any references. I am perfectly willing to go through a verification or vetting process, but I don't quite know how to address this issue. Any suggestions?

 

Thanks.

 

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[kechara 2526]

Hi, all. While I have never had difficulty finding a provider on my visits to lovely Canada, I have seen sites with very intriguing providers requesting references. Due to my infrequent visits to Canada, I have never been a 'regular' and so I really don't have any references. I am perfectly willing to go through a verification or vetting process, but I don't quite know how to address this issue. Any suggestions?

 

Thanks.

 

Auto

 

Contact the SP who you are interested in and talk to them about what their process is.

[roamingguy 300291]

Another alternative is to use verification sites, such as Date Check (there are others, just can't think of the names off the top of my head right now)

But my advice, even if you don't have a reference, be open with the lady you wish to see, providing her with your real name, phone number, email, and board handle confirmed by pm. She may wish additional information as well.

Good luck

RG

[Boomer 33202]

I would think that if you take the time to answer the providers questions honestly you might find the reference unnecessary. The key is being open and honest. What they need is to be able to verify your identity, and it may be simply the registration information you used to book yourself into your hotel. You have to create a level of trust.

 

The second thing is to develop some relationships here in advance of travelling here and trying to get a date.

[bcguy42 38594]

... While I have never had difficulty finding a provider on my visits to lovely Canada ...

 

I would think providing the name of a provider would provide enough information to stand as a reference.

 

Oh, and all the other advice is good, too.

[roamingguy 300291]

One thing, if you have seen a lady you would like to use as a reference, before providing her name to the lady you wish to meet, ask her first.

Nothing like a lady getting asked out of the blue by another lady about a client she saw. And depending on how long ago she saw you, she may not immediately remember you

RG

[backrubman 64800]

Hi, all. While I have never had difficulty finding a provider on my visits to lovely Canada, I have seen sites with very intriguing providers requesting references. Due to my infrequent visits to Canada, I have never been a 'regular' and so I really don't have any references. I am perfectly willing to go through a verification or vetting process, but I don't quite know how to address this issue. Any suggestions?

 

Thanks.

 

Auto

 

It's never been a real show stopper. There have been lots of times when I am in one city or another and a meeting that I thought would go late into the evening is finished really early or even cancelled, leaving me with the the rest of the evening free very suddenly and unexpectedly. Of course I always try to contact a ladies I have seen before on the off chance they are available on short notice but this is the circumstance were I sometimes find myself seeing someone I haven't before and usually within the next hour or two - no time for her to check references so none asked for and then I even have a new reference (if I needed one).

 

So in this circumstance, I try my favorites first and if I strike out there I always have a list in the back of my mind of interesting ladies and chances are one of them is available on short notice. They will want your real name and to call you back at your hotel suite (asking for you by name) and then the answer is see you in half a hour :)

 

In particular if you are from out of town (or the country) like this, willing to produce ID and don't want to play secret agent -- being forthcoming with all the requested information most ladies love to hear from you.

 

I'm sure you can set up an appointment well in advance with one of the ladies that usually requires more extensive reference checks given where you are coming from you wouldn't really be expected to have any. Just tell truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. A partial advance payment by Interac email is pretty safe if the lady has a good reputation and is well recommended it certainly takes away any concern about you being a no show. I don't know if you can do that from a US bank account by email, but there is always Western Union or a similar method available and if you are trying to set up an appointment well enough in advance then lots of time for her to swing by WU office at her convenience in the next week or two and pick up the advance.

 

Every lady is a little different with her requirements, so you write to her and express interest and then follow any instructions she gives you to get past her verification procedures to the letter and offering an advance to be applied against the appointment fee will help as it proves you are serious. There is almost always a way in if you can follow instructions and have nothing to hide.

[withpassion 914]

My rule of thumb is that if the SP want's a reference, kick her to the curb and find another. Her rules are completely up to her, but why jump through ridiculous hoops to spend your money? Seriously!

 

Now the rest of you, please don't get your backs up. I did say the SP can implement any rules she wants and so we can do as we like, as well. Also, that is my opinion (and approach) and it is just as valid as anyone else's.

 

Cheers.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

... but why jump through ridiculous hoops to spend your money? Seriously!

Because in life there are more important things than money... In this lifestyle, safety is always priority number one for most of us.

 

Jumping through hoops? lol How difficult can it be to say "I saw xxx a while ago. Here is her contact information"?

Sounds pretty easy to me.

[roamingguy 300291]

My rule of thumb is that if the SP want's a reference, kick her to the curb and find another. Her rules are completely up to her, but why jump through ridiculous hoops to spend your money? Seriously!

 

Now the rest of you, please don't get your backs up. I did say the SP can implement any rules she wants and so we can do as we like, as well. Also, that is my opinion (and approach) and it is just as valid as anyone else's.

 

Cheers.

 

kick her to the curb??? ridiculous hoops???

I'm sure statements like that raise warning flags with the ladies.

Likely it's guys like you that are the reason ladies require verification and references.

Ladies are deserving of respect, and I certainly do not see any respect for the ladies coming from you with that post. You could say you chose not to see ladies requiring references without bashing those ladies who do require them

RG

[withpassion 914]

Because in life there are more important things than money... In this lifestyle, safety is always priority number one for most of us.

 

Jumping through hoops? lol How difficult can it be to say "I saw xxx a while ago. Here is her contact information"?

Sounds pretty easy to me.

 

You see, I believe that is unfair to the other SP in divulging her information--as was previously mentioneed by another. Besides, what does it prove unless you contact the SP, which is also an invasion of their privacy. So let's assume that you actually respect their privacy and don't call, then what's the point? If you do call, that's just over the top.

 

Furthermore, if someone is a newby and every SP had the same rule, then NO ONE would EVER be able to meet an SP EVER!

 

It's all nonsense. But, if that's how you operate, all the power to you. I understand the safety aspect, but there are many other ways to cover that. I was simply stating what I saw as a waste of time and recommended moving on to other SP's that actually want to meet and not make a statement. It is my opinion.

 

Additional Comments:

kick her to the curb??? ridiculous hoops???

I'm sure statements like that raise warning flags with the ladies.

Likely it's guys like you that are the reason ladies require verification and references.

Ladies are deserving of respect, and I certainly do not see any respect for the ladies coming from you with that post. You could say you chose not to see ladies requiring references without bashing those ladies who do require them

RG

 

Oh please! What disrespect? I just knew there be some goody-boys jumping in. Someone asked advice and I gave my opinion (heck, I even gave reasons for my opinion) and I get some disrespect from you? You don't even know me. Now that is disrespectful. I've been told many, many time by SP's how nice, warm and caring I am, so don't you jump in with your negative world comments about me.

 

Opinions are just that. No need to jump in to galantly defend one who needs no defending. Really! Please!

[backrubman 64800]

My rule of thumb is that if the SP want's a reference, kick her to the curb and find another.

 

Oddly there is a loose relationship between the level of screening a lady requires and the quality of service she provides. I say "loose" because nothing is ever a completely hard and fast rule and there are always exceptions.

 

Just the same I have seen enough ladies to recognize that there is a relationship between her attention to careful screening processes and her attention other aspects of the service she provides.

 

When a lady pays that much attention to detail that she requires the opportunity to screen her clients very carefully, it is almost always the case (has always been the case in my experience) that she will also pay just as much attention to detail when it comes to making your appointment with her the very best that she can also.

 

In short, if she is OCD about screening, she is probably OCD about the overall quality of her services.

[withpassion 914]

Oddly there is a loose relationship between the level of screening a lady requires and the quality of service she provides. I say "loose" because nothing is ever a completely hard and fast rule and there are always exceptions.

 

Just the same I have seen enough ladies to recognize that there is a relationship between her attention to careful screening processes and her attention other aspects of the service she provides.

 

When a lady pays that much attention to detail that she requires the opportunity to screen her clients very carefully, it is almost always the case (has always been the case in my experience) that she will also pay just as much attention to detail when it comes to making your appointment with her the very best that she can also.

 

In short, if she is OCD about screening, she is probably OCD about the overall quality of her services.

 

Fair enough. That is a great observation!

[Genevieve Marceau 68000]

 

Jumping through hoops? lol How difficult can it be to say "I saw xxx a while ago. Here is her contact information"?

Sounds pretty easy to me.

 

I think that the difficulty may come from the fact this type of clients may not have the best reputation inside the SP community.

 

 

kick her to the curb??? ridiculous hoops???

I'm sure statements like that raise warning flags with the ladies.

Likely it's guys like you that are the reason ladies require verification and references.

Ladies are deserving of respect, and I certainly do not see any respect for the ladies coming from you with that post. You could say you chose not to see ladies requiring references without bashing those ladies who do require them

RG

 

The lack of care and concern in this comment is definitely a warning flag for me. I think this gentleman just kicked himself out of the curb...

[withpassion 914]

Oh man. Okay, I thought the implications were enough, but I feel that more is required.

 

Point #1

 

So, let's say that every SP had the same rule. Think about it, then no one would ever have any business (I'll explain: because if you can't get a referral, then you can't play and if you can't play, then you can't get a referral--a bit of a viscious circle).

 

Point #2

 

Given point #1, then these SP's are basically saying, "My safety is such a concern, then I want another SP, any SP, to take the initial risk before I venture forth." With that attitude, then I feel, IN MY OPINION, then most definitely kick them to the curb.

 

I'm sorry if that offends you (SP or hobbyist), but don't you even see the hypocrisy in that????

 

And how dare you say that lack of care and concern!!! Why? Because I don't like or appreciate your approach? Where's the care and concern for my beliefs and feelings? Yup, exactly my point!

[PistolPete 61421]

I will just say this, without getting into the snide remarks earlier. I understand your concern about references. When I had commenced my hobbying I basically got well known by providers that were kind enough to vouch for me to see some SP's that required reference checks, it was really painless for myself, and I was able to see those ladies.

 

I completely understand the requirement of reference checks, and I have no issue continue to jump through those hoops for those beautiful women, that I desire and want to meet them. Like Gabriella, Genevieve, Victoria Jolie , Ashley Croft, Maria Divina,Gia Sweet,Nathalie Lefebvre and many others.

 

But we all had to start some place, and if you're a good guy act like a gent, your name gets known to other ladies that the whole process is quite easy.

 

Cheers folks, make love not war ;)

[cometman 35115]

I will just say this, without getting into the snide remarks earlier. I understand your concern about references. When I had commenced my hobbying I basically got well known by providers that were kind enough to vouch for me to see some SP's that required reference checks, it was really painless for myself, and I was able to see those ladies.

 

I completely understand the requirement of reference checks, and I have no issue continue to jump through those hoops for those beautiful women, that I desire and want to meet them. Like Gabriella, Genevieve, Victoria Jolie , Ashley Croft, Maria Divina and many others.

 

But we all had to start some place, and if you're a good guy act like a gent, your name gets known to other ladies that the whole process is quite easy.

 

Cheers folks, make love not war ;)

Good post, Pete.

References are not the be all and end all. When I first started, I was freaking about references because I had none. However, I contacted an SP and was very polite and respectful, and she saw me. We had a great time. As Pete said above, word gets out. If you're an ass, they know it and the word spreads. If you're a nice guy, word gets out. These ladies are not stupid......but sometimes we men are, and they pick up on it. I have never yet been asked for a reference (even in the early days), but it's because I select well and I'm hoping they feel they also select well. It hasn't failed me yet, but if it does, I'll supply references. Remember, if the lady ain't happy, I ain't gonna be happy. LOL

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

You see, I believe that is unfair to the other SP in divulging her information--as was previously mentioneed by another. Besides, what does it prove unless you contact the SP, which is also an invasion of their privacy. So let's assume that you actually respect their privacy and don't call, then what's the point? If you do call, that's just over the top.

 

Withpassion, in order to be in business, most, if not all ladies have some kind of public information somewhere available for clients/potential clients to contact them through whether it'd be via our website, email address, a phone number or even via PM on Cerb therefore providing another lady with that information is not an invasion of privacy.

 

The point of asking for a refence is actually to check it ;) If not, what's the point of asking for one in the first place?

I also do not think I am over the top when I contact a lady for a reference. I just think I am doing my due diligence in a pro-active manner. All I ask is- have you seen gentleman xxx and would you see him again if he contacted you for another get together. From there, I can assess the situation and accept or decline the request (also based on other factors).

 

I'm sorry you feel like we are "over the top" if we actually go through with our screening process. To each their own,

I guess.

 

Furthermore, if someone is a newby and every SP had the same rule, then NO ONE would EVER be able to meet an SP EVER!

 

Not every SP requires references; it is a personal choice, one that has to be respected by all. A gentleman without a reference can easily see a lady who doesn't require references at first or contact the lady of his choice and explain his situation. You would be surprised how most of us will work with him and offer him other options.

 

It's all nonsense. But, if that's how you operate, all the power to you. I understand the safety aspect, but there are many other ways to cover that. I was simply stating what I saw as a waste of time and recommended moving on to other SP's that actually want to meet and not make a statement. It is my opinion.

 

Asking for a reference is not about making a statement. It's about insuring our safety first and foremost. Maybe it's all non sense to you, from a client perspective, but as a companion, I see it under a very different light; I chose how I want to screen my new potential clients in a way that makes me feel most comfortable and I see it as time well invested and not as a waste of time. If a gentleman is not willing to provide me with a reference (even though he has some) then he has many other options to chose from... Not just in the process but in companionship too.

[withpassion 914]

SP's are basically saying, "My safety is such a concern, then I want another SP, any SP, to take the initial risk before I venture forth."

 

Funny, never a mention about the above.

[xxxAxxx 21016]

 

"My safety is such a concern, then I want another SP, any SP, to take the initial risk before I venture forth."

 

Probably going to be criticized for this but I am really on the fence on the whole topic and the above statement is kind of the reason. Though I do believe every SP has the right to her own "procedures", I don't agree that they are better or lesser quality SP's than one another depending on if they pre-screen or not. I think a previous comment in regards to SP's who screen showing more interest in your pleasure was false and descriminative as I would describe myself as the type of SP who always gives 110% and am OCD about alot of things in my encounters; even though I do not pre-screen. However, if you need to screen clients, please do not ask for my help as I run my own business (my way) and am not willing to do pre-screening for other SP's. There is risk involved and I am not taking it for your profit. I am aware some people may not agree with my mentality but that's how I see it and you have a right to see it your way. That goes for clients too, If you don't want to jump through hoops, DON'T. Simple as that. If you don't mind the hoops, you may even find it was worth all the work. To each their own, I think that's what's important here. Happy hobbying!

 

Additional Comments:

 

Asking for a reference is not about making a statement. It's about insuring our safety first and foremost. Maybe it's all non sense to you, from a client perspective, but as a companion, I see it under a very different light; I chose how I want to screen my new potential clients in a way that makes me feel most comfortable and I see it as time well invested and not as a waste of time. If a gentleman is not willing to provide me with a reference (even though he has some) then he has many other options to chose from... Not just in the process but in companionship too.

 

It is always about YOUR comfort! If gentlemen don't want to undertake your pre-screening, then they aren't the gentlemen for you. ;)

[auto351204 669]

First off -- WOW! Thanks for all the replies!

 

While I am discrete, I have no problem providing the information (name, number, etc.). I would expect no less and completely understand the safety issue. As I 'window shop' prior to my visit, I'll just do as others have suggested and contact the SPs well in advance. Maybe some will allow me the opportunity to prove that I'm a gentleman without references. :-)

 

Thanks again, all!

[Former Moderator 2840]

This a good topic, let's keep the conversation respectfull and civil. Some people are skating on thin ice, please present your thoughts and opinions without any personal attacks.

[kechara 2526]

Furthermore, if someone is a newby and every SP had the same rule, then NO ONE would EVER be able to meet an SP EVER!

 

I am one of those newbies. I did decide I would like to see one of the SPs who asks for references. At this time I was not able to provide one.

 

As others have mentioned the easiest thing to do is to contact the lady. I contacted her and we communicated back and forth for a bit. I do have an upcoming appointment.

 

At no time was I jumping through hoops and have been having fun exchanging emails with the lady in question.

 

I can't say that my experience with the SP I have been in contact with would be the same as ever other, however I would have to say I would respect each SPs desire to make sure their safety is assured. The assurance is not my choice or any other clients to assume, it is when they feel their safety is assured.

 

 

My rule of thumb is that if the SP want's a reference, kick her to the curb and find another.

 

I can understand what you are saying with this. A bunch of times I make a decision the day I wish to see an SP and go from their. Going through a process to provide a reference does not always fit into this time frame.

 

I do think you would have had a different response from people if you hadn't used the wording "kick her to the curb", and just stated you choose to find one who does not require references.

[fortunateone 156618]

 

I do think you would have had a different response from people if you hadn't used the wording "kick her to the curb", and just stated you choose to find one who does not require references.

 

 

You are right about that.

 

 

Any client these days that wants to see a wide variety of different sps, is going to have to eventually get on the reference band wagon. Some will need them some won't. It isn't always about safety, it is also about not having their time wasted and not losing $$ in order to set up something with a time waster.

 

Some sps do not require references because they do not have to put other things aside or pay out of pocket to set up appts, and they do not allow long advance notice prebookings.

 

It should be noted that sps who do want references provided only need it one time for each client who wants to book an appt. It isn't necessary to provide them for additional appts lol. Sometimes I get the feeling that it is such a burden of time and energy that it cannot possibly be done by some guys the way they react to the idea.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

... if you need to screen clients, please do not ask for my help as I run my own business (my way) and am not willing to do pre-screening for other SP's. There is risk involved and I am not taking it for your profit.

 

Out of curiosity, if a gentleman gave me your name as a reference and if I followed up with an email to you and asked you if you had seen him, if he was a respectful guest and if you would see him again, you would not take a few minutes of your time to answer my email/PM with a simple "yes, I have seen him and he was really nice during our date, have fun" or "yes, I've seen him but he was a bad date" or any variable of your experience?