References...

[O'Cahla 4352]

That;s KINDA what I was asking, since I've never been in there for a visit-LOL- Not sure what's in there.

[jafo105 39057]

That;s KINDA what I was asking' date=' since I've never been in there for a visit-LOL- Not sure what's in there.[/quote']

 

It's top secret for females only... lol

[roamingguy 300291]

Not saying it's a bad idea, but if a lady is uncomfortable giving a reference to another lady about a gentleman, then by the same token wouldn't she be equally uncomfortable giving a reference so to speak to all ladies via the SP only section

But, and not starting any arguments here, isn't providing references and warnings just a way for the ladies to help one another by proverbially watching each other's backs

Anyhow, just my two cents

RG

[Guest]

Not to start fights either but I find it highly inappropriate for people to be taking about the sp section here to being with. This is a sacred area for the sp's to communicate with one another and a place for escorts to feel safe.

[Guest *l**e]

giving a reference can be a troublesome thing to be asked;

 

examples;

- an Sp gives a guy a positive referral then the sp he sees gets treated badly by him. sp2 may be angry with sp1 for giving the goood referral...rightly or wrongly, this could happen

 

-sp gives a guy a negative referral...the guy knows he used her as his reference, and the sp he wants to see turns him down, the guy could get pissed of at the referring sp, and this could put her in danger.

 

giving a reference, whether in this world, or even in business (job referrence) is a serious thing. It is not a given that everyone should be doing it. I totally respect both opinion on this one. i hope everyone can try to understand and accept the opposing view to their own even if they don't agree with it.

[Phaedrus 209521]

One thing that does strike me from reading this thread: I think it might be an idea if ladies who don't give out references, for whatever reason, were to say so on their ads/websites, wherever. My reason for saying htis is tht if I were to ask a lady for a reference and she were to refuse - even if she never gives them for anyone - my first thought would still be, "Oh, shit! What did I do???"

 

Anyone ever thought of' date=' in the SP/MA private section, creating a client Reco section, AS WELL as a warning section. It would give at least a PARTIAL screeining aid if SPs and MAs could just look up a handle. I know it would not include ALL clients or preclude all screening that might be deemed necessary, but it might be a possible initial check.[/quote']

 

I vaguely recall that something similar to this has been discussed before (in one of the public areas of the board), and the general consensus was that it wouldn't work that well. I can't remember why, though, and I can't find the thread now...

 

Not to start fights either but I find it highly inappropriate for people to be taking about the sp section here to being with. This is a sacred area for the sp's to communicate with one another and a place for escorts to feel safe.

 

There's no harm in us knowing it exists. Anyone looking at the front page of the site after logging in can see that much. Nobody's asking to know anything that's said there.

[Guest]

There's no harm in us knowing it exists. Anyone looking at the front page of the site after logging in can see that much. Nobody's asking to know anything that's said there.

 

It's not the mentioning I have a problem with. It is the starting a conversation about what an escort may or may not do within that section that I have a problem with. If we wanted all of you guys to know, we would post what we are saying or doing in that section publicly.

[emb3750 9398]

I am having a hard time biting my tongue on this issue....

[Gia Wren Marlowe 67985]

I think that one thing to keep in mind is that most providers who ask for a reference also have alternative screening methods if a reference isn't possible. So it's not quite the roadblock some have made it out to be. I would also say that it is not the case that providers who ask for a reference are not also paying attention to tone, manner, wording, etc. I do not believe most SPs substitute a reference for their own impressions, so I find it odd that it's presented as though there's this dichotomy - either she uses her gut or gets a reference. A reference isn't an excuse not to think for yourself. I'm sure most girls know that.

 

But as to why they would be requested at all, I think that a very good explanation has been given already for why travelling providers use them, but I would also point out that references can be very helpful to someone new to the industry. It's fine to say that we can go by our gut alone, but generally it takes some experience to hone our instinct. Instinct is not some magical talent that some people have, it's not a sixth sense. It is data gathering and pattern recognition most of the time. It takes time to gather enough data to start spotting patterns and figuring out what sounds like a time-waster and who sounds like bad news. We've all interacted with people all our lives so we don't come at this with no data. But for most girls this is still a new way of interacting with people so they need time to learn. In the meantime, references are a second opinion that can help you figure out if your impressions are correct or not. I know that some people are proponents of the school of hard-knocks, but I think in this business the knocks can be pretty hard.

 

For those who are not so new that continue to ask for references, I would simply say why not, if it has always worked for them? For many gentleman, obviously, it is not seen a hoop to jump through so there is no particular reason for them to change a working model. And, as I mentioned, most will offer to screen by more old-school methods if a reference isn't available.

 

But honestly, the whole debate about references only applies to providers who do advance bookings. I don't see how a provider who takes short-notice bookings could ever be expected to contact and hear back from a reference in time. So I think there are just as many valid arguments to be made for not using a reference.

 

I don't think anyone should be judged for using references, as though they are failing to use their own good sense and are making clients jump through hoops, nor do I believe it's ever fair to insinuate that a provider who doesn't require them is being reckless. I also believe that there are reasons a provider would choose not to give references as a policy. I won't go into them in detail, some have been mentioned, but I don't think it's really necessary to defend.

 

CERB is very positive and I love that things can be discussed and debated but I get a bit frustrated, or maybe dismayed, to see people put down for their preferred (and effective) methods of screening a client.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

At some point someone mentioned that it is appropriate for the gent to first ask the lady if it is ok to provide her name as a reference. This is extremely important! A few times I have been asked about mr x and did not know who it was. I meet people without ever knowing their cerb name or it could be someone I have only seen once a ling time ago....a discussion with me will jog my memory, otherwise, I will just say I don't remember you :)

[auto351204 669]

I started this thread innocently enough and honestly didn't fathom how quickly it would ignite. Again, my predicament is the infrequency at which I expect to be in the area (a few times a year depending on business). I'm certain I will gain the confidence of some of the SPs here, but it will take time. :-) Your safety is more important than my desire to gain acceptance, however, and I'm fine with that. Wouldn't want it any other way.

[cgnex 1616]

I find this subject very interesting. I am a novice who is here learning about 'the hobby', I can see both sides of this issue very clearly. My perspective is coloured by the fact that I have not yet engaged with a service provider and this lifestyle is very much outside of the norm for me. As a novice, my concerns are likely more amplified; whether that amplification is valid or not.

 

I truly sympathize with the service providers and fully appreciate the inherent risks of their profession. Screening and reference requirements are 100% reasonable. I respect your decision; hell, that would be a requirement of mine, if I were in your shoes. Its sad that abuse and violence enter the equation, but that's reality.

 

I can also understand the flip side. As a newbie, I don't have any references and the ladies whose profiles have interested me, many have participated in this thread, all require screening and references. I do recognize that more extensive screening is an option for those with no references; however, I hesitate to expose myself in that way.

 

I agree with Georgiana, regarding the suggestion that much of this discussion is based on a false premise. There is no dichotomy on this issue from the perspective of the service provider.

 

I also must confess that reading a well written post with correct application of the word dichotomy is the hottest thing I have read so far.

 

To be explicitly clear and not step on any toes accidentally with my very first post, please don't misunderstand my position. I am not suggesting that my concern over privacy is more important than your safety. I am merely pointing out that I can logically understand your need for screening and references, without it eliminating my concern for my privacy. It appears the true dichotomy is privacy vs safety.

[PistolPete 61421]

I thought I would just add another thing to this thread. If gents here in Canada think that going through a "ringer" "hoops" etc etc for reference checks, try seeking a SP in the USA.

 

Just wait until you see their method of checking clients, and than report back here in Canada, where some ladies just ask for a couple of references, there is absolutely no comparison.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Exchange of money for sex is illegal in the US whereas it is legal in Canada. There are therefore sting operations routinely carried out in the US by LE there and that explains the likely reason for providers in the US being stricter on reference checks. That said I am all for it. As I have said before I fully understand reference checks as a lady takes enormous risks coming to a total stranger's home (or accepting him in her home or being alone in a hotel room) so they are entitled to asking for references. Besides I don't see any reason for not providing it or being reluctant to provide one if one has one to provide!!.

[survived70s 582]

Prostitution is legal in Nevada outside of Vegas - although there is a lot of it going on in Vegas...

In the US, I told ladies that I was from Canada. A few asked for a drivers license, and they were really friendly after that - I lived in Calt fir a while...

It has been a few years since I have engaged SP in the states. Suppose that LE may get fakes IDs now... No more carte blanche for Cannucks:(

Very happy to be here and Canadian ladies are the best!