A bbbj talk.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

Wow, does this imply that the experienced SP that provides bbbj is naive. I think that many have made this an informed decision, not a naive one. I certainly wouldn't want to convey a message otherwise.

 

I don't think it means that the SP is naive. Rather, it means that we've made different choices based on personal risk-tolerance. There are many good reasons for choosing to offer BBBJs and many good reasons for choosing not to do it. I, for one, do not denigrate ladies who provide this option. I trust them to know what's best for them. I know some women, for example, who get tested every month and feel this provides them with more information and support for their choices than being tested every three months, for example. Others base their decisions on the number of guests they entertain. Some have health issues that make them more susceptible to infections in general and decide to limit their exposure for that reason. Everyone is different.

 

It certainly IS possible to be successful in our industry while offering only covered contact. I've done this for a very long time. It's also true that there are potential clients who will not tolerate this restriction and may be considered a loss in business.

 

Sadly, there are some clients who feel entitled to pressure paid companions into performing BBBJs even when they've been informed prior to the meeting that the option isn't available. They seem to think that it's okay to object to the condom after things are well underway, to refuse to continue the meeting, to demand a full or partial refund of the fee they've paid, to make threats about reviews and recommendations or even to go through with the engagement but write highly disparaging reviews later on.

[Hector17 9215]

I'm coming in on this late and not reading 8 pages on this topic that seems to have been well covered before.

The poll needs another option, that I believe would indicate the vast majority of clients would, of course, prefer bbbj, but would see SPs that only provide CBJ where their looks, personality, and/or other attributes make them appealing in spite of that restriction.

That would be my vote if there was a category, but I cant vote for the options provided.

[The General 11309]

I made that comment, basically because earlier it was insinuated that if you knew the risks, you would not provide this service, and that only the new SPs, combined by persuasive hobbyist would this service be offerred. Obviously I said it with tongue in cheek, since I think many know the risks and make informed choices.

 

I don't think it means that the SP is naive. Rather, it means that we've made different choices based on personal risk-tolerance. There are many good reasons for choosing to offer BBBJs and many good reasons for choosing not to do it. I, for one, do not denigrate ladies who provide this option. I trust them to know what's best for them. I know some women, for example, who get tested every month and feel this provides them with more information and support for their choices than being tested every three months, for example. Others base their decisions on the number of guests they entertain. Some have health issues that make them more susceptible to infections in general and decide to limit their exposure for that reason. Everyone is different.

 

It certainly IS possible to be successful in our industry while offering only covered contact. I've done this for a very long time. It's also true that there are potential clients who will not tolerate this restriction and may be considered a loss in business.

 

Sadly, there are some clients who feel entitled to pressure paid companions into performing BBBJs even when they've been informed prior to the meeting that the option isn't available. They seem to think that it's okay to object to the condom after things are well underway, to refuse to continue the meeting, to demand a full or partial refund of the fee they've paid, to make threats about reviews and recommendations or even to go through with the engagement but write highly disparaging reviews later on.

[whiteman 14028]

I'm sorry, I don't understand the difference morally or physically. As far as I'm concerned they are really no different. Both are putting a providers health at risk, therefore threatening her livelihood. Would you mind clarifying?

Well, let's see, let's compare the likelihood of getting pregnant from a BBBJ vs. BBFS?

 

This paragraph makes no sense to me at all. I should charge less for the same amount of time invested and effort spent because I'm trying to protect myself, my clients and the people we collectively love? A little clarification would help here as well...

No, you should charge less because of supply/demand. These days, providers have no problem charging more for a BBBJ, so why shouldn't they charge less for not providing BBBJ? If you think you can make up for it with other services, then by all means charge what your client base is willing to spend.

[Holy Crapper 292]

Would I prefer BBBJ - sure, much like I would prefer BBFS. I can't argue that the feeling is the same when covered. But is the added enjoyment worth the risk? Not for me.

 

Unfortunately, business is business and as long as there is a demand supply will meet it at whatever price the market will bear. The alternative would be regulation which I'm sure most would agree is fraught with issues. Who am I to tell a service provider what service(s) she provides? I can vote with my feet and go elsewhere if I don't like it.

 

 

It's enterprise and we just have to keep supporting safe choices.

[cat 262460]

Well, let's see, let's compare the likelihood of getting pregnant from a BBBJ vs. BBFS?

 

So the only concern is pregnancy? I didn't realize pregnancy was a disease, I'm so glad I've had my tubes tied so I don't catch it again! So guys only shun bbfs because they are afraid to father a child? Fathering a prostitutes child is scarier than taking chylamidia home to the wife and rendering her sterile? Wow! Of course, that makes complete sense to me now. The cesspool of everything else you might catch wasn't the issue. Whew, glad you clarified that for me!

No, you should charge less because of supply/demand. These days, providers have no problem charging more for a BBBJ, so why shouldn't they charge less for not providing BBBJ? If you think you can make up for it with other services, then by all means charge what your client base is willing to spend.

 

I'm sorry but given all the temper tantrums thrown by men over providers who charge for extras, we can't charge more for extra services but when we insist on protecting our health we should be paid less? So from a product market standpoint, cars that have high safety ratings should be less than cars without? Line workers who take safety precautions not to lose a limb should be paid less because they produce fewer widgets than those willing to lose an arm? It all makes so much more sense to me now! Thank you for this valuable insight, I will be sure to apply this strategy it to my next shopping trip. I'm sure the salesman will appreciate the crystal clear understanding I have when I explain to him why I should pay less for an ultra safe product as opposed to something that could endanger my health...

 

cat

[whiteman 14028]

So the only concern is pregnancy? I didn't realize pregnancy was a disease, I'm so glad I've had my tubes tied so I don't catch it again! So guys only shun bbfs because they are afraid to father a child? Fathering a prostitutes child is scarier than taking chylamidia home to the wife and rendering her sterile? Wow! Of course, that makes complete sense to me now. The cesspool of everything else you might catch wasn't the issue. Whew, glad you clarified that for me!

You asked what the difference in implications was between BBBJ & BBFS. :confused0024:

[Guest t****ster***ke]

painfully obvious truth #1: condoms suck

 

painfully obvious truth #2: std's suck way more

 

painfully obvious conclusion #358: wear a condom when you have sex outside of a committed, monogamous relationship (sp or not) and stop whining about how it doesn't feel the same. we all already know that, f--ckface! our shafts and heads all suffer the same diminished sensation as yours, but at the end of the day, condom sex is astronomically better than masturbation. and if you disagree, you are definitely seeing the wrong sp!

[cat 262460]

You asked what the difference in implications was between BBBJ & BBFS. :confused0024:

 

Yes, you clarified the physical implications. A baby is worse than a disease, I get it. And the moral implications are...?

 

I really can't wait to read your explanation on this aspect, it has been a real challenge for me to try and understand it...

 

cat

[craig101 3213]

Why do SPs get more money then MAs? Both can be beautiful,intelligent with a great personality and be wonderful companions. I thought SPs got more money because they provide more services. MAs are also safer so why are we paying less for them to be safe.

BBBJs are not a deal breaker for me. I think SPs should do whatever they feel comfortable with. The more comfortable she is, the more I will be. At no time should anyone pressure anyone to do something they are not comfortable with.

[Ftn40 824]

As with many threads, there are a variety of opinions, a lot of information, and many things to think about.

 

For example,

 

There's a huge difference between BBBJ and BBFS, and I'm not even sure how these two topics are getting conflated together. The moral and physical implications of these two are worlds apart.

 

Well, let's see.

 

"BBBJ and BBFS" are actually very much alike in that they both scream increased likelihood of conditions that you do not want.

 

"These two topics are getting conflated together" because there is a equally popular thread, "A scary subject: BBFS" http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=126321, where people are expressing similar health concerns.

 

And while I don't understand the "moral implications" of one sexual act versus another, if you Google more likely than oral sex you learn that the "physical implications" are actually in the same HPV "world".

 

http://www.care2.com/causes/oral-sex-more-likely-to-cause-throat-cancer-than-tobacco.html

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

So, after reading this thread and the BBFS thread, if some of you say that BBBJ is the same as BBFS then all the ladies who chose to offer BBBJs at their discretion should be blacklisted the same way as when a client asks for it?

 

I offer BBBJs at MY discretion but I am certainly not willing to throw out the condoms out the window and start offering BBFS!!

[Ftn40 824]

Sorry, I was trying to support a woman's right to say "No" while supporting a woman's right to say "Yes" without her feeling pressured either way by anyone.

 

Please forgive me.

[Guest]

Sorry, I was trying to support a woman's right to say "No" while supporting a woman's right to say "Yes" without her feeling pressured either way by anyone.

 

 

I think that is a wonderful statement. I do not think that the ladies should lower their price for cbj's. I just don't think it's fair to say they are giving less of a service because they feel the need to protect themselves. I also don't think that anyone should made to feel pressured into giving bbbj's because people think they should lower their price or want a bbbj. If the particular provider you are looking at does not provide the service you are looking for, that just means you have to look elsewhere.

 

It is the ladies choice to provide bbbj's and it is something I am still providing, while I make up my mind. I think we all agree that there's some risk involved with bbbj and it is up to each individual to decide whether they are okey with the risks involved in providing and partaking in bbbj. As two consenting adults it is up to the escort and the client to decide what they are going to do behind closed doors. Lexi wrote a wonderful statement on the bbfs thread and I agree with her, comment number 72.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=126321&page=8

 

I think that people on this thread and the bbfs thread are trying to inform people about the risks involved in partaking in bbfs or even bbbj. I think that there are different opinions and when there are different opinions there's always going to be a clash. Just like everything else in life, take what makes sense to you and leave the rest. there's nothing wrong with talking about things and informing yourself. You don't need to agree with everything you read on the threads but it's good to be open minded.

[mister_m 100]

The only service that matters to me is the chemistry. Nothing beats a good connection. A lady should provide whatever service she is comfortable with......and please guys don't ever pressure her for more. I find it shocking that guys in this age would try to pressure for more. NOT COOL!

 

I personally feel quite safe receiving bbbj, and while it's relatively safe on the guy's side, there is some risk on the lady's part and I respect anyone who chooses to offer cbj only.

 

BBBJ or CBJ are fine with me.........but I've gotta have that chemistry.

[Holy Crapper 292]

Balance of risks and benefits by both players. As I said earlier, no demand equals no supply. The market determines the rest.

 

Each provider offers what she feels appropriate, each consumer goes after what he wants. There are risks, you just need I be honest with that and not force people into places they don't want to be. We are fortunate to live in a relatively clean society where you can often get away with BBanything without consequence. Is that good or bad? I'm not sure.

[Illana 160]

well as a tgirl in the industry I feel there should b no question about it. Isn't any one concerned about yourself or your client? In a lot of work environments, isn't safety first? Sure I have performed bbbj but only for my regulars,who i feel ok with. Sure u could say its a little shallow but if there is a trust and honesty (well I am for my part) use your own judgment. I still ask if they would like protection regardless. It is tricky,no doubt, your there to please and to be the best experience they have had but as for myself, always cautious. I have had first time clients walk away, no hard feelings, but, sorry, I have to get to somewhat know you or feel comfy. Its not easy, like so many other things.

[MightyPen 67414]

Balance of risks and benefits by both players. As I said earlier, no demand equals no supply. The market determines the rest.

"The market" produces sweatshops, child labour, and kiddie porn. "The market" will blithely chart the point where those who want it can even get bbfs. "The market" says nothing about whether its outcome is good or laudable, it just plots all those points where anything that's desired finally gets close enough to shake hands with someone else's willingness to provide it.

 

That willingness might be coaxed by more cash, or simply extracted by the provider's desperation at some particular moment. Pay enough, or find someone desperate enough, and sure... "the market" will eventually provide just about anything you can think of, no matter how bad an idea it is for one or both parties.

 

Despite the thread we're in, I make this point not to condemn bbbj; I just have no patience for the idea that "the market" is an unquestionable arbiter of desirable outcomes, and that its workings are good for all participants. When your alternative is starvation or eviction for you and your family, you can just barely be described as a free and willing participant in the market for a service you then provide.

 

It's not always civilized to let "the market" take its course. Human values often require intervention, and at least some regulation.

 

Each provider offers what she feels appropriate, each consumer goes after what he wants. There are risks, you just need I be honest with that and not force people into places they don't want to be.

 

This glosses too breezily over what factors might play into what a provider decides is "appropriate". Several admirable and insightful SPs in the last couple of days have stated clearly that they push the line to a place they're not entirely happy with, because that's what it takes to secure clients in "the market". And only an untalented SP, having already made her decision, will let you know during an appointment that yes, the market has forced her into a place she doesn't want to be.

 

We are fortunate to live in a relatively clean society where you can often get away with BBanything without consequence. Is that good or bad? I'm not sure.

I'm troubled by this sentence, but maybe you mistyped. Did you really have BBFS in mind here too?

[piano8950 32577]

Gentlemen are you happy with cbj? Ladies how many of you feel forced to provide bbbj, due to the demands of the business.

 

Seeing how this thread has gotten quite out of topic from this question, and that I have no real input on the economics of the business, I'll address Peachy's question.

 

Firstly, at the time I wrote this response, 16 SPs responded that they were feeling pressured to provide bbbj. That's over half, and that's really disturbing.

 

Truthfully, between cbj and bbbj, I much prefer bbbj. To clarify, I would never ever in my life complain about getting a cbj from a girl if that was it. Just that in the bedroom there are many things that I'd prefer to do if bbbj was of the table.

 

The only thing I'm going to take away from this thread is that the next time I see an SP who offers bbbj, I'll try to explain the best way I can that the decision is completely hers. I can't change the industry, but I don't want to be the reason for that pressure.

[sprinter29 120]

Although I like BBBJ but it has never been a preference for me. The quality time spent with the companion matters most to me.

[PhantomKnight 7914]

I would much rather get a BBBJ than a CBJ. It would not stop me from seeing a provide however. If the provider meets what I'm looking for she could cover it up twice for all I care!!! :)

[Tsukiyo_Chevalier 3242]

I have not been doing this hobby very long but i have to say first that no woman of any occupation should ever be forced to do something she does not want to. also i think that every sp should alway do cbj. in this day and age with so many viruses out there people both men and woman should do all they can to stop the spread of them. and as a man i know that this is going to hurt me but i think that men are more of the problem. i for one have never and will never get a bbbj not only for my health but i could never forgive myself if i caught something and then gave it to someone else. i know far to many people who just do not care or think they are invincible and that it won't happen to them, and most of them are male but there are females as well. but it only takes one time and your life is over and it could then effect everyone around you and you could give it to others and make there life over as well. to me that is the same as a death sentence if it is a serious disease and never worth the risk. I will always go to 100%safe gfe and to me if it is a gfe you are looking for than in my opinion you have to be the perfect boyfriend as well and i would not put any girlfriend of mine weather she is my GF for 1 years or for 1 hour in that kind of risk. this is only my opinion and whatever anyone does is there life just make sure that you think of others. and if you want the bbbj find someone to spend the rest of your life with.

 

Peachy, All i want is for everyone to stay safe but nobody should tell you how or what to do with your life . you are the only one who should and I can only give my thoughts but to answer your question i would always take a CBJ and i would just be happy with the time together not in what is or in not offered, that is a GFE. Have a nice day and talk to you later

[Holy Crapper 292]

"The market" produces sweatshops, child labour, and kiddie porn...

 

Despite the thread we're in, I make this point not to condemn bbbj; I just have no patience for the idea that "the market" is an unquestionable arbiter of desirable outcomes, and that its workings are good for all participants....

 

It's not always civilized to let "the market" take its course. Human values often require intervention, and at least some regulation.

 

Don't take my statements to mean the market makes the right or ethical decision. If it did, would I be using my iPhone today? (another topic, another day). The market only has the values that those in it want to stand up for. It's up to people within the market to make the right decision for them and for groups to condemn and oppose factors within said market that are wrong/illegal/immoral/etc.

 

I'm troubled by this sentence, but maybe you mistyped. Did you really have BBFS in mind here too?

 

I meant BBanything. The risks have been mentioned and argued about by others in this thread. We are lucky that it is acceptable to use birth control here. We are lucky in Canada to have extremely low, but not 0, rates of HIV and we have fairly low rates of STIs. If you're worried about STIs it's easy to walk in to your local ER, get antibiotics and move on. Is that the case elsewhere? My point is because of these 'benefits' of where we live we're having this discussion. Would those who want BBFS or BBBJ here do the same on vacation in Thailand or Africa?

[lz_zofo4 693]

Just to jump in on this thread, I much prefer BBBJ, but it is not a deal breaker when I am looking to connect with a lady. Regarding BBBJ or BBFS while on vacation in another continent, I practice safe sex to the extreme since STD's and other communicable diseases tend to be more prevalent than here in Ottawa.

[creamsoda 120]

To each his own.

 

I can understand ladies not wanting to provide the service and I respect that decision.

 

I can also understand gentlemen who prefer the "full experience", if you will.