Negotiating

[LeeRichards 177238]

Ya I suck at negotiating. In this game or anything in life. The price I see is the price you get and often a gift as well :) I may have been out of line at times but some ladies I have told they don't charge enough.

 

Megster....I WILL however flip a coin or play birds in the bush....best of three .....to see who chases who around the room ;)

[explorer69 3513]

Women of CERB: You are preaching to the choir. However many of your competitors on BP, as well as some members of CERB will negotiate their rate depending on how busy they are.It is an industry norm.Even many agencies will reduce their fee on occasion.Just look how many ads there are on CERB advertising "specials". If I have seen that you have advertised a special, I will ask if it is still available. What is the harm in that?

Instead of being insulted just good naturally reply " Not today, but I'll let you know if i ever have a special for new clients" or "hah ha good try, but I''ll give you the time of your life for my regular rate". If you get insulted and respond accordingly you will turn potential clients off. These potential clients could be "cash cows" in the future.

Most people that I know who are self employed, have varying rates depending on how busy they are and whether they want to attract potential clients.

Some of my regulars i have met through a discounted rate. They were so good that I was quite prepared to pay "full freight" on repeat visits.

[Fresh start 17467]

I know people that will negotiate all services. What I find amusing is they feel that they got a "deal" to begin with and then complain when they didn't get all that they wanted or needed. Negotiating multi-hour rates like a court case or a custom built house is one thing, taking 5-10% off $100 000 still leaves a viable cash flow and small excess can be trimmed where needed to accommodate the discount. Asking me to take a 40% pay cut on my fee that has not increased in 9 years for a luxury service is simply arrogant and insulting. Pussy is not a poor mans hobby and if a man needs a discount because he genuinely doesn't have it in his pocket then he should realize that he genuinely CAN'T AFFORD to be hobbying and needs to get his financial house in order...

 

cat

 

Well if your going to take a 40% pay cut you should provide 40% less service. Since sex usually requires 2 people, for argument sake lets say its a 50/50 act. Now since you take away 40% leaving 10% left out of your share of 50%. You could alway seduce the gentleman and undress him then leave him and his little friend high and dry. I think that take care of 10% don't you. Now if this happen frequently you could always invest in a blow up doll and leave the gentleman to his thing. Roflmao

When asked wtf, well your response can be your donation covered my expense first leaving you with this much service left. Haha

[Gabriella Laurence 301886]

... However many of your competitors on BP, as well as some members of CERB will negotiate their rate depending on how busy they are.It is an industry norm.

I wonder how much pressure is put on the provider when she agrees to negotiate and accepts the low ball offer...

 

Negotiating for this kind of intimate experience is a real turn off for the provider (at least for me, my lady friends and many others) no matter how you look at it. If you can't afford her donation or you find it to high for your liking, it is simple, move on to the next lady who offers a rate you are comfortable paying. Fortunately, the majority of the gentlemen are very respectful and understand what kind of "service" they are receiving and because of that, they do not try to low ball the ladies.

 

(I used "you" but it is not directed at you, explorer69)

 

Even many agencies will reduce their fee on occasion.Just look how many ads there are on CERB advertising "specials". If I have seen that you have advertised a special, I will ask if it is still available. What is the harm in that?

Instead of being insulted just good naturally reply " Not today, but I'll let you know if i ever have a special for new clients" or "hah ha good try, but I''ll give you the time of your life for my regular rate". If you get insulted and respond accordingly you will turn potential clients off. These potential clients could be "cash cows" in the future.

Most people that I know who are self employed, have varying rates depending on how busy they are and whether they want to attract potential clients.

Some of my regulars i have met through a discounted rate. They were so good that I was quite prepared to pay "full freight" on repeat visits.

 

It is one thing when a lady (or agency) OFFERS a special and quite another when a client/potential client tries to negotiate and asks for a reduced rate ;)

[Irina Adler 5376]

Funniest thing is when someone texts me (never CERB members, I assume) and asks to barter for my services. Ex. "I'm broke but I'll give you this laptop and it's worth like $100". Not sure if the boss would like half a laptop as a door fee ;)

 

I especially dislike it when clients are told the fee upfront, but knowing I collect at the end, wait to stiff me until we are done. It puts me in a bad mood because I do my best in the session and feel disappointed when the client knowingly accepts services he is unable to pay for.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If I may put my nickel' worth in here...

 

I really wish people would stop comparing women to tires, McDonalds, cars and the list goes on. We are human beings and offering an intimate service. While we do have a list of services we offer, we are not a drive thru where you have it your way. And as Meg said, this is a luxury service. Not something that is a necessity in life like a roof over your head or food to put on the table. Seeing an SP is a privelege, not a right.

 

It becomes very disconcerting that people think of humans this way no matter what one's view on prostitution is. At the end of the day, we are PEOPLE with feelings and emotions. If we were robots, I don't think negotiating would be a problem because the service would be mechanical and the entire experience that men seek out which is intimacy would be a moot point because there would be none.

 

If you want a menchanical experience, there are lot of ads out there that offer $80-$100 experience but remember you get what you pay for. And if one thinks they're going to get the whole nine yards, you are in for a big disappointment. They can advertise the best experience all they want but for that amount they will do the minimal required and that will be it. There will be no established connection, none of the extras that a higher end SP will offer but again if that's what a hobbyist wants, then there is a market for it with lots of supply and demand. Enjoy!

[piano8950 32577]

To the ladies that have responded, how often do you deal with negotiators?

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

To the ladies that have responded, how often do you deal with negotiators?

 

It seems to come in waves, none for weeks and then 5 in a day.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

If I may put my nickel' worth in here...

 

I really wish people would stop comparing women to tires, McDonalds, cars and the list goes on. We are human beings and offering an intimate service. While we do have a list of services we offer, we are not a drive thru where you have it your way. And as Meg said, this is a luxury service. Not something that is a necessity in life like a roof over your head or food to put on the table. Seeing an SP is a privelege, not a right.

 

It becomes very disconcerting that people think of humans this way no matter what one's view on prostitution is. At the end of the day, we are PEOPLE with feelings and emotions. If we were robots, I don't think negotiating would be a problem because the service would be mechanical and the entire experience that men seek out which is intimacy would be a moot point because there would be none.

 

If you want a menchanical experience, there are lot of ads out there that offer $80-$100 experience but remember you get what you pay for. And if one thinks they're going to get the whole nine yards, you are in for a big disappointment. They can advertise the best experience all they want but for that amount they will do the minimal required and that will be it. There will be no established connection, none of the extras that a higher end SP will offer but again if that's what a hobbyist wants, then there is a market for it with lots of supply and demand. Enjoy!

 

I agree with the sentiment that we should not objectify people, whether women in this industry or not but perhaps the delivery could have been done without the final paragraph.

To put down those with a lower rate than yourself, to say that you get what you pay for implies that there is a hierarchy based on rate in this industry when in fact I don't agree with that. We all offer different services, model our businesses differently and service different areas of the market. There is a market for the $80-100 ladies and yes some of those ladies may not offer great service but then some ladies that have rates much higher than mine also are not "gems". To say that price is the determining factor means that I am about twice as good as you and I don't believe anyone can say that. We simply target a different clientele and have a different business model, we may appeal to different people as well but there may be some overlap, of that I am not entirely sure as I am not in Ottawa that often.

I think it's important for everyone to realise though that there is a market for everyone has a role. Some of these ladies are likely not happy in their present situation but that can happen in any market. I know ladies that do not enjoy the longer dinner dates and travel that I prefer, they like to focus on the shorter 1hr engagements. I myself will not offer those as I do not enjoy them. It doesn't make any one of us better or worse, and definitely does not guarantee you are a better companion than anyone else in the eyes of your client. What makes you a better business woman is when you recognize what works best for you and work within your comfort zone, clients appreciate someone that is happy offering a service they enjoy and from my understanding that is what you do. Perhaps some of the ladies that offer shorter dates or have a profit model that is based on higher volume are also content in their situation and I don't think it's right for us to put them down for that.

 

 

**** end of my little detour ****

 

As to the topic...

 

Personally I don't get a lot of the negotiating requests, when I do I stop to re-evaluate where I am marketing and my ad content. I can ignore one or two emails about my consideration but more than that means I am somehow failing in my communication and I need to be more effective.

As an example recently I decided to post on a new advertising board and had several people contact me about my "one hour rate" or perhaps "I'll contact you again in a week when you drop your rates, you must be new." I was in a city I had visited several times so I wasn't at all concerned about it, the only new factor was the new board I had advertised on but all the additional emails about the rates were a make work situation for my assistant so I was able to determine quite quickly this was not a place I would be advertising in the future and in fact I deleted the ad early as I didn't want her to be wasting time answering these inquiries. It wasn't the fault of the potential client but rather I wasn't reaching out to my market.

[piano8950 32577]

To put down those with a lower rate than yourself, to say that you get what you pay for implies that there is a hierarchy based on rate in this industry when in fact I don't agree with that. We all offer different services, model our businesses differently and service different areas of the market. There is a market for the $80-100 ladies and yes some of those ladies may not offer great service but then some ladies that have rates much higher than mine also are not "gems". To say that price is the determining factor means that I am about twice as good as you and I don't believe anyone can say that.

 

I'm glad this was brought up. I started to feel a little uneasy when rates are used in a sense to form a judgement.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I agree with the sentiment that we should not objectify people, whether women in this industry or not but perhaps the delivery could have been done without the final paragraph.

To put down those with a lower rate than yourself, to say that you get what you pay for implies that there is a hierarchy based on rate in this industry when in fact I don't agree with that. We all offer different services, model our businesses differently and service different areas of the market. There is a market for the $80-100 ladies and yes some of those ladies may not offer great service but then some ladies that have rates much higher than mine also are not "gems". To say that price is the determining factor means that I am about twice as good as you and I don't believe anyone can say that. We simply target a different clientele and have a different business model, we may appeal to different people as well but there may be some overlap, of that I am not entirely sure as I am not in Ottawa that often.

I think it's important for everyone to realise though that there is a market for everyone has a role. Some of these ladies are likely not happy in their present situation but that can happen in any market. I know ladies that do not enjoy the longer dinner dates and travel that I prefer, they like to focus on the shorter 1hr engagements. I myself will not offer those as I do not enjoy them. It doesn't make any one of us better or worse, and definitely does not guarantee you are a better companion than anyone else in the eyes of your client. What makes you a better business woman is when you recognize what works best for you and work within your comfort zone, clients appreciate someone that is happy offering a service they enjoy and from my understanding that is what you do. Perhaps some of the ladies that offer shorter dates or have a profit model that is based on higher volume are also content in their situation and I don't think it's right for us to put them down for that.

 

 

**** end of my little detour ****

 

.

 

Perhaps I should have been a bit more clearer in my last paragraph. I was referring more to those who advertise the "best" experience promising all sorts of things but not delivering. Offering the "best experience" is very subjective. To one offering it and the person on the receving end could interpret that as something entirely different and often times too good to be true.

 

Yes, you are correct in the fact that I should not have listed specific rates. However, these specific rates are those that have been troublesome to those classified sites that promise the world but are either fly by nights, bait and switch or scam artists. This isn't speculation, this is a fact and you can read this in a certain blog that a certain member operates.

 

By no means was I forming judgements against SPs who charge lower rates as there are SPs whose rates are higher than mine and vice versa. I don't pretend to be in a higher echelon than anyone else and I certainly don't judge those that quote higher rates. An SP's rates are very personal but if someone is asking a lower rate promising all sorts of things, one should be able to read between the lines but then again, others don't and that's where they get scammed. Bottom line, you get what you pay for and this isn't a matter of being judgemental. When an customer buys into that, there is some sort of guarantee that they will be disappointed. Again, you get what you pay for.

[craig101 3213]

If I may put my nickel' worth in here...

 

I really wish people would stop comparing women to tires, McDonalds, cars and the list goes on. We are human beings and offering an intimate service. While we do have a list of services we offer, we are not a drive thru where you have it your way. And as Meg said, this is a luxury service. Not something that is a necessity in life like a roof over your head or food to put on the table. Seeing an SP is a privelege, not a right.

 

It becomes very disconcerting that people think of humans this way no matter what one's view on prostitution is. At the end of the day, we are PEOPLE with feelings and emotions. If we were robots, I don't think negotiating would be a problem because the service would be mechanical and the entire experience that men seek out which is intimacy would be a moot point because there would be none.

 

If you want a menchanical experience, there are lot of ads out there that offer $80-$100 experience but remember you get what you pay for. And if one thinks they're going to get the whole nine yards, you are in for a big disappointment. They can advertise the best experience all they want but for that amount they will do the minimal required and that will be it. There will be no established connection, none of the extras that a higher end SP will offer but again if that's what a hobbyist wants, then there is a market for it with lots of supply and demand. Enjoy!

 

Nobody is comparing the ladies here to MacDonalds. You are all beautiful special ladies. In fact I am rather smitten with a few of you. Would marry a bunch of you in a heartbeat! But the business comparison is valid. Just because escorting is more intimate then other businesses doesn't make it exempt to business rules and elevate itself to a higher standard then other professions.

You are not " objects" but the business principle is the same. Its a service albeit a much more intimate service.

 

A better example is a house. You can love the house. Think its perfect. Value it and still politely offer less than the asking price. Asking for less in know way insults what you think of the house.

 

I'm not saying negotiating is right or wrong or recommending it. I just question the opening statement that NEGOTIATING IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

It is debatable.

[Guest ***nno**n***]

My $0.02

 

Ok so someone has asked for a discounted rate or wants to negotiate a lower rate.

 

The lady says no I'm sorry my rate is my rate and there is no discount, no bartering.

 

I think the point here for you gentlemen to understand is this is NOT where the conversation ends. This continues on and on in every piece of correspondence with certain men which for me pisses me off to no end and then I simply will not respond anymore.

 

They seem to think that you turned down a barter offer so then they will say "If you will see me for 1/3 of your normal rate I'll see you 3x a month" response is NO, so then they try another approach, "well how about I'll see you when you are not busy at the discounted rate" at this point I'm tired of hearing whatever this person has to say.

 

They seem to think 'no" means try something else.

 

If someone asked if I have "specials" (which I never have or will) I would simply say no, give them my rate information and continue with no issues.

 

The men who ask this though aren't the ones who say ok and move on. They are the annoying little cretin's who don't leave you alone because they seem to think I'm too dumb to understand that they want everything for $20.

 

As someone else put it this is very much a luxury service. If you want to compare it to something, compare it to going to a spa, you pay full price, if you enjoy the service you tip.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Nobody is comparing the ladies here to MacDonalds. You are all beautiful special ladies. In fact I am rather smitten with a few of you. Would marry a bunch of you in a heartbeat! But the business comparison is valid. Just because escorting is more intimate then other businesses doesn't make it exempt to business rules and elevate itself to a higher standard then other professions.

You are not " objects" but the business principle is the same. Its a service albeit a much more intimate service.

 

A better example is a house. You can love the house. Think its perfect. Value it and still politely offer less than the asking price. Asking for less in know way insults what you think of the house.

 

I'm not saying negotiating is right or wrong or recommending it. I just question the opening statement that NEGOTIATING IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

It is debatable.

 

Enough of comparing SPs to inanimate objects like a house or a car. We are not a product! We are a person offering a service and no we are still not a product even if we are advertising ourselves if you really want to argue semantics. Technically we are not offering ourselves per say but a service. Do you negotiate with your lawyer accountant or RMT? If I wanted cosmetic surgery, would I go to a doctor who specializes in that and ask for a discount? Hell no! I wouldn't dare insult these professionals.

 

It can be agreed upon that negotiating is acceptable when buying a house, a car or even tires but not when it comes to a person offering such an intimate service. Many men get offended if the SP is all business during an encounter but at the same time have no problem asking her "Can you do this for x amount?"

 

As for business principles, there are universal codes of conduct that SPs all over the world follow. Many of these would include discretion and safety. We do not come with written guarantees and we also don't have to adhere to certain rules of business practices. However, good SPs will be ethically correct as in any other business but no where is it written in stone that an SP has to be open to negotiate at all.

 

There are no written rules for this which makes it a business unlike any other. Until prostitution is legalized, SPs are free to make their own rules. Some make correct decisions, others unfortunately don't.

 

At the end of the day, no means no and someone shouldn't push the boundaries with negotiating just as they would attempt to do with trying to receive certain services that an SP doesn't offer. If she says her rates are non-negotiable and she even clarifies this to the customer via email, text or phone then it's time to move on regardless of whether or not what one's view is on negotiating. In other businesses, a man doesn't have to be a gentleman. When you're dealing with SPs, it is best to do so.

[craig101 3213]

Enough of comparing SPs to inanimate objects like a house or a car. We are not a product! We are a person offering a service and no we are still not a product even if we are advertising ourselves if you really want to argue semantics. Technically we are not offering ourselves per say but a service. Do you negotiate with your lawyer accountant or RMT? If I wanted cosmetic surgery, would I go to a doctor who specializes in that and ask for a discount? Hell no! I wouldn't dare insult these professionals.

 

It can be agreed upon that negotiating is acceptable when buying a house, a car or even tires but not when it comes to a person offering such an intimate service. Many men get offended if the SP is all business during an encounter but at the same time have no problem asking her "Can you do this for x amount?"

 

As for business principles, there are universal codes of conduct that SPs all over the world follow. Many of these would include discretion and safety. We do not come with written guarantees and we also don't have to adhere to certain rules of business practices. However, good SPs will be ethically correct as in any other business but no where is it written in stone that an SP has to be open to negotiate at all.

 

There are no written rules for this which makes it a business unlike any other. Until prostitution is legalized, SPs are free to make their own rules. Some make correct decisions, others unfortunately don't.

 

At the end of the day, no means no and someone shouldn't push the boundaries with negotiating just as they would attempt to do with trying to receive certain services that an SP doesn't offer. If she says her rates are non-negotiable and she even clarifies this to the customer via email, text or phone then it's time to move on regardless of whether or not what one's view is on negotiating. In other businesses, a man doesn't have to be a gentleman. When you're dealing with SPs, it is best to do so.

 

Where do I begin... You argued against things I never said. I never said that anyone should be forced to negotiate.

Do you negotiate with a lawyer? YES YES YES and let me think about it some more... YES YES. When I was suing a company my lawyer and I had to negotiate the percentage he was going to get of the winnings. It went back and forth till we came to a resolution.

Also if a SP says rates are non negotiable that ends the conversation. There should always be respect.

 

If a gentleman politely asks once for a rate I don't think its a faux pas on his part.

Heck people even negotiate with God. lol God if you do this for me I promise to.....

[eagertopleaze 2366]

There is one main reason people try to negotiate or barter with the ladies here on Cerb... Because there are ladies here who ARE willing to make deals or offer specials.

 

There may not be a lot, but there definitely are some, and that means there's a chance.

 

Like some have pointed out, when business is slow, some people make decisions to offer specials. Spas often have Door specials, some ladies offer 90 minutes for the price of 60 etc... So guys often see specials and probably figure, why not ask...

 

All I am saying is that I think many of the ladies would be very surprised to find out how many of their fellow Cerbites are willing to negotiate.

[The General 11309]

It's a fine line, and one that sometimes get blurred. We know that many of the ladies have over a long period of time, made it clear that their rates are non-negotiable, and I certainly have no problem with that.

 

However, is it surprising or shocking that people try to negotiate regards? It shouldn't be. I can think of some good examples that might cause confusion. One being is that a lady offers a special today, and tomorrow, when it is not offered, it is asked for. "I couldn't make it yesterday, but are you still offering the same deal today?".

 

Anyway, I respect the ladies' decisions to say their rates are non-negotiable, but at the same time, I understand why they are getting asked to consider otherwise. If you aren't prepared to negotiate, it should be easy to respond to those question, just tell them your rates are your rates. If that doesn't stop them, now to me that is when they have clearly crossed the line and should have moved on.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Where do I begin... You argued against things I never said. I never said that anyone should be forced to negotiate.

Do you negotiate with a lawyer? YES YES YES and let me think about it some more... YES YES. When I was suing a company my lawyer and I had to negotiate the percentage he was going to get of the winnings. It went back and forth till we came to a resolution.

Also if a SP says rates are non negotiable that ends the conversation. There should always be respect.

 

If a gentleman politely asks once for a rate I don't think its a faux pas on his part.

Heck people even negotiate with God. lol God if you do this for me I promise to.....

 

I quoted your post in response to comparing women to inanimate objects. My post was not entirely directed towards you. It was a general reply to the masses here. Thankfully, I'm glad to say that the majority of men on Cerb do not try to negotiate with me and these posts do not even apply to them.

 

If an SP lists that her rates are non-negotiable as I see that many are listing that these days, a potential customer should NOT even be asking. Then again, some people fail to read the entire ad and some just try anyways.

 

Let's not even bring God into this.....this does not apply.

 

As for ladies offering specials, that's their business but not all of us do. Just because one SP does, doesn't mean it's automatically okay to ask or assume that another SP does. All of this can be found in reading ads and websites and the problem is some people just don't bother to read. Many SPs receives questions from potential customers asking what their rates are or where they are located when all of it is listed on the same site such as Cerb where they are contacting the SP. Really, is that asking too much?

[craig101 3213]

Thought this might be interesting.

 

 

Escort agency

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

Escort agencies are companies that provide escorts for the agency's clients. The agency typically arranges a meeting between one of its escorts and the client at the customer's house or hotel room (outcall), or at the escort's residence (incall). Some agencies also provide escorts for longer durations, who may stay with the client or travel along on a holiday or business trip.[1] While the escort agency is paid a fee for this booking and dispatch service, the customer must negotiate any additional fees or arrangements directly with the escort for any other services that are not provided by the agency involved, such as providing sexual services (regardless of the legality of these services).

[nntsci 11075]

As a client, I've never tried to bargain. I base my selection of an SP in part on the price and accept whatever is listed. I have provided tips, especially if I've asked the gal for a special favour (e.g., if she could wear the outfit shown in her photo).

 

But then I never bargain about anything really. Its something I inherited from my English father who absolutely hated haggling. On the other hand, my wife is from a culture that expects haggling as part of business. (I promise not to ask her to book an SP for me, LOL).

 

I wonder if you gals have any thoughts about if the negotiation problem is related to cultural differences?

 

Additional Comments:

Thought this might be interesting.

 

 

Escort agency

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

Escort agencies are companies that provide escorts for the agency's clients. The agency typically arranges a meeting between one of its escorts and the client at the customer's house or hotel room (outcall), or at the escort's residence (incall). Some agencies also provide escorts for longer durations, who may stay with the client or travel along on a holiday or business trip.[1] While the escort agency is paid a fee for this booking and dispatch service, the customer must negotiate any additional fees or arrangements directly with the escort for any other services that are not provided by the agency involved, such as providing sexual services (regardless of the legality of these services).

 

Wikipedia is written by its users and anyone can open an account and correct errors. Perhaps one of your gals should go in and correct this little bit of misinformation.

[jeremydark 302]

Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I can't believe that actually happens. I can't believe that guys think it will actually get them anywhere.

[Guest ***nno**n***]

I think as a new person there is a definite question if I refuse this person how will they damage my business as they take the word no personally.

 

I have definitely run into this more times than i care to say and I think it says a lot to the character of men who are bullying and demanding these outrageous "discounts or bargains" or else.

 

All I can say is do whatever you think you need to because as Emily J has so eloquently put it, we're not inanimate objects, we're not McDonald's. The women who have respect for themselves will not stoop to their level. We retain our class and move on. We also do not have walmart smiley faces above our heads! i can't remember who said it but love the comparison.

 

I expect to have some negative feedback floating around anytime soon because I have refused "offers" for less than I have advertised.

 

If I am to be treated like I'm something that can be "bartered" you men are in for a rude awakening, and I am talking about some long time CERB members.

 

Being new, doesnt mean being naive.

I think I'm up to $0.05 now lol.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I've been in this business for quite awhile. I wouldn't have stayed in it if I wasn't able to make a living and support my loved ones without doing irreparable, deep harm to myself. In the beginning, it was touch-and-go, so to speak. But I was new, had plenty to learn and the only thing that mattered to me initially was that I needed to earn a lot of money as quickly as possible. I was subjected to enormous pressure over the low fees I was charging, even then. Some people will try to bully, pressure or negotiate the fee, no matter how low it is to begin with.

 

When I raised my rates the first time, I felt as though I was taking my children's lives in my hands. I was completely astonished to find that I had no trouble finding worthwhile clients who didn't question my quoted fees. Not only that, but they were generally a lot easier to deal with. I decided that was because they were making a clear decision to spend their money with me, whereas at the beginning I was attracting clients for whom the low fee wasn't really an issue to begin with.

 

The next time I raised my rates, I was hesitant but not as anxious as I had been before. I wanted to see fewer people and was willing to put the effort into attracting them and then into encouraging them to return for another visit. Again, there were good clients out there who didn't question my fees. There were some who were dismissive or combative, but by that point I didn't care what they thought. I was earning what I needed to earn and I was seeing people I enjoyed. As far as I'm concerned that's the definition of near-perfection.

 

I still receive occasional e-mail from men who think that insulting me may help convince me to see them. I've been told that I have an undeserved opinion of myself, that only a 23-year old woman who looks like a Barbie doll is worth what I charge, that in these "tough economic times" I have an obligation to lower my fees because the inquirer is having a hard time meeting his expenses and that no one really wants to pay so much for someone who's been "used" by many others before him.

 

I've become an expert at pressing the "delete" key quickly.

 

I'm fortunate not to need to advertise very often. I turn away far more people than I engage with because I don't have to make time for people who don't interest me. I'm thankful that I can afford to see the gentlemen I want to see.

 

If you can't afford my fees, that's a shame. It's not my problem, though. If you're impatient to see me and don't want to wait until you can afford to spend time with me, I understand. Healthy adults have learned to delay gratification so I'm sure you'll manage somehow. If you decide that, instead of seeing me, you'll see someone whose fees are lower than mine, that's your choice. It doesn't actually have anything to do with me.

 

That's really what it comes down to. What you can afford to pay is about you, not me. It's not my problem and it's not something I will take on. You can't afford my time, but others can.

[khan69 100]

agree, not neg.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I have to say, I'm always somewhat dubious about the merits of negotiation with someone who's providing a service. If I can get something off a shelf for a bit less, that's great, but services aren't like that.

 

Really, think about it for a moment. If you haggle with someone and pay less for their services, do you honestly imagine that you're getting the same service as you'd have got if you'd paid their asking price? That they won't cut corners, or use cheaper materials, or pay less attention to detail, or spend a little less time making sure they give you the best possible service, or go the extra mile before they just think, "Stuff it, that's good enough for this guy"?

 

This applies to all service industries, not just the one we're concerned with on this board. But given the very personal nature of the services we're engaged in here... I think it applies more here than to some others.