What does "Open Minded" mean to you

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I never use this term in my advertising, for one reason - without fail, when a man texts me and asks if I'm open-minded, his follow-up question is if I offer BBFS. I am serious in this, without fail.

 

So I hate this term, and will never, ever use it in my advertising. I am not saying that girls who use this term offer that service, I am NOT saying that at all - but just that to me personally, the term makes me get my back up and I don't like it.

 

I guess my post is mostly a tip to the gents, lol - I would refrain from asking a girl if she is open-minded. If you want something specific, just ask - I think most girls in this business ARE open-minded enough to listen to your request and answer without judgement.

 

So interesting how people think in different cities, I am known for being open minded but only once was I ever asked for BBFS. I do advertise as open minded and a fantasy granter. Almost all my requests that some would consider "out of the norm " are mostly role play that hurts no one and can really be a lot of fun.

 

I am not sure if geography, big cities or many more providers per capita brings out the rudeness and Gaul, lol perhaps a study someday is in order.

[EvaAdore 7767]

I am not sure if geography, big cities or many more providers per capita brings out the rudeness and Gaul, lol perhaps a study someday is in order.

 

+ a million points for usage of the word "gaul" in a post. lol nicely done!

 

I agree that they should do a study - I grew up in the country, and when I moved to the city I was surprised at how rude and cold people could be... people out in the sticks aren't generally like that, in my experience.

[someguy 67067]

so now what is meant by Really Open Minded?

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Interesting thread.

 

I have been "open minded" my whole life. So it came with me when I became an SP.

 

But after reading the responses, it almost seems like its a bad word. For me it is not.

 

I have frequently used this term to describe myself but it certainly never meant BBFS. Of course not. Nor have I ever had a Client think that I meant BBFS (that'll get you kicked to the curb pdq).

 

So I guess it's a relative term for folks.

 

Princeton defines this as a person ready to entertain new ideas, "an open-minded curiosity"; "open-minded impartiality".

 

How did this get mangled into something else? I use this to indicate myself as a person who plays a little more on the alternative/kinky side besides the GFE.

 

These are pigeon holed terms and while ymmv they still have a general meaning regardless of what spin one puts on them. They are what they are.

[MightyPen 67414]

These are pigeon holed terms and while ymmv they still have a general meaning regardless of what spin one puts on them. They are what they are.

You know, like you Chanel I thought it was a sort of standard industry term that promised the advertiser had a kinky side. But after reading this thread I see that the term means many things, and sometimes nothing, and only some of its meanings are what they were.

 

Still, I think "open-minded" remains a valuable phrase in your advertising to reassure the kinky among us that you're receptive to playing off in those special corners of the sexual map. For those clients who take it another way... well, you can sort them out when the time comes.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

So if this is the case, just what term would one use to indicate what it's original intent is? Have I sold myself short? Misrepresented myself?

 

This is deffo a head scratcher now. lol

[sparhawk 4169]

Being Open Minded is a subjective term that is often over used and misinterpreted by many.

When the term Open Minded is used in an ad or on a website, I interpret it to mean that she is open to answering questions and to an open discussion. For example-If I see that she states that she offers roleplay and is Open Minded then I believe she would be open to a discussion about what kind of roleplay you might enjoy without being judgmental. For some it could mean they are open to trying new things, new positions, meeting new people. Everyone has their own unique definition of the phrase Open Minded. The only way to know what a lady's own particular definition of the phrase Open Minded is to ask them. If you don't ask then you could potentially miss out on an enjoyable encounter. Each encounter is different and YMMV.

[cometman 35115]

I honestly don't know how to predict some of these terms. What I do know is that if you're a nice guy and treat the ladies with GENUINE respect, there's a good chance that respect will be reciprocated. To me, that's where the whole GFE comes in. If one takes the time to get to know someone, there's a whole new comfort zone established. Don't get me wrong.......there are definite boundaries, but simply from interactions and observations on this forum, I get a pretty good feeling who I might "connect" with. I once had a lady tell me "I love you as much as I can". To me, that's Mt. Everest....the peak. If I'm comfortable and she's comfortable, that's all the open minded I need. We'll discover the boundaries as they're approached. If a complete stranger assures me that she's open minded, I realize that we still have a lot of learning to do. I'm okay with that- for an hour- but for a repeat visit, I'd have to genuinely like her. Fortunately, I like a lot of people that like me.

[someguy 67067]

Any more opinions on what "Open Minded" means and "Really open minded" means especially from the SP/MA point of view?

[Guest D***el B***e]

I thought open-minded meant the lady is open to minding my business ... sorry couldn't resist! lol

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I thought open-minded meant the lady is open to minding my business ... sorry couldn't resist! lol

 

 

 

 

You are bad, some day soon you will find out all this first hand!!!

[peacectryguy 12525]

It seems to me as I read through this thread that the term was meant by SP's to be just a phrase to advertise they are willing to "entertain" unusual requests but because certain people in our society are fucked up in the head, they can't figure out that there is a line we should not cross. I don't know if SP's need to stop using the term because of a few bad apples. It seems kind of a shame that you have to rethink everything you do because of what amounts to stupidity on some peoples part.

 

Of course, for me, the term may be akin to being absent minded, I don't know. I'm open-minded because there is a big "open" void of dead brain cells from the 70's up there.:tongue:

[Ice4fun 78396]

I may be off base but when I read that in an ad or on a website I gave just assumed it meant that while the lady has outlined her general range of services she is open to some discussion with clients.... now having said that one has to be reasonable in how far they take that if a lady says "I only play safe" I would not read open minded to mean maybe BBFS is a possibility.

 

Just my opinion.

[peacectryguy 12525]

Exactly Ice, she is willing to maybe discuss something off menu but safe means safe. BBFS is not safe, obviously. I can't see that being a hard concept to grasp.

[someguy 67067]

I guess with Bill C36 coming in effect. The term 'Open Minded' will be used more.

Since they cannot advertise services anymore. This maybe use to cover meaning most services plus more?

[Guest K***e D****ls]

There is certain wording that alludes to certain unsavoury activity and is code in different circles for that. Any time I read it I think 'Whooooooa'. Maybe it's accidental, maybe it's not. But when I read 'open minded', 'ultra girlfriend experience', 'true girlfriend experience', as a lady, it makes me cringe.

[Guest Lep*******1**7]

What great commentary from all of the contributors to this great topic!

 

 

Sexually open-minded

 

"Willing to entertain and explore different techniques and ideas in bed without sacrificing one's own integrity.

 

More than any of the whole two classes on the subject he'd received in school, watching late-night Cine-Max every now and then inspired John to be sexually open minded."

 

Source: Urban Dictionary

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Open minded means YMMV. Often offered in 1h+ sessions, it means that we may try new things, things you don't usually do with and SP. It can go from special treatment to games, to special request. I just don't kiss and tell since... YMMV!

[someguy 67067]

Some girls used Open-Minded as a catch all phrase.

Or just to get your attention to their ad's.

When you get there, then you find out all their restrictions lol.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

When I first started doing this, I would get the question 'are you open-minded?'. I would say yes (for all the reasons the ladies here said) and I even started putting it in ad because I was asked so often.

 

After a while, when they asked that question, I would say 'i'm doing this aren't I'. And the response would be 'that's not what I mean'.

 

Later still, I learned that open-minded means something totally different. So now I just say 'no' and skip all the hassle. It IS code for something! Now it seems to mean some unsafe offerings so 'no' just about covers it.

 

But when a girl offers it in ad, she may just be doing what i initially did and respond to the many requests. Until she realizes that it is code for something else, she could just be innocent of the actual meaning.

[Monstermash 580]

I am open to suggestions and requests and also open to respectively decline the suggestions and requests! Shared respect for all.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Open minded means YMMV .....I just don't kiss and tell since... YMMV!

 

^ THIS

 

When inevitably asked by clients about my "menu" I remind them that I am a sensual and carnal woman who enjoys her work ... but their attitude, hygiene and level of respect are what really determine how our time goes. I make no promises how our time goes in advance because how am I to know for sure you will not treat me like an object rather than a person, have poor hygiene or are otherwise a turn-off? I don't know, therefor I don't tell.

 

I understand the need for many to know as they are paying a considerable amount of money for a companion's company. However, I decline to discuss proclivities as the real determining factor is not what I enjoy, but whether I enjoy it with a specific partner.

[someguy 67067]

What do you mean if you advertise that you are "Open minded"?

 

And to the Hobbyist? How do you interpret the add if she advertises "Open minded" .

Does this make you more interested in the ad?

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

There have been a number of good answers to this already.

 

The problem with language is that between intention and interpretation there is a wide and boggy middle ground. In using a term like open-minded, a provider might intend to convey that she would be willing to consider a variety of activities, while still retaining the unassailable right to say no to anything she chooses.

 

However, if a general consensus exists among the population of clients that open-minded can be interpreted as an indication that a provider will engage in certain activities (possibly entailing greater risk) then I would suggest it may not be in the provider's interests to continue to use the term, regardless of what she intends it to mean.

 

Language functions by consensus or it ceases to be useful.

 

So the question is whether or not most people think open-minded has become code for "willing to engage in x-y and z".

 

My sense of it is that this is the case. When I see it in an ad or read it in a forum, it seems to be a reference to going beyond the bounds of normal sp activity in terms of risk.

 

And for that reason, I'm wary of the term, and I think a number of providers, like Melanie, don't use it, even though they are, in the conventional sense of the word, open-minded and willing to consider a variety of interests and activities.

 

My nickle.

 

What do you mean if you advertise that you are "Open minded"?

 

And to the Hobbyist? How do you interpret the add if she advertises "Open minded" .

Does this make you more interested in the ad?

[ElissaMarie 4310]

Wolf Knight,

 

With all due respect, isn't this generalizing? It's too bad that you had a situation where the lady's ad was probably misleading but I don't think every single thing written in ads should be ignored, what are ads for then? There are certain things that should be discussed or confirmed as you suggested because everyone's interpretation is different and as such is better to ask a lady what she meant by whatever she wrote, most ladies won't mind explaining.

 

Of course we (providers) use whatever phrase or whole ad to get attention, that's what we advertise for and there's nothing wrong with that, false advertising is wrong but I would say there's a minority of that on Lyla and I may be wrong but in this case I don't think communication would have made a difference, IF the provider you met used false advertising I don't see her admitting to it because you booked in advance and Tom to the time to email her, she would likely keep telling you the things stated in her ad. Maybe as you said the lady you met had a bad day or maybe chemistry wasn't just there, no offence but there's no perfect/fantastic client to everyone just as there's no perfect/fantastic provider to every single gent, and just like everyone has their own definition of open minded every lady has their own definition of a fantastic client so it's the lady and not her guest who will be able to say if he was a perfect client or not.

 

I'm multi-tasking while typing this so I'll come back and check it later in case it needs editing to make any sense, I apologize if it doesn't :icon_redface:

 

 

In my experience "open-minded" just like "GFE" means nothing. In this business many ladies will just use the "phrase of the day" in their ad's to catch a potential clients attention. NEVER make any assumptions in this business about what anything written in ad's mean. Always, communicate directly with the lady and express what you desire from your encounter and confirm that what you desire is what she provides and is comfortable with. If you choose to just take ad's at face value you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

Just as an example, a while ago I visited with a lady, last minute, "spur of the moment" and she advertised as both "GFE and open-minded". When I go there she confirmed after we entered the room that, there was no kissing, no anal play, and the service was completely safe. I could live with that so we continued. It was a completely mechanical, detached, zero eye contact session. In fact she even seemed a little put out that I lasted so long and said, "can you just cum already". LOL.

 

Now I know for a fact that I am a fantastic client with a YMMV factor that is very high but in this case although she advertised as both open-minded and GFE I would classify my mileage factor as very low. Perhaps she was just having a bad day who knows. However, I learned that I'll never do "last minute" spur of the moment again. I'll always want to have ample opportunity to chat with the lady and convey to her what I like to experience in my sessions and have her explicitly confirm that she also enjoys all the same things from a session as I do.

 

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

 

FYI, you might be able to tell but I haven't had my morning coffee yet and I'm still a little short on the trigger.