A penny for your thoughts.....

[Guest]

So this has been on my mind for some reason. Confidence, this is a great thing to have! So here is my question are you an openly confident person or are you a quietly confident person? What the @#$ is Peachy talking about! Openly confident to me would be the people that don't mind telling everyone their talents. A person with quiet confidence knows their talented, doesn't do much talking about their talents and is the one who usually surprises everyone. So what type of confidence do you have, why and how has it worked for you in life?

[marriedbutnotdead 3844]

Great question, I am the quiet type until word gets out. The reason I am like that is because I don't like to be in the spotlight or come across as being cocky. I have been told that no one in Canada can come close to what I do at work and for that I have been rewarded. I don't seek the spotlight but the past few years I have been called up to to share my knowledge and I have also been called to testify as an expert witness. I do not need to promote myself because word of mouth is the best way to go.

[Guest realnicehat]

Hmmmm......can the quietly confident answer this question confidentially and still be quiet? ;)

[Guest]

Thanks M.B.N.D. for your response. I am also a quiet confident person too. I do not like to bring attention to myself and overly talk myself up. I rather let my work do the talking for me and this type of confidence has worked really well for me.

 

I have also seen openly confident people do really well for themselves. Perhaps, I have not mastered this style of confidence, as it's not my style. It seems as though being an openly confident person is an art. It looks as though there is a fine line between confident and cocky. Can some openly confident people explain what they have done to avoid being cocky?

[Luckyme 41401]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

[marriedbutnotdead 3844]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

 

That only works for a short time until those around realize what's going on

[Boomer 33202]

Only openly confident need comment.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

 

Wouldn't that be a narcissist? LOL. I know a few and can't stand being around them. lol.

 

Knowing one's true self is actual confidence and doesn't need to be "put on" so to speak.

[Guest]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

 

 

I'd say acting like you know something when you don't, to look like your confident, is really different than being a confident and able person. I think anyone who has to b.s. around is insecure.

 

Being open and confident when you really do know something or have a talent, can really work to your advantage. However, lying, not so good.

[Luckyme 41401]

I'd say acting like you know something when you don't, to look like your confident, is really different than being a confident and able person. I think anyone who has to b.s. around is insecure.

 

 

 

 

Being open and confident when you really do know something or have a talent, can really work to your advantage. However, lying, not so good.

 

Couldn't agree with you more. While I admire those who are actually talented and appear openly confident, I tend to like and respect those who are talented but who keep a low profile. Perhaps I can identify more with the latter. In the business world however, it is the first type that advances farther in life.

[andflemcol 3975]

You can dazzle them with your brilliance or baffle them with your bull shit. To me, those people appear confident but only one is.

 

I am neither. I do not consider my self to be overly brilliant (I do ok) and I am definitely not a bull shitter (I don't like those people so if I was a bull shitter, I would not like myself).

 

But I do consider myself to be confident in that I know my limitations and am confident enough to admit when I don't know something or when I make a mistake.

 

And that is no BS.

[Guest]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

 

Just to add to this. I think that this example goes hand in hand with people who cut others down to make themselves feel/look better. I have the turn my other check attitude to this kind of behavior. I understand that they may be doing this because they themselves might feel pretty crappy. I believe that a truly confident person doesn't have to cut others down or have to compare themselves to other people. Granted there's always room to improve on one's self. However, I just don't think it's healthy when people compare themselves to others, opinions?

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Many very capable people practice modesty and they're always the one's to watch. Openly confident people who tell you of their accomplishments are insecure, if you think about it.

It's better to be modest since... He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make good his words - Confucius

[Guest M****ella's C****s (retire]

I don't think that I'm overtly confident, but I do tend to use humor quite a lot so it comes of as sarcastic and cocky. Not that I am, I just like to things to be light. I don't really brag, but when I do it's generally with a sense of humor to down play it...Here's the thing, its not weather you're humble or proud, I think there has to be a balance of the 2. I mean one of the hardest things to learn in our lives is to truly love and accept ourselves for who and what we are. And to embrace it. I think confidence is good, and I think that acknowledging your strengths and talents is awesome! Don't brag about it all the time, but I see nothing wrong in tooting your own horn once in a while and feeling blessed for the qualities you have. I guess I'm more of a quite type. I think that some people can over do it a little, but I also think that the saying give credit where credit is do is relevant for this...If you're pumped that you did something outstanding then share it, let people celebrate it with you and enjoy it! Just don't go over board and make yourself look like a jackass haha.

[Guest]

Very well put Michaella! Any one else who has a balance of open and quiet confidence please share how this has worked for you?

[Brad 49548]

Hmm, I wouldn't say I'm an overly confident person in general, but I do try to do my job well and I think it's shown over time. Same thing with hobbies. So I wouldn't say that I go around promoting myself but I also don't think I surprise people when I do good work on a job or activity.

 

I'd say in terms of being vocal it comes down more to when I feel passionate about something. There are topics and projects that are important to me, and that I feel I've got a good understanding on, so when those come up I tend to speak up. But that's more about me eagerly trying to explain a concept or issue that I feel I'm knowledgeable on as opposed to boasting about talents, I suppose.

[Guest]

Hmm, I wouldn't say I'm an overly confident person in general, but I do try to do my job well and I think it's shown over time. Same thing with hobbies. So I wouldn't say that I go around promoting myself but I also don't think I surprise people when I do good work on a job or activity.

 

I'd say in terms of being vocal it comes down more to when I feel passionate about something. There are topics and projects that are important to me, and that I feel I've got a good understanding on, so when those come up I tend to speak up. But that's more about me eagerly trying to explain a concept or issue that I feel I'm knowledgeable on as opposed to boasting about talents, I suppose.

 

I think acquiring knowledge and being able to express that knowledge is a wonderful talent!!!

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I am most definitely a quiet confidence person. I believe in myself and my talents, I know what I'm good at and what I want or need to work on (sometimes finding time is the challenge) and I would rather someone learn about my skill and talent from observation or first hand interaction than from my talking up myself. I have had instances of others taking credit for my work or ideas which eventually came back when they couldn't keep up the charade. I do love when I'm giving the opportunity to teach something I'm passionate about or love doing and while I don't toot my own horn, I do use my experiences as tools.

 

I have always found job interviews difficult because it is the one time that being outwardly confident makes a huge difference. While my words may be loudly confident, my body language and demeanor remain quietly so.

[Guest c**io**m7]

I know what I am good at and I know what needs work. I will happily and openly admit to both extremes.

[drlove 37202]

I have also observed that there is one openly confident type who appears confident but when in actual fact, they really don't know that subject well. They just have the delibrate habit of putting out a confident facade to garner respect and to gain advantages.

 

To a certain point, I suppose that's true. However, it's still important to have confidence in yourself, as that allows you to be assertive. I consider myself pretty laid back, generally speaking - that not withstanding, I would never allow myself to be walked on, either. Many times, I have been successful in negotiations with banks, companies etc. by simply refusing to take "no" for an answer. In my experience, I have found that you get the respect you demand.

[Guest]

To a certain point, I suppose that's true. However, it's still important to have confidence in yourself, as that allows you to be assertive. I consider myself pretty laid back, generally speaking - that not withstanding, I would never allow myself to be walked on, either. Many times, I have been successful in negotiations with banks, companies etc. by simply refusing to take "no" for an answer. In my experience, I have found that you get the respect you demand.

 

 

I'm very sweet and some think, sweet = pushover. This is not the case. I will be very kind to everyone and treat everyone fairly, until they treat me unkindly. You get what you give.

[WhiteKnight 1413]

Great topic Peachy!

 

I have a quiet confidence too. I let my work speaks for myself and I usually am victim of my own success (everybody asks for me help, which I am happy to give, but then I work too much!).

 

However, I sometimes have to swim with the executive crowd and if I want to influence things I have to speak their language... and this usually takes the form of open confidence (e.g., a confident salesman approach). It is challenging but it is worth learning how to do it, for the things that matter to me.

 

Interestingly, I am learning to be more generally openly confident with the help of CERB ladies, teaching me that beautiful art of seducing women. :)

 

Two good books I enjoyed about introversion and quiet confidence that may inspire some of you:

- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

- The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths by Marti Olsen Laney

[piano8950 32577]

I honestly can't tell you if I'm confident or not. A lot of times people thing I am because of the way I react to situations, particularly tricky, delicate, confrontational or highly stressful moments. But the truth is that I often find myself very alone and scared. But because I don't react, people think I'm calm, and have everything under control.

 

And the oddest thing is that I'm fueled by their confidence in me. But alone, I don't know.

[Raven Rain 10542]

I am the quiet type of confident ...

I like to pleasantly surprise people

[Ice4fun 78396]

For me personally I think my confidence is dependent on what aspect of my life I an involved in at the time.

 

In my professional role at work I think most people who know me would say I have a huge amount of confidence which is why I excel in the leadership role I have.

 

In my Community Role I am often engaged in leading community initiatives so I feel a great deal if confidence.

 

In my personal life... my family life... i used to be a very confident Dad and Husband... however I have had a lot happen in my personal life in recent years that has dramatically impacted my personal self image and confidence.... so my confidence in this are is lacking. I'm hoping that will change but who knows.

 

Just my opinion