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I agree with everyone else: you did the right thing. I'm glad that you followed your intuition. Nothing is more important for a companion than to have a well-developed sense of intuition and to be able to follow it. More than anything else, your intuition will keep you--and your clients--safe. I am fond of many of my clients. I'm not ashamed of that, at all. I know myself: I am sensitive and emotional; I also have an absolute, strong need to be as honest with people in my life as I can be while maintaining a very firm boundary between my work and my personal life, between Samantha and me, the woman who is not her. Some aspects of the pre-screening I do with potential clients are less my physical safety than about my emotional and psychological safety. For example, if a man reminds me of someone in my past or present life and I'm uncomfortable with that, I won't meet with him. (Disclosure: I was an abused woman and I grew up in an abusive family. I know what triggers I need to avoid, even when the other person is unknowingly setting them off. That is, this is about me, not about them.) In some ways, I liken what I do to the kinds of relationships therapists have with their clients. They're involved with their clients, they know them at an intimate level and, when things are going well, are trusted with the client's vulnerabilities and frailties. At the same time, their own lives, histories, stories, experiences and personal frailties are not features in the relationship. They are there to support and explore the client's needs, not their own, beyond the contractual aspects. What clients do, how they feel, what they say, the stories they tell--all of those things touch the therapist, sometimes profoundly. Nevertheless, these things arise in the context of a dynamic where confidentiality is so essential that it can't be broken for any reason unless the therapist's personal safety and well-being is at stake. (The safety and well-being of children with whom the client has contact must take first priority, but that's not germane in the SP/client dynamic.) Maintaining good boundaries is as essential for paid companions as it is for therapists. To stay healthy, we need to be able to "turn off" being a companion at the end of the work-day, so to speak. While things we read, hear about, see or think at other times may inform what we do when we're working, if we carry our clients with us into every aspect of our non-working lives, unhealthy things start to happen. Our "real self" and our "companion self" become blurred. We may become emotionally or psychologically needy; we may start to build up expectations about the client that go beyond agreed-upon things like payment of fees, activities that we will or will not do, and safety considerations such as the use of condoms. We may also feel obligated to be available to clients in ways that do not pertain to a healthy, well-defined client relationship, such as taking their calls at all hours of the day and night; allowing them to make frequent, last-minute appointments (if this is not an aspect of our usual business model); cancelling commitments to family, friends and/or other clients in order to accommodate the client's requests; and perhaps even relaxing the boundaries of our work, such as having erotic contact in public places (which is illegal) when this is not an option that we've provided before; or taking risks such as providing bareback services when that has not been a feature of our regular work; or venturing into nknown areas and activities unsafely, such as experimenting with drugs with clients. One of the seductions about our profession is that, if a woman thinks things through carefully and is able to provide top-notch service enthusiastically, and if she knows her market and how to appeal to it, she can make a considerable amount of money in a relatively short period of time. While most of us come into this profession because we have had a sudden need to earn a significant amount of money, once that need has been addressed and the related crises have been averted, we need to attend to our personal health and well-being in the form of making some sober, well-thought-out decisions about the amount of money we really need to earn and the number of clients we can reasonably see in the longer term. We also need to make firm decisions about how we will spend our non-working time. Every companion should have meaningful things to do when not meeting clients, answering e-mail, writing ads and working on her website. The paid companions who are passionate about non-work things in their lives maintain the best work-life balance and are best able to work, or retire, in strong and healthy ways. I'm apologize if it seems that I'm preaching or lecturing or acting like a Mom! That's not my intention. What I really want to say is that, if you think that you had developed some needs and expectations that are outside the usual boundaries, I hope you'll pay attention to those. This can be one of the loneliest professions there is. Perhaps you were lonely and wanted to build a friendship with someone. Maybe you hadn't found ways to care for yourself and your real, human needs, but found that this particular client fulfilled some of those for you. It might be that you had been over-working and had become overtired and found that you could rest and relax in this man's company. It's possible that your real needs for affirmation, confirmation and support have been lacking in your own life and you might have gotten a little over-invested in the positive feedback and compliments he gave you--that is, your ego got hooked a little too much. It might even be that he made you feel needed and important when you hadn't been feeling that way in the rest of your life. If you can figure out what you may have needed from him, I'm sure you'll also be able to identify healthier ways to find those things outside of your work. The last thing I want to say is that paid companions and clients do sometimes form genuine, durable, deeply loving and lasting relationships. Of course they do. We're human beings. But when this happens, in most cases I have known, the parties start over. He stops paying her or giving her money. She begins to involve him in her "real" life, and he involves her in his. They get to know each other as two people, as equals. Often, when this happens, the big issue they face will have to do with her work. Most men do not share their partners easily. She may need to retire or they may need to find ways to separate her profession from the realities of who she is as a woman, a partner and a friend. This may not be easy, but it does happen. I, for one, will not disparage anyone for building more love in this world. You did the right thing with your client. Be proud of yourself! And be careful. Stay safe. With respect and affection, Sam

So I've been interested in getting a massage from ... well, let's just say a semi-regular CERB lady. Last time I was in Ottawa, I emailed her once when I got into town, and then again two weeks later... but by the time she responded, I had left town. Now that I'm back in Ottawa, I tried emailing her again. To my delight, she responded right away with several availabilities over the next few days. I returned her email right away, and waited ... and waited ... and waited. I emailed her again a few days later, and proposed another time and date, but no response still. This was a week ago. So my question is, should I read anything into this? Is she not really interested in me? Should I try emailing again, or is it too awkward now? Anybody have a similar experience?

We can't give up the beautiful nature of our loving and trusting hearts! I just tell myself that there's always going to be a sleaze or two who slips through the cracks of the filters we use. Then I move on, forget the hurt and remember that... I've also come to know a bunch of treasured individuals who always make me smile!

I never had to cancel, but I have been late due to traffic. Once I had to wait for a moose to get served before me....

I expect that if all of the SP's pooled their stories and anecdotes that there is a bestseller in the works for the person that puts it together. Sometimes we do find the misfortunes of others funny, and after a period of time, funny even to those who suffered the misfortune. An example of this is the thread started by Megan about Best Fail Moments at http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28938 and there are some hilarious stories in there. Recently I had an experience where I thought that I would have to cancel a date with less than one days notice. IF it had happened, I doubt that it would have been accepted as valid, but honest, this is the truth. You see, I have a severe allergy to wasp stings, but not to bee stings. A wasp sting causes severe pain, severe swelling, severe itching and burning, and does not go away in a matter of hours - it is days or weeks. Bees, no similarity. Anyway, the day before this encounter, I was outside, wearing nothing but a pair of very loose fitting shorts and I got stung. I knew it was a bee or a wasp. That was easily determined because you KNOW when you get stung. But I was not just stung anywhere, oh no, the little bugger had flown up my shorts, and must not have liked what it saw, so it decided to let me have it right on my balls. And then, reactions kick in. I swatted it. Double pain. Oh shit! They say that just before you die your life flashes before your eyes. Well this experience may be a close second. Pain, and then, "Was it a wasp or was it a bee"? And then, "If it was a wasp, will they ever believe me when I cancel"? The shorts were dropped, and upon investigation, I found the bee. Thank the good Lord above! OK, so this has made me wonder when I hear of guys cancelling at the last minute, what were the best stories that you may have heard as an SP, especially if you KNOW they were speaking truth? Or maybe it is the ones that you'd never believe, like, "I got stung on the balls by a wasp." Anyone care to top the excuse that I did not have to use? Guys, you can file that one away for when you need it, but trust me, you don't want this to happen to you.

Let's talk about SEX!!! All this talk of sex is making me horny..the kind that makes you squirm in your chair and want to go grab your partner and wanna make some hard yumm yumm sexy time too (know what I'm sayin?) Soo, as I sit here, feeling like a cat in heat, I thought we could share some SEXY TIME stories and spread the hornyness ALL AROUND??? Sharing is a good thing, so I will share a little sneak peak..hopefully you will share yours.. Soo, In the time I've lived where I do, I rarely see any police come here..So the week of Canada Day..There were cops everywhere in my quiet suburban neighborhood, with dogs and flashlights..at one point, it's like they used my parking lot as a meeting spot for 4 police cars, a police truck and all the dogs and such..I got really turned on, so..I did the only thing I could think of to take care of it, removed my shorts and my partners...and had amazing sex right there on my balcony(2nd floor) with the police not even 20 feet away from us..behind the Canadian flag. IT WAS AWESOME SEXY TIME!! Please share your sexy stories with me, and please don't be alarmed if I touch myself at the same time. Thank You Oh and have some sexy time tonight, you know you wanna Additional Comments: That made me remember this other time that involves police..I was parked with a client behind some shops and we were just chatting in a car while I molested his hardness before making our way to the Hilton..We were blinded by two fog lights, 2 police cars had pulled up next to us..Asked to see I.D from both of us ect..I had none on me, so I just gave him my name and apparently that wasn't enough and while the clients sticker had just expired two days before, he was trying to get out of that mess and I was Idless. The officer asked me what we were doing here and I told him we were just making out, right? (no harm done?) Then back to my ID a few minutes later, I said "here, call my phone number, my husband will tell you who I am" You should have seen the look on the officers face, he let us go!

Pay for one time sex Or Pay for dinner and have sex as many times without paying for it Posted via Mobile Device

Pof is free dating site..few chats here and there...exchange numbers...meet up for cofee...and if chemistry is right, the rest is history...sex can be free trust me... Posted via Mobile Device

Life is not simple, nor should people think it is. People went through the depression in the 20s and had it more difficult than anyone has today. However, we live in period where instant gratification is available and somewhat expected. Many of the youth today have had it fairly easy, while others see no hope. I do believe that people have opportunity if they want and are willing to work for it. There is no justification in rioting and trying to find a rational reason for it. I find it inexcusable and we should not go looking for a reason to condone the actions of the individuals.

Paying for dinner does not mean we are in any way obligated to have sex with you.

castle, this could be a chance to get that tattoo on the inside of your wrist you always wanted. It could become a talking point at parties. "Why do you have a list on your wrist?" "Well I'm glad you asked, madam!"

I love seeing a bit of levity on Cerb but I think you posted in the wrong section as this surely belongs with the jokes. Right? Is so, hahahaha I laughed so hard that it actually made my day :)

To put it bluntly, with what we go through as SPs as it is booking clients, I have no desire to "bid" on a bj. No thanks.

Here's another issue with Txts and Emails, and I know some of you guys won't like or agree with what I have to say about this. ALOT (not all, but a very high percentage of ppl) of txt messages and email requests are basically tire kickers. Just sniffing around and window shopping and in many cases are not truely serious. Many of them end up to be last minute cancellations or no shows. So normally if they are unwilling to call, its not gonna happen. Another big reason is without hearing their voice, there are alot of vibes and tones and you can miss. You hereif they sound drunk, or not all there. So from safety point of view it's a bit less secure. Another reason for the phone call is we, (and I am sure many providers) log numbers of ppl that are no shows, or are aggressive, (we have had a few lately unfortunately), or rude and ignorant ppl, or guys are drunks or have brought drugs into their calls. By going through emails that is circumvented. For us we will answer a txt and ask the client to call. If they can't at the time, I will give basic info and tell them if they are interested to call so my receptionist can organize things for them. I do understand the convienience of email or txting. But in our opinion the security measures outweigh the convienience factors.

I really like when an album lets the woman's personality shine through. A great example would be Cleo Catra's albums I prefer when the pictures don't seem forced and the woman seems comfortable. Obviously, that is hard if you aren't actually comfortable taking them which is certainly not uncommon. Otherwise, obviously the subject of the pictures is important. I'm not too particular on what the lady is wearing, and any attempt to please one person's particular peccadilloes will probably be displeasing to someone else. So basically, have fun with it and, with a lady a beautiful as yourself, it is bound to turn out great.

Trust is a hard thing to give...especially after it's been thrown back in your face a few times....the key is to not let it change your fundamental being..don't let it change you as a person. Learn from it but don't let it shape you. I too am a very trusting person, sometimes to a fault, but I don't let it change me...I take it as a lesson learned. The way I see it...if I get taken advantage of by someone and if I let that experience change me and make me a more bitter, less trusting person, well, then that person who took advantage has won and I've lost a lot more than trust. I'd hate to be the kind of person who can't trust, and who takes everything said or done with a grain of salt. That's not me. And it's not you. You're a beautiful person inside and out Angel...if you're happy with who you are then don't change for anything. *Big Giant Hugs!!* xoxo

I agree with Sky: sexist, racisit and heteronormative. I would also add: Western and that it ignores the role of patriarchy plays in women's sexuality and availability. I think that one key issue the report overlooks is who makes the rules about the value of sex and why they make them. Women are not necessarily the ones who "restrain sex." Limiting women's sexual activity serves particular societal and cultural norms. Women's virginity is an issue in many cultures and its value is reinforced by religious norms. But the real value of virginity as a selling-point in such cultures is that a potential husband can be assured that his new bride will not be pregnant by any other man nor will she have any sexually transmissible infections. The enforcement of women's monogamy is always about guaranteeing the paternity of offspring which, in turn, is about ensuring that property and assets will only be inherited by the children of the same man or by his blood relations. Considerations related to women's sexual orientation, sexual preferences and desires have no place in this system because women do not, in effect, own their own bodies or their sexuality. Women do not necessarily make decisions, as a group, about when to have sex or with whom. Those decisions are not made because of women's preferences, but because of cultural norms. It seems to me that the researchers may not have been asking the best questions. If they had asked, for example, about women's financial independence and their access to safe, inexpensive and reliable forms of birth control (and abortions when required), the results of the study may have been more realistic. I also wonder whether, when asking about what women receive in exchange for sex, they asked about things like personal security. Women exchange sex (or marry) for some kinds of status, to be sure, but also for security and safety--that is, for protection from other men, protection for their children and security in the event that their male partners may become disabled or die before they do.

I like Andy because he is a nice guy, a good friend and a great assett to this board.

I actually support Steve's sports allegiances, at least in the baseball arena. I also like Steve for his fine representation of a gentleman from Atlantic Canada. His conduct makes all of us east coasters better off.

I like Alexandra-Sky because although we've yet to meet...a shared friend has told me she's very sexy and beautiful and we'ld have quite a connection. Blush Blush...telling her in this public thread. XO

RG always has awesome posts!

I used to be a very shy girl, and didn't ever dare think of having any kind of public sex... Boy was I missing out... How much more of a turn on can there be than to know that you can get caught at any moment...!! My EX and I were out drinking at Dooley's Pool Hall one night, and as the night progressed we ended up quite shmammered... well, if anyone is like me, then they understand that shmammered means HORNY, so, as I was teasing him to the point of near cumming in his pants, I take his hand and sneak him into the ladies washroom!! Five minutes later, ass up, right about to cum, and in pops a patron.... We freeze... then continue... almost silent.. slowly.. so slowly, hoping they will vacate quickly.. perched on the edge of what turned out to be the best orgasm of my life... I had to bite into my shirt to keep from making the noises that were threatening to escape... as the hand washing commenced... one last stroke, and the force of my orgasm erupted through my lips.... I was trying to hold my trembling body up and keep myself quiet... the tap shut off... and high heels clickety clacked out of the room, door shut... I had to take a moment to laugh before finishing my suddenly cum shy EX.... Needless to say.. I stumbled out of the bathroom, walked up to the bar and ordered another drink with a huge smile on my face... Was it obvious??? I hope so!!

Soooooo. Here's my plan! And this is only page one of this thread. Sooo Gonna watch The Notebook with Julia followed by sex with Julia. Sounds wonderful to me! Then I am gonna have a little hair time with Chanel for HOURS ! Then I will skip Old Dog and Castle sorry boys and spend some quality time kissing the back of Julia's neck once again then some Taboo Time !!! Then some mmm mmm mmm hairy chest time with Angel ! grrr baby grrr !!! Then I will throw some firefighters gear on and see AngelofOttawa...be my pleasure....then throw some bunker gear on and have a oh so nice visit with Lexxxus ! I love this hobby ! lol Better stop here...no page two

When I feel that my trust has been betrayed, I think about all the true friends that I do have. Regardless of the time between touching base and whatever events occur in our lives, those true friends are always there and always provide an unselfish ear to your troubles. I would rather trust many and take the chance that you will be betrayed than to not trust anyone at all! Life is too short to be suspect! Remember - tomorrow is a another day and those who care will not judge you in anyway other than for the great person that you are!!

One of these normally brings me back, sometimes two or three are needed:

Gordon Lightfoot-If You Could Read My Mind RG

When trust is broken, it is hard, it hurts, there is no getting around it. But what I do is turn to my family and friends, They help through the rough patches. And they are also a reminder of the people you have in your life you trust and care about, and they trust and care about you. And even though you are down now, things do improve with time...they really do RG

Watch an action movie where you really hate the villain but who gets his in the end. Then watch a comedy that'll have you laughing until you cry. The first satisfies your need for revenge (and most of us feel that when we've been wronged so deeply) and the second offers a positive emotional release. There is no therapy like laughter. Eat a bucket of ice cream and then later go for a really good run, the kind that'll tire you out so that you'll sleep well and let yourself sleep in. It won't solve your problems, but will ease them and give your mind some distance to gain perspective.

Hahahahahahahahah Or if you answer the phone "cerb headquarters" Posted via Mobile Device

Here's one I posted about six months ago. A true story. "Mute."

I like that Old Dog. He is always a good host with a warm heart! And he makes me laugh until I cry! xo

I posted this story of how I lost my virginity in another thread but it seems appropriate for here too...so enjoy: At 18 (I was something of a late bloomer) I took my then girlfriend to Florida with my parents to visit my grandparents who were snowbirds at the time. First night I got a bj on the couch while my grandparents were sleeping in the next room. Now keep in mind that this was a motor home so the "next room" is pretty much just the other end of the trailer, separated by a 1 inch piece of sliding paneling lol. The next night another bj progressed to digits and eventually to the full shebang ;) ...Again with my grandparents in the next "room". The showers at the snowbird trailer park where we were staying were community showers, one side of the building for the men, the other for the women. She snuck into the men's side one night and we had us some fun in the shower. She was a real dirty girl...she even tried to go down on me again on the drive home, we were in the back seat and my parents, both very much awake, in the front of the car. I put a stop to that right quick, she pouted the rest of the way home, lol. Ahhh....fun times. I've been a fan of the Sunshine State ever since. And as I think about it now, I just realized that as that trip was my first foray into the sexual arena that this could very well explain my fondness for public quickies! Even though she's married now I still keep in close touch with her....can you blame me? She can't stay married forever right? :p Additional Comments: Ohhhh and I just remembered! She'll be in town visiting in a few weeks sans-husband.....hmmmm......wonder if she'll need a place to crash? ....Arrgh...no Castle! Don't even go there! Shame on you for having such immoral thoughts! :p

Safe sex can never happen (unless the above comical suggestions are taken to heart hehe); we can only practice safer sex by reducing the risks involved in this very (very) lovely activity. I do CBJs only, but allow for DATY, digits, and DFK. I would say my services are 'safe' according to my standards. The risk of transmission to me is considerably low for these activities, but the risk of transmission to one of my partners, if they aren't using a dental dam, is higher (but still comparatively low to unprotected sex). Safer sex is an odd game of statistics. I would say an SP who sees multiple clients a day is at a lower risk of STIs than one girl who goes to a bar, picks up, and gives the guy a BBBJ and fucks him without a condom...

i pay my accountant by the hour - i pay my lawyer by the hour -i pay my house cleaner by the hour- all professionals -why would your services be any different- except more enjoyable