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I think that I'm not alone in thinking that I was really surprised when first signing up to CERB at how much goes on here. While CERB was originally established as a forum to facilitate both SPs and Hobbyiests' experiences of finding a good match, those of us who are on here regularly know that CERB has far outgrown this single purpose. We regularly have respectful discussions about all sorts of things: politics, sexual health, relationship advice, to name a few. I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread where everyone can share some of the things we've learned as a result of CERB. I'll start: When I first started working, I had already done some work to break down the stereo-type of who clients were, but it was CERB who taught me that people who seek companionship from SPs are often wonderful, respectful and kind-hearted people. I also learned how powerful all of the SPs on here are! XO Sky

CERB is a community to allow Providers and Hobbyists to interact with one another. It is a business model that works for each party. Providers get clients, clients get providers. I am kind of dismayed that people get there feathers ruffled if they receive a PM and it's a friendly solicitation or a post on their profile page that is viewed by themselves or others. Why complain? I do not mind getting either forms of Solicitation. Personally, I have received such and appreciate the fact that a provider will see me, sometimes it's from a lady that has not been around in awhile, that I would like to see again. This board has a component of soliciting. Providers advertise their service. Is this what we are not all here for?

Well I was kinda happy that I asked the question about the profile visitor issue and started this thread. I like to think there has been some good debate about the pro's and con's of the messages left on ones profile. There was a wise comment made earlier where the individual could shut off that guest book feature or simply delete the message on their own profile. I also fully endorse the reasoning behind the shut down of the option, but also do really admit I miss it. I'm sure either way it will all work out for everyone's benefit. Over the time, I often enjoyed the flirting between a lady and myself,but it has never came across to me as bold, solicitation or in fact desperate on my part or ever from the ladies that have visited my profile and left a message, even if she said" Missing you" The actual set up of a date was/ is always done behind closed doors through pm's or emails. The ladies here always have shown professionalism through great flirting,no different than us gents making a nice comment about welcoming the lady,or her photo's or in fact telling her to have a great day. It is/was a communication tool used by the vast majority of us here, with keeping within the guidelines and rules. So kudo's to you ladies, for doing that (gentle flirting I love it) over the time, and as Mr.Green said.... "minority" in this case can ruin things for the the majority. (Well said Mr.Green!)

What is Cerb? Folks have wares for sale and buyers have interest in said wares. How these said wares are advertised and promoted is irrelevant for me. Solicit away I say :) Peace MG

A few things. To address the original question: Yes, it is rude, and it shows that you are not taking responsibility for your own actions. You weren't worried about STD's until after the condom slipped off, so why is it now okay to ask the SP to prove she's clean? You are responsible for your own sexual health. That means getting tested regularly and having safe sex. When condoms slip or break, go and get tested again. It's as simple as that. By asking an escort if she'll show you her tests to prove she's healthy, you are placing the onus on her to provide a safe experience. And as I said, it is up to you to ensure your own sexual health. Sex workers are safer sex experts and use safer sex supplies at rates much higher than the general public. To address the assumption that sex workers are obviously sleeping with more partners than the average woman--it all depends. But to assume that because we're sex workers we have more partners--well that's just silly. You cannot know the number of partners we may or may not have. So don't assume that we're all high volume, sleeping with as many partners as we can. We'd all burn out pretty quick if that were the case. And I have to agree with Elizabeth Saunders--involving alcohol increases the chances of doing something stupid, such as having unsafe sex. You're more likely to catch something from a random chick at a bar than an escort. With regard to HIV only, I'd just like to point out that sex workers are not even considered a high risk by Public Health Canada.

In the end we all have to be responsible for our own sexual health. Asking an SP to reassure you is not taking full responsibility of your own health....its asking her to reassure you that you're safe, and no SP can do that because we're SPs...not doctors. Best to go get tested regularly if you are having multiple partners (this includes SPs and especially non SPs)..... asking someone if they are sure they are clean and asking for proof is kinda like asking someone if they're lying....or at least it feels like it on our end.

This post is just about my thoughts on a subject, it's just my opinion, I'm not saying it is right, I'm not saying it is wrong, it just my views. First a little bit about myself, I'm in my mid-twenties. I've been in short relationships, long relationships (longest 3 years), but for pretty much this past year, I've been single. Dated a few girls, but nothing really that I would consider a serious "relationship". Something I have noticed though is especially in August aka "Wedding Season" is that a lot of what used to be my core friends are all getting married or are in pretty serious relationships. I've noticed that myself and my other "single" friends have slowly been indirectly pushed out of our social circles. Now, it's not that our "couple friends" are assholes or anything like that, they are great awesome people, it's just that "couples" hang out with "couples". While single people are slowly pushed to the curb. Mind you, this is just my opinion, it may not be the case all the time. So what is a single person to do? They are suppose to get back into a relationship. Society programs us to find someone else whether it be the bar, dating websites, the grocery store, or whatever else. And too, even if you find someone, you will always have that dreaded shadow behind you of past relationships. The public seems to think that just because a past relationship ENDS it equals FAILURE. How is that even fair? How is that even correct? Singleness is treated like a disease, like it needs to be fixed. It's treated like a state that one surely needs to change as quickly as possible, and a change we should all strive for. If you are single, friends view you as miserable, something is wrong you, and that they need to make sure you are going to make it. Western society drives the thought into children at a young age thru the media & even sometimes in real life, that a person should always be striving for romance or sexual desire. Being single does not represent success and happiness. The stigma of singleness needs to be removed. The devaluation of it needs to come to a halt. For example, what if in Ottawa, happiness didn't equal getting married, moving away from downtown, and moving into a house in Kanata or Orleans, then starting a family. Another example would be what if little girls weren't driven by society to organize their life around a heterosexual relationship as the focal point, then put other things like friends, a career, living arrangements etc. around that relationship wherever it may fit. What really is wrong with living with roommates? What really is wrong with living members of the opposite sex without dating? What really is wrong with living alone? This not only allows us to experience different social living structures but also allows us to escape the linear line that Western culture tries to cultivate upon us. Life doesn't need to be centered around sex or a relationship. Happiness can be found in numerous other bits & bytes in your life. Just because single people don't centralize their life around sex or a relationship, does not mean they are deficient. There's nothing deficient about being single, and pursuing the kind of life you want. If we as a society just expand our idea on what lives are acceptable, whether you are a middle aged male, divorced, single young lady with career aspirations, gay, lesbian, poly, or even straight married people living in Kanata/Orleans, basically ALL kinds of people, I just think we would be a lot better served.

You're shitting me....I JUST saved this exact same photo to my photobucket album with the intention of posting it in the boobies thread! So much for that idea, great minds think alike :p Additional Comments: Screw it I'm posting it anyway :p

There is a difference between sending pms/signing a guestbook with messages and maybe flirtation and sending solicitations The ladies should feel free to do the former, if it is with a member they feel comfortable enough to send messages to. But soliciting business, that can make a member feel uncomfortable, and maybe pressured to do business. If a lady notices a member has seen her profile, a thank you (at the most) is in my opinion ok. If he wants to see her, he will initiate contact with her. My 2 cents RG

I have learned: 1. That the friendships I have fostered here are genuine. Those that have been to my home, and the yet to visit all have a place in my heart. You know who you are... now you know how I truly feel. 2. That although we may not always see eye to eye, we can enjoy each other's company despite our differences on certain issues. 3. That the most beautiful, desirable women on the planet are also the most intelligent, witty and soulful people I have ever encountered. 4. That if the naysayers and abolitionists actually paid attention to what was written here, they would have a completely different opinion about the industry they ignorantly rally against. 5. That this is a place that can easily occupy many hours of my time and still not be considered time wasted. 6. That sooooo many people set me up for one liners.... In actuality, I think I would be a lesser person had I not found this site... you all make me so much better!

I want to thank MOD for looking after the stalker situation so diligently. Good job!!! It is nice to know we got MOD to help with such a scary situation...so again thanks MOD!!

Thanks for the explanation, Scribbles :) In an SP/client type of "relationship" I don't believe trust has anything to do with it. The risk factors involved play a major role in this particular situation. Trusting "you" won't lower my risks but if I play safe, I'm automatically lowering them ;)

"I also learned how powerful all of the SPs on here are!" Bingo! Peace MG

With this in mind, I think we must give kudos to the mod for acting in such a manner to protect one of our own. I am grateful that he has not named names which could exacerbate the situation our provider finds herself in... and I am thankful that we can show the understanding in the perhaps temporary loss of a feature that we have enjoyed. That my friends, is why CERB is a great community.

if it's for the safety of the ladies, i can live without this feature. the ladies safety is and always is the number one priority here on cerb.

I respectfully disagree, Emily. When I see "Come and see me soon" to me it comes across as soliciting. So if I think that way, so will others and that is what the guys don't like. It also makes the Poster seem a little pushy or desperate. Just my two cents.

Well Once again I find myself easily identifying with Mr Daniel 17, I am also in the same situation. late 20's, ottawa area, and single. After reading your comments Danile my friend can I ever identify with your statements. In the last 3 summers I have participated in 7 weddings including my "younger" siblings. Never does it become more evident that you are alone then at weddings when all you see around are couples. Of course, when your there all people ask is what you do and who your with. Myself, I have always been single for a few reasons. In high school, working/sports was more important to me than dating. Then, as others chose to party and date I chose to continue working. People often misread this as avoidance or procrastination. Don't get me wrong, I believe in marriage, love, monogamy but all in due time and with the right woman. Call it old fashion, crazy or what have you but whne I feel it's the right person and right situation for me I will do it because I'm not one of those guys who wants to be 5 and divorced 3 times. At no time is it more difficult being single and not regarded upon as a failure then when your younger sibling gets married and in my culture(french canadian) when your younger sibling gets married before you its tradition to dance on your socks. It can become quite embarassing, in my case both the bride/groom were the youngest sblings so we were two guys to dance with 250 people watching, so basically they know your getting older and "STILL" not married! Of course for the benefit of my younger sibling I took it all in stride and we had great fun, but of course it still does have it's impact. It is veyr difficult to date these days even with several different avenues, and with alot of frinds being in couples as Daniel17 mentioned they do tend to stick to their "go to" couples. It's fun seing weddings and houses and kids but at some point things get harder. It's a greta compliment when friends want to always "set you up" or your aunts always say "I have the perfect girl for you!" but what exactly tells these people that you require input or efforts or that their is a problem with MY WAY of choosing who I see and what I do. So, when Danile asks: "why do people assume I am unhappy?" I can definetely understand his point of view as I have been comptemplating the exact same thoughts. Just my 2 cents

Wow, i think it is no different then the hobbiest looking repeatedly at our profiles, clearly they are interested in some way.....as it is a site for service providers and men looking for those services.....so why are we hiding? we all know why everyone is on here. we all share that much in common, thats how we have contact with each other, which eventually turns into friendship (cerbship). I dont think its distasteful to reply with a flirty message. I think its fun, light hearted, and exciting. pushing someone and soliciting is begging them to come see you and giving your location and rates and so on on their guestbook-which is not allowed. however saying a playful message like "come play soon" or "hope to meet you soon" etc should be considered just as light as saying see ya later or talk soon etc. ohhhh cerb what is going on?! SMILE! ;) Xoxoxo

To be Honest I thought it was the polite thing to do- to acknowledge and thank the people that have viewed your profile and to be flirtatious enough that they feel invited to visit again and again ;) I am disappointed it is gone. Same with the counter, as that added to the excitement of this site! It also helps determine if the thousands of dollars spent in advertising on here actually works...... I really enjoyed the last 10 visitors option and the counter was a bonus...... my fingers are crossed that it will all return as I miss being able to notice a potential new friend, and to thank them for their interest and their time -etc. xoxoxo

For security reasons i have disabled this feature and i am working on a way to let each user hoose to turn this on or off....problem is this feature is being abused. Urgency to remove this is because one of the ladies has a real bad stalker we cant get rid of. he is watchng her profile and contacts everyone who visits her profile and says bad things about her so no one sees her. i have banned him about 10 times and he keeps coming back with new ip and sneaking in. its adding to his obsession and hurting her business too so for now i disabled it. also... some of the sp's post on every persons wall who visits them and this is also getting complaints. I am looking for a solution that would enable each person to turn on or off this feature.

First off, IslandIndependant, apologies for my earlier response. Seriously I don't function well without a morning pot of coffee, and should have waited till I got home from work before replying I read the lines starting with "If a man is paying..." and honestly, it sounds, even now more like some guys who have made posts that are disrespectful towards SP's For me, and I'm sure for a lot of the gentlemen here, seeing a escort is more than just about sex. Yes, most definitely, sex is part of the encounter, but not the whole encounter. I like the entireity of the encounter, the initial meeting, conversation, sex, kissing/cuddling Another way to put it, I like encounters of two to three hours. I'm fifty years old...do you really believe I have two to three hours sexual stamina at my age?...no, I like the company of women for more than just sex. I don't know whether you have such a narrow shallow view of escorting because it was your mindset before entering the profession, or you have only met guys as clients who view you solely as a means for their sexual gratification. But it should be mutually beneficial. And that, for me doesn't mean money for sex. It means money to compensate for the lady's time, with the benefit of no relationship complications. What happens during the time can be mutually enjoyable and pleasurable. Seeing ladies shouldn't be a zero sum game...that whatever the gentleman gains is at the lady's loss Some coffee laden thoughts RG

There has been lots of talk again recently about sp using stolen photo"s I would like to discuss stolen texts. Awhile back I reported two separate ladies who used stolen text (word for word copy paste) in there cerb advertisement. I was surprised to learn that this is NOT necessarily against cerb rules. Personally I spend little to no time on a ladies photo albums and most of my time on what they have to say in there advertising,cerb post, and web sites. I read any Reco's that they may have and how they interact with other cerb members. I use this information to see if this is someone I would like to meet and if we are compatible. So personally I feel any lady that uses a stolen text describing there personality or services offered is just as offencive and deceiving as a stolen photo just wondering how everyone else feel about this. Just a side not the two ladies that I reported for using stolen text were eventually banned for breaking other cerb rules so you can read into that what you want

On occasion, appreciative clients give me tickets to things like concerts and the theatre. These are great gifts. I'm thinking that the Fat Bastards might enjoy tickets to the demolition derby, right? :icon_lol:

I use it for my notes.

The girls have done a lot of work on this, so it's time to show them the support they deserve by picking up your tickets now. Takes a lot of uncertainty for them to get the tickets out of the way. If you're sitting on the fence get them anyway, it's a good deal and pretty cheap for a well organized event

IMO it is only polite to say hello and to thank any visitors and I always do when able to. To complain that someone said hello and thank you, no solicitation type posts whatsoever. Is just plain sad. IMO. You do have the option to delete and/or not approve the message. Everyone is entitled to complain, it's human nature. I do hope that a solution that would enable each person to turn on or off this feature will be an option soon.

I am maybe impartial...but Angel's boobies :D

I dunno if its already been posted...but i always post this one on friend's facebook walls (provided they're not actually adopted) on their birthdays....but only if they love LOL cats ;-)

That's true. However, the Canadian Blood Services eliminate anyone who has had taken money for sex at any time since 1977. They also eliminate anyone who has paid money for sex. Anyone who has had sex with someone whose sexual background they didn't know is also not allowed to donate blood.

I promise this is my last post to this thread as everytime i try to explain or express myself i am bombarded with negativity, I promise i was not being snarky.....I find that offensive. anyway, i will leave this thread for the other ladies to continue on with. thank you for at least hearing me out ;) goodnight. xoxoxoxo

Cool Thread Alexandra My hobby life would have been short if it wasn't for Cerb. Like you, I have learned how wonderful you SP's and hobbyist alike can be. We here are from all scopes of life and are looking for different things. For me it has allowed me to meet with the type of ladies I want to meet with. Great sex yup...on the menu....but...personality and sense of humor is pretty huge with me for an encounter. To be honest I have never been dissapointed with a date set up with someone I have met on Cerb. I have learned a ton!!! About soooo many things. Sex talk yes but also just about world happenings. It has been awesome. Makes me smile and laugh sooooo much more than I did in my life before Cerb :)

Hey if its THAT serious....I thought we were all about safety first....?

I find these questions and people's responses to it fascinating. Any sexual interaction involves an element of risk and a concurrent amount of trust. The higher the risk, the more trust is required. Only the individual can decide how much risk or how little trust they can tolerate. I think it's misleading to say an SP is likely safer than someone you pick up in a bar. That depends on the SP and the bar chick. A very promiscuous woman you pick up in a bar still reasonably has far less sex and far fewer partners than an average SP. The SP is far more likely to always use protection, but that doesn't mean the bar chick doesn't. The SP quite likely gets tested regularly, but this is neither guaranteed nor does it completely discount the possibility that bar chick does too. So, do your own calculus, but based on degree of "promiscuity" the SP is the greater risk, though this is mitigated more than bar chick by the fact that self interest suggests greater responsibility with protection and testing. Figure out if you have enough trust and can accept this much risk, same as you would with bar chick. To the OP, I don't think it's any more rude than an SP or client insisting on a CBJ. In both cases, it implies that trust is lacking, which isn't entirely unreasonable. But, don't be surprised if proof cannot be provided, or if you are asked as well. What would you do if proof was not made available? If you would still go through with it, why bother asking in the first place? To the ladies, I can understand how questions like this can be perceived as insulting, but it's a result of a cultural over-awareness of sexual health issues and unfortunate stereotyping of sex workers. Putting a condom on one of us is a sign that you value your health, and asking questions simply signifies the same of us. It's ignorant, but not malicious, that a client would require greater assurances from you than from a one night stand. Until the industry is brought into more mainstream acceptance, ignorance is going to be very difficult to overcome.

sometimes being sexy hurts......

Yes, it is rude!

Well, I think there is some valuable advice in this thread, then. To sum it up, be very respectful in all your dealings with SPs starting from the first time you contact them. Show them that you are a man who can be trusted. When they come to your city, book an appointment, and keep it. If you do this, and a few more gentlemen do the same thing, then slowly Moncton's reputation will begin to change. Also, build your own reputation by participating more frequently on CERB, if that's something you enjoy. It will let ladies see that you are a reputable person and allow you to have casual online interactions with them which certainly won't hurt when they are travelling to your area.

I find it unfortunate that the "minority" in this case can ruin things for the the majority. Peace MG

I'm a guy and I don't mind it. But, context is important. I don't have a problem with a lady acknowledging my visit to her profile and inviting me to come see her. I do have a problem if she appears out-of-the-blue on my page with an invitation to see her. This is a form of advertising and there is a special forum available for that purpose. As for the original topic. The ideal solution is to always have the visitor panel turned on and give the profile owner the ability to keep it private (only visible when viewing your own profile) or public (visible to anyone viewing your profile). A third "semi-private" option could be considered where only friends of the profile owner can see the visitor panel. It seems most (if not all) users enjoyed the private benefits of this feature (i.e. seeing who's visiting their profile and seeing how many visitors they have). The stalker issue resulted from making this information public. Perhaps then, an even simpler solution would be to provide no optionality and just enable the visitor panel as a private feature (i.e. only visible to the profile owner).

I think it is pretty hard to specifically define a couple words on a page as soliciting or playful. It really depends on the 'relationship' between the 2 people and the context. If someone is saying 'come see me' on numerous hobby pages with no existing interaction than thats surely soliciting. But I prefer to edge on the more liberated side. After all lets not forget what this sight is about. I get tickled when a lady I might have had a small initial interaction with (even me viewing her page) posts a message. It doesn't mean I need to respond. And some ladies who I know do post random messages on my page. Some can just say 'hi' and I get that warm feeling. However, the original thread is not about posts on guest pages. It is about the loss of visiter information. Understanding and supporting the reason for its removal...I look forward to the optionality of its return. Cub

I will add my voice to the chorus that this is a useful and agreeable feature that helps promote socializing amongst CERB members... Touch

I think what is being suggested by Emily is that us as Paid Advertisers it is a great tool to utilize. Yes it would be completely inappropriate to SPAM members guestbooks. Because us agencies as well as MA working for an agency have to pay to be here we are forced to work hard and utilize all resources. If a member takes an interest in viewing our profile shows they are curious and/or interested in us so is it inappropriate to acknowlege there interest? I say NO. It is completely acceptable imho :) I think that having an option to turn this option on/off is a great idea as well so for those who do not enjoy this feature can turn it off :)

Here is a comment from a comedian, he said : " If i were standing at an intersection waiting to cross the street, and just seen 54% of the people get hit by cars.......would I really want to cross that street?" Of course this is referring to marriage........I laughed for days over that one!

This. 1. As Samantha eluded to if someone is willing to cover the entire cost of the travel a SP is more then willing to travel to any location. And I am sure many of us have been unknowing beneficiaries of a generous client. 2. Pre-booking. When a SP does an advance schedule post they are looking for reassurance that they can break even for their travel. Pre-booking helps reassure them. However.... 3. Reputation. A location's reputation also plays a part of their decision. A place with high no-shows, rude clients, reduces its attraction to visiting SP. Unfortunately Ottawa still has a bad rep for no-shows. Notice (1) and (2) are within our singular control while (3) requires a more coordinated effort by all of us.

I like the feature too, but I agree with winnipegcub - Safety before convenience always! If it's being used to harass SPs, I'm totally cool with not having it for a while, until it's made opt-out-able/friends-only, or otherwise tightened up to prevent this kind of misuse. We'll just have to be patient. Rushing where safety and security is concerned is always bad.

As I love to read novels and books on history, I always wished I had the natural ability to be able to put my thoughts on paper. I always thought it would be awesome to write a book someday.

Well gentlemen, the beautiful Victoria Jolie and myself have finally decided to offer full interactive duos together!! An updated list of my duo partners (fully bisexual interactive duos): - Emma Alexandra - The Lovely Dorinda - Victoria Jolie I'm a very lucky lady!!! :)

Too hard to pick one favorite! Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd The Ballad Of Dwight Fry - Alice Cooper http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVxr63WaRrs Iron Man - Black Sabbath http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MII3ns2KTBc For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) - AC/DC http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shcI6vE-PlE Three Angels - The Headstones Not a big fan of country music, growing up as a little "Fort" before I grew into the "Castle" that I am today, that's all I was exposed to. In my household everything else was "the devil's music"....and it bored. The. SHIT...of me! So when I heard the dark nature of the lyrics in this Johnny Cash song...it literally blew my mind. Opened up a whole new world of music for me...until then I didn't know songs were even allowed to have dark lyrics about ghosts in the skies chasing demonic red eyed cows on horses snorting fire. This song actually gave me nightmares. I shit you not. And I wanted MORE! :D So even though I'm not a country fan per se....this still remains one of my favorite songs: Ghost Riders In The Sky