Orpheo12

https://www.leolist.cc/personals/female-escorts/northern-ontario/thunder_bay_pay_cash_100_real_100_call_me_for_fu_ck_avaliable_tonigh-7325429?source=list

Simultaneously on Sydney, Summerside, Halifax and Thunder Bay! Check out her height and measurements.

On 12/1/2020 at 3:27 PM, Liv Waters said:

Screening and safety is serious business. Knowing it has differential impacts and sight lines, depending on our positions of power and privilege in this industry (which can fluctuate alot even in one life)... and, more, acknowledging that we do perform a certain drag of acceptability to be considered professional or in the know; that those problems are themselves sights of meaningful intervention, (social class, racial consciousness), 

 

I think of a few things.
 

Consumerism, respectability politics affects us in the ways we relate about safety, especially in spaces where we know our patrons see what we’re saying. Social justice takes precedence over optics, always. Each bleeding through the cracks and crevices and self-consciousness of it all. 

Very few of us would be able to effectively run our businesses in the ways described above.  But it does signal to an idea of exclusivity that can bolster our images while playing into a void where practices that stand outside of that are people who are imagined as inviting violence upon themselves. Infantilizing and, in the least, portraying people as not doing enough. We don’t have to say it directly. It just becomes invisible, inferred... the issues of power, those imbalances and that legal violence which remain. 

practical strategies, varied approaches, sharing community resources and wisdom take us outside of ourselves. 

 

What we desire and what is happening are not one in the same. In this way, when we do interviews that attempt to represent not only our business practices but also broader understandings of workers and clients  it’s good to make sure we know what we mean when we say this or that is essential. That is, especially in a racist settler culture where GFE and or companion work often involves swallowing other peoples’ anxieties about being caught seeing a companion while being pert and sweet, all the while trying to keep ourselves in a good way. There’s a coded ness to those relations that permeate between and beyond rigid client/worker identities. I sure as hell hope so. I see that humanity every day. How do we activate it?

How do we to find ways to communicate across the strictures of entertainment, pleasure and encourage deeper truth telling? 
 

Is it ok to say that part of safety is also speaking truth for what it means to do this really meaningful work (my assertion)  while taking the greatest hits as it pertains to surveillance, isolation and comforting people who themselves actively benefit from our restrained conditions of work? What is the consequence of appearing well adjusted to such notions of gentility to maintain composure? How much if that is the healer is us working with what we have?... seeing through the fluff to run our game in the face of challenges. Seeing our fullness and receiving that of others should not mean omitting some of these troubles of mutual recognition. 
 

How can I stop colluding with power to allow a way of thinking through what it means to be safer? 
 

I can become unwittingly complicit in those fascinations because those power relations have currency and we need currency/value  to exist in relationships. 
 

I do not say this to over center myself or to attack either you Lydia or Emily. It’s not about individuals. It’s more a drop in the pond of dialogue to encourage community responsiveness (making Lyla receptive to a range of experiences and street smarts) and making sure we are centering efforts rooted in community when we are talking about pressing issues of how to keep ourselves safer. Screening and even after the screening. Empathy for what it looks like on the ground. 

I struggle through the myopia of these problems and am encouraged by community constantly. They are civic issues as much as they are couched as professional ones. 
 

Being raped, robbed, assaulted are things all of us share concern in. Many who would give their full name and have references enact violence against us on regular basis (overstepping boundaries, micro aggressions, stalking). Just as much of concern. 

 

I wonder, how, we on Lyla could help encourage topical interviews that do this centering work? Rooted in collaborative/justice oriented views of safety.
 

Without this I fear we will confuse personal  celebrity culture (rugged individualism) with justice and equity. The only way MFs are going to stop raping, robbing or otherwise messing with us is if we can mobilize strength of insight to know the difference. 

Thank you for your thoughts, Liv. You draw me toward my better self, wanting to cherish the humanity in SPs. If you follow my few posts, one was a survey that passed unnoticed, I'd love your responses to it. I think you would be a fascinating person to interview, Peace.

On 8/1/2022 at 9:53 PM, Lilbrownster said:

Heya everyone, I need a bit of advice.

Obviously for privacy, I won't mention who but a very nice lady I met at the start of this year has had a really tough time recently... A death of someone close, separated from her child, lost her apartment and in recent conversations with me, has mentioned wanting to die. She said she feels alone and that nobody is there to help her.

Since my day job is helping people, I offered to try to help her too (ie. at least help her come up with a plan to get back on her feet). She seemed really appreciative and open to it, but then she goes MIA every time I try to help her, only to come back 12-24 hours later saying things like she turns off her phone to forget about the world (or wishing everyone forgets her), or that she just sleeps all the time as an escape and that's why she wasn't responding.

I'm genuinely concerned for their wellbeing but it's not like I have their full name or address to even call the police for a wellness check. My work is pretty stressful, so adding the stress of worrying about this lady hasn't been great for my own mental health...

What should I do? I feel obligated to check in on her now, but am I overstepping boundaries? Or is it more of a risk to just leave her be (I don't want her to feel like nobody cares)? Or should I be leaving it and she can reach out if she actually wants help? Or is this person pulling one over on me and they're just seeking attention?

I only rarely see providers, maybe once every year or two so I've never been in this situation before... So I'd appreciate anyone's input!

 

TL/DR version: a lady who I saw once is going through a very rough patch, and I'm worried about her. I don't know if it's for attention or if she actually needs help.

EDITED. I have followed this post a couple of times and my gut says that no advice can be correct, because the circumstances of every individual are different. Long post coming. Using the M:F hetero pattern for clarity, but obviously men, women, Trans, Bi, can be any of these.

RESCUERS

I am a Co-Dependent "Rescuer" vulnerable to the "Pretty Woman" fantasy, imagining that Richard Gere can help Julia Roberts. But the truth is, she saved him! Now she may be a fiction (an SP with a heart of gold), but from what I see here, there are a great many SPs who work hard to keep their humanity, not become jaded, and genuinely care for their clients. As my shrink told me in 2001,, he does his work "with love" without getting confused by "Transference," by maintaining professional boundaries. So SPs may be way more mature at this than the average person; keeping "Love" well apart from "SEX." But a (former) Rescuer like me  "loves" the one in need so she will need him. That can get toxic. So SPs avoid the clients who start to "fall in love" with them. Dangerous.

Sometimes a Rescuer can actually help a victim get her act together

VICTIMS:

I victim wants to be rescued and does not take responsibility to help herself. When she learns to love herself and take responsibility for her own needs, she does not need the rescuer anymore. But Rescuers may turn Controlling to keep their partner in Victim Mind. Bad news. Either way, many Victims stay stuck begging for others to save them.

The victim mind is often rooted in real trauma. they really were VICTIMS. It is hard to heal. Most get stuck get stuck in addictive and obsessive behaviors.

CATFISHING:

A rescuer is easy prey to a scammer playing out the romantic fantasy of a damsel in distress. Pretty Woman turns out to be Cruella deVille, thinking, If it is all about money, who not take advantage of the suckers? Donald Trump.

But in my experience I have met far more Catfishing on dating sites. LL surely has many too, so beware!, But when I asked my SP for "Therapy" she was decent, honest, and acted genuinely caring (with her boundaries respected!). IMO SPs provide solace to a great many persons hurting bad, and desperate to feel loved through sex.

Is the OPs SP truly in need? Quite likely. Does she play the role to pump suckers? Quite likely, but maybe not. Real grief happens and can overwhelm anyone. In an industry where you have to PRETEND all the time, it must be really hard to be able to speak to someone with genuine trust, who provides genuine consolation. Isn't that why SPs often bond to each other?

But even if we are probably being played, and know it, some of us would rather help, even if we are pretty sure we are being played. WHY? In a world full of cruelty and deceit,acts of kindness proclaim our humanity, defending the  the virtue of caring for one another.

The Man of La Mancha knew his Dream was Impossible, and chose to pursue it anyway. That is nobiiity IMO.

MOST GUYS? Yeah, I know. I prefer being a softy, and chose to relate to a stranger with respect and honesty, even if they are acting out.  One poster said that Bad Boys do much better with the ladies IRL. Yes, I know. So be it. But the Bad Boys still have a hole in their heart. Mine is healing.

BTW, genuine co-dependency is not healthy. We have to love ourselves first. I am working the Twelve Steps of CoDA (CoDependents Anonymous) to get there. I am becoming far more the kind of man I genuinely respect, while learning to set my boundaries and walk away from the bottomless pits of neediness. My SP helped me Take care of my genuine need. A turning point. But it remains hard not going back for more.

From what I have observed in Lyla, most independent SP's manage to avoid getting sucked into dependency better than the rest of us. I am encouraged. But what to I really know?

Thanks, Skyler!

In my single experience with a safe SP, she consented to receive massage with clear boundaries, at no additional charge. This was negotiated in advance and her rate was high already (inclusive?). Like GFE lacking kissing, daty or bareback anything.

In a long-ago encounter with a MA including HE, I was delighted when she consented to massage and daty, but I imagine this was extraordinary.

As a client, I am torn between strong moral aversion to all forms of abuses of persons, and human trafficking especially, yet also respect the dignity of those who choose freely to rent out their bodies and provide emotional companionship for persons suffering from sexual addition, or feel themselves distressed by the lack of opportunities to express affection, share emotional intimacy, and enjoy sexual activities.,

Most of my life I have avoided all such service providers, yet I have a fascination including admiration with the challenges of sex workers and a desire to advocate for legalization and workers rights.

I imagine that few if any here at Lyla see themselves as victims of human trafficking, and that prospective clients want it that way, yet it is a simple fact that the level of human trafficking all over the world is rising, and very likely that the rewards of being human traffickers are maximized when those they control pretend not to be. If fact, I consider it very unlikely that in most forums (and even here) that any person actually in that situation will feel free to answer truthfully.

I did submit this as an anonynous poll, but it failed to upload.

I invite informed comments to these questions. Please do not bother with one liners. This post is for those in this community who share my concerns and have thought about it a lot.

For the question responses I ask that Human Trafficking be defined as occasional to constant performance of sexual services as a result of coercion by another person where the SP (you) did NOT feel free or safe to do otherwise: kidnapping; imprisoned; assaulted; extorted; denied basic human needs or forced into an addiction, with the result that the worker is forced to share most of their earnings with someone who controls them.

[Many workers in capitalism may feel this is true of them as slaves to the almighty dollar; but for most the risks and potential stigma are much lower!]

Using a scale of 1-5 for very little to very much, please expand on your insights in your answer to each relevant question:

1) In your opinion as a SP or equivalent, how common is human trafficking that you have observed in the industry, and are you free to answer honestly?

2) If you are free to answer honestly, and if saying so will not traumatize you, as a SP or equivalent how often have you personally experienced such coercion?

3) As a client, how unimportant (1) to very important (5) is it that your SP is not being trafficked, and you do or do not make special efforts to find SPs you BELIEVE are not victims?

4) As an SP or equivalent, how important is it for your clients to believe this? How often do they ask? How common are clients who actually prefer workers who are under genuine coercion? {Not slave/rape fantasies]

On 7/5/2022 at 2:11 PM, Rena said:

You guys do realize the deposit is so we know that it’s not a fake call and you can always cancel the e transfer you do realize that right ??? So I’m not sure why you men think it’s a some kinda big scams it’s to in sure it’s a real call a lot of you men call us book calls to fake address and it’s a big waste of time or you send us to your house and then don’t answer the phone looking out the window jerking off on some kinda cheep thrill of some kinda head game!! so when you send the deposit you can always cancel it you have a couple hours to cancel it out and it will be deposited right back into your account so stop your crying!!!! 

Sorry you have been scammed, Rena. With my bank e-transfers are explicitly non-refundable once accepted. But they can require a password that the client could provide upon making first contact. But that would be as bad as no deposit if the client was a fake. The other risk is banking information  and identity of the sender. In normal use regular folk could not hack the bank but I am not so sure about the Russian Mafia doing scams, identity theft, ransom and extortion  in the millions or billions.

bravenewworld1

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IMO you are part of the problem -- a reason why legit workers need deposits.

On 6/24/2022 at 5:06 PM, MissArtois said:

Depends on the type of scam...

 

If it's a bad provider booking someone for an hour then rushing them out the door in 15 min (or in that vein), then yes usually it's a case of: Delete Ad, Change Name+Number, Post Again Scam

 

But honestly (and rather unfortunately), I can look at page 1 in my home city almost any time of day, and at least half the ads will be using demonstrably stolen pics. (From what I can tell it's similar in most cities)

 

And those ads stay up because Leolist DGAF about that kind of scam, so long as they keep getting $ running the ads...

To be 100% clear my SP told me she did delete her ad because she booked up (after I posted this inquiry, but before our booking), and does so regularly in each city.

AND I totally agree about the percentage of probable fakes on LL. I just posted on that in the "Gift Cards" thread. Thank you for your replies.

I was solicited by two different (fake) SP's in Thunder Bay working the same scam: gift cards required but this is only disclosed once you have taken the bait. Then when arriving at the hotel she requests the codes BEFORE any form of meeting has taken place. STEAM gift cards are preferred. The seller at Walmart knew the scam so well she intercepted me and explained what would happen if I followed through.  If you pay you are probably funding Putin's war, and definitely helping in money laundering.

Both mine were via AdultFriendFinder pretending to be super horny, in to me (!!!) and make no mention of payment at all initially. Both sets of stolen pics (victims of romance scams, no doubt) were very beautiful, young but not SP in presentation (modest nudes with full faces), and way out of my league.

These scammers make it hard for legitimate SP's to be trusted when they request a deposit from a new client. But in my case, the bait and switch motivated me to seek out a verifiable SP for the first time.

Research! Check out recommended SP's on Lyla, and distrust most ads in LL or equiv. My last survey of TB ads suggested 50-80 % are probably fake. For example, multiple ads with identical descriptions, but different pics, or in different places at the same time? Too good to be true offers of anything and everything, usually with no mention of prices, or well below the standard.

But I reason that some legitimate SP's will use the same ad and pics in different places sequentially in different places.

Pics Provided:

1) Fake SP - edited to remove a pussy as sweet as her smile

2) Likely fake, current ad (name not given as she might be legit)

3) Likely real, temp in TB with reputation elsewhere (name not given by lack of permission)

4) Local "Amy" established in TB with recommendations (name given as she is known in Lyla)

5) & 6) Legit SP, "Skyler" - verified by experience, and recommended, but has vanished after Winnipeg

This Skylar? I also found her genuine and sweet. May 2022.

15 hours ago, MissArtois said:

 

Hey, as a SP/advertiser on Leolist, just wanted to chime in with a possible reason ads might show up as "Deleted" (When you get the "Sorry, this ad is no longer active" message), if that's alright 🙂

 

On the user interface, Leolist gives us the option to select "hide ad"- so the ad won't be deleted, but it will display the above message as though it were. Sometimes if I am making significant edits to an ad, I will do this til I'm able to finish them.

 

More commonly, I have heard some providers will hide their ad when they are done working for the day; hiding the ad will stop, or at least slow down, the amount of calls and texts they get once they're done. 

 

Lastly sometimes it really is deleted- like if a provider is just passing through, they may delete the ad so that after they've left they won't keep getting texts and calls for booking in a location they're no longer in. Or may delete if they're taking some time off, and don't want their phone blowing up. 

 

Wanted to offer that insight/different perspective on it, to clarify that there are normal/unconcerning reasons ads may be "deleted" sometimes. Hope this helps 🙂

 

Yes, as I have learned. You summarize it very nicely. Thank you.

On 5/18/2022 at 10:37 AM, Sugar Kayne said:

Its up to each individual to consider if a providers deposit is reasonable for them or not. 

 

I dont tell prospective clients what my red flags are 🤨🤨🤨 and I advise other ladies reading this to also not share what their red flags are.  Just think about it for a second here...  If we teach people how to circumvent our safety methods, then we dont have those safety methods available to protect us from anyone who means us harm!  Most people mean us no harm but it only takes one and I'm not making it easier on anyone to get through my barriers to entry.  I believe my screening and booking process has been nearly perfected over time and keeps me nice and safe.  I'd just as soon not have to find new ways to spot potential danger. 

 

All that being said, Most people who thorougly read the forum discussions are not going to have to worry about setting off a ton of red flags to even the most safety- consious providers.

 

A few things you can do without taking away SP safety measures are:

1) this ones easy... dont mean them any harm!! (Duh?) Lol😋 

2) read the "new to this" FAQ page -dm me if you cant find it and i will link you to it but try to find it on your own first

3) Most ladies share etiquette tips on their websites or ad posts for how to approach them in the way they prefer.  Follow those and you should be more than okay🤗

Sx

What I've learned:

Lyla recommendations are vital. Only today did I find 2nd and 3rd pages in TB started in 2010 include some SP I was trying to verify. Counsel and kindness here are gold.

IMO scamming is huge. NOT you! NOT here... but elsewhere, everywhere! In AFF in 2000 I met only real people. In AFF a month ago 20+ all working hard to pretend, and not a single context who proved to be legit. I should post on the indicators, but my point here is that people going crazy with the legitimate need for intimacy are extremely vulnerable, and the sharks are out there. So those shy about deposits don't know better, yet.

My advice to those like myself: never trust an unverified ad. Never try an SP who does not have reviews in depth. READ THE RECOMMENDATIONS. In a small market, ask those active here for SP's that can be trusted, and then help them get you properly vetted, and book paying a reasonable deposit. WE are the risk, to them.

I was lucky that my one and only encounter was with a real travelling companion I am not allowed to recommend yet. Money well spent, bbutnow it takes serenity to say "enough" when the budget says "no way!" A work in progress...

All this to plead for kindness for those thinking with their dicks, scared and vulnerable, whom have yet to learn how to navigate the minefield of seeking professional ccompanionship. For lonely hearts like these you empathic professionals really are lifesavers.

And guys... RESPECT!

Thanks to many esp. @Sugar Kayne @Janebondage Lydia, @clearbluesky15 and many Maritimers whose advice keeps Lyla worth the read...

On 4/29/2022 at 12:50 PM, Onceinawhile said:

This discussion is going around in circles, totally of the subject in question.

It’s time to end.

I am green enough that I have to follow a thread like this to understand what not to do. I am cluing in that sharing information is often (or always?) a boo-boo. and I can see how bruised egos prompt responses... and then there are members who just want to engage . . . hmmm. My ears are burning?

4 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I'm glad you had a great experience ! Yes, that is a bit tricky, more so if you are trying to set up an appointment in the next day or so. One thing recommended in a couple threads if you don't want to yield the day to a response cycle (many SPs have 'regular/civie' jobs) is to set expectations on when you need a response if you are limited on lead-time. In your case, if there was a response after a week or so, I doubt there would be any hard feelings if you politely indicated you'd made other plans. '

Regarding 'content count' ... not sure. I doubt there's any hard feelings. As GT indicated, things are a little more ambiguous since we lost our most active administrator. I suspect a couple more responses to threads and you'll be fine. 

Again, welcome to the board!

 

Thank you. I appreciate the generosity of many providing substantial replies. I am forgetting the name of the Admin you likely mean (Hardisty?) who had a devoted and appreciative following into 2021. I hope she is ok?

I am new here a few weeks. I started a few threads, and had a total "content" count of 10 when I posted a recommendation two hours ago. I was scolded for doing so without having already posted 5 posts?

1) I can't find the rule saying that is not allowed, or at least, stating how a member reaches the permitted threshold.

2) My content count led me to believe that I had reached that threshold.

3) I am also puzzled by reputational points, noting that some members with only 2 comments have 1000 points. 

4) Where are these things explained? I have been looking.

5) Is it just me, or have other new members had teething pains?

6) I have found LYLA Invaluable at helping me avoid scammers, and want to be a positive community member.

52 minutes ago, Orpheo12 said:

Thank you, @clearbluesky15, I did confirm Monday morning, met Skyler Monday evening, and just posted a recommendation. Meanwhile two others I had texted (earlier?) also replied the same day. Learning the proper etiquette is not easy, as inquiries from days and weeks ago had gone unanswered. The exception is @Sugar Kayne who corresponded kindly over the same period and I thank her again, though we have not met.

Apparently I violated policy by attempting to post my recommendation... but my content count was at 9 or 10 when I posted it... and I was told I had not yet made 5 posts... how are these counted?

14 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I'm not sure what "possible" appointment refers to, and would recommend against negotiating. 

When in doubt, suggest moving on to someone else unless you'd already confirmed an appointment time.

Thank you, @clearbluesky15, I did confirm Monday morning, met Skyler Monday evening, and just posted a recommendation. Meanwhile two others I had texted (earlier?) also replied the same day. Learning the proper etiquette is not easy, as inquiries from days and weeks ago had gone unanswered. The exception is @Sugar Kayne who corresponded kindly over the same period and I thank her again, though we have not met.

On 5/26/2022 at 4:26 PM, kutteguy said:

I would say be careful. "she" just provided me with a room number and said to come on in.

I am in Thunder Bay and not finding genuine responders. Nita's ad was up last night but gone today. Might you confirm if you met her and she can be trusted? 

New Thunder Bay ads yesterday on Leolist and negotiated with a "Skylar" via text (587-8923958)  for possible appointment for this evening May 30, but her ad (and others) are gone this morning. Usually old ads remain by date indefinitely. I did not save the ad or photos. Advice?

On 5/18/2022 at 2:19 PM, Exotic Touch Danielle said:

Probably because we have personal lives that come first ... families... businesses...maybe we just don't feel like being available at that time or maybe we have set hours we are available between

But I find it hard to believe there are never none available.... 

 

Hi Danielle,

I agree -- but am also waiting not so patiently for a response. A long conversation with a local Lyla member who recommended others (TY! ) and says I can't afford her. Several introductions to others and no response at all. I think the reality is that Thunder Bay has very few if any really active. So what advice can you offer to a SP virgin no-one has actually met? 😉

EDIT: the first text was weeks ago and the conversation with SK over several weeks since. Last three introductions Friday with my birthday tomorrow. Guess I should have asked for a bike?

On 5/7/2022 at 6:46 PM, Janebondage said:

Believe it or not, provider or not, as a female hobbyists I get super shy too. I always feel so awkward and hate booking new providers for the first time. It gives me actual anxiety. No joke, I tend to regular the same people to avoid it. Trust me…no here would call me shy.  Panic is a thing and is less uncommon than you think.

Your likely either not doing your homework looking into the ladies you book or something is off in the approach. Maybe a bit of both? 🙂

I am sure one of the gents will swing by here latter and link off some tips on homework. On my end I will say, keep in mind with strangers written form is hard to decipher. Don’t talk around things or make us chase you for basic information.  I also can’t read between the lines if your talking around things to be polite. I mean be polite, ☺️ but there  is no body language or voice to add the tone. You need to have a clear a clear message as to who you are, what you seek and when you had in mind. 

Lastly, I am biased here as I am a provider that only takes new clients with deposit. However, if your doing the above and having a hard time….book a reputable provider that seeks a deposit!

 

Just make sure she has a reputable name that she won’t want Loose. Scammers don’t care they are changing their names/pics/# all the time. For the ladies that their name is their brand they aren’t going to try to screw you over $100.

I turn down muli hour bookings that come up all the time because I have a single hour on the books with deposit. We all have…that deposit is our contract to you as well as yours to us. It protects your time as well as it protects our time. Plus a client putting it out there tells me he’s serious and respects my time and that’s a nice way to start the process. 😘

 

If your not willing to put a deposit down make sure you do your homework on verifying pics/other adds using them type deal. Watch for a repeated number in several ladies profiles, they have hidden management. Beware of posts that offer 24/7, party friendly, or unprotected sex. 🥺 They aren’t taking care of themselves. Don’t expect them to take care about you. Sure there are exceptions but your gonna get screwed over a lot finding them. 

Lastly, why don’t you drop me a message consistent to what you usually send a new provider. Don’t edit it to reflect the advice here. Send exactly what you send and I will give you private feed back on my end. I can only speak to me personally and not all providers. Just make sure it’s private in dm so we’re not affected by an audience. 
😘

I hope something in there helps.  If not Kimmys right on your likely in a shit list. 

Really appreciate your advice to the OP. Clear, assertive, almost... commanding 😉

On 2/24/2022 at 8:54 AM, Sugar Kayne said:

Its pretty simple.. I ask for deposits now because im done being scammed out of time and effort, as well as revealing the location of my discreet place of business.  So many clients dont even bother to show up for appointments, or theyre new and get cold feet, or they suddenly have been called out of town for work right before the appointment.  

Im sorry you fell prey to hopefully a hard to spot fake, but the thing is:

If you are no good at spotting fakes, you should learn how to spot them instead of expecing people to change their business model.  Like, the entitlement!!

 

Id be shocked if youve been scammed by a verified provider here that seems legit and has recommendations from various established client accounts.  But even if it did happen that would be the rare exception and they wouldnt pull off such a scam for long here on lyla.

 

If you dont want to do your homework, dont be upset you get a bad grade lol

 

Others suggested seeing providers that dont ask for deposits. You couldve done that without posting. You just want special treatment and/or a place to complain. 

 

I do feel bad for some of the people who get scammed, like elderly and other vulnerable groups of people, but this industry is no worse than any other for scams. There are email scams, phone scams, tax scams, puppy scams, to name a few  They often prey on the most vulnerable.  You are unfairly blaming the industry, and the providers in it, for your own mistakes. You arent even complaining about scammers themselves, who arent actual providers!! Youre not here going "screw that introverted incel of a man who pretended to be a SW and tricked me, scammers should be punished by law" or anything. Youre really out here slamming the legit SWers for not making thenselves more vulnerable so you can avoid the risk of being scammed instead of just doing your research! 

 

No one has to give a deposit, but if most or all the providers are asking for one, is it that far fetched to think that we are doing so for a good reason? No, its not.

 I have to get ready when someone books, but they dont have to show up. Sure they dont get service but I cant get my time, effort or discretion back. It shouldnt cost those people NOTHING when it costs me so much.

 

Maybe if I asked for 50 or even 100%, i could see that being reason for me as a provider to not follow through w an appointment, unless I was travelling.  A nominal deposit ensures the providers time isnt wasted. I put a lot of time into being at my best for my clients and Id hate to stop doing so bc I cant afford the time to shower and primp anymore since no shows wasted all my time for the day.  Travelling companions almost always ask for deposits, from new people, at least, and they seem to be doing just fine and so do their clients who do deposits. I dont think its an industry problem. Is it a CRA problem that scams pretend to be them? Correct me if im wrong, but I havent noticed them changing their policy due to scams.  They put out public service announcements educating the public how to spot fakes.

 

I cant charge your credit card like your doctor or dentist when you dont show up for your appointment or cancel last minute. I gotta do something, and not asking for a deposit and getting the barrage of no shows again, isnt the answer. Maybe you should write a post berating all the clients who book and dont show up instead; they are the ones who ruined it for you, not the service providers that are just trying to find legitimate clients.

Thank you, Sugar Kayne. What is a reasonable deposit, since you reputable SW's need that? How do you vet me, as a Newbie? I gather an immediate "come on over" is a red flag. Finding current profiles with recommendations has not been easy. From my short time at Adultfriendfinder, IMO the majority (80-90%!?) of straight female profiles are scammers. My direct knowledge is thin, but most of my contacts follow the patterns. So strong assurances and verification are needed on both sides.

On 2/14/2022 at 1:53 PM, Mikeyboy said:

I'm sorry this has happened, but I'm afraid you have to take some responsibility for this yourself. You've posted in another thread that it has happened to you multiple times. You know the old adage: Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. 😉

Long story short, stop sending money to people with nothing to lose by ripping you off. Established ladies with good reputations simply won't. (It would be stupid to risk their reputation and their investment for such a small amount of money.) 

Things to look for:

Multiple recommendations from established members over time. (Not just first posts from a new accounts.)

Social media presence that is established (active and not new)

Professional Website

Photos in ads that aren't stolen (learn to do an image search)

Basically, any indication that it is someone who has put time, effort and money into establishing their business.

If you can't find those things, then don't send a deposit. Plain and simple. Otherwise, a fool and his money....

 

 

TY for necessary advice.

2 hours ago, Kilo21 said:

Pics are a pornstar named Sarah Vandella, it's a definite scam

Follow-up. Is it legit for a SP to ask for an etransfer before meeting? How does the client avoid being scammed? But, also how does the SP protect herself and be assured of payment?

https://www.leolist.cc/personals/female-escorts/northern-ontario/thunder_bay_simply_one_of_a_kind_i_truly_am_the_full_package-7049118?source=list

Attractive new profile on Leolist.

Accepted me immediately despite my lack of recommendations. Identified herself freely as Sarah Cooke. Assured me that no deposit was expected and accepts cash only. Told her I was going to the bank for cash, and no objections raised. Arrived at Holiday Inn Express and only then invoiced by per "pimp" Diamond Escorts for a $500 etransfer "security deposit" before meeting. Would not consent to being seen prior to payment being made. After I refused IMO the image she texted as temptation to cave was not the same girl as "Sarah" in the LL ad.

This pattern was identical - except for the form of irreversible payment - as Jane/Lover00022 who solicited me through Adultfriendfinder.com two weeks earlier. Even the "I don't understand' playing dumb. I have not Google searched her photos yet. Maybe she is legit, but having been almost scammed once, I'd rather stay horny than end up still horny, stood up, feeling like an idiot, and $500 poorer. This is preciselty the pattern that was warned against in reviews here. Thanks Lyla. Now, any legit Escorts want to helpo me out?