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I agree the price listed should be all inclusive, not matter what happens in the alloted time. NO extras, or upselling.

 

I have been in done iin 10 and did not ask for a refund cause it was so quick. Now when she is pushing me out the door I am hurt cause I did ask for a hour and pay for it. Even if we just chat, not necessarly looking for MSOG. Just the time I asked and paid for.

 

I do ask ladies things it helps me to feel out what time of person they will once we meet up. Mostly I want to have a fun time, with in our time. Often I will till the Ladies lets start with an hour and see how it goes and maybe extend it. It all depends on chemistry once we meet.

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The way I see it is I'm charging for my time which a minority group of guys who hobby fail to understand. I'm a human being, not a machine offering a certain service. I'm not a piece of steel in a factory doing the same thing all day long.

 

You pay my rate for a certain amount of time and whatever you wish to transpire within my previously discussed limits and boundaries on my end will be offered whether it's oral, fullservice or both. I have people who pay my rate and many don't even want fullservice so what does that tell you?

 

This is a similar argument just like when some guys ask escorts out to dinner off the clock and think that they shouldn't have to pay because it's not something that happens in the bedroom. They fail to understand that by asking us out to dinner could be spent with another client and we would be getting paid for it. It is our time they are paying for... not for a blowjob or having dinner.

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Guest n**se_**n
The way I see it is I'm charging for my time which a minority group of guys who hobby fail to understand. I'm a human being, not a machine offering a certain service. I'm not a piece of steel in a factory doing the same thing all day long.

 

You pay my rate for a certain amount of time and whatever you wish to transpire within my previously discussed limits and boundaries on my end will be offered whether it's oral, fullservice or both. I have people who pay my rate and many don't even want fullservice so what does that tell you?

 

This is a similar argument just like when some guys ask escorts out to dinner off the clock and think that they shouldn't have to pay because it's not something that happens in the bedroom. They fail to understand that by asking us out to dinner could be spent with another client and we would be getting paid for it. It is our time they are paying for... not for a blowjob or having dinner.

 

Agreed - the rate is for time. I have had times where the entire time has been spent talking and sipping wine...

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The way I see it is I'm charging for my time which a minority group of guys who hobby fail to understand. I'm a human being, not a machine offering a certain service. I'm not a piece of steel in a factory doing the same thing all day long.

 

You pay my rate for a certain amount of time and whatever you wish to transpire within my previously discussed limits and boundaries on my end will be offered whether it's oral, fullservice or both. I have people who pay my rate and many don't even want fullservice so what does that tell you?

 

This is a similar argument just like when some guys ask escorts out to dinner off the clock and think that they shouldn't have to pay because it's not something that happens in the bedroom. They fail to understand that by asking us out to dinner could be spent with another client and we would be getting paid for it. It is our time they are paying for... not for a blowjob or having dinner.

 

I'm just wondering though, just because we are hobbiest, doesn't mean that we aren't people to, and just because you guys may be an sp or a ma doesn't mean that you guys aren't people. If I were to ask an sp ir ma out to diner on a personal level I wouldn't expect to pay if you said yes, but if I asked you out in relation to business or accompaniment I would expect to pay. But if say I ask an sp or ma out to a social diner to try and establish a real connection and you have a sudden booking and have to cancle I wouldn't mind. I'm not trying to offend someone, just trying to make a point that spa and mas can have a social experience with a price tag, after all you guys don't charge your friends if they want to hang out.

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I'm just wondering though, just because we are hobbiest, doesn't mean that we aren't people to, and just because you guys may be an sp or a ma doesn't mean that you guys aren't people. If I were to ask an sp ir ma out to diner on a personal level I wouldn't expect to pay if you said yes, but if I asked you out in relation to business or accompaniment I would expect to pay. But if say I ask an sp or ma out to a social diner to try and establish a real connection and you have a sudden booking and have to cancle I wouldn't mind. I'm not trying to offend someone, just trying to make a point that spa and mas can have a social experience with a price tag, after all you guys don't charge your friends if they want to hang out.

 

I think what is being missed is this...yes the ladies are companions, professional companions, meaning that they are seeing you in exchange for money...they are not in this profession to be asked out at a social level for a date. And at least for me, I'm not using this lifestyle to meet, date and marry the woman of my dreams.

Yes, it is a very unique lifestyle. Very intimate, social and interpersonal, but the lady does so for monetary compensation. And underlying this is no strings. It is, or is supposed to be, a simple and uncomplicated arrangement. Expect any asking out to be considered by the lady as being asked out for a paid encounter, not a date at a social level

And a SP, like every other person has a private personal life with friends. You are part of her professional life, and not part of her personal life

Respect the boundries, don't assume because an SP is being intimate with you she wants a personal relationship with you, she is a professional companion

RG

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Its kind of an occupational hazard that I think you should probably have to put up with considering how much you charge for your time. A lot of people just don't have that much money to pay for that much time. Some people are not in it for the time.

I do understand how it is rude and offensive to you to ask for just one act for a certain price. I am not suggesting it is not. Try not to take it personal, the person asking doesn't know you.

(and it wasn't me!)

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Guest Lep*******1**7

As mentioned, any professional can set their own ground rules for how they do business.

 

I tend to favour transparency and simplicity whenever possible. Post your prices and services to allow the client to make an informed decision about accepting these terms or not. If they have questions, they can try to clarify them in advance by reviewing posted information or by making a query by e-mail. The client could also ask for the possible terms of obtaining additional services outside of the norm. In some circumstances, the provider may not feel comfortable sharing details in writing or over the phone, but the client should feel fairly comfortable about what to expect in terms of cost, time and services available when they arrive on the service provider's doorstep.

 

Clarity, good communication and a mutual verbal engagement go along way in smoothing any transaction, whereas ambiguity or uncertainty can lead to disappointment and deception, emotions that do not good for any party.

 

If the client is not satisfied with the terms of the engagement before committing to meet, they should politely walk away and advise the provider of that decision if she may be awaiting for a response. Once the client engages the professional, they have also agree to pay the going rate without hassle or haggling.

 

By the time the client meets the provider, money should not be a subject for debate, it should be provided discretely in an open envelope. The unfortunate habit of some to see all things in life as negotiable, based on their whims, does not consider the importance of maintaining respect for the service provider and for the intimacy of the experience being shared. The basic principle of not mixing business with pleasure should be be respected as long as both parties hold up their end of the verbal deal. One example of a broken deal would be in a bait-and-switch situation, where the client should be in their rights to walk away without paying anything.

 

The Cowboy's Diaries provides ample examples of this unfortunate type of fraud, which a site like CERB is so helpful in eliminating. While negative reviews are not allowed, if I were to search for a name and there was nothing positive to be found, that could mean that the person has joined CERB relatively recently and has not been reviewed, or that clients do not have a lot of positive things to say about the person.

 

Some may argue that a more open-ended, a la carte approach

is more user-friendly to clients of intimate services. But working with a sliding scale of cost based on time and an itemized approach to services could lead to more headaches for all than it is would appear to be worth at first glance.

 

I can see such bed-side negotiations as big turn-offs for both the client and the professional. Nothing better than a little verbal friction to sour the tone of the evening.

 

The "flexible" approach could also have some other unintended consequences. Clients may feel entitled to ask the service provider for a rebate if he only had time to experience two of the four services offered; did not experienced quite as much pleasure as he had anticipated ; or he quite simply couldn't get it up, despite the valiant efforts of the provider. I think we could all agree that the scenario described is clearly unreasonable and unworkable.

 

Bargain shopping and cherry picking in such circumstances can make the client look cheap and is offensive to the professional. Money is a a key component in the client provider relationship, but it should not end up spoiling the potentially pleasurable experience for both. Those seeking deals should be directed to W-mart or-Tire. Or maybe he thought he was at Mr. Lube and he could use his 15% off coupon for some more intimate services.

 

As well as the principles of transparency about prices and services, the concept of YMMV is an important one to be clear about. The provider may provide a list of service and may even state that she is "open", but this should not be interpreted as a requirement that the professional provide all services in all circumstances. The time factor is the first that would limit how may services a client can indulge in without turning the experience into a marathon. In addition, we must remind ourselves that the relationship between the service provider and the client is not one of master and servant. It is one based on a verbal agreement, trust, mutual respect and equality.

 

To me this means that the professional should always have the discretion to refuse to provide certain services to certain clients, in particular circumstances. One circumstance may be that the provider does not know the client well enough to provide some more potentially risky or intimate services. Just like in any other relationship knowledge and trust about one another may grow over time and allow for a better grasp of needs and limits.

 

Another reason a professional may limit services provided, may be because the client is disrespectful; verbally or physically abusive. In such circumstances I would hope that the service provider would stop and ask the guy to leave.

 

Well this ended up to be a lot more rambling and far ranging than I had planned. I hope I have not offended to many or hi-jacked the thread. That was not my intention.

 

L

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If I were to ask an sp ir ma out to diner on a personal level I wouldn't expect to pay if you said yes

 

Why on earth not? You're still taking up the same amount of the lady's time, whether you spend it in bed or tied to the wall or dining in a top-notch restaurant. Which was, I think, the point Nicki was making in the first place.

 

Unless, of course, you're looking to embark on a relationship outside the hobby, which is a whole different ballgame...

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Why on earth not? You're still taking up the same amount of the lady's time, whether you spend it in bed or tied to the wall or dining in a top-notch restaurant. Which was, I think, the point Nicki was making in the first place.

 

Unless, of course, you're looking to embark on a relationship outside the hobby, which is a whole different ballgame...

 

If it is a date with the idea of leading to a relationship, then I really think the lady should initiate and ask the gentleman out, to make it clear it is a social date, not a paid encounter. When a gentleman asks asks a SP out it is going to be seen as a client asking a SP for an encounter, with the lady receiving compensation for her time

I'm not saying a relationship couldn't develop between a SP and Client, but I don't think one should enter into this lifestyle expecting a relationship beyond that of SP and Client. It complicates what is supposed to be uncomplicated.

RG

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Why on earth not? You're still taking up the same amount of the lady's time, whether you spend it in bed or tied to the wall or dining in a top-notch restaurant. Which was, I think, the point Nicki was making in the first place.

 

Unless, of course, you're looking to embark on a relationship outside the hobby, which is a whole different ballgame...

 

See that was the point I was trying to make, I personally wouldn't do it, but some hobbiest may develop a stronger connection to a sp or ma and want to get to no them more on a social level then a "commercial" level. That was the point I was trying to make. I wasn't saying that if I were to ask an sp just to diner that I shouldn't have to pay her, but if I made my point come accross that I would like to "befriend" her on a personal and social level outside of work "hours" then I wouldn't be expecting to pay because I'm not looking for any other outcome. I'm just saying that hobbiest and dps/mas can become friends, after all we are all people

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I agree. If someone wants "only" one service he/she should look for a SP who says that is all they are offering and no more. By the way I've not seen too many adds like this? That should say something! So I guess "time" is what counts, for whatever you are interested in within the limits of the SP.

 

G.:cooter:

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I have no issue paying the regular hourly rate if I only want one thing in particular. Only seems fair since it's my choice to not want it all, right?

 

It's all about knowing what you want and deciding what houry rate is worth getting the satisfaction you desire.

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When I see my lawyer, it's his time that counts, not the purpose I see him. Sometimes it is only to make sure I dont miss something, and sometimes it's for more complex issues. At the end, his invoice is more expensive for simple matters, because I took more of his time.

 

In my view, when I want to see a SP, it is the same; I see her, and what purpose has nothing to do with the invoice I will receive. Everything is about her time. Period.

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See that was the point I was trying to make, I personally wouldn't do it, but some hobbiest may develop a stronger connection to a sp or ma and want to get to no them more on a social level then a "commercial" level. That was the point I was trying to make. I wasn't saying that if I were to ask an sp just to diner that I shouldn't have to pay her, but if I made my point come accross that I would like to "befriend" her on a personal and social level outside of work "hours" then I wouldn't be expecting to pay because I'm not looking for any other outcome. I'm just saying that hobbiest and dps/mas can become friends, after all we are all people

 

What I have come to notice since starting out as an independent is that as an SP I am providing a service to the customer. I am offering my time and my companionship for a fee and that is what you have come to me for. End of story.

Some men seem to get confused once the initial date has ended. Our job is to provide you a wonderful experience because that is what you came to me for and what you are paying for.

Once in awhile you get the men who get confused because we did such a good job they misunderstand the professional experience for a personal one. Sometimes sex can complicate things for people and emotions can get wound up when something feels good. We do not go into this job wanting to make friends on a personal level or looking to have people take us out to dinner. We already have friends and people we spend time with when we are not doing the work we have outlined with you.

Although our professional work is pleasure, our initial meaning is you do not mix business with pleasure. Some men don't see the harm in asking and get offended when we say no. But for every man that does ask think how many have asked before you?

If we did choose to accept every offer where we are going on dates as ''friends'' we would not be able to accept the offers of the people who are offering to pay for the service.

For the most part there is no need to become ''friends'' with your SP. It is great to have a professional relationship with your SP/MA but why would we do what your are asking because you want it on a friendship level, when we are offering the exact same thing to others for the exchange of payment. I know when I get the offer for that experience to me it sounds as if you just don't want to have to pay for the effort and experience I put into every encounter.

It complicates something that should be a very non-complicating event. It makes us feel not so good about the situation because once an offer has been extended for a free dinner, if we say no do we now lose you as a client?

If I say yes do you expect every time to be a ''friendly'' encounter?

It's best that when the time is up you both go back to the way things were until the next time you choose to see your preferred SP.

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What I have come to notice since starting out as an independent is that as an SP I am providing a service to the customer. I am offering my time and my companionship for a fee and that is what you have come to me for. End of story.

Some men seem to get confused once the initial date has ended. Our job is to provide you a wonderful experience because that is what you came to me for and what you are paying for.

Once in awhile you get the men who get confused because we did such a good job they misunderstand the professional experience for a personal one. Sometimes sex can complicate things for people and emotions can get wound up when something feels good. We do not go into this job wanting to make friends on a personal level or looking to have people take us out to dinner. We already have friends and people we spend time with when we are not doing the work we have outlined with you.

Although our professional work is pleasure, our initial meaning is you do not mix business with pleasure. Some men don't see the harm in asking and get offended when we say no. But for every man that does ask think how many have asked before you?

If we did choose to accept every offer where we are going on dates as ''friends'' we would not be able to accept the offers of the people who are offering to pay for the service.

For the most part there is no need to become ''friends'' with your SP. It is great to have a professional relationship with your SP/MA but why would we do what your are asking because you want it on a friendship level, when we are offering the exact same thing to others for the exchange of payment. I know when I get the offer for that experience to me it sounds as if you just don't want to have to pay for the effort and experience I put into every encounter.

It complicates something that should be a very non-complicating event. It makes us feel not so good about the situation because once an offer has been extended for a free dinner, if we say no do we now lose you as a client?

If I say yes do you expect every time to be a ''friendly'' encounter?

It's best that when the time is up you both go back to the way things were until the next time you choose to see your preferred SP.

 

Yes, the encounter is very intimate and personal. But what you are getting besides the intimacy and very personal encounter is the no strings, no drama, no complications for the donation. If you truly consider the lady a friend, or more, why would you try to shortchange a friend by having free dinner dates, and so on. The lady is doing this for her livelihood.

I have made, what I consider, some friends with benefits, for lack of a better term in this lifestyle. But that doesn't mean I get free dates...no.

And no, I'm not looking for a free date, to me that would be one of the most disrespectful things I could ask from a lady. What it does mean is the lady and I have got to know one another, through repeated encounters, and are more relaxed and comfortable, enjoying talking about personal matters in our respective lives for example. And the ladies I have met are every bit as important to me in my life as are other people (family, friends) in my life, it's just that I have to compartmentalize this aspect of my life.

But at the end of the day all ladies I see would always receive their full donation. And all boundaries respected, including the fact that at it's core, irrespective of the intimate interpersonal aspect of this lifestyle, this is the lady's livelihood, and I'm not going to shortchange any lady of her income

RG

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What I have come to notice since starting out as an independent is that as an SP I am providing a service to the customer. I am offering my time and my companionship for a fee and that is what you have come to me for. End of story.

Some men seem to get confused once the initial date has ended. Our job is to provide you a wonderful experience because that is what you came to me for and what you are paying for.

Once in awhile you get the men who get confused because we did such a good job they misunderstand the professional experience for a personal one. Sometimes sex can complicate things for people and emotions can get wound up when something feels good. We do not go into this job wanting to make friends on a personal level or looking to have people take us out to dinner. We already have friends and people we spend time with when we are not doing the work we have outlined with you.

.

 

There are many professional activities where the provider offer a nice and kind relationship, a caring one, an understanding one, and in the case of a SP an intimate one, but... for a nurse, a psychologist, a therapist, a doctor, it's not because they are really nice with me that I should expect that they will become my "friend" or the "love of my life". Yes, their services are friendshiplike relations, but the line is clear. They even have a code of ethics that forbids personal relationships with their patients.

 

To fall in love with a SP or to become fond of her is part of the nature of this business. After all, we want to meet beautiful women, that are nice with us, accept us as we are, and so on, and that, can make my feelings aroused. And, in a way, that is what we all want... without having the bonds of a "commited" relationship.

There are many kinds of relationship, some are "instrumental" like the relation we have at the gas pump or with the mailman; some are more "functional" like the business relationships or with most of our co-workers; other are "significative" relationships, and those are rare and are part of the overall world of personal relationships.

 

Every kind of relationships have their own value and importance in our lives. I would say that the SP/hobbiest relationship is a "functional" one. A very nice one. For me, to understand my expectations with a SP like that make things very simple.

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There are many professional activities where the provider offer a nice and kind relationship, a caring one, an understanding one, and in the case of a SP an intimate one, but... for a nurse, a psychologist, a therapist, a doctor, it's not because they are really nice with me that I should expect that they will become my "friend" or the "love of my life". Yes, their services are friendshiplike relations, but the line is clear. They even have a code of ethics that forbids personal relationships with their patients.

 

To fall in love with a SP or to become fond of her is part of the nature of this business. After all, we want to meet beautiful women, that are nice with us, accept us as we are, and so on, and that, can make my feelings aroused. And, in a way, that is what we all want... without having the bonds of a "commited" relationship.

There are many kinds of relationship, some are "instrumental" like the relation we have at the gas pump or with the mailman; some are more "functional" like the business relationships or with most of our co-workers; other are "significative" relationships, and those are rare and are part of the overall world of personal relationships.

 

Every kind of relationships have their own value and importance in our lives. I would say that the SP/hobbiest relationship is a "functional" one. A very nice one. For me, to understand my expectations with a SP like that make things very simple.

 

Althought I understand where you are coming from, Falling in love with an SP is not intended to be part of the nature of the business. We are offering the sexual companionship that you are lacking in your life, or not lacking and simply want to spice things up. I do not think you will find ANY Sps who are offering an option to be your surrogate lover. We offer an experience that is meant to release the needs whether it be sexual or for companionship but once that time is up you are meant to go back to your life and I to mine.

Sometimes lines do cross and people get confused about boundaries but it should be treated just like you said as doctor/patient, teacher/student, Those lines should not be crossed. It is meant as kind of a fantasy, and once the fantasy is over go back to your real life.

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Guest s******ecan****

To fall in love with a SP...... is part of the nature of this business..

 

 

No rather it is a hazard of the nature of this business. I'm sure it happens frequently but I'm also sure it rarely ends well.

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Althought I understand where you are coming from, Falling in love with an SP is not intended to be part of the nature of the business. We are offering the sexual companionship that you are lacking in your life, or not lacking and simply want to spice things up. I do not think you will find ANY Sps who are offering an option to be your surrogate lover. We offer an experience that is meant to release the needs whether it be sexual or for companionship but once that time is up you are meant to go back to your life and I to mine.

Sometimes lines do cross and people get confused about boundaries but it should be treated just like you said as doctor/patient, teacher/student, Those lines should not be crossed. It is meant as kind of a fantasy, and once the fantasy is over go back to your real life.

 

I agree with you in part Aubrey. No, falling in love with an SP is not intended to be part of the business. And if you keep your emotional head on straight you won't fall in love. But, and at least it's been my experience, you can "fall in like" with a lady LOL. In other words you can genuinely like a lady and she can genuinely like you. And I'm sure the ladies have some clients they like more than others, but that doesn't mean they love them. And many ladies, at least in my experience, offer much more than just sexual companionship. They offer companionship of which the sexual aspect is just part of the encounter. And not trying to sound glib here, but any two people (SP/Client) can have sex. But to have special connections, for lack of a better word, with a lady, her real personality and character have to come out. Sex is anatomy and services, to be blunt. But to genuinely click with someone, well, it's that intangible quality, personality if you will, that makes each of us unique that does that. And sex with someone you like, IMHO is much more enjoyable and special than anonymous sex for gratification only. And becomes even more enjoyable with ladies I've repeated with. But that's my opinion only. I see your point about lines could be confused. But as long as you keep your perspective and emotions in check, realizing that the lady is there because she is getting a donation, and the lady realizes that the guy, seeing as this is a poly amorous lifestyle, will likely see other ladies, you can genuinely like and respect (not love) each other.

So there are ladies I genuinely like and they like me. But I know if I wasn't able to pay for their time, they wouldn't see me. I do keep my perspective on this lifestyle, it doesn't mean I can't like a lady, but I know she is at the end of the day a professional companion.

I hope that rambling kinda makes sense

RG

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I've never understood a lower rate for oral only, maybe some ladies' mindset is different, but it seems to me that oral is more intimate than vaginal in a lot of ways. I've known women (on a personal basis, not pay-for-play) who don't want to receive oral until they knew me better - too intimate, they said, though who knows.

 

Anyway, IMHO, asking to pay less for oral only is just being cheap, or its someone who is used to quick and dirty street prostitution in their car. Not judging, just sayin...

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I've never understood a lower rate for oral only, maybe some ladies' mindset is different, but it seems to me that oral is more intimate than vaginal in a lot of ways. I've known women (on a personal basis, not pay-for-play) who don't want to receive oral until they knew me better - too intimate, they said, though who knows.

 

Anyway, IMHO, asking to pay less for oral only is just being cheap, or its someone who is used to quick and dirty street prostitution in their car. Not judging, just sayin...

 

 

Glad you said that. Next to kissing and a hug, oral, to me is far more intimate than other forms of physical/sexual acts. It is the one partner giving pleasure to the other partner. And that works both ways. It is a case of either being the giver or receiver. For a lady to give oral, she is focused on her partner receiving pleasure. For a man to give oral, he is focused on his partner receiving pleasure

Of all the acts that can be provided, oral, is the second most intimate, after kissing and hugging. And a lower rate, no, and if ladies' prices were by services then that service should certainly rate a higher

donation than some other services, not just due to the pleasure, but the intimacy as well.

RG

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Althought I understand where you are coming from, Falling in love with an SP is not intended to be part of the nature of the business. We are offering the sexual companionship that you are lacking in your life, or not lacking and simply want to spice things up. I do not think you will find ANY Sps who are offering an option to be your surrogate lover. We offer an experience that is meant to release the needs whether it be sexual or for companionship but once that time is up you are meant to go back to your life and I to mine.

Sometimes lines do cross and people get confused about boundaries but it should be treated just like you said as doctor/patient, teacher/student, Those lines should not be crossed. It is meant as kind of a fantasy, and once the fantasy is over go back to your real life.

 

Couple thoughts..

 

Just me alone I do know a couple Cerb fellas that sex is not even a part of the equation...it is the companionship and it is real.

 

For me personally this has never been a fantasy.... I used to have fantasies about one of my teachers :) This lifestyle however is my real life. I do what I do eyes wide open, loving every minute of it and it is real.

 

I do agree there are guidlines and work within them. Be respectful and respect those guidelines and then whatever happens .....happens.

 

I tend to use the "I" when voicing my opinion on a topic like this instead of "we" because we are all soo soo sooo different. SP's and hobbists alike.

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Completely agree with you Lee and RG, - its hard to express every situation ebcause not everyone is the same. Thank you for your input to my response:) its a tough explaination to give a response to and everyone has valid points

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Completely agree with you Lee and RG, - its hard to express every situation ebcause not everyone is the same. Thank you for your input to my response:) its a tough explaination to give a response to and everyone has valid points

 

And I completely understand where you are coming from Aubrey. As long as everyone keeps this lifestyle in context, and understands it is paid companionship, you can like the ladies you see and the ladies can like the gentlemen they see. But everyone needs to completely understand this lifestyle, the appropriate boundaries, and not confuse the intimacy with love. But it is hard to articulate, isn't it.

RG

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