Discretion....anyone????

[Ashley Ann 75247]

Hello guys:

 

Just wanted to share a recent experience of mine because I would like to know your thoughts on the matter, if any hobbiests have done this before, and if any of the ladies have ever experienced something like this:

 

Yesterday, I was out and about...went in to Lone Star restaurant for a take out order. When I walked in and approached the take out stand, which is at the bar..the first person I see is a repeat client , actually, I should now say former after what he pulled. I choose to overlook him and not pay him any attention at all, he was there with a friend..plus, that is just the way I am, I would rather risk some hurt feelings by ingoring the person rather than risk exposing them, or myself.

 

So as I am standing there, I can hear them chatting, and my former reg client says...you see her..I know her...his friend asks..you do...and my former reg client informs him that he has "fucked me a few times" his words, not mine...and that he met me on C>L, and that I am "one of those girls"...

 

Wow..my usual feisty self, wanted to say something, but I was speechless!

 

So ok, who does that? Do some of you guys feel that is necessary to share that type of info whenever and if ever you happened to run into an sp you have been with? And sp's ..has this happened to you? The whole thing really bugs me because I choose not to show my beautiful face lol, because I like being discreet and do not want to be recognized by anyone other than who I am spending time with, but at the same time..even that is not always a guarantee!!!

 

Do you think this is right and should be expected ...thanks in advance for your time to respond to this thread.

 

Vanessa

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

This guy was way out of line. This is totally unacceptable and you are right to send him to "no see" land!

[roamingguy 300291]

No excuses for that sort of behaviour, that's no way to talk to a lady, period

Kinda shows what he really thinks of you...absolutely no respect

All men aren't jerks, but he is

My thoughts

RG

[Andee 220524]

Unbelievable that someone could be so juvenile. It's unfortunate that he felt the need to brag to his friend at your expense. He actually said, you are "one of those girls". Well he is "one of those guys. An uncouth asshole.

 

It was very rude and uncalled for, but look at it this way. His friend doesn't know you, they don't know anyone else you know and you are likely never going to run into them again in public. And you will certainly never see this jerk again, so you should never have to worry about them again.

 

You are way to classy to let that loser get you down.

[outsider 1012]

Discretion is a must at all times. Out in public or not. It was really not nice of him to act this way. Like you said there is a reason why you don't show your face in your pictures.

It would be a different story if he would of simply said hello.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

It's abberant behaviour, that's for sure. It's depressing to even read about it.

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Vanessa, this in NO WAY supports what he said/did. I think the guy was disrepectful, classless, and an asshole. However, I can imagine the physchology that would go thru a guys head when he sees someone so sexy and beautiful that he might have had sex with and certainly if sitting with some buddies/friend and having a beer. It is kinda that dumb ass proud (trophy) thing. By him doing that and associating himself with you, in his mind, he brings himself up to your level.

 

Would have been best for him to just keep that thought in his little head, grin a little in remembering his time with you, and book you soon to recount the story and re-live the experience.

 

Men can be idiots. But not all of us.

 

Cub

[ekimout 188]

That was very unnecessary behaviour from him. Discretion is always important, and he had known of it in this situation.

 

Perhaps if he contacts you for a future date/appointment, you can decline on the grounds that, "he is one of those guys"

[MightyPen 67414]

Yeah, that's really horrible. Gives you good insight into his mind, though, that trying to score reputation with his buddy was more important to him than treating you with discretion and respect.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he's made that same dumb kind of mistake many times in his life, been deemed a jerk by those who recognized what he was doing, and lost a long line of what could have been valuable friends as a result. Cutting him off is fitting punishment.

[Angeltbay 612]

"one of thoes girls" thats just plain ignorant, and rude! i would stop seeing him too! thats just not acceptable!

[roamingguy 300291]

Vanessa, this in NO WAY supports what he said/did. I think the guy was disrepectful, classless, and an asshole. However, I can imagine the physchology that would go thru a guys head when he sees someone so sexy and beautiful that he might have had sex with and certainly if sitting with some buddies/friend and having a beer. It is kinda that dumb ass proud (trophy) thing. By him doing that and associating himself with you, in his mind, he brings himself up to your level.

 

Would have been best for him to just keep that thought in his little head, grin a little in remembering his time with you, and book you soon to recount the story and re-live the experience.

 

Men can be idiots. But not all of us.

 

Cub

 

Not getting into an argument, but this isn't the high school locker room (and I didn't even do it back then) and seeing the ladies isn't about notches on your belt and bragging rights, its about sharing some private intimate time together

Building your ego up by demeaning someone else, no way that is right, no matter which head is thinking

How would the guy like it if Vanessa came up in public to him, especially if he was with his family, and outed him.

What happens in private should remain private.

Nuff said

RG

[Winnipegcub 21293]

RG, I was in NO WAY justifying what he did. "Vanessa, this in NO WAY supports what he said/did. I think the guy was disrepectful, classless, and an asshole."

 

Simply trying to offer a perspective of what might have been going on in his head. But I think you missed that sentiment in my post. I hope others don't. However, if you do LET ME BE CLEAR. I IN NO WAY SUPPORT WHAT HE DID.

 

At minimum, Vanessa I hope you understand the perspective I offered.

 

Cub

 

Not getting into an argument, but this isn't the high school locker room (and I didn't even do it back then) and seeing the ladies isn't about notches on your belt and bragging rights, its about sharing some private intimate time together

Building your ego up by demeaning someone else, no way that is right, no matter which head is thinking

How would the guy like it if Vanessa came up in public to him, especially if he was with his family, and outed him.

What happens in private should remain private.

Nuff said

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

That is horrible Vanessa. The cruel and bitchy part of me would have smoothly chimed in on the conversation nearby and I would have said right in front of his buddy "Yeah I fucked him but it was nothing to write home about." Have fun with your left hand. Ciao." or something related to the size of his member. That would have brought him to his knees right there. You did the right thing by ignoring him and obviously putting him on your Do not see list but the feistiness in me would have come back with something real clever and demeaning towards him. If people want to insult someone then expect it back tenfold baby.

 

Locker room talk is expected among guys and a natural part of the ego but not in front of someone they've been in bed with or in earshot distance. He could have very well said it as soon as you left the restaurant but perhaps this is a blessing in diguise that he said it in front of you because now you know the real side of him and no longer have to pretend that you're pleasing him on an appt if he is that much of a jerk. Sorry, I don't want to paint all males with the same brush but some ( like in this case) are just so godamn stupid and childish. He obviously doesn't know the meaning of discretion and doesn't seem like he wants to know. I hope he's a member here and can read this because you're a idiot!! lol.

[Guest tr*****e]

Wow. This guy just needs to learn some manners. Why didn't he just say like, "hot chick, 9 o'clock' or something you would have at least not been offended at? Bragging gets us guys in soooo much trouble sometimes. XD

[April Dawn 12207]

Totally unacceptable! That guy is a loser and I hope he realizes why you won't see him again. Then again from the sounds of it, it will go right over his head.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Ashley Ann 75247]

Thanks guys, for ALL of your responses, very appreciated..BTW he is NOT a cerb member! Cerb gents would not pull that type of b.s. :icon_biggrin:

 

AND BTW: I should also mention, that this guy, was one of the most paranoid clients I have ever met when it came to DISCRETION...crazy huh, considering his tactics...He would always state how much he had to lose if anyone was to EVER find out...

 

Vanessa

xoxo

[roamingguy 300291]

RG, I was in NO WAY justifying what he did. "Vanessa, this in NO WAY supports what he said/did. I think the guy was disrepectful, classless, and an asshole."

 

Simply trying to offer a perspective of what might have been going on in his head. But I think you missed that sentiment in my post. I hope others don't. However, if you do LET ME BE CLEAR. I IN NO WAY SUPPORT WHAT HE DID.

 

At minimum, Vanessa I hope you understand the perspective I offered.

 

Cub

 

Cub

Sorry, wasn't arguing with you, and my post may have come out wrong (and I'm only on my first coffee after a late night)...I know the sentiment you are talking about (that's why my reference to the high school locker room)

I was just commenting more that that individual's psyche (ie notch on the belt attitude) is not an excuse in any way shape or form

Your comment that he is disrepectful, classless and an asshole, I agree wholeheartedly with you on that.

Actually I think you and I agree on this matter

Again, sorry if it was posted wrong, not my intent

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Thanks guys, for ALL of your responses, very appreciated..BTW he is NOT a cerb member! Cerb gents would not pull that type of b.s. :icon_biggrin:

 

 

The majority of guys here are nice but many of them are lurkers so who knows who they are and what they're like...

[mrrnice2 157005]

For any man to have an attitude such as you described and to have done what he did is really beyond me.

 

I am certain that the belief of keeping relationships with women private was never taught to me specifically, but in my general upbringing and personal development of an attitude of respect to all and perhaps to women in particular, it is difficult to fathom that behaviour.

 

I know that personally I have never shared bedroom talk with friends and buddies, even way back in the day when I was single and carefree and able to meet with whomever I wished to. That topic was always kept 100% private even when asked about it specifically, as guys tended to do. Just the right thing to do in my opinion.

 

Unless I am reading most of the men here incorrectly, I am of a mind that this sort of thing would probably be a rare behaviour from a client towards a SP, but I guess I have seen more than this one reference to a lack of discretion from men on here in my reading of various threads. Indeed that is unfortunate on many levels.

 

"One of those women." Wow. Unbelievable. The women I have met here have been awesome people. And to have met them has been my pleasure and privelege, and our interactions remain now and always between us alone.

 

Some of us, maybe most of us, share that mindset.

[jughead 45]

I have never run across lady from the hobby in public. There is never an excuse for this type of action.

 

I do try to watch what I say I choose more often than not to remain quiet and say nothing at all rather than say the wrong thing.

 

There have been times when I have said someting before I had actually though it trough all the way, by that time it is too late, it does happen. All I can to is try to learn from my mistakes.

 

There are times on this board that someone reads somthing in a post a twist what was said the wrong way. It happens all over the place, after all we are only human.

 

I think Vanesas did the right thing walked away, and kept thing from progressing to a very public specticial. I certainly hope that she informed the guy where things stood and why.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Sorry this happened to you. Completely uncalled for and disgusting actually. I think most guys are probably like myself and don't discuss this hobby with anyone let alone within earshot of an SP.

 

I have always been amazed at how these type of guys think they are better than the average person, they are rude and are blowbags that like to hear themselves talk. I know some of them, don't have the time of day for them and from my experience as their life goes on their friends list gets shorter.

 

Me being "one of those guys" happens to be quite partial and fond of "you type of girls" FYI...:icon_wink: More so as I spend more time on Cerb!

 

Good riddance to the guy my dear !!

[Winnipegcub 21293]

No problem RG! I think 2 guys like us may describe it differently but we can both agree and recognize when we see a jerk. Vanessa said it best; "Cerb gents would not pull that type of b.s. :icon_biggrin:"

 

We are 2 such gents.

 

Back to the thread: obviously Vanessa you rose to the opportunity and demonstrated the class you have. I have huge admiration for that. Its the actions one takes in challenging and difficult situations that determines their character. What a lady! :bigclap:

 

Cub

 

Not getting into an argument, but this isn't the high school locker room (and I didn't even do it back then) and seeing the ladies isn't about notches on your belt and bragging rights, its about sharing some private intimate time together

Building your ego up by demeaning someone else, no way that is right, no matter which head is thinking

How would the guy like it if Vanessa came up in public to him, especially if he was with his family, and outed him.

What happens in private should remain private.

Nuff said

RG

 

Cub

Sorry, wasn't arguing with you, and my post may have come out wrong (and I'm only on my first coffee after a late night)...I know the sentiment you are talking about (that's why my reference to the high school locker room)

I was just commenting more that that individual's psyche (ie notch on the belt attitude) is not an excuse in any way shape or form

Your comment that he is disrepectful, classless and an asshole, I agree wholeheartedly with you on that.

Actually I think you and I agree on this matter

Again, sorry if it was posted wrong, not my intent

RG

[Guest S**a*Q]

Unfortunately, we don't have a working code of ethics here in the industry like they do in the medical and social work profession. Even though we are sought out for the discretion that we include as part of the complete package, there are situations that may lack in confidentiality from the other parties.

 

I like to wonder on the 'why' people do the things they do.

Helps me work on developing who I am.

 

You stated that you pretended not to see him, which is how most of us would act, for sure.

Maybe he took offense to that? Which is entirely stupid, but highly possible.

His ego was a little offput, so he decides to make a point for you to hear it...

 

I question how his friend reacted (on the inside) to what his buddy just told him.

Do you think he was more shocked that you were a service provider

or that his friend had paid for companionship?

He was, in a sense, admitting that he was, as some one else put it, "just one of those guys".

 

That thought brings me to this.

The ex-client obviously thinks it's worse for us to get paid for sex, than for him to pay for sex.

How are they not on the same level?

Maybe because he's only seen the one or two, but we see "x" amount of clients a day.

Isn't that just another version of the Man = Playboy / Woman = Slut from the past?

 

All in all, it was wrong, and it shouldn't have happened to you, unfortunately people say things before thinking of all possible outcomes. :(

 

*Hugs*

[jughead 45]

...... my former reg client says...you see her..I know her...his friend asks..you do...and my former reg client informs him that he has "fucked me a few times" his words, not mine...and that he met me on C>L, and that I am "one of those girls"...

 

Wow..my usual feisty self, wanted to say something, but I was speechless!...............

 

 

If this is truly what this guy thinks I pitty him.

 

 

......The cruel and bitchy part of me would have smoothly chimed in on the conversation nearby and I would have said right in front of his buddy "Yeah I fucked him but it was nothing to write home about." Have fun with your left hand. Ciao." or something....... If people want to insult someone then expect it back tenfold baby..........

 

Interesting thought....

 

 

......BTW he is NOT a cerb member! Cerb gents would not pull that type of b.s. :icon_biggrin:

 

AND BTW: I should also mention, that this guy, was one of the most paranoid clients I have ever met when it came to DISCRETION...crazy huh, considering his tactics...He would always state how much he had to lose if anyone was to EVER find out........

 

 

 

2 ineresting statement here.

 

It is very nice to know that the community has high standards.

 

This guy should tread lightly...revenge can be such a bitch....not that this commmunity would ever go that low......

[Alexandra-Sky 12606]

"One of those girls"

 

I always wonder why people choose to see escorts if they think so low of us...

 

I've had a few clients make similar comments to me (while in session!), not many but a couple and I can't help but *eye roll*.

 

Love to you V!