How to post a lukewarm review

[stand on guard 1186]

I understand that Cerb does not accept the posting of negative reviews. I understand the logic behind this, however, I wonder how one goes about posting a lukewarm review. During my brief time as a member of Cerb, there appears to be an unwritten rule that if there are little or no reviews, then what one can assume is that there was little if anything positive to say about the provider in question. As many use this forum to help them decide who to see, is there a way to offer a little more insight than currently exists. I am not trying to stir the pot, but merely see if there is an alternative to what currently exists.

 

I can say from personal experience, that I was asked by a provider that I had seen to post a review. She was obviously looking for an endorsement. Unfortunately, I did not feel the visit warranted a positive review, and therefore did not post. In a sense I felt like I was doing a disservice to others who may be thinking about seeing the same provider. Did my silence infer anything one way or the other. I am curious what people have to say.

 

I would like to add that the 2 individuals on my friends page ARE NOT the provider in question.

[Athos 108589]

I look for recommendations and then consistency across those recommendations. Absence of recommendations says something. Beyond that, though, even more than recommendations, it is the online presence and personality of the lady is what makes me want to see them.

 

Porthos

[ace881 295]

Usually people say " i had a sort of YMMV experience" and so on, implying that they got bad mileage, but you may get better mileage perhaps. Either that or just subtle words and phrases, like, "it was pretty solid i guess...", "other than X (negative event/trait), it was pretty good". Most people will get the message, and the admins will probably let it fly, but im not sure if its worth writing it in the first place...

[igab 5629]

Well the policy is that if you haven't got something good to say don't say it. I guess if you use the ratings that could tell some folks something too.

I usually don't see someone who doesn't have consistently good reviews or has been recommended by word of mouth in a pm with a trusted hobbiest.

Time and money are too precious to waste.

[mrrnice2 157005]

The choice of writing a review is entirely your own. Each member that writes a review does so in their own way, using their own personal criteria about what to include, what not to include or even if a review is justified.

 

For me, I would not write a lukewarm review, but that's just me. I suppose that is based on the way that I write and no matter how hard I tried it would come across when you read between the lines that there was something 'missing" from the encounter.

 

If I see someone and do not post a review, the only other person who knows that the encounter happened was the service provider, so nobody would be able to read a negative into the fact that I did not write a recco.

 

A recco is exactly that and a lukewarm experience does not justify a glowing review. If you write reviews that are inaccurate then that creates a sense of doubt when you DO write that glowing amazing review of a mind blowing experience. That is perhaps unfair to the lady in that circumstance.

[Andee 220524]

During my brief time as a member of Cerb, there appears to be an unwritten rule that if there are little or no reviews, then what one can assume is that there was little if anything positive to say about the provider in question.

 

 

That assumption is incorrect. There are many SPs on this board who have little or no recos and it has nothing to do with their reputation or skill as a provider.

 

I can think of at least 2 ladies who have many regulars and no recos. Sometimes it's just not something a client feels comfortable in doing.

 

For me, I would rather not have any, but it is a condition of membership on CERB that a lady allow recos. Those ladies who adamently insist on no recos are on the DNR (do not review list) and hence not board members.

 

I would rather have no reco than a lukewarm one.

[Athos 108589]

I agree completely ... I only write a reco if I would, in fact, want my friends to see the lady. I wouldn't write a reco for a lukewarm experience.

 

I've also never had a lady ask for a recommendation. But if asked why I didn't write one I would, politely, explain my reasons.

[stevecurious 42059]

Personally speaking a "luke warm" recommendation isn't really a recommendation at all. We do not critique here and a luke warm reco. is in my mind more of a critique than a thumbs up. I prefer to keep the integrity of the posted recos. intact and not have to question just how valid or real they actually are. If your heart isn't into posting a reco. that is true and respectful than I humbly suggest not posting one at all.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

To the comment "more reviews=sure bet". Not necessarily. As Angela said, some ladies prefer not to have recommendations. While a lady can't be a cerb member if she chooses to be on the DNR list, I am sure there are a lot of ladies who turn down the offer of a review (for what ever reason).

 

Every single person who has given me a review has asked my permission first and a large majority have sent it to me before posting it.

 

My recommendation is to forward the review to the lady prior to posting it and getting her opinion on whether or not it is post worthy. Lets be honest people, there are ALWAYS three sides to the story and messing with a lady's reputation is not only financially damaging to her but so very wrong on so many levels.

[NotchJohnson 214090]

To the comment "more reviews=sure bet". Not necessarily. As Angela said, some ladies prefer not to have recommendations. While a lady can't be a cerb member if she chooses to be on the DNR list, I am sure there are a lot of ladies who turn down the offer of a review (for what ever reason).

 

Every single person who has given me a review has asked my permission first and a large majority have sent it to me before posting it.

 

My recommendation is to forward the review to the lady prior to posting it and getting her opinion on whether or not it is post worthy. Lets be honest people, there are ALWAYS three sides to the story and messing with a lady's reputation is not only financially damaging to her but so very wrong on so many levels.

 

I don't want to get off track here but what Meg is saying is true. Let the lady read the reco that you wrote for her before posting it, some ladies do not like when we go to much into details, and some ladies do.

Back to the OP question I would not post a reco if I did not entirely(or at least 90% of it) enjoyed my date.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I really don't see the point of a lukewarm reco. Either recommend someone, or don't. And please bear in mind that just because you didn't think someone was entirely wonderful, that doesn't mean she won't turn out to be the next guy's ATF. We can't all get on perfectly with everyone.

 

As far as I'm concerned, the only really relevant question is: do I want to see her again? If yes, I'll write a reco, assuming she's OK with it (which doesn't always mean I --have-- seen her again, just that I would). If not, I won't.

[DukeSSk 3430]

I recall some time ago reading some recommendations that were pretty basic (can't remember the ladies). The went like : "Location was discreet/clean/easy to find, she was very friendly, will repeat". Would this be considered lukewarm? Compared to some get 5-6 paragraphs with lots of detail, one could say so.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I recall some time ago reading some recommendations that were pretty basic (can't remember the ladies). The went like : "Location was discreet/clean/easy to find, she was very friendly, will repeat". Would this be considered lukewarm? Compared to some get 5-6 paragraphs with lots of detail, one could say so.

 

Couldn't say. It'd depend on who wrote it :)

 

Some guys love to go into lengthy details and write epic accounts of their encounters, some are rather more minimalist (as above), and - alas - many people don't write recos at all. So to judge a very terse reco like the one above, you'd really have to have read a few more of the author's recos for other ladies. If they're all like that, then that's probably just his style. If he's written much more enthusiastic-sounding recos for other ladies... well, maybe this one was just phoned in, for whatever reason, and it might be reasonable to infer something from that.

 

To be honest, any reco at all is never a bad thing.

[roamingguy 300292]

My two cents. CERB is not a review board, it is a recommendation board.

And as the motto at the top of the page says, If you do not have anything nice to say...Please don't say anything at all

If the purpose of your review is to not recommend, but to criticize (saying something not nice) then don't post it here, it doesn't belong on CERB

Critical reviews, well there are other boards for those type of postings

As for ladies with no or little recommendations, well I saw one lady who personally doesn't like reviews. But the recommendation I wrote she liked and approved me to post. More recently another lady I saw has reviews on other sites, but seeing that this board is the only one I frequent, well I posted the first recommendation on this board of this lady. But if anyone looked at just this site, they would say, gee only one reco, is she really a good SP...no she's not, she is one I'd categorize as a great companion. Point making low or no recos doesn't necessarily mean a bad provider

A rambling

RG

[Athos 108589]

My two cents. CERB is not a review board, it is a recommendation board.

And as the motto at the top of the page says, If you do not have anything nice to say...Please don't say anything at all

If the purpose of your review is to not recommend, but to criticize (saying something not nice) then don't post it here, it doesn't belong on CERB

Critical reviews, well there are other boards for those type of postings

As for ladies with no or little recommendations, well I saw one lady who personally doesn't like reviews. But the recommendation I wrote she liked and approved me to post. More recently another lady I saw has reviews on other sites, but seeing that this board is the only one I frequent, well I posted the first recommendation on this board of this lady. But if anyone looked at just this site, they would say, gee only one reco, is she really a good SP...no she's not, she is one I'd categorize as a great companion. Point making low or no recos doesn't necessarily mean a bad provider

A rambling

RG

 

 

Absolutely correct RG ... I use the recommendations in general to confirm the opinion that I'm forming of a lady based on her posts and my interactions. In general, if I see that a lady has been a member of the board for some time, has very few posts, and no recommendations, I'll probably stay away. Is that fair, possibly not. As I've said, it really is the board personality of the lady that draws me in.

 

But, I've recently seen a lady who has no presence on CERB, no recommendations, and she was an absolutely incredible experience. Recommendation to follow.

 

As RG has said ... this isn't a review board. Recommendations indicate that my fellow hobbyists and friends think a lady is worth seeing. I take that opinion seriously. But really, that's how it should be looked at. recommend or not.

 

I'd also like to endorse what others said ... always ask the lady if she is comfortable with you writing a recommendation, and run the wording past her. The level of detail should always reflect her comfort level, not your desire to write an epic.

 

Porthos

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

My take is if you didn't have a good time then no reco is deserved.

[CristyCurves 169032]

The year and a half I've been here I've met more men that don't post reco's then do. There are simply to many men that prefer to keep who they visit private, so to judge any provider on their limited number of reco's would be unfair and uninformed :icon_biggrin:.Wether you decide to post and what you decide to post should be between you and your provider but it should always remain positive as per the rules. I've noticed some men post when asked if they have any info on a lady they reply " my mom says if I don't have anything nice to say -don't say anything at all" the same as a negative review, but that is just my opinion.

[roamingguy 300292]

The year and a half I've been here I've met more men that don't post reco's then do. There are simply to many men that prefer to keep who they visit private, so to judge any provider on their limited number of reco's would be unfair and uninformed :icon_biggrin:.Wether you decide to post and what you decide to post should be between you and your provider but it should always remain positive as per the rules. I've noticed some men post when asked if they have any info on a lady they reply " my mom says if I don't have anything nice to say -don't say anything at all" the same as a negative review, but that is just my opinion.

 

Have to agree with your last point Cristy. If a bad encounter, this site has a wonderful feature, a PM system. Shouldn't post anything negative publicly, even something inferring a negative. If you have a bad encounter with a lady either keep it quiet, or if asked, send a PM

My two cents

RG

[stevecurious 42059]

Just a side note to clarify my stance on recommendations and the posting of them. When I go into a date I have it in mind that I will be posting a reco. post date and don't only if the situation warrants it. So, much like going out for dinner you expect to be leaving a tip for the wait person. In this case I expect to write a reco. and we work our way down from it...not the other way round.

 

To that end I enjoy writing recos. and if or should I say WHEN I have a good time I always write about my experience sans details of course.

 

This is not the only way but it is my way so I thought I would share.

[fortunateone 156618]

Maybe shortening the word to reco makes people forget what the word is: recommendation.

 

If you are posting something it means you are recommending her based on your own criteria, whatever it is. If by 'lukewarm' you mean you would not recommend her based on that criteria, then you shouldn't post anything at all.

 

Isn't it awkward when the sp asks for a recommendation (before or after, btw?), and the client feels obligated, or 'deer in headlights' response?

 

What does she do if he says yes, but it is never posted? What if he says no?

 

Please don't feel forced or obligated to write something for anyone if you aren't feeling the love lol :)

[Touch 57501]

Personally speaking a "luke warm" recommendation isn't really a recommendation at all. We do not critique here and a luke warm reco. is in my mind more of a critique than a thumbs up. I prefer to keep the integrity of the posted recos. intact and not have to question just how valid or real they actually are. If your heart isn't into posting a reco. that is true and respectful than I humbly suggest not posting one at all.

 

On the whole, I rather agree with SteveC here.

[explorer69 3513]

If your experience was not positive, there is another Board where you can be more candid. Most people on cerb are on the other Board too. Many use this Board as there are more photos, and there is the opportunity to PM or chat to get to know the SP/MPA. Then many go to the other Board to determine whether they want to meet the SP/MPA.

This will accomplish your goal.

[ace881 295]

Another phenomenon is that clients on purpose dont write about an SP they met, because the reco might cause a surge in demand, and then she would be booked solid from months, not available to him!

[BownChickaBown 4829]

To the OP:

 

If you can answer this: Would I recommend this lady to other friends to the same level I would expect friends to recommend ladies to me?

 

...then you have your answer. From this thread though, it appears to be 'no'.

 

For me, I know that answer would No right from the moment I was asked for a recommendation - so sad to have this occur here over and over again, as it degrades the whole point of recos imho.

 

Yet... Funny how no one jumped on this part of the rendez-vous (to condemn it), when it is Clearly an Attempt to NEGOTIATE the Price. A cardinal sin - No??? (...or is it only Clients cannot Negotiate with SPs - but SPs can negotiate with clients? Appears to be some confusion here about this amongst the community.)

 

If I were to suggest a price other than that already set (or some other cost to the SP) - I would be burned at the stake (again). So how is it a double-standard can be ignored here with having a SP try and 'negotiate more price' from the client???

 

How in good faith can one write a reco for someone whom breaks one of the cardinal sins of this business?

 

Also as stated, for providing a 'review' of the facts (good, bad or ugly), then there are other sites where this can be done. Like a reco, this is at your own prerogative of course. You feel the SP is someone to avoid? (...or they were just not your cup of tea that day?)

All the best with having a better experience next time, but as I have come to learn about hobbying as is life - the stars don't always align. Yet like fools, we try and try again :) because when they do! ;) (...then write a reco.)

[Peachka 4334]

If your experience was not positive, there is another Board where you can be more candid. Most people on cerb are on the other Board too. Many use this Board as there are more photos, and there is the opportunity to PM or chat to get to know the SP/MPA. Then many go to the other Board to determine whether they want to meet the SP/MPA.

This will accomplish your goal.

 

This is the best advice in this thread!