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I am Now Officially Celebate Re: C-36

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Guest Cr**gCa***ng

To whom it may concern:

 

Please be advised that due to the new legislation formerly known as Bill C-36, I am now officially celibate and no longer engage in any sexual or intimate practises with anyone whatsoever. I have entered into a totally monogamous relationship with myself so that I am in keeping with the law of the land and am conforming to all moral guidelines. If and when I contact anyone anywhere or anytime no sexual services are being requested in exchange for money or for other consideration.

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To whom it may concern:

 

Please be advised that due to the new legislation formerly known as Bill C-36, I am now officially celibate and no longer engage in any sexual or intimate practises with anyone whatsoever. I have entered into a totally monogamous relationship with myself so that I am in keeping with the law of the land and am conforming to all moral guidelines. If and when I contact anyone anywhere or anytime no sexual services are being requested in exchange for money or for other consideration.

 

I was so impressed by your example, that I've decided to also dedicate myself to God and a religious life.

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Guest Cr**gCa***ng
I was so impressed by your example, that I've decided to also dedicate myself to God and a religious life.

 

 

Amen brother!!

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I would join the celibacy party except that it wouldn't take long for me to start foaming at the mouth... Wait....nevermind, that's just drool.

Edited by xxxAxxx
typo

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I was so impressed by your example, that I've decided to also dedicate myself to God and a religious life.

 

Not just God and a religious life, but since it was MacKay and the CPC that made me see the error of my ways, I'm going to join the conservative party:icon_rolleyes:

 

When_62d398_1325713.jpg

 

 

RG :-)

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I was so impressed by your example, that I've decided to also dedicate myself to God and a religious life.

 

I want to join this cult, sounds amazing....wait....can we still masturbate?

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I'm in !

 

Maybe we should create the Fraternity of Holy Perveted !

And we should worship Life and celebrate the Goddess of Fertility, Pleasure and Freedom.

 

Since Harper promoted the freedom of religion in China, I'm sure he will protect it in our own country.

 

Donation accepted.

 

lol

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I want to join this cult, sounds amazing....wait....can we still masturbate?

 

I suspect case lot lotion and Kleenex sale may be on the rise ? ;)

 

And I wish I had shares in the Hitachi company and Duracell I suppose

 

I myself am torn between joining the Fat Bastard celibacy camp for perverts ? Sponsored by Budweiser . Or having myself cryogenically frozen for 30 Frickin years ?

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I only wish that Harpers mother had taken a vow of celibacy and stuck to it... i find it somewhat funny that a guy so adamantly against abortion is more like the poster child for it.

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I have also decided to turn in my abusive pimp, stop prostituting myself for my next fix, go to rehab, and join the dinosaur era by becoming a delusional extreme feminist anti myself! I will even stop having sex and promise not to masturbate anymore!

 

Wow, I can't wait to become a real woman, a respectable one at that, with great values and morals, and not a helpless victim anymore! There might be a future for me, after-all!

 

Thinking of it, I might even start going to church every Sunday!!!

 

CPC, thank you so much for changing my life for the better! I don't know what I would've done without you! Truly a life saver!

 

 

.........-

In case anyone reads this and thinks I'm being serious, this post is 100% sarcastic and not real lol

Edited by Ga*****la L****nce
typo
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I have also decided to turn in my abusive pimp, stop prostituting myself for my next fix, go to rehab, and join the dinosaur era by becoming a delusional extreme feminist anti myself! I will even stop having sex and promise not to masturbate anymore!

 

Wow, I can't wait to become a real women, a respectable one at that, with great values and morals, and not a helpless victim anymore! There might be a future for me, after-all!

 

Thinking of it, I might even start going to church every Sunday!!!

 

CPC, thank you so much for changing my life for the better! I don't know what I would've done without you! Truly a life saver!

 

 

.........-

In case anyone reads this and thinks I'm being serious, this post is 100% sarcastic and not real lol

 

OMG I'm relieved...for a second I thought I was going to have to get a divorce from my (virtual) wifey. Gawd what does that say about conservative family values, their laws leading to (virtual) marital break-ups

 

 

Signed (virtual) Hubby

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I want to join this cult, sounds amazing....wait....can we still masturbate?

 

Sure. Just as long as no money exchanges hands.

Sounds like the end of "pocket pool" to me, particularly if you're in the habit of carrying loose change.

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Guys.

You don't need to create a new cult.

 

It already exist.

It's call being Wiccan.

A way to celebrate whatever god you choose is by having sex.

 

So now we are just all celebrating gods and goddesses together

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Attention: Masturbation is now illegal. If you must make physical contact with the opposite sex please do so in the form of a handshake.

 

*Note: All handshakes must be pre-approved by Overlord Harper.

 

:)

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Stephen Harper and Peter Mackay are my new heroes!

 

 

NOT!!!!!!

 

r-STEPHEN-HARPER-PETER-MACKAY-large570.jpg

 

ep6_bts_612_r-4_3.jpg

 

Strange the resemblance PM and SH have to the Emperor and Darth Vader...and both backed up by their

Imperial Storm Troopers.

 

RG

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Guest N***he**Ont**y

Thanks to the Temple Of The Conservative Party of Canada an off shoot of the the Reformist Good Mom And Apple Pie Circa 1955 Good Feeling Church I have joined an program of Celibacy while I am in Millhaven doing Bill C36 time. I am known as # 12367872 there.

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I happily await the day that the Conservatives pull their heads out of their asses and their noses out of our beds!

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Attention: Masturbation is now illegal. If you must make physical contact with the opposite sex please do so in the form of a handshake.

 

*Note: All handshakes must be pre-approved by Overlord Harper.

 

:)

 

I do know some pretty interesting handshakes ;)

 

Peace

MG

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I happily await the day that the Conservatives pull their heads out of their asses and their noses out of our beds!

 

That'll be the next federal election when we can kick them out of office

Remember this at election time

 

RG

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Oh yes Brothers, I too have been liberated by our new leader Pete, a fellow Maritimer (and I hasten to add not from NB but another Maritime province) who is leading us away from the wickedness of pervertedness. For six years now I have been visiting with CERB ladies not realizing that my perverted ways were harming them so much that they need protection from me. Oh yes, how happy I am to return to the natural world under the glories of C-36, away form pervertedness. When I visit with Cerb ladies in the future i will spend my time telling them of how I have seen the light thanks to Pete. So glad to be in the natural world..lets see what is the news of the day?....Oh, a Canadian celebrety slugs women, and .. sexual harassment on Parliament hill... Hey Pete, want to run that by me once again why I am the pervert!

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Can we get a giant AMEN from the congregation. :icon_lol:

Such a relief that we are all being "saved" from our perverted ways and exploitation. Oh, you poor dears, had I only known that I was causing you to be drug dependent and abused by pimps and trafficked into slavery and all that. I would have mended my ways. Now, wtf am I supposed to do with the daily "morning wood"? Jebus, enlighten me please. :icon_wink:

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