Phaedrus

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is almost over, and we haven't had any pirate boobies yet. That was close, wasn't it?

Ah, crap. This is all I got:

Congratulations, Lexy! Look forward to many more...

False. I can't believe that really happens, whatever the porn industry would have us believe. I can hold my breath for three minutes.

I see your Keely Hazells, and... uh... um... I can't do much right now 'cos I'm drooling on my keyboard. In the meantime, here are Alice Goodwin and Sammy Braddy, in triplicate:

Yes, he's talented, but... far too pretty for his own good. Sorry, but you just *can't* claim any sort of rock'n'roll credibility if you look like you've just walked out of a shampoo advertisement. +1 on David Gilmour - the guy has a knack for pulling a perfect solo out of nowhere. And I can't believe nobody's mentioned Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King yet.

Nope. This is set out very clearly in the Book of Fat Bastards, verses thirteen to twenty-five: "Thrice shalt thou cum; no more, no less. Three shall be the number of the cummings, and the number of the orgasms shall be three. Four shalt thou not have; neither shalt thou cum twice, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then kickest thou out from thine boudoir the Fat Bastard that hath entertained thee, lest thy supplies of sacred pizza and beer be sorely diminished forthwith." (with apologies to Monty Python :) )

Since it be "Talk Like a Pirate Day"...

Hmmmm... tricky, but... true, I guess. I lost my virginity in a cemetery.

Happy birthday, Samantha! Enjoy!

I like this. I don't know why. That is all.

Who knows, indeed? I'm bringing a stepladder to this hug. Purely in the interests of research, you understand :)

While you're at it - Helen Mirren (born 1945)

I have a beer. I'm doomed, but at least I'm going to die happy :)

Congratulations, Katherine!

In that case, it can't be far off time to think about 2012 calenders, too. Decisions, decisions... :boobies: Bonus boobies: Lucy Pinder

Wow. Congratulations, Old Dog. Any fool can be prolific, but it takes real talent to be consistently entertaining. I salute you, sir! And as a somewhat offbeat tribute... here's a series of pics that someone took of his dog with its head stuck out the car window at progressively higher speeds. Click to make it bigger (if only that worked with everything...)

From here. Explanation: In the shadow of Saturn, unexpected wonders appear. The robotic Cassini spacecraft now orbiting Saturn drifted in giant planet's shadow for about 12 hours in 2006 and looked back toward the eclipsed Sun. Cassini saw a view unlike any other. First, the night side of Saturn is seen to be partly lit by light reflected from its own majestic ring system. Next, the rings themselves appear dark when silhouetted against Saturn, but quite bright when viewed away from Saturn, slightly scattering sunlight, in this exaggerated color image. Saturn's rings light up so much that new rings were discovered, although they are hard to see in the image. Seen in spectacular detail, however, is Saturn's E ring, the ring created by the newly discovered ice-fountains of the moon Enceladus and the outermost ring visible above. Far in the distance, at the left, just above the bright main rings, is the almost ignorable pale blue dot of Earth.

Pantera - Walk

I find I have the opposite problem... when I'm reading the more general bits of the site I keep thinking "Oooh, I'd like to meet her!", and "Must go and see her again soon, it's been too long", and "Damn, she's on the other side of the country!". And unfortunately I only have one lifetime to spare! To be honest, I don't look at the ads much at all, except to find out availability and contact details for someone I've already decided I want to see.

Congratulations, Dorinda! Looking forward to many more!

Congratulations, Meg!

Actually, I take it as a sign of health for the board... a lack of disagreement and debate often means a forum that's on the way to getting boring and stagnant and... fading away. We're all human, and sometimes we're all going to be slightly more intemperate than we'd perhaps wish. But also we're all adults, and to be honest I think everyone here does a pretty good job of keeping a lid on it when things get pissy. Trust me, there's far worse out there. I have phases of indulging in political arguments, and *far* worse gets said in the forums where politics is discussed :) So, carry on, everyone. You're all awesome, even when you're having a collective bad day.

There are no dumb questions. There are only dumb answers. Also, it's waaaay better to ask a stupid question than to make a stupid mistake :) There have been quite a few threads on references on here: here's one (there are others, but I was too lazy to look further). Well, the ladies will be able to give you a better answer than me, but in a nutshell: as with everything like this, it's the small minority that screw things up for everyone. It's all about the safety of the SPs, and about them taking whatever steps they need to to feel safe when putting themselves in a position where they're alone with a complete stranger. Well, some ladies don't ask for references at all, but they'll probably have other screening methods. The may use third-party reference sources like the 'check' services, or they may just want to chat for a bit (by email, pm, phone, whatever) to get a feel for who you are. There are also a few threads around where guys have questioned the need to give out as much personal information as some ladies ask for and have generally been shot down in flames. If a SP asks for information you're not prepared to divulge then you just don't see her, that's all. At the end of the day, each individual SP will do as much or as little screening as it takes for her to feel comfortable and safe seeing you, and if she isn't comfortable she probably won't see you :) Not sure what others do, but I've always contacted the lady who I'm going to ask for the reference first to check she's OK with it and tell her who it's for, so it doesn't come as a complete surprise. And AFAIK most SPs are absolutely fine with giving references, since it's all for the safety and well-being of other SPs. They're not going to get pissy about you seeing someone else... after all, they have other clients. As for the Catch-22 you mention above with getting started - I don't think it's necessarily that bad. Some ladies don't ask for references, and I think some that do will screen via other methods if you can't provide one. If in doubt, you can always drop the object of your desires a mail to explain that you're just getting back into things, and ask if she's OK with alternative screening methods.

Yep. Even with the pics that ladies post here on CERB, convention is to ask the owner of the pic for permission before posting it in the best bums thread, or wherever else. And that's a pic that someone has posted themselves for others to see... these, on the other hand, are pics that were never intended to be seen by a wide audience, and hacking a phone and plastering them all over the Internet isn't cool. Celebrities give up a certain amount of privacy in return for the benefits of their fame... but I think this is a step too far. That didn't stop me looking at them, of course, but it did make me feel slightly guilty about it.