Would you give your full legal name to an SP?

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Do you really want me to scream out "oh yes John!" when your name is really Damian? Sorry, couldn't resist. The fact is, if you meet my screening criteria and show yourself to be trustworthy your last name is unimportant to me. But then again, we all have our comfort zones and they should be respected.

 

That's why I always give my first name (smile). And I definitely agree about blocked numbers being a problem for the ladies ... That would make me nervous too.

[The General 11309]

I have certainly been willing to share my full name, but that really depends on who I am sharing that with.

 

For me, I want to at least feel that I know that lady enough to be comfortable, since it is a bit of a trust issue. To me, that means if she is a CERB lady, I will have chatted a couple of times, likely read a fair amount of her posts and feel that she has developed enough of a reputation to feel comfortable doing so.

 

I have done some outcalls, and do you think that I try to hide everything that might provide this anyway, so I am okay, but then might be in a different space than some of the gents, that feel that the risk is very high.

 

I agree that the ladies can require screening, but at the same time, they should realize that they may need to build their respect in the gents eyes first, before they feel that they are willing to share.

 

My 2 cents.

[Hands95 60]

That we, quite literally, are sometimes putting our lives on the line...

 

Man, if the industry ever becomes completely legit, the Workman's Comp premiums are going to kill you!!

 

Ok, couldn't resist injecting a little humour into a serious, and somewhat polarized, discussion.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Man, if the industry ever becomes completely legit, the Workman's Comp premiums are going to kill you!!

.

 

Some positions warrant hazzard pay LOL

[roamingguy 300291]

Some positions warrant hazzard pay LOL

 

What positions would those be LOL

RG

[chavez 641]

KingBong I know where you are coming from. I use my cerb name or more commonly my name from another board. I don't block my calls to my 'pay as you go' cell phone , but that isn't real either. I will give my real name to a lady on a shared basis if she asked after we have met a few times. I have never done an incall, always an outcall, (usually to my hotel room) that is often registered in an different name. explanation: I perfer not to enter her world and thereby compromise her identity. I'm O.K. if she want to share that idenity after we meet but I don't want to know before.

By the way, good tip Angeltbay. I love to hear anything that anyone learns to make things work for all of us.

Do I think that I am over cautious; not really. Once, and only once, I made an appointment with a lady(?) and had to cancel due to unusual circumstances ( I won't go into details now, but sufficient to say if you ever meet the artist known as 'meat loaf' and you see he has a terrible limp, you will know I saw him in the last 2 weeks and kicked his ass around the block til I couldn't lift my foot again).

Anyway I let her know 5 hours before our appointment.

The crap she put me through was crazy even though I offered to compensate her. She published my name on another board as a 'bad date' and included parts of my 2 cell ph numbers. I truly believe if she had my full name she would have done anything with she could with that.

Since that time, if you want my name, we have to meet first.

So how is a guy to get into the ' hobby'. Carefully !

Initially I choose an SP with an great rep. for security of information. I did give her all the info she needed after I asked her if she would give an honest report of our ' date' when other ladies requested a reference.

Then when we met I gave her my standard treatment.

Since then I have had no problems. When asked for name, or where I works or anything else I simple say I will share( like you show me yours, I'll show you mine) those thing when we meet if you require it; until then I will give you however many referrences you would like. I seldom know if they check the references.

Some what I have a rep on the boards. Granted my rep here isn't sterling, but that is because I'm honest, don't hide my thoughts and don't sugar coat things. If I'm saying good things about you, you deserve it.

Anyway, I don't blame the ladies for being cautious, you should be every bit as cautious, try to find some way that works for each of you.

chicas/chavez

 

ps. Sorry for the story; that's just my style

[lovethegirls 127]

I have ONE sp i see on a regular basis. It is only because I also know her by her true name, and she knows me by true name!!! We have NEVER had any problems with this. I fully understand that she has her life and I have mine. We fully respect that. I have lent her money, and she has always re-payed! She is one honest Lady!

I also understand why you ladies require real names. There are real sickos out there. I am in no way saying that you Ladies should not do so, but for me, it is that added trust with a Lady to tell me her name as well. It works both ways!

Have a great night Ladies! And keep doing what you feel safe about! I am in no way trying to change your thinking. Just be safe Ladies!!!!

[EmilyRushton 253346]

KingBong I know where you are coming from. I use my cerb name or more commonly my name from another board. I don't block my calls to my 'pay as you go' cell phone , but that isn't real either. I will give my real name to a lady on a shared basis if she asked after we have met a few times. I have never done an incall, always an outcall, (usually to my hotel room) that is often registered in an different name. explanation: I perfer not to enter her world and thereby compromise her identity. I'm O.K. if she want to share that idenity after we meet but I don't want to know before.

By the way, good tip Angeltbay. I love to hear anything that anyone learns to make things work for all of us.

Do I think that I am over cautious; not really. Once, and only once, I made an appointment with a lady(?) and had to cancel due to unusual circumstances ( I won't go into details now, but sufficient to say if you ever meet the artist known as 'meat loaf' and you see he has a terrible limp, you will know I saw him in the last 2 weeks and kicked his ass around the block til I couldn't lift my foot again).

Anyway I let her know 5 hours before our appointment.

The crap she put me through was crazy even though I offered to compensate her. She published my name on another board as a 'bad date' and included parts of my 2 cell ph numbers. I truly believe if she had my full name she would have done anything with she could with that.

Since that time, if you want my name, we have to meet first.

So how is a guy to get into the ' hobby'. Carefully !

Initially I choose an SP with an great rep. for security of information. I did give her all the info she needed after I asked her if she would give an honest report of our ' date' when other ladies requested a reference.

Then when we met I gave her my standard treatment.

Since then I have had no problems. When asked for name, or where I works or anything else I simple say I will share( like you show me yours, I'll show you mine) those thing when we meet if you require it; until then I will give you however many referrences you would like. I seldom know if they check the references.

Some what I have a rep on the boards. Granted my rep here isn't sterling, but that is because I'm honest, don't hide my thoughts and don't sugar coat things. If I'm saying good things about you, you deserve it.

Anyway, I don't blame the ladies for being cautious, you should be every bit as cautious, try to find some way that works for each of you.

chicas/chavez

 

ps. Sorry for the story; that's just my style

 

Sorry but I do not know a single lady who asks for a reference that does not check it. If you want to be shifty that's your business, but stating you don't have a sterling reputation on a board that has a policy of things to be said, makes me wonder why you are part of this community. As per your question, how can a guy get into the hobby? be honest and respect the women he contacts.

[jforjigs 100]

I don't mind giving my name out. The more I make SPs feel secure and comfortable, the more enjoyable my date goes.

[VedaSloan 119179]

For those of you using the "it's a two way street," "clients are at risk too" type excuses, blah blah blah. Give me a break.

 

The risk that you will victimize me is much much greater than the risk that I might rip you off. There is a much greater risk that you'll use my name to out me, harass me, stalk me, etc than there is that I will use it to ruin your life. Let's get real.

 

And for those of you using the "oh, but what if she publishes my name on a bad date list" excuse: There are two sides to every story and you probably did something to deserve it. Straight up. It's much more likely that you were a dickhead than it is that she was trying to be vindictive.

 

I hate these conversations. My safety is more important than your precious name.

 

/end rant

[LeeRichards 177238]

I have certainly been willing to share my full name, but that really depends on who I am sharing that with.

 

For me, I want to at least feel that I know that lady enough to be comfortable, since it is a bit of a trust issue. To me, that means if she is a CERB lady, I will have chatted a couple of times, likely read a fair amount of her posts and feel that she has developed enough of a reputation to feel comfortable doing so.

 

I have done some outcalls, and do you think that I try to hide everything that might provide this anyway, so I am okay, but then might be in a different space than some of the gents, that feel that the risk is very high.

 

I agree that the ladies can require screening, but at the same time, they should realize that they may need to build their respect in the gents eyes first, before they feel that they are willing to share.

 

My 2 cents.

 

Very very well said General. Trust and comfort level !

 

I have given my full name a couple times. It is the trust factor as you stated. I also know the real names of a couple of them as well. Once again. Trust. Keep in mind my location is out of the big city so I meet with travelling ladies. I have met and settled on meeting with a select few whenever I am lucky enough for them to pass through my neck of the woods and I would give them my full name if need be but I guess it was never asked. They do all know my real first name however. Once the trust and comfort level is there then I find it sooo much easier to converse with the ladies using my real name.

 

But that is just my feeling on this. I do understand however how opinons could vary on this topic.

[chavez 641]

No, in all respects, your saftey is not more importants than mine. I don't have difficulty arrangeing appointments. I don't ask for real names. I give you mine, if you give me yours; but after we meet and only if you ask.

Actually very few ladies ask after we meet, but I am O.K. if they want to share.

chicas/chavez

[renegade 11027]

come on you do not in any way risk what the girls do -why are you at the same amount of risk ???????

[April Dawn 12207]

Wowza.. At the end of the day I will always be the dirty mercenary prostitute and any man I am caught with will be the upstanding family man who got tricked into it by a cunning woman.

Posted via Mobile Device

[roamingguy 300291]

As I read more of this thread as it unfolds, couple more thoughts.

First, at least for me, I do not see any ladies that I would be embarrassed/ashamed if someone found out I saw them...in short I see ladies...and if your embarrassed/ashamed by seeing ladies or the ladies you see, maybe you shouldn't see them

Second, and this seems so simple a concept. If you don't or won't trust a lady with your name, why should the lady trust you to be alone with you, intimately

Just a couple more thoughts.

RG

[Parker 19761]

No, in all respects, your saftey is not more importants than mine. I don't have difficulty arrangeing appointments. I don't ask for real names. I give you mine, if you give me yours; but after we meet and only if you ask.

Actually very few ladies ask after we meet, but I am O.K. if they want to share.

chicas/chavez

 

No one is saying your safety is less important.

What people are trying to say is you do take FAR less risk. You, as a client, are never taking as much risk as your escort.

And my life is far more important than your name.

 

You might get ripped off, be put on a black list...

But I may be chopped up into little pieces and dumped into a ditch, not only losing my life, but deeply hurting those who are close to me.

 

It's not nice and even I don't like thinking about it, but it's a reality.

To this day there are serial killers out there, uncaught, taking their anger out on prostitutes of all types. (street, escort, ect.)

 

When a client says and acts like he is taking more risk than I am, it's completely thoughtless.

[rick_falcon 911]

Personally, I have never been personally asked for a full name as verification.

I give a legit phone number, a call back follows and that was it.

 

I have no problem giving my full name if I am asked to. Some ladies know it and I don't mind.

But I can understand why some gentlemen are more hesitant since they may have different responsibilities that might be affected (family life, work environment, etc...)

[capitalman 3861]

Ladies, how do you know you're getting a real name from the client? How does this name make things safer for you? Is it just giving you a false sense of security, or real security?

 

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

[renegade 11027]

you should not even need to reply to that !

 

Additional Comments:

those that want to deceive will always do so, it amazes me that there are any cerb memders that would play that game

[Parker 19761]

Ladies, how do you know you're getting a real name from the client? How does this name make things safer for you? Is it just giving you a false sense of security, or real security?

 

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

 

I personally don't ask for real names, but thought I might throw in my thoughts anyways.. :)

 

You're absolutely right, asking for a real name is not going to keep you safe... but I think when used properly with other screening methods and 'gut instinct', it's probably a very effective tool.

 

I've said it once and I'll say it again and again...

 

Not all screening methods are directly used.

For example; I ask you for a reference, you protest.. Red flag.

I ask you for a reference and you politely explain your lack of... Gold star.

 

While some ladies might want to verify your name, others may simply use it to see if you're going to protest, make something up or sneakily try to avoid the question of a name...

 

Screening methods are best when combined with other methods as well as instinct.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Agree. I have been asking myself the same question. Perhaps there is another part of their screening process that confirms the guy's identity. I know some ladies ask for a phone number (landline) they can actually verify but other than that I don't see how a name that may not be real protects anyone. Even if he shows a piece of ID (which I doubt someone would ask for his) and if this was the case in order to 'really' be safe they would have to inform someone else of this guy's identity then? I know is not very likely that a gentleman that have agreed to provide and have his name verified will actually do something but as it has been said there's crazy people out there and/or act impulsively.

 

Ladies, how do you know you're getting a real name from the client? How does this name make things safer for you? Is it just giving you a false sense of security, or real security?

 

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

[mikkismitty 197]

My two cents are that I have no problem giving my real name or number as I want the woman I am with to be relaxed and feel secure. If there is no trust or at least respect in the beginning I think the encounter won't be as special as it could be.

 

I personally respect and sometimes can't believe the risks you SP's take. I know this may sound chauvinistic but I always perceived the risk as being much more yours than mine. I therefore would be willing to do all in my power to ease those risks. If it means for me to give you my name and number than I really have no problem with that.

 

I think the last thing we here would like to see any of our wonderful SP's get into an ugly situation. Be safe people. Hope that was not too preachy.....just one guy's opinion.

[April Dawn 12207]

Why wouldn't a lady ask for an id? Gentlemen can to verify proof of age.. I don't want to go to jail for having sex with an underage client... Ten gets you twenty as I like to say...

Posted via Mobile Device

[etasman2000 15994]

I can walk into any phone kiosk and get a pay as you go phone under the name "Mike Hunt" and now when I phone you my name is Mike Hunt. How does this make things safer? I don't see it.

 

It is part of the security system and not the entire security system itself.

 

There are 2 issues here: identification and verification.

 

If you have a pay-as-you-go phone with name "Mike Hunt" and you give your name as "Mike Hunt" you have identified yourself as "Mike Hunt" but not verified yourself as the "Mike Hunt".

 

To uniquely verify yourself as the "Mike Hunt" another item is required, one which will filter out other "Mike Hunt". Work place contact, SP references are the typical items.

 

Bottom line, security is a continuum and not just a black and white line and there are more moving parts then what is typically presented.

[roamingguy 300291]

But I can understand why some gentlemen are more hesitant since they may have different responsibilities that might be affected (family life, work environment, etc...)

 

On first glance, without really analyzing it, yes, the fear that your home or work life could be affected seems to be a valid reason to not provide your name

But when you think it through, the ladies are doing this for their livelihood. They make money by being SP's. The fear that the lady will "out" you, why would a lady do that. She would soon lose clients, and consequently money

If blackmail, she'd have to pick a rich guy, and most of us aren't rich, just have a little disposable income on hand

And if your gut feeling is the lady you are seeing isn't trustworthy enough to know your name...don't see her. Just the same as the ladies won't see a guy if their gut feeling tells them not to

Some more thoughts

RG